interlude.— [peter (justice building one-shots)]

[Deleted]

P E T E R    W E B S T E R - V Ă D U V A

trigger warning: intrusive thoughts, suicidal ideation, mentions of self-harm

It hit me.

I was going to die.

Even if I survived, I was going to be dead.

I would have to kill, that wasn't who I was.

I wasn't a killer.

How did Teddy do it? How did Flynn?

How did they fucking live with themselves?

No matter what happened, they won and I lost.

The Captiol won, we would all either die or become monster.

Not just the tributes this time, everyone.

We either die or we pick someone else to die, we choose them by name.

They won this year.

Would Six ever heal from this? Would Panem?

What if it wasn't too late? What would the Capitol do if a tribute never showed up after the reaping?

I couldn't run, they would find me before I ever left the district.

But as I sat on the floor, sobbing after my family had all gone, the Peacekeepers were only half watching me.

They thought nothing of it when I got up and stared at myself silently in the mirror.

They didn't hear me apologise to Gabriel and Willa under my breath.

But they heard the crash when I smashed my head against the mirror.

Once.

Twice.

And they tackled me to the ground.

My head was pounding, I felt a single streak of liquid flowing down it.

I thought I could win. If I died on my own terms, I would have beat them.

I wouldn't have to suffer.

But, they won again.

I looked at the cut on my forehead from my broken glass of the mirror, it was small. Teddy and Flynn wouldn't notice it.

Either way, there was no winning this.

I'd try to survive - for Teddy, for Luca, for Gabriel, and for Willa.

But no one ever won.

I had never felt like this before, I had never been so defeated.

For once, I was hopeless.

Did they already kill me?

[ 287 words ]
[ table by pogue ]

[Deleted]

P E T E R    W E B S T E R - V Ă D U V A

This last week went from one of the happiest weeks of my life to the worst, and I guess I just wasn't sure how to handle it.

It started with me wanting to get into the college. I had just about finished filling out my application. My parents both looked over it for me and thought it looked good, but I wanted one more set of eyes. Teddy. I took it over to his house the next time I came over to see him and asked if he could look at it and asked about any general advice. He was sort of mentoring me even then, and I appreciated it a ton. He told me he could even put in a good word for me at the college!

I was a bit worried, after all if I messed up it was his reputation on the line, but if he wanted to help me I'd let him. A few days later he said that Flynn Garner could help me out too. I had never really met Flynn before, but I think we had some mutual friends. And of course I knew who he was. Next thing you knew we were meeting for coffee. He was asking me questions about myself and taking notes.

The thing I remembered the most about him is how tired he looked. Sure he's a college student, of course he's tired. But he looks tired in the way that great grandparents do, as though life itself had exhausted him. With that look about him it was easy to forget he was a year younger than me. There was pain behind his eyes, like shattered glass. It hurt to see a kid so young in so much pain. I made a mental note to bring it up to Teddy sometime in case there was any way for him to help Flynn.

And then I got that letter in the mail.

Dear Mr. Webster-Văduva we are pleased to announced the acceptance of your application and a scholarship in the amount of...

Well let's just say it was a lot. Like a fuck ton. And I didn't even know they were offering a scholarship at the time! That day my parents took the whole family out to dinner to celebrate my scholarship. After my dinner I ran straight to Teddy's house to tell him the good news. After all, I had a feeling that Teddy and Flynn definitely helped push my application through. Though even now I'm certain I could have been accepted without them. Maybe that would've been better.

Because when I announced it at school that's when everything went wrong.

[ 435 words ]
[ table by pogue ]