Decision-!-Making {Shrimp}

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ᕙʕ•ᴥ•ʔᕗ
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I go "Grawr!" =)

Decision-!-Making {Shrimp} Dec 30, 2010 20:41:33 GMT -5

Post by ᕙʕ•ᴥ•ʔᕗ on Dec 30, 2010 20:41:33 GMT -5

An industry change, just what Storm needed. Actually, that was exactly what he needed. He was starting to get fed up with the whole idea of farm life, ready to move on and live his own life. But responsibility would always keep him at the farm, tied to what his parents wished for. Thankfully for him, there was a change in the industry of district 5. He had wished that he could be there the moment it was announced, but instead heard it through the words of his friends. It was a disturbance to all people alike, but to Storm, he thought it would be a goodchange.

Change…was what he lived for. He had long since accepted that he was going to end up taking care of the animals as he grew older, holding the family business down. He still remembered his parents’ words: “One day, you’re going to take care of this place so that you can pass it down to your children. Don’t forget that we have great faith in you, and expect you to run it as soon as we’re incapable of doing so.” It really wasn’t so bad if it weren’t the fact that it meant two things: one, he was going to end up running the whole place which wasn’t too bad but still felt like a lot and two, he had to have children. Of course the second one seemed rather obvious, but to Storm, it felt like a requirement. It could easily be said that he had a slight problem with requirements.

But now some soul had found that there was oil in the ground and the drills had come out. Of course, the Wie family was left in peace, because their place was still surviving. But it would have been a long stretch to say that Storm was happy with his current state of living. Most of his friends had already made the transition to helping out with the oil drilling, and he felt rather left behind with working on the farm. In all honesty, he was ready to ditch his work and go help out his friends as soon as he could. But his parents would have it. Plus, the family was going through a certain struggle at the moment.

In the late night, he could hear his parents arguing over whether or not they felt it was better to move. Personally, Storm wanted to stay in District five for the sake that he had grown up there. The fact that he also would be relieved from farm duties was also enough to wish that they could stay and adapt to the new industry. He still listened to what his parents had to say, though.

His father’s argument was that they had to stick with the old way of life. The traditional man was hard pressed on leaving his home so he could keep the family business so to speak alive. Storm’s mother was just as traditional as his father but she preferred staying in District Five. Her argument was that they could continue life as it was in this district, that there was no point in leaving home. His father didn’t sound like he was going to step down though as he argued that the constant drilling left the conditions of the district much worse than it should be in order to raise the animals. Storm wanted to march in there and argue why not adapt, but he knew his parents enough that he was confident it would not work that way. So he decided to do something he never thought he would.

Sundra was his younger sister but by only two years so they were supposed to be close. “Supposed to be” being the key terms. The two of them were often at odds with each other, usually resulting in fights. In a sense, Storm missed the times when Sundra was the quiet one and he had his way. But that was him being stupidly selfish and controlling. He did like the fact that Sundra had more of a voice and was glad that she was finally speaking up for herself. It meant that all of the times he tried to get Sundra to be more open were paying off. It was just going to be an extremely sad time when he could no longer challenge her. It was bad to admit it, but it was one of the reasons why he even lasted that long in the family, doing what he had to do to help out.

And then they were finally all gathered in the same room. Everyone was in that room, including the two youngest sisters, Europa and Io. Storm always had a fondness for Europa but his attention was not on her this time; it was on Sundra. Because with her vote, they could either be staying in District Five or a great family argument could erupt. Europa and Io’s opinion would count for nothing, because they were too young. It was somewhat of a pity in Storm’s opinion, because he was sure that those two would vote to stay but it made sense. He hadn’t spoken a word yet, just stared at the candle sitting at the center of the table. In fact, no one really seemed to want to say anything. Finally, his dad decided to say something.

“I think we should move to District 10.”

Storm’s mother started to break into tears, as the words hung in the dark air. Storm was ready to present his opinion, but didn’t like the idea of coming off rude to his father. The last time he remotely tried to do that, he ended up in pain for at least a week. Even the thought of going against his father made him cringe. But his mother was there to support him and he was sure that Sundra would as well. He took a deep breath before he stood up and looked around the room.

“Well, I think we should stay.”

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Decision-!-Making {Shrimp} Dec 30, 2010 22:41:35 GMT -5

Post by shrimp on Dec 30, 2010 22:41:35 GMT -5

S U N D R A - A L E X A N D R I E H - W I E
LIVING/THINKING - ACB562
SPEAKING - 7C813B
FLASHBACK - DAD465
---
They had been arguing for a while - mother and father, that is. The arguments could be heard late at night, when they thought that everyone else was sleeping. They sounded worried; afraid of losing what they had been working so hard to gain for their entire lifetimes - stability. In a sense, moving to District 10 would cause something entirely new to happen - all of us have lived in 5 all our lives - this land is all that we've ever known. The animals would be disturbed too - where would all of their pastures go? Where would their secluded spots in the shade, or their favorite spot to take a nap go? Everything would be destroyed in an attempt to industrialize.

But what would happen if we were to stay? There's nowhere for the animals to be healthy anymore. Already, the smell of smog is forcing me to cough almost everyday in disgust. It's disgusting - being away from fresh air. I hate it. I guess I had taken that for granted though - never really appreciated it until the only thing that I smelled was pollution.

District 5 doesn't seem to be my home anymore. My home... It consists of rolling hills and pastures without oil drills. It consists of animals bleating, and people hard at work. Now, the few friends that I've made are moving out. The few people that I've ever known are already deciding to leave the District, heading towards District 10 faster than lightning. Slowly, the amount of children in my classes are decreasing, and are being replaced by others - ones that I don't know. It's forced me to stick with the remaining children. We've become banded together somewhat, unsure what to do amidst all of the new folks here. But eventually, they've gone and left as well.

I feel more alone than ever now. The skies are becoming gray with smog, the grass is becoming brown and dead. It's not good for us to live here anymore. We're not adjusted to the type of air that's here, neither are the animals. Soon, we'll die early deaths, ones that aren't helped by the Hunger Games. Just one thought about Io and Europa getting respiratory diseases makes me feel that we simply need to move before it's too late. That somehow, leaving here will benefit them, even though it's all they've ever known. I have to get them out. We have to get them out.

And now we're here. We've gathered in the living room this night; darkness surrounding us except for the lone candle in the middle of the coffee table. The air feels deadly almost. As if one word will cause chaos to begin. Io's sitting on my lap, playing with my hair absentmindedly. Europa's sitting beside the couch, her slightly gaunt face illuminated by the proximity of the flickering candle.

Europa looks tired, as if the air itself has begun to drain the life out of her. But I'm sure she would want to stay - she's always had that same excited energy as Storm, and I'm sure that both of them would rather adapt to our new lifestyle than move on. But... what would that involve? Selling all of the animals for a dirt cheap price? Selling our land just to make ends meet? It doesn't sound like something that my father or I would enjoy.

I've always known that father liked Storm best - he was the only male after all. He'd be the one to carry on the Wie name, to run the farm when my father would finally move on. But, secretly, I feel like he thinks that I wouldn't be that bad at it either. I feel like I've learned more in some categories than Storm - riding a horse, for example. I've worked with the chickens and the sheep for longer than I can remember. I could run the farm if all else failed. Perhaps that's what I was raised to do - be second best. Plan B.

Io snuggles closer to me, while Europa subconsciously moves next to Storm. The two of us have always had this kind of separation, Europa and I. She seemed content to follow our brother's footsteps, joining in with him as our sibling rivalry began to drive us apart, Storm and I that is. I assume that it all started as I began to gain a voice, to argue with him on occasion, wanting to see my thoughts be heard, my actions be performed, instead of his.

Io has seemed to be a combination of the two oldest children. She's loud like Storm, determined like both of us. But I feel that she likes me best for some reason. I don't see why though - mother decided to pay more attention to the youngest daughter, but instead accidentally drove her towards me instead. Io seems to treat me more like a mother than her actual mother herself, something that I'm sure that drives a stake through my mother's heart everyday.

Eventually, the silence becomes unnerving to all, even my father, as he finally gets the nerve to start his opening statement. And with that, the first gauntlet is thrown.

“I think we should move to District 10.”

8 words. That's all it takes to start this fiasco. Mother begins to breakdown, quietly sobbing into her lap. I quickly gesture for Io to talk to mommy, to comfort her, and she does. I guess having her hair played with can comfort my mother as well. Slowly, the sobs begin to slow in frequency, but they're still audible against the silence that has once again drifted into the room.

We sit there, not sure who is going to speak next. But then I hear another voice, one that seems determined to speak his mind. Storm.

“Well, I think we should stay.”

6 words. Less word's than my father, but they're going to drag this conversation into a whole different direction. Perhaps my father will become angry that his own son is defying his wishes. Maybe he will get so mad that he throws out a fist. But that hardly happens anymore - wouldn't he want to keep his anger in check? He's trying, but I can see a little vein throbbing in his forehead, showing the annoyance that my father is feeling from being with somebody who has a different opinion than him. But before everything goes haywire, Europa speaks. Of course, nothing is going to be gained from her talking, but she's like Storm. She wants to be heard.

"I don't want to move. Why can't we stay here? We.. we cou-"

"That's enough Europa."

My mother's voice returns to her. Sharp and forboding, it seems to warn my sister not to speak. This is a serious situation, and our parents will not have ones that should not have a say at this point sway the decision. Europa falls silent, and we're back to Square 1. I can tell that I'm the only other one whose opinion will actually matter at this point - I'm old enough to sway the vote. I'm old enough to save the two girls. I'm old enough.

"We should go."

3 words.

Let's hope it's enough to change something around here.

[/blockquote]

Last Edit: Nov 30, 2011 21:50:47 GMT -5 by shrimp

ᕙʕ•ᴥ•ʔᕗ
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I go "Grawr!" =)

Decision-!-Making {Shrimp} Dec 31, 2010 15:51:43 GMT -5

Post by ᕙʕ•ᴥ•ʔᕗ on Dec 31, 2010 15:51:43 GMT -5

He should have guessed, he should have known. Of course Europa was going to try to say something; she was just endearing in that sense. When his mother quieted Europa, Storm understood the gravity of the situation and knew Europa shouldn’t have spoken up. Yet he clenched his hands into fists at the way his mother was speaking to Europa. Shouldn’t she know that everyone in the family had a say? And the least she could have done was not be as stern to his sister. Europa was still young and didn’t truly understand. All she wanted was to say what she thought which Storm was pretty damn proud of. But he kept his mouth shut so as to not provoke any of his parents. He could see that his little statement had caused his father to barely contain himself.

Storm shouldn’t have spoken up. Storm shouldn’t have gone against his father. Storm should know his responsibilities to the family. Storm didn’t know what his father was thinking but he was sure they were along those lines. Storm was supposed to be the good boy who listened to his parents because they were “telling him everything he needed to know.” So now he had a voice and it was causing more commotion than it should have. Storm could feel his head tighten as the thoughts kept pounding in his head.

“We should go.”

Wh—what? She what? Gaping at his sister, Storm tried to comprehend what was just said. Sundra…wanted to go? There was no reason, just a simple statement. He had to give her credit for speaking up, but what she said meant that she was going to be seeing an angry Storm for a long time. Well, maybe not, but as his head started to pound, he really wasn’t up to this. Why should they go? And would they listen to Sundra?

His eyes wandered around the room, trying to observe the reactions. His father looked at Sundra approvingly, obviously declaring Sundra his favourite for the time being. Of course Storm didn’t mind that fact, but he didn’t like the reason why his father was so approving. No, this wasn’t supposed to happen. They were supposed to agree with staying, that it would be the best idea for the family. And now Sundra decided that it would be a better idea to split the family? That it was better that they left? Storm knew it was better to challenge Sundra to speak up, but it was for daily matters, not life-changing matters like this.

He placed a hand on Europa’s shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze. He felt bad for her being in this situation, but there was only so much that she could do. Obviously her voice wasn’t going to important right now. The least Storm could do was offer some conciliation. Only problem was he wasn’t feeling that great about the whole thing either. To stand up and say what he wanted only to be shot down by his younger sister? It was almost humiliating.

Io, who had been sitting on Sundra’s lap, was now with their mother, probably consoling the poor woman. Storm never had more care for the carefree girl, but she supposed that she was an asset with her heart on the right intentions. There was no doubt that Sundra had sent the little girl to go console their mother at this time, but Storm still saw Io as the little girl who was trying to help out all the time. Storm sighed at Io, never understanding what was going on in that little girl’s mind.

Dammit, it shouldn’t have been happening this way. And why does my head keep pounding? Storm had his head in his hands as he could not believe what was happening. He was usually able to persuade his parents with just his opinion, but now it seemed like they were going to be a headlock about this and his father was going to be super pissed and his mother wouldn’t stop crying and the young ones were going to feel the repercussions and—Storm didn’t know what else to do as he stood back up and walked away.

It was too much to take in, too much for one simple issue that should have been easily solved. Storm clenched his head as he marched out of the house and walked aimlessly. He needed to get away, to think clearly, to be away from the pro-move feelings. If he could cry, he would but that would just be stupid of him. It shouldn’t be something to cry about, but he sure wasn’t thinking happy thoughts at the moment.

“Damn it, Sundra! Why now? Why did you have to develop a f***ing opinion now?”

Storm was well aware that Sundra wasn’t there to hear his words; she was probably still back at home trying to console everyone while Storm raged outside. But it felt oh so good to just shout at the night air. He didn’t think it was possible to be so pissed, but he wanted to get out so badly that there was no other option. The family was going to stay; there was no doubt about it. He just needed to find a way to get his family convinced that this was the right place to be, that there was no point in leaving. Yes…he just needed to convince them. But how? He was outside and everyone else was back inside. It wasn’t like he was going to be able to convince them that way. It’s got to be Sundra. I’ve got to find a way to convince her that we should stay. That’s the key. If only she’ll listen to me now. Whatever happened to the days when she was quiet? Damn, life was a lot easier back then.

Last Edit: Dec 31, 2010 18:48:03 GMT -5 by ᕙʕ•ᴥ•ʔᕗ

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Decision-!-Making {Shrimp} Dec 31, 2010 19:22:14 GMT -5

Post by shrimp on Dec 31, 2010 19:22:14 GMT -5

S U N D R A - A L E X A N D R I E H - W I E
LIVING/THINKING - ACB562
SPEAKING - 7C813B
FLASHBACK - DAD465
---
The words were relatively soft, but against the silence that had previously occupied the space, it was obvious that it was easily heard. After speaking my head simply returned to its previous position; staring down at my thumbs, which were absentmindedly playing with the garnet necklace that I had always worn. I had taken it off before this entire episode, and now I simply watched the soft candlelight reflect off of the red gem. Subtle red light danced on my face, and I could tell that Io noticed too; entranced by the thing.

I stop playing with the jewel long enough to look upwards, seeing my family's reaction. My mother and Storm (and Europa as well) seemed to gape at me, not understanding why I was so against us staying. Io wasn't paying attention - she seemed disappointed that the gem had stopped sparkling against the light. But it was my father's reaction which was most surprising to me. It was a slight smirk, his emotion showing that he approved of my view on things.

My father has only given me this smile once before. It was when I was younger - about 8 years old or so. He had been trying to teach me how to ride a horse. However, he was never the best at explanations, and I still had no clue on how to mount the animal, not to mention how to ride it. But I had to find a way to get him to approve of my actions, so I simply climbed on in the way that I assumed was correct. His expression hadn't changed at all when I looked at him again, so I assumed that it was somewhat right.

But I wanted to make him smile, just once. I had seen the way he looked at Storm - proud that he was going to take over the farm. I wanted that same exact expression on his face, just so I could feel as accomplished as my older brother. I mean, he got the praise; I was always in the background, never really noticed. So I whipped the reins a tiny bit, and the horse began to walk. Some time or another, I had seen my father steering the horse away from the house, so I pulled the reins to the right, and the horse went in the opposite direction. Yes, this was correct, I thought as I directed the horse back and forth, back and forth. Apparently, my father hadn't told me how to steer, because his expression was rather shocked. But then he smiled, and told me to get down.

Back then, I had felt a warmth run through my veins, adrenaline and pride causing me to smile for the rest of the day. But for some reason, his smile now didn't make me happy at all. Instead, I felt miserable. Why had I voiced my opinion? I'm only going to make this worse. I shouldn't have done this - now my father is going to feel more powerful, and maybe he'll even take it out on Storm. After all, he doesn't really like it when others don't agree with him. He gets angry really easily, and yells a lot.

As if the chaos that's unraveling is corresponding with my thoughts, Storm suddenly gets up and just... Leaves. He'll probably be back soon, but I just feel goddamn awful about the whole thing. Slowly, I drop the necklace into Io's hand. She's very excited about holding the thing, and immediately puts it close to the light, letting the red light shine on her face. Soft giggles are overheard as I start to walk after him, silently closing the door behind me. I've only traveled a few feet when I hear the door open, and I look around to see Europa standing there.

"No. This is my fault, I've got to handle it."

"But I want to help him to-"

"Europa, just go inside for now, please?"

I swear, I... We have not been able to raise that child correctly, for she simply glares at me, screams something unintelligible (something involving "I hate you, Storm's better than you are."), and walks back into the house, slamming the door as she disappears from view. I simply sigh, and attempt to catch up to the figure, who's disappearing from my view relatively quickly. I do feel like crying though - I've made a mess of things, and I've probably alienated two of my siblings from me for a long time.

In some ways, Europa's right - Storm is better than me. He's funnier, happier, able to make the younger ones laugh. I just tell them to eat their breakfast, or help them with simple chores. They like him better, I'm pretty sure about that. Storm's always been the... Fun parent, while I'm the dull, boring one. Someone has to be responsible though, and if I acted the same as Storm... How would we function? That was harsh... Storm is responsible, but... Sometimes I just feel like I have so much fucking pressure on me to be the disciplinary that... It just angers me.

He's closer now. The slight breeze that's surrounding the two of us has made me shiver slightly, wishing that I was just back at home by the candlelight, but I have to apologize, or... Or something. But then I hear an outburst. It's Storm again, and he sounds... Frustrated, angry. Betrayed.

“Damn it, Sundra! Why now? Why did you have to develop a f***ing opinion now?”

It hurts - burns right through my heart. I caused all of this after all. It's my fault that he's like this now. It's my fault that I'm causing the family to be in turmoil. All because I've gained, as Storm said it, a fucking opinion. Who's fault is that? Trace? Well, perhaps he was the catalyst, but I can hardly blame a dead tribute for my family's problems.

Storm's mad right now, or something of the sort. But still, the words seem to slice at me, just like how Ocean Jones' spear slashed at Trace's body (the bitch, at least she died moments later). It's painful, and at this point, I'm pretty sure that emotional pain hurts more than physical. After all, haven't I been wreaked with emotional pain for the past... What, weeks? Months? Days? I don't even know anymore - the days seem to blur nowadays into one long and endless time period.

I simply turn, and walk away, not caring that my feet crunch against gravel, or that there are soft sobs that periodically appear at my throat. If he hears, so be it.

I just want to go home. But there is no home anymore.

[/blockquote]

Last Edit: Nov 30, 2011 21:51:06 GMT -5 by shrimp

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I go "Grawr!" =)

Decision-!-Making {Shrimp} Dec 31, 2010 20:24:43 GMT -5

Post by ᕙʕ•ᴥ•ʔᕗ on Dec 31, 2010 20:24:43 GMT -5

It was quiet after his outburst as Storm just stood there. He was wrapped up in his own thoughts and tried to block out the world, but one noise seemed to grab his attention. Not daring to lookup, he waited and waited. Had someone heard him? Was it his father? Mother? Europa? …Sundra? Storm forced himself to turn around, to find out who it was who had made that noise.

She looks so much like Mother now. How—I—What…what did she hear? God, please tell me that she didn’t hear what I said. She wasn’t supposed to hear those words!

[/i] Storm picked up his pace, hoping to catch up to his sister. He really did notice how much Sundra now looked like their mother; in fact, she was often the mother while the two raised their younger siblings. Storm always tried to make the girls’ lives fun, to let them live a little. Sundra was the one who kept them both in check which was probably why the younger Io was so attached to her. Europa was [/color]definitely more like Storm, though, willing to live a little in the situation they were in.

The sobs were easier to hear as Storm was closer and closer to Sundra. He hadn’t meant—she wasn’t supposed to have heard that. Storm had just been in a rage and it seemed easiest to blame her. She was the one decided to counter his opinion so it was only natural for Storm to feel like it was necessary to lash out at his younger sister. He knew it was wrong, though; he should have pinned it on his father. His father who was the strict man of the household was the reason why Storm was so pissed off. His father whose smiles were always that of approval but not love. He loved his father, but there were just times when he was fed up with the old man, this time being one of them.

“Sundra…Sundra!” Storm was breathing heavily as he finally caught up to Sundra. He made sure to keep pace with her on the occasion that she would continue moving or move faster. “Listen!” Storm reached to grab her shoulder and spin her around, neglecting the amount of force that he had used. He shouldn’t have done that; he shouldn’t have been so forceful. Storm pulled back his hand as quickly as he could as his eyes searched the floor for something to say. He had to apologise to her, tell her that he didn’t really mean what he had said. And yet it just wasn’t slipping out of his mouth like he wanted it to.

If there was a wall he could punch, he would have done it. Whatever negative feelings he had been feeling for his father had been shifted to himself. During such a tense time, he was doing all the wrong things to all the wrong people. He shouldn’t have shouted like that, even if he thought that no one would hear it. He shouldn’t have forcefully grabbed Sundra so she could listen to the words that weren’t coming out of his mouth. He was just being stupid. Stupid and desparate.

“Listen. What…what I said back there…I didn’t mean it. I was just mad and angry at what you said and—Why did you say that? Why do you think we should move? Why, Sundra, why?!” Storm was staring directly into his younger sister’s eyes, wondering what was going on in that brain of hers.

Before Storm could let her answer, he turned away and clenched his fists to his head. There it was again. What was supposed to be an apology turned into another attack and—“DAMMIT! This wasn’t how this shit was supposed to happen! This is so fucked up.” It took Storm some time before he turned back to Sundra, his left hand rubbing his forehead. He was such a fucking idiot.

“Sor—I’m sorry. I’m just…pissed at this whole thing. I shouldn’t have said any of those things, and…damn, I’m so sorry.” He couldn’t think clearly as he tried to figure out how this was going to end. He was sure that he had hurt Sundra a lot; whether it was from the start or if it had kept building up was something Storm did not know. “I…I don’t want to go. I want to stay here. Is that…is that really too much to ask for?”[/b]

Storm was no longer talking to Sundra but rather musing to himself. What was so wrong about him wanting to stay? It should have…it shouldn’t have been such a struggle to say that. Yet instead he found himself blowing up for stupid reasons. Ugh, I probably need to apologise to Sundra again. Damn, I really have to stop doing this to her. It’s not her fault…and yet I keep shouting at her. How she must hate me right now. I don’t blame her, either. Fuck, I really messed it up this time, didn’t I?[/color][/size][/blockquote][/justify]

^credit to Shrimp

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Decision-!-Making {Shrimp} Dec 31, 2010 22:10:30 GMT -5

Post by shrimp on Dec 31, 2010 22:10:30 GMT -5

S U N D R A - A L E X A N D R I E H - W I E
LIVING/THINKING - ACB562
SPEAKING - 7C813B
FLASHBACK - DAD465
---
Gravel crunches beneath my shoes as I slowly return to the barely lit home. A tear or two runs down my cheek, but I don't notice it as I just try to walk forwards, one step at a time. It's getting to be somewhat difficult however, for the tears are blurring up my vision, and I trip, almost spiraling towards the ground. Luckily, I'm able to right myself, but not before straining a muscle somewhere in my leg - too much pressure was applied to it as I stumbled along the dirt road.

I softly curse a bit, rubbing my leg as I make my way home. I'm a good twenty or so yards from the yard when I hear another voice. It's Storm again - I guess he must have noticed that I was there. I don't want to talk to him right now. I just want to go home, and cry my eyes out. I should have just stayed quiet. I should have just let us stay here, instead of forcing my two siblings to hate me and my father to unjustly approve of me. I feel horrible about the whole thing, just like always. Sundra Wie, feeling bad about everything that happens to everyone, that's me-

Suddenly, I'm turned around with such force that I almost lose my balance again, but this time it's much easier to stop the inertia that's built up from Storm "twirling" me. Well, clearly twirling wouldn't be the right word in this case, but I digress. Now he... He wants me to listen to him? He's the one who stormed out in the first place, no pun intended. Okay, fine. What the hell does my brother want to tell his sister, who he wished didn't have a fucking opinion, hmm?

Rage is the one thing that I never seem to be short of these days. My blood is boiling at this point. I'm long gone from sadness at this point. I just feel so frustrated and angry that I want to lash out at him, to show him what it feels like to have to hear something like that. To hear that your opinion shouldn't matter. That you should be worthless. Sure, I was shocked and extremely upset before, but my moods change quickly. Now, a part of me wants to cry into my pillow, and another part wants to punch my brother in the face; or at least smack him.

“Listen. What…what I said back there…I didn’t mean it. I was just mad and angry at what you said and—Why did you say that? Why do you think we should move? Why, Sundra, why?!”

Yes, definitely smack him. He has... no right to yell at me like this. I mean, I understand that he's just as frustrated as I am, but I don't want to listen to him berating me even further than his stalking out of the house has, that Europa's angry outburst at me has, that his own comment about me has. I don't want to be the scapegoat in this situation - it's not my fault. I'm just trying to save them, all of them. The animals, mother and father and our healths. Our lifestyle. You know, all of that is at risk right now, and I simply don't understand why he won't face that!

This is fucked up Storm, it really is.

I do feel a little better after he apologizes, but my emotions are still running relatively high, and I really don't know whether to break down or to just scream in aggravation. I've just been under so much confusion and stress lately that I clearly don't know what to do anymore. I mean, Trace is dead, Trace has given me his horse, the District industries are changing, we might move, and everybody is yelling at me for things that I really can't control.

“I…I don’t want to go. I want to stay here. Is that…is that really too much to ask for?”

Is that too much to ask for? Of course not - I don't want to leave either. But we have to, don't we? Don't we have to get out of here for our health? For the animals' sake? Who else is going to take care of them? All of them will be slaughtered - the chickens will be scrawny, measly things for the Capitolites. The cows will become beef instantly, and even the horses may be turned into glue, which I really don't want to happen. The thought of Cain being slaughtered is just horrible - he's really the only thing that reminds me of Trace at this point.

There's too many things going on in my head at this point, and I can't hold it in. I just... can't...

"You think I want to leave? Do you? Do you assume that I'm perfectly content with just packing everything up and leaving the only district I've ever even known? Is this supposed to be easy for me to decide? To simply walk away from the pastures, which are barely even pastures anymore but STILL."

I pause for a bit, the anger slowly ebbing away, being replaced by sadness. Everything that's happened to me in the past few weeks is just catching up to me. Witnessing the murder of that Peacekeeper by that Clove Goodshot. That rendezvous with Trace. His death, this move, everything's just overflowing and I'm sobbing at this point.

"You... have no fucking idea about how... About how hard it's been for me these past few weeks. Trace is dead, that fricking Peacekeeper is dead, Europa hates me, and if you're going to go and blame everything on my decision, then just... Just get out of my face."

The tears flow freely at this point, and I make it a point to simply turn away and run towards the house, tripping again. Eventually, I get inside the door and before I know it, I'm lying on my bed again, and the tears won't stop.

They probably never will.

[/blockquote]

Last Edit: Nov 30, 2011 21:51:19 GMT -5 by shrimp

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Decision-!-Making {Shrimp} Jan 1, 2011 0:51:14 GMT -5

Post by ᕙʕ•ᴥ•ʔᕗ on Jan 1, 2011 0:51:14 GMT -5

Stunned. That was the only thing Storm was as he watched his sister respond. She…I…what? It really was odd for her to react this way and the way she was just yelling—it was something different. Which Storm supposed wasn’t that bad, but it was so strange. He must have looked so stupid as his expression failed to change from the gaping expression. He half expected Sundra to chide him for looking an idiot, but it never came. Instead, she kept clarifying everything, using words that Storm never would have thought Sundra would use at all. It was almost like she was no longer the quiet, innocent sister, Storm could rely on. She was becoming her own purpose, choosing her own way of life. It was kind of sad.

Then Sundra decided to throw everything at Storm in a flurry, giving him no chance to speak up. So that’s what it feels like to be hushed by a sibling. Jeez, I never thought it would actually feel like this. But word after word was launched at Storm and he couldn’t dodge them. He remembered Trace, that damn boy who didn’t know what was good for him. Maybe it was just Storm feeling rather overprotective, but he knew that Trace would do nothing good for his sister and he was right. Fell for that stupid tribute from that other district. Hurt Sundra the way no boy should have. They didn’t even have an established relationship and yet he still had an impact on Sundra like no other. Damn boy.

The Peacekeeper thing was not something Storm was aware of, a story Sundra was going to have to tell him some other time when the two were not this tense. It must have been bad if she was bringing it up now, but Storm was not going to pursue it. Not yet, anyway. They had other matters to worry about and maybe…well, maybe it would be a good idea to move. Obviously everything going on here wasn’t helping Sundra any bit. And he was sure that Europa didn’t hate Sundra. Maybe if Europa was mad then she would say that she did, but Storm knew Europa and she would not have meant it if she had said it. She was just…young.

“Sundra…” But it didn’t matter; she was already storming back into the house. Storm wasn’t blaming her—well okay, maybe he was. But it wasn’t intentional and it was just a—Storm was losing an internal battle as well. Feeling rather dejected, Storm knew the only right thing to do was collect himself before he started talking to Sundra again. He really did feel bad, but he just couldn’t say it. The only way he communicated was through jokes and funny statements, nothing close to the serious nature that would be more appropriate at the time.

He stumbled the last yards to the house, still beating himself up for being such an idiot. He wondered how long it would take before he and Sundra could be back on good terms, before he realised that he should at the very least apologise. Which he did before but obviously there was something he said that made her blow up again. He hated that night.

As Storm entered the house, he saw that Europa was sitting near the door. He looked at her and gave her a small smile before patting her head. The poor girl looked like she was on the brink of tears as well, and Storm couldn’t help but feel responsible. He knew that his leaving the house abruptly didn’t help the delicate situation, and obviously something must have happened after he left if Sundra was convinced that Europa hated her. “Where did she go?”

Europa pointed in the direction of Sundra’s room. Storm gave her another pat. “Thanks. Go get some sleep. You look like you need some right now.” But Europa held on to his hand.

“Storm, I…I said that..I hate her. I didn’t mean it, though! I was just mad at her for treating me like a little kid and—“ Europa stopped as Storm squeezed her hand. It was rather sad how both of them were in the same situation and yet Storm couldn’t figure out a way to console Europa. He was usually good at that type of stuff, making someone feel better when they were feeling low. But he just didn’t know what to do in this case.

“It’s okay, Europa. I know.”

“Could you tell her, though? Please? I feel really bad and…I want to say I’m sorry, but she doesn’t look happy.”

[/i]

Storm nodded as he looked ahead. “Yeah, I’ll do that.” Europa made a little squeak that Storm could only assume was a “thank you.” He continued forward, trying to figure out what his game plan was. He knew he had to tread the waters lightly, but after everything that had happened, it seemed rather difficult to imagine that still happening. No matter though; he was [/color]going to figure something out. He always did.

Softly knocking on the doorframe, Storm leaned his head against the wall. He felt so bad, and he really was considering moving for Sundra’s sake. He was conflicted with his own wants though. Who knew moving could be so difficult?

"Sundra? Can I come in?"[/size][/blockquote]

^credit to Shrimp

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Decision-!-Making {Shrimp} Jan 16, 2011 1:03:47 GMT -5

Post by shrimp on Jan 16, 2011 1:03:47 GMT -5

sundra alexandrieh wie
MY ACTIONS - ACB562 / MY WORDS - 7C813B
MY MEMORIES - DAD465

[/blockquote]

Tears are the only thing that seeps into the pillow that my face is smashed into, accompanied by a large number of choked sobs that seem like they aren't going to stop for ages. Sometimes, having a good cry is enough to make one feel slightly better, but this time, I don't think it's going to help. Poor little Sundra Wie, all alone in her little, over dramatic world of her's. I really am over dramatic - I tend to blow up about stuff too often, which is probably why Europa hates me, and why Storm screamed to the heavens, wondering why the hell I even bother to speak nowadays.

Perhaps having all of that stress did me some good. Not all of it however, was beneficial. But some things must have helped me become the person that I am today - slightly responsible, slightly argumentative, so on and so on. However, when one is simply forced to have all of those emotions and memories bottled up inside, then one becomes me. A frazzled teenager who ends up splitting her whole damn family apart because of her own freaking opinions. Stupid Sundra.

You don't even deserve to be this upset now. You're too damn stupid for that. Why this makes sense, I don't really know. But insulting myself seems to either make me feel better, or much worse. I'm not sure which one, but I feel the need to continue. You're a dumb ass who falls for the first person with testosterone that they meet, and not only are you such a hopeless romantic, but you didn't even go and do the right thing when it came to helping them find that poor Peacekeeper's body! Sure, he wasn't the nicest of guys, but still; he didn't deserve to be murdered, and you let that happen.

You disgust me, you little wimp.

Sighing, I curl up into a ball, hugging the slightly damp pillow, my head resting on its soft surface. I stare out the window, watching as the breeze makes little bit of grey colored snow (smog is disgusting) drift to and fro, relocating, just like what we should be doing. We need to move for our own safety. I mean, our family isn't used to such harsh air conditions, so wouldn't we get sick more easily? Wouldn't our bodies be more frail if we decided to work with the oil? All in all, it would probably be best to stick with what you know.

That's probably what the Peacekeeper was doing before he was murdered - sticking to what he knew. One boy and three girls walking home to him probably meant something much darker than the facade that he pictured in front of him. Perhaps he assumed that we were prostitutes, or we were having a rather large orgy. And then, Clove killed him, simply because he had the nerve to spit on her. Sure, that was insulting, but she just went... haywire.

[/color]

"I will NOT put up with your crap like everyone else, I WILL take your butt down, and I WILL kill you. It's a shame that you won't live to apologize to that little girl over there."

I assume that the girl eventually moved, or was arrested by Peacekeepers, because I never saw her again. Wait, what was that? A knocking noise. Surprised, I sit up, beginning to stand on my bed, clutching my pillow, when I hear a voice. I guess I must have become paranoid from the memory, because I shriek for a second and back up, slipping on the smooth sheets and falling off the bed. Instantly, my left ankle screams in pain from the collision, and it's hard for me not to whimper in pain as I slowly attempt to stand.

Placing any pressure on the ankle is impossible - it screams with searing pain any time it even lightly brushes the floor. A tear or two forms as I slowly limp across the floor, eventually falling flat on my face from the pain. This really sucks. I probably broke it or something. Great, clumsy girl. Now who's going to go and help with the milking, the egg collecting? You're careless. Sobbing again (quietly this time), I crawl towards the door, using the handle to balance myself as I end up wobbling on one leg, opening the door a crack.

"... What, Storm?" My voice is hoarse from the pain I'm feeling, and from the pain that he already has dealt me. My gaze shifts downwards, finally resting to be looking at the floor. Hair falls in front of my eyes, but I don't brush it away. Instead, my gaze returns to the boy's eyes, waiting to hear what he wants to talk about now. [/size][/blockquote][/justify]

Last Edit: Jan 16, 2011 1:07:31 GMT -5 by shrimp

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Decision-!-Making {Shrimp} Jan 29, 2011 19:41:27 GMT -5

Post by ᕙʕ•ᴥ•ʔᕗ on Jan 29, 2011 19:41:27 GMT -5

There was an odd sense of tension when Storm did not hear an immediate reply. Of course, it might have taken Sundra some time to answer, but at least she could have answered with her voice. Just a simple “Yes?” or “Come in” would have been enough for Storm, but there was no soft voice to answer him and it made him sad. It could only mean that Sundra was mad at him and trying to avoid him as much as possible. As he turned around so that his back was facing the wall, he leaned against the wall and let out a long sigh. Arguments weren’t really that rare for the two of them, but on a matter as serious as that? Storm hated that night.

Thinking that all was over or at least in a standstill, Storm jumped suddenly when he heard a thud from the other side of the door. “Sundra!” Storm couldn’t just run in though; they had long since established that neither of them would enter the other’s room unless it was an emergency. But the thud might have been serious as Storm considered on whether it was worth it or not. Sundra was already pissed at him; it wouldn’t do any good if he decided to run in there without her expressed permission.

“Are…are you alright?” Storm was ready to beat himself up for asking such a stupid question. He didn’t even have any confidence when questioning Sundra, leaving him to feel like a complete idiot. He was worried, but there was just too much on his mind to show his worry for her. Thankfully, he could hear some steps approach the door, only meaning that Sundra had not been knocked unconscious by a fall or anything random like that. It didn’t help with the situation, though.

"... What, Storm?" The door was opened just a mere crack, but it was enough for Storm to see his sister on the other side. It wasn’t until her eyes moved back towards his that Storm cringed again. If there was anything he hated, it was Sundra giving him such a frightening glare. It wasn’t that she was incapable of doing it; Storm just never saw her be so menacing when it came to any sibling matter. He supposed this was much more than that, though.

Storm’s mind went through the different matters he needed to address. First there was that apology, second was what they were going to do in terms of relocating, and third was what that sound was. Storm knew that it was probably his younger sister, but he didn’t feel like being overprotective quite yet. It wasn’t something he liked to show, but he really did show concern for his younger sisters; he just chose to do it in a more discreet manner. But as to what to say next, he had no clue. What was supposed to be the most appropriate way to ask his questions? And would Sundra refuse to talk to him before he received all the answers he wanted?

“I’m sorry,” Storm said quietly as he looked into his sister’s eyes. He didn’t know if his sister would take it kindly, but it was always worth a try. “I didn’t mean to get all riled up over everything. I should have…should have listened to what everyone had to say before I left the house. It wasn’t fair for you or anyone else in the family.” Storm took in a big breath before continuing. “Europa wanted to say she was sorry too. I don’t know what exactly happened, but she asked me to say ‘Sorry’ for her.”

[/b]

“Could we…could we talk about the situation? I think it’s clear that the decision really does rest[/color] between the two of us and…I just want this to be over. If that’s alright with you.”[/b][/color][/size][/blockquote]

^credit to Shrimp

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