Celena Phillips D3 Finished!

[Spesh]

Thinking/Living: F535AA
Speaking: FF00FF

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If one calls the name Celena
she would be the one to answer
At the age of sixteen seventeen
Residing in the district of three
Attracted to both men andwomen is she

≈My Body Reads≈

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Beauty is an opinion, but the opinion of most would be the Celena Phillips is beautiful. Thin legs extending high off the ground let her stand at the height of 5'8". The end of her legs lead into her pelvis, which then in turn lead to a stomach that people believe would belong to a girl that suffers from anorexia or bulimia. After her body an average sized neck comes followed by a head.

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are

Layered waves of a deep mahogany flow to the center of her back. Slight curls leap down in front of her straight shoulders. A thin layer of dust settles on her hair most of the time for the airborne pollution in the third district. Covering the left side of her head with her waves is of utmost importance to Celena due to her left ear missing its top third.

When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see

Small lobes are visible through a mist of brown hair. Hoops of fake gold fit through the holes, glistening through a waterfall of brown. Her right ear is not much a cause of attention, but the one on the left causes a good amount of staring. The cause of this happened during her time in first grade while her class visiting a factory on a school trip, she slipped and fell, but was not spared of injury. A blade clipped her cheek as she was falling, making a scar from her lip all the way up to her ear, which had the top third cut off. Hair covers the ear most of the time, but showing it is unavoidable when she is forced to put her hair by her mother.

And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

A layer of dust sets the outline of the think red scar on the girls olive skin. Her scar is the main focus of her face instead of her stunning features. Around a centimeter think the scar appears, leaving a red gap between the two parts of olive skin. The scar, being the prominent thing on her face takes away from what is probably the most beautiful one,

Her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining

A color between pale emerald and gray pierces through anyone who looks into them. Elongated eyelashes emit from the top and bottom throughout the eyes that take the shapes of almonds. With just slight amounts of make up Celena's eyes shine brighter than the stars in the night sky.

If perfect is what you're searching for
Then just stay the same

As one looks up from the mouth one would notice a nose of slight imperfection. Hooking at the bottom most tip sets up for the slight bump farther up the bridge. No makeup could ever hide this "monstrosity". No matter what Celena does, the attention on her never is for her perfections, it is always for the opposite... her imperfections.

And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile

Two light pink lips emerge from the cheeks of Celena. The top curves at such and angle so that its highest point leads towards the nose, while the lower one curves to the chin. Concealed by the lips are a set of white teeth. A pair of white teeth, larger than the rest, sit on top of two smaller ones, almost in the manner of a chipmunk's teeth.

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Voluptuous would be a way to describe Celena Phillips' body. An hourglass is the shape of her body, an hourglass that always tries to dress herself well. Due to money set backs though, this does not happen most all of the time. Showing skin is not a concern of Celena's, showing her legs is something that she loves to do by wearing shorts and a close fitting t-shirt most of the time, except when she is working at the factory. To increase the way her legs look, a pair of high heels adorns her feet in all situations that they are allowed in. Though she looks low rent in some ways, she dresses in a way to prevent people from looking at her face full of imperfections.

The way you are
The way you are
Girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

≈My Past Reads ≈

Celena spent her whole life without her biological dad, not because he died or anything, just because he abandoned Celena and her mom. See, her dad left before she was born. Actually, her dad was gone before Celena's mom even knew that she was pregnant. One could say that he did not know, but he did, he left because he did not want to be pinned down to a women all of his life, that was just not who he was. He left Celena's mom without any cash, pregnant and not able to work.

Celena's mom went about her business, not knowing she was pregnant for about two months, then the signs started showing up. She was eating more, needing to sit down more, and her belly grew larger. Her boss noticed her lessening productivity, and fired her before she could say anything. Again, a deserted mother with an unborn child, now with no source of income, no source of food. No way to support herself, nor her child.

Months of struggling followed Celena's mom getting fired, she was barely able to eat enough food to support her own living functions, yet she had to have enough for herself and for the baby. She did almost anything she could to get enough food for her baby, everything but prostrate herself, something she stood strongly against. Somehow she made it through that time to the day that her baby, a beautiful baby girl named Celena was born.

The one part of the body that never changes is the eyes, not from birth to death. Celena goes by that too. Her eyes were not stunning as a baby, because no part of a baby is stunning, but they were cute. She was a small baby, malnourishment in the womb being the cause, but Celena Phillips was, by some sort of miracle, not a miscarriage. She was living, and her mother would do everything she could within her own power to protect her new daughter.

Living off of the bare minimum would be the best way to describe Celena's living situation for the first three years of her life. Her mother still was not able to get a job in the factory again since she was no able to leave her daughters side. Stella had to do odd jobs, she would beg for money too. Eventually, when the times became too tough and there just was not enough money for food, she prostrated herself to feed her daughter. Even through she would do all of these jobs she still barely had enough for her daughter and herself. Celena did not grow very much for the first bit of her life due to the lack of food.

When Celena turned three, her mother finally had lost some weight and got a job at one of the factories in district three again, this really was not great for Celena though, she had nothing to do all day. She hated just sitting around with nobody to talk to, it made her bored, and a bored three year old is not something that a person would come upon every day. She spent most of her time lying down on the twin bed that her mom and her shared, rapped in a blanket, wondering, "when's mommy going to come home with food?" Her call was answered just a few times.

Being very poor for a family in district three made Celena a child who was grateful for everything that she receive, always saying please and thank you. She never knew anything besides being poor, so she though that everyone lived the same way that Stella and she lived, that is of course until she started going to school at the age of five.

Celena may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but she is observant. She noticed other kids having bagged lunches, large bagged lunches, and yet she had not even a small lunch, she did not even have a bag that she could pretend had food in it, that night when she came home from school she started asking questions.

Her mom was not exactly thankful about this. Her little girl who was always so nice started asking questions like, "Why don't we have food every day?" or "Why do other kids where different clothes to school every day?" Stella was stuck in a terrible situation, how do you explain things like that to a five year old? How could any person bring a young kid down by saying that we just don't have enough to live that that. So she made the awful decision of not answering these questions to let time answer them. This was the time when Celena started to grow apart from her mom, she stopped telling her everything, and slowly they started to become opposites.

Celena made it through the rest of kindergarten without anything of real note; her life was the same old thing as it was before. Barely any food, starving almost all of the time, until the event that changed her physical appearance forever. On a school field trip to a factory she tripped and got part of her ear cut off by a moving blade. She was immediately rushed to the closest doctor around, though Celena remembers none of this because she blacked out in pain. She only remembers waking up feeling confused and then looking in the mirror and seeing a face that should not belong to her, but it did. Naturally, the new deformation Celena's face had was not taken kindly by her, and she tried to hide it, but that never really worked.

The deformation became the center of her life. She tried to fake sick to get out of school so she would not have to see her peers, she tried putting her hair in front of her face, but that did not work either. Of course her fellow six year olds had no clue how much they were affecting her when they teased her. They thought that she looked weird, so she was weird, and because of that, they assumed that she had no feelings, because she was weird; but they were wrong.

Still, at the age of nine her families financial state had not changed one bit. They were still exceptionally poor, they did not have food to eat most days of the week, and Celena was still growing apart from her mother. But now at nine Celena had some independence, she never really did anything that a little kid should not do, but she learned that if she did anything wrong, she would not get punished by her weak mother. No consequences meant that she could do whatever she wanted, she had no use for that at that moment of course, but later in her life she would, and she would take full advantage of her freedom.

Still, life went on as per usual, people made fun of her scar, she did not have enough to eat, but then around the age of twelve she started to go through the wonderful emotional roller-coaster called puberty. Celena's normal array of emotions skyrocketed, every single reaction was huge. Emotions had no middle ground, it was either extremely one emotion, or extremely its opposite. She started growing, little by little, but her legs started stretching out, her body started looking fuller. But she wanted to take risks, she wanted to live a life where nothing was planned.

For about a year Celena thought about ways to make her life fun, becoming a teenager made her options skyrocket, or at least that is what it seemed to her. She thought about drugs, gangs, and other things, but one day she tried smoking and loved it. Picking up the habit of smoking was not cheap though, and she did not have the money to smoke very often, and that made her suffer from serious withdrawal... all of the time. From thirteen to fifteen she really had no ways of getting money, but once she turned fifteen she thought of a way to make money that would be fun and pay well at the same time...

That way of making money was prostitution. Celena was an attractive young lady, and she would have no problem finding people who were desperate for sex (which was something she enjoyed too). She spent her nights on the streets of district three in skimpy clothing, waiting for anyone to come buy who was willing to pay. Most nights people eventually came, and she was able to buy cigarettes in masses. She was living a happy life, she was having fun making money and having fun while not making money, it was the good life. But in school it was different, she was failing all of her classes and she was setting the track for an unsuccessful life, but nobody cared, because she was the weird poor girl.

≈My Insides Read≈

Celena is an angel of a sixteen year old girl... if angels reside in hell. It sounds cliche, but she was a case of a nice girl, turned bad because nobody liked her for awful reasons. Reading a book by its cover could not fit this adolescent any better than it does. The scar on her face is what people judge her on, not her personality. Or what was her personality.

The tole of constant insults as a child created a girl who nobody wanted to be around, she did not take the insults well either. She always was alone, except when people were making fun of her, but that does not really count. Showing emotions around people does not come easily to her, she never really has had anyone who she could share her feelings with.

The mind is like a sponge as child, it takes things in and believes them. Something learned as a child, or said to someone when they are a child, will stay with that person. They will remember it, and accept it. The feelings of sadness and exclusion were the main things that Celena got from the time of her being of six years to the time that she was nine years old.

A quiet girl would be what most say of her, but around the few people who are her friends (those people are also outcasts) she is very talkative. Taking nothing serious could be something positive about her too, but adults do not exactly think that it is a good thing.

Celena has went from someone excluded from most of society, to someone who does not want to be part of the mainstream. She has no interest being friends with the people that put her down before and is honestly quite happy with her social status.

Being unfriendly is not exactly Celena, she is more impartial. She just does not care about most things, and generally, she does not even care about her own body. If somebody was to ask her why she smokes even though she knows that it is bad for you, she'd probably respond "What's it matter to you?" As a person the present is her only concern, not the future, nor anybody else.

Codeword:<img src="http://i41.tinypic.com/16h2ibt.png">

Other:

Her face claim is Megan Fox[/color][/size][/blockquote]

[ᕙʕ•ᴥ•ʔᕗ]

Hi K! Time to review! -looks like a maniac-

Appearance:

Beauty, it is a subjective thing, but most would agree that Celena Phillips is one of exceptional looks.

No no no. Absolutely not. I dislike these type of sentences. I understand that you're trying to please both sides of the argument (whether the girl really is pretty or not), but you absolutely do not say "beauty...subjective thing". It's the phrasing that annoys me the most, because it is not needed and it makes me mad. Sorry, just try to rephrase what you're saying.

At the exit of the legs a sternum

1)Legs do not have an exit.
2) Do you know where the sternum is? For your reference.

bulimia, after her body

Minor issue but you just might want to start a new sentence...

The description on the hair is a bit too flowery for my liking but I'll let it pass.

which had the top third cut off.

Let's be realistic. A third of her ear's gone? I personally think that's not realistic, but give me proof that she can still live okay and I'll accept it.

A layer sets the outline of the think red scar on the girls olive skin.

...Huh? K, sometimes it's better to be concise than to have a bunch of words in your app. Quality over quantity, remember? Judging by the fact that the rest of the paragraph is on the scar, you could probably take out that sentence.

As one looks up from the mouth one would notice a nose of slight imperfection.

Repetition...grrr. Yes, I am aware that they are technically in two separate paragraphs but this still counts as repetition. I would recommend taking out either one of the sentences.

Two lips light pink lips

Just thought you would like this pointed out.

A pair of white bones

Teeth actually aren't bones even though you would typically find them with the skull. Just change bones to teeth and you'll be fine.


History:

A whole life without a dad, well, there was a biological dad, just not ever one around in Celena's lifetime.

This is a fragment so it leaves me hanging...not in a good way. Restructure the sentence, please.

Celena's mother, Stella, was beautiful at one point,...slightly atrocious in less than a year.

Why are you describing her mother? I'm trying to read more on Celena's history yet it sounds like you're starting a new char app for Stella. In my opinion, this paragraph can be taken out or summed up in one sentence and merged with another paragraph.

would be the best would be the best way

Just another mention on a possible typo-ish.

Celena may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but she is observant.

This sounds like this could be in the personality section. >.>

On a school field trip to a factory she tripped and caught the left side of her face on a moving blade, it left a cut from the side of her mouth all the way up the side of her face cutting up the top third of her left ear.

Repetition. If I can remember it by the time I see this sentence again, you know that you need to either reword this sentence or take it out from either of the two sections.

The mind is like a sponge as child,...she was nine years old.

This is a personality paragraph. I would advise you to move it if you haven't already written it out in the personality section.

suffer from slight withdrawal almost all the time.

Withdrawals are rarely slight, especially if she has a distinct fondness for them. She's either addicted enough to have withdrawals or she's not addicted.


Personality:

she was a case of a nice girl that nobody liked for awful reasons

Uh, you just mentioned in her history that this is a girl involved in sex and...other bad stuff. Where the heck did nice girl come from?

She is bipolar

Does she actually have symptoms of this illness? If so, you're going to have to say it, because I'm not seeing it. When you address an illness like bipolar, please try to refer to its clinical definition.

"F***'s it matter to you?"

Bad word. This is a PG-13 site; that word is not allowed.


Overall: Okay, I'm not even going to try to lessen the blow. You really, really, really need to fix your grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Throughout your whole bio, I see major offenses and it really irks me, because they make reading the app so much more difficult. I'm not going to pretend and say that I'm perfect when it comes to these three parts of the English language, but if I am concerned, then you should be concerned as well.

For punctuation, I'm going to refer this guide.

For grammar, RP tutor is the best way to go.

For spelling, word processor (Microsoft word, sometimes Google Docs, Keynote <--I think that's the Mac one...).

Also, you use a lot of loaded language. I suggest trying to be a bit more concise so you can get the information across. Remember, word count isn't what makes a bio good; it's what you can convey with your writing that makes the bio good.


Respond back when you have fixed the app.

[Spesh]

Me thinks I got all of what you said

[ᕙʕ•ᴥ•ʔᕗ]

-looks- I feel like there is much more that could be fixed with the grammar/spelling/punctuation, but I'm willing to let it slide for now. Definitely an RP tutor thread to brush up on those parts but based on content and everything else, I'm going to accept this char.