split screen {sad}ness || raseri

I didn't remember why I had agreed to meet up with Paisley Summers.

Honestly, I hardly wanted to do anything anymore. The few parts of my daily life not spent taking care of Rhett were spent staring at walls or trying to fall asleep, as if that were even possible. The scars left behind by Drew's death had slowly healed (although I knew they would never fully disappear), but new wounds had been opened in their place, and these were unfathomably deeper. And now, I was going to meet my dead best friend's girlfriend, as if that would make things better. As if anything would make anything better.

But I suppose we both needed a friend.

My fingers curled tightly around the folded top of the brown paper bag as I walked down the road. The location of Drew's favorite oak tree was practically engraved in my mind by now. As it came into view, I waved at Paisley, who was sitting on the ground, leaning against the trunk.

"Uh, hey," I greeted her, when I was close enough. The paper bag rustled when I slid my hand into it, pulling out one of the foil-wrapped rectangles and offering to her. Just to take my mind off things, I'd made two sandwiches, both peanut butter and jelly. "I, um... I made you a sandwich," I said.

{ooc- omg I just read through our first thread again and it made me like, really really sad xD}

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Seeing her face suddenly reminded me that it hadn't been just Drew I was missing after his death; it had been Paisley, too. It was like, once he was gone, she had just disappeared off the face of the planet. It was a good feeling, seeing a familiar face when so many others were disappearing around you--when you're hanging on to the world by a thread, it's comforting to see more strings appearing, keeping you steady. Reasons to keep going, like Rhett.

"Thanks, Trey," Paisley said, unwrapping the sandwich and taking a bite. I sat cross-legged in the grass beside her and opened my own sandwich before biting off a little piece of it, even though I wasn't really hungry.

"So how is everything going?"

Well, my best friend died a few years ago, and not too long after that, I saved a girl from her crazy alcoholic father. I got her pregnant, which eventually killed her. I was in love with her, but now she's dead, and although a part of me died with her, the other part is left living with my parents and taking care of her baby. I swallowed.

"It's going good, is everything alright with you?"

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"To be honest, I am getting better. But you never really get over it."

I nodded. Drew and I were so close, he'd been like a part of me, and when you take something like that away, it never really gets better. Right after it happens, it's like this big hole opens up in your chest, and you can't find anything to fill it, no matter what you do. Rose had helped me through it, and little by little it had begun to close, but then she had disappeared too, and now the hole was back, and bigger than before. I wondered if someday I would get so many holes that I would just disappear. And then I wondered if Paisley felt the same way.

"I can tell when someone is lying about how they feel," she reminded me, but I wasn't quite ready to talk about Roselyn yet, not when I couldn't say her name without choking on every syllable.

"And besides, is there anyone that has it 'good' right now? Not many."

"No, I guess not," I concurred. It was true, there weren't many people in the majority of Panem's districts that were happy, but that didn't necessarily make me feel any better.

This conversation was becoming very depressing very quickly, I noticed, and I tried to think of something to lighten it up a bit, but all I could think of was,

"It's really good to see you again, Paisley."

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"It's nice to see you too. It's not until now I actually realized how much I needed to see a old friend's face," Paisley laughed, nodding. I was glad she didn't press me to talk about things I didn't want to talk about, and I granted her the same peace, not asking her to talk about Drew. No doubt she understood exactly what I was going through. Well, not exactly... she didn't cause Drew's death. You killed her, Trey, it was you.

"Treyson Cooper, what did you put in that sandwich, because they were amazing," Paisley said, conveniently distracting my thoughts.

"Just peanut butter and jelly," I said, laughing and shooting her one of those trademarked Trey smirks. Those didn't occur too often these days. "And you know, a little bit of Trey Cooper magic."

That was how things were supposed to go when you were sixteen, smiling and laughing with friends, thinking happy thoughts. If only it could last forever, I thought.

{ooc- yup ran out of relevant gifs hehe}

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"Not just magic... Trey Cooper magic? That's very special magic, you know."

I smirked as Paisley punched me lightly in the arm, but this wasn't the same smirk I used to put on, even though it might have looked the same from the outside. It wasn't the one that used to drive the girls crazy, back when I was a different boy and Drew and I would bathe in the attention they gave us. This smile was tired, like the kind you'd see on an old man who knew his time was just about up. And that was scary, in a way, because I wasn't old, even though I felt like it, and I still had a long way to go before my time was up.

At first, I hadn't wanted to live. It would have been so easy to just, you know, not live, if I knew there was a chance I could be with her in whatever place we go to after we're done on Earth. But then I'd taken another look at Rhett, my newborn son--our son--and I had known that I had to keep going, for his sake. He was all I had left of her now. I had caused her death by creating him, and I owed it to Rose to make sure he grew up safe, and happy, and healthy. She would have wanted that, and I would have done anything she wanted me to do. I would have tackled the moon just to see her smile. I still would.

If only Trey Cooper magic was good for something other than making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I poked a hole in the bread with my finger like I used to when I was a kid.

"Yeah, I guess it is," I answered, trying and probably failing to put some oomph into my voice. I peeled off my crust and began throwing little pieces out to the grass in front of us, deciding that the birds were probably hungrier than I was at this point. It wasn't wasting if they were going to eat it, right? "I wish it was specialer, though. You know?"

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