Carmella Venus ➤ 3 ➤ fin

[chelsey]

Name:
Age: 16 probably
Gender: Female
District/Area: District 1
Appearance:

Personality:

History:

Codeword: <img src="http://i41.tinypic.com/16h2ibt.png">
Comments/Other:

for future venus plot that i forgot about woops

[chelsey]

C A R M E L L A V E N U S
DISTRICT3 | SIXTEEN | FEMALE
_____

"I wanna be an idle teen,
I wish I hadn't been so clean."

FIVE THINGS I DID DURING SUMMER

i.

Three knocks onto Daddy's office door. "Who is it?" "Me." Inside, a yellow light emits from behind a glass lamp, and spreads through the room like the wiggles of a heat wave in the distance. "Hello, sweetheart." "Hi." On his desk are the pictures of my sisters, my brothers, and me. We all share the same angular features and natural happy expression, even when we aren't smiling. When we were all born, Daddy said he felt like a zookeeper. This huge house used to be so quiet, so empty, so lonely. Daddy says he likes it better as a zoo. Still, there are too many of us cramped between the walls of this house and sometimes it feels like it might collapse. It never does. "Your last day of school was today?" "Yes. It's summer break, now." "What would you like to do?" Daddy sits between bright flashing screens and computer wires buzzing with information he isn't allowed to tell us. Outside, the sun is setting and the sky is bright bright bright orange. "Anything."

ii.

The boy I like from my history class kisses me behind a tree. The July sun is hot as it falls through the branches and presses onto the top of my head. My friends think I've gotten lost in the park and are shouting my name. "Carmella! Carmella!" "I wish they'd leave us alone," He whispers roughly into my lips. I'm not sure if it's supposed to be this clumsy, a mesh of wet lips and biting teeth, but I kiss him back anyway. It's my first.

He holds my hand as we walk back to the circle of our friends together. They whistle when they see us, and I blush, and he kisses me on the cheek. That night, around a fire someone started with stolen matches from their mother's vanity dresser, they all lit cigarettes. It felt like a game, like a bunch of dolls playing grown ups. He offers me one and laughs when I decline. I laugh with him.

When I get home, the moon is well over the sky and father is still in his study. I can hear the computers whirring and his tired voice as he chats into a phone behind the thick wooden door.

As I climb the staircase, Oswald passes me and lifts an eyebrow. "Where've you been?" "Out." "Oh?" "Shut up." He asks who with and I say his name and Oswald laughs and makes kissy noises at me. I jest back at him, saying, "How's Lestia?" and he rolls his eyes. When I try to flee to my bedroom, Oswald grabs my wrist and looks me in the eye, a hint of a laugh still drifting in his irises. "If he hurts you, I'll beat him up. Just say the word." "Shut up, Oz!" I say, half laughing and half embarrassed as I wrench my wrist free and run to my room. As I close the door, I hear his descending voice.

"No one hurts my baby sister!"

iii.

Smoke spins through the dimly lit room like a pinwheel. The August sunlight fades from the foggy window. There are too many people inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide in this room, and I'm afraid I might collapse. He wants me to sit on his lap, to take a puff, and then he calls me a prude when I ignore him and stare glaze-eyed at the wall in front of me. Maybe I am. Maybe I should be. I don't know how he does it, but he can say anything and make it sound bad. Even my name. "Carmella, Carmella," his whispers are intoxicating. "I wish you'd leave me alone." "Well, the door is right fucking there!"

He raises his voice and the room goes silent as they turn their heads to look at us. I pinch myself so I don't have to cry. It's alright, it's okay, most of them will only remember darkness tomorrow morning. My skin aches from the indents my nails leave on its surface.

At home, mother kisses my forehead. How was your day? It was fun. How's that boy - ah, what's his name - ? He's fine. Good. That's good. Yep.

From our kitchen window, I can see the roof of the Mercury house. Their father killed himself too many years ago for me to remember the funeral. Their family is as tattered as a white flag. How long did it take for them to surrender? How long did it take for them to realize they were broken?

iv.

I carried your name in the palm of my hands like a broken winged bird when I went to bed. I'm sixteen, and plenty of old women with wrinkles beneath their eyes and in thick black corsets have waited their entire lives to tell a young girl like me that I'm foolish for thinking I'm in love, but if this isn't love then I don't want to know what is, because what could hurt more than this? I feel like a little girl who climbed a tree to reach the sun, and in all her folly, she fell out of the branches thinking another would catch her. Life doesn't work that way, I suppose, and so I fell asleep with tears on my cheeks, clutching the syllables of your name to my chest.

I was wrong. If anything is a broken winged bird, it is not your name, but me.

Early next morning, I knock on Oswald's door. That afternoon, he beats him up.

v.

When he wasn't home, I snuck into Tobias's room and looked at his magazines. Soft tiptoes against worn wooden floors, slick pages of a magazine crisply flipping through the silent atmosphere. The house was empty, except for Azalea and mother, and I stared at the girls on the pages wondering if I could be as desirable as they were. Mother tells me these are the girls on the streets, and I ought to not aspire to them, but my brain is wired with the electricity of adolescent longing for a beauty only these pictures seem to capture.

When the sun spirals into a hot afternoon later that week, I go to the lake with my friends in a two-piece bathing suit. The boy in two grades above me is there, and I'd like to pretend that he smiled when he saw me. The water is cold on my skin when I dive through it.

Underwater, the shattering sound in my head is muffled.

[chelsey]

finished an entire bio in an actual day what

also isn't the fc just presh

[Sunrise Rainier D2 // [Thundy]]

Accepted!

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And yes this FC is so great omfg - as is the app!

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