Ally Deveroux District 11 FINISHED

Ally Deveroux District 11 FINISHED Dec 17, 2013 19:19:40 GMT -5

Post by Anna Banana on Dec 17, 2013 19:19:40 GMT -5

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Ally · Deveroux
(noun) /pro-noun-ci-a-tion/
1. 16, Female, District 11, etc
2. Sexuality: Exploring
3. words or phrase

“My sister is the opposite of everything I am, I'm princesses and dresses, she's all...warriors and jeans.”

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[/size]I don't even know where to start with my story, I know I'm only sixteen but a lot can happen between when you come out of your mom's womb and now. I'll be honest with you and say I can't remember much about those early years, though how many of us actually can, I'd be amazed if you could. So where do I start, I think I can remember a little bit of the time when I was about four years old, so there is as good a place to start as any. Oh, and one other important detail, this one is pretty critical, I have a twin sister, she prefers to go by the name DJ, she's such a boy, sometimes it sickens me actually. I'll explain all that later though, suffice to say we don't always see eye to eye on things.

Okay, so four years old, I think that was around the time that I got my first doll. Well actually, both DJ and I both got a doll if I'm going to be specific, the difference being that I loved mine to pieces and DJ was ready to send hers off to the Games and have it killed. Ugh, it's so annoying when she does that, she actually "killed" my doll with hers, and we were supposed to be in an alliance when we played. I know what you're thinking though, what kind of a mother lets her daughters play Hunger Games with their dolls? That's an easy question to answer, our mom wanted us to bring the family honor and pride. Being poor was always the hardest on her and she wanted us to be her warriors.

I think that's why, if even by a little bit, mom likes DJ more. She kind of embraced the whole tribute thing better then I did, she was always a better worker and stronger then me. I was always the little princess that liked to wear dresses and play with dolls. Growing up with DJ, don't get me wrong I do love her, was always a pain in the neck because she was always so much better then me, at least where it counted in this family. I was the brain and the thinker, she was the worker and the warrior. Dad was happy about that though, when out popped two girls I don't think he was very happy, he was expecting at least one son to help him out around the farm.

DJ was like a gift from the gods for him, she was always way more involved with that things. I just remember that while I was growing up I was always the frail and delicate little flower. I was almost as weak as those bits of wheat out in the fields, bending and swaying at the slightest breeze, just barely resisting breaking. I'll admit it, I'm not the strongest girl around, I'd rather go and read it a book then go out in the fields and work. This isn't to say I won't work every now and again, I mean I sort of have to work, it's required by the Capitol, I just don't do as much as my twin or any of the other girl workers that are beside me.

It would be a lie to say it didn't frustrate me a little, I wish I was able to work like all of them, and not lose all my energy in like the first half hour of being out in the fields. It hasn't gotten better as I've gotten older either, I've retained the same muscle mass that I had when I was like ten. I'm more like that little china doll I got when I was four years old, delicate and easily broken, meant more to be dressed up in all the pretty colors and wear dresses. Yes, I'm saying I'm more like a trophy daughter, I'm not like DJ, I'm not a warrior princess, I'm a little china doll. It annoys me to know end that she likes to remind me of that though, always telling me that I need to be stronger or work harder. Trust me, I know I should be stronger and work harder, if it was as easy to do as it was to say I already would be.

My sister, I love her so much, but she can be such a pain in the ass. I know I shouldn't think that but she is, she's always been better then me, always making me feel unworthy and useless to my family. Despite their assurances that I wasn't useless I still felt this overwhelming feeling to be useful to them, to be more like my sister. I just wanted to be more than the girl who could dress up and look pretty, I wanted to be able to fight for the honor that mom and dad wanted, I wanted to be the son my father never got. It's a foolish desire I know, but to be honest I've never felt truly accepted because I wasn't what my family wanted. Maybe that's my own perfectionism coming out though, I just feel like I don't belong here, like they would have preferred to only have DJ.

Yes, I'm jealous of my sister, I want to be of some use to people, I want to be able to give something in return. It would be frustrating enough if I was an only child, to make it worse I had a perfect sister who did everything perfect. Just ask my diary, day in and day out I right page after page of everything she can do better then me. The athletic sister, the hard worker, the intelligent one...always better than me. What I wouldn't do to trade in one of the many dresses I own for an ounce of the talent she had. Maybe what I really needed was to get into the Games, that would show them wouldn't it, I could finally prove to all of them that I'm not useless, maybe I could make them proud that way.

For Axel[/blockquote][/font]

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