Worthless; {beatrice's death post}

[Meghan]

Baby,
I've been here before

I've seen this room
I've walked this floor
I used to live alone
Before I knew you.
And I've seen your
Flag on the marble arch &
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's
A broken Hallelujah.

Hallelujah,
Hallelujah,
Hallelujah,
Hallelujah.

There was a time
When you let me know
What's really
Going on below
But now you never
show that to me, do you?
But remember when
I moved in you,
And the holy dove
Was moving too
And every breath
We drew was Hallelujah.

Hallelujah,
Hallelujah,
Hallelujah,
Hallelujah.

They say death is supposed to be as easy as falling asleep, that all you have to do is close your eyes and you'll be encased in eternal peace. Your breath slows beat by beat until finally the air that was once full of warmth and life and words transforms before your very eyes. Chill ice overtakes your entire body, and you fade, fade, fade into darkness unknown to any being who could still feel their balmy palms and sweating limbs.

Death was supposed to be a great relief from a lifetime of suffering, everyone had always said so. You could speak your final thoughts and shower the world with all the words you never had the gut to say before. Things like, "I love you," or "I wish I had done this or that", or even "I'm afraid", were all acceptable forms of speech in the clutches of the reaper. It was supposed to be the allotted time to get your affairs in order, to milk the moment with all you got.

It was not supposed to be quick or painless. Terrifying, certainly, but you could revel in your terror as you entered into the previously unseen void. Death was never meant to be a shock, a jump from one state of being to the next. It was a gradual process, sometimes over a lifetime and occasionally in only a few years. Enough to taste the beauty that life offered, to feel the sun bathe on freckled skin and hear the beating hooves of straying deer on muffled leaves. The life that surrounded the adventurous soul was the most beautiful thing ever imagined. No, if anyone deserved to watch the lights dim and feel the effects of blackness overtaking them it was me, Beatrice Birch, the lonely one.

Yet my own ending was nothing like the fairytales. I did not feel the stiffness in my limbs or sense the weakness of little blood. I had no opportunity to spin a tale around the scene of our battle as I bled into the field, for my life was stolen from me too quickly. One moment I was arguing with the little girl from District Three and the next I was flying across the snow and feeling the last bit of pain I would ever experience before the world was gone, gone, gone and I left with it. (I suppose I am here to tell you this, but only for a breath of time. Life wouldn't be so cruel to deny a girl her final words).

"CASSIUS! HELP! NO! VINNIE P-" Gone. I am gone, my life extinguished like that. I clench my teeth at the touch of the blade hacking through my throat. I let out one last, shrill scream as my head rips from my vocal chords and is released into the wild. I always wanted to be free from the chains this world had set on me, but not like this. Never like this.

It is the memories that get me, as if I realized that this was the last chance in life I had to remember. I watched it all unfold before me, memory by memory, as quick as the fire that was already ripping its unforgiving dance through my skin. I could feel the burning of steel. Days of wounds piling into each other, reminding me of how far I have sunk. I am not who I once was. Nor will I ever be again while I am still alive. I have become a mere shadow of my true self, twisted by the barbarous oafs so present in this current existence.

"CASSIUS!" Oh my dear Cassius, how I miss you. I can see the gravel path, the stone slipping beneath our frantic feet as we run with joy and screaming into one of our many escapes. As far away from them as we could get away with. They had been cruel to you that day, screaming words of discouragement and reminders of each of your faults. You had no discipline, you lacked morals, you could never survive with such a careless attitude. You... we were always meant for death, weren't we, Cassius?

"Cass, tell me something." I whine, tiny fingers clutching at the frayed edges of his over-worn tee-shirt. I pierce his skin with the green gaze of one desperate. He looks at me with his crooked smile and runs a rough hand through my curly, brown hair.

"What do you want to know, sweetheart?" His voice was deep even then, and was still poisoned with the overwhelming scent of cigarettes and rum. That scent was my comfort at night, so familiar and still shocking at the same time. I giggled, my laugh then unfamiliar to the cackle I possessed now. It was not with a faint heart that I stood, but a lively, beating one that reveled in the expressions of those I had not yet lost.

"Tell me you love me," My voice is merely a whimper as I grab at hair and chin alike, my fingers trailing across his jaw, then undeveloped but once-upon-a-time strong and angular. He gives me a look of confusion. What are these trifle words I throw around? But I fill my eyes with obtrusive desperation and I see his expression melt.

"Why do you want me to tell you that, Bea? You know that already."
My heart falls abruptly and I can feel my eyes fill with tears. Does my brother not love me? My parents do not love me. My family does not love me. Now, even my only brother, the most precious thing I had in this entire world, did not love me.

"Cassius..." I mutter and snatch my hand away, "I just need to hear it sometimes. You know how Mother and Father are and --" He cuts me off and pulls me into his arms, swinging me into the air as he gives me the tightest hug I have ever known.

"Beatrice Aaralyn-Margaret Birch, never believe their lies for one second. I love you. I love you. I love you! You're the best little sister I could ever ask for and the bravest, young woman I ever met." I squeal with delight and push my arms harder against him, never letting him escape the embrace we had created. I was being silly and forgetting his love. He was my older brother, my only brother, and I could not possibly be luckier to have him.

"I love you too, Cass." I whisper and close my eyes as he carries me the rest of the way home. "I will never stop loving you,"

The world reemerges for a second, and I am surrounded by people that are not my brother. Flashes of them pass before my eyes and I allow myself to take them in with quick breaths of panic. Sticky. Storm. Jim. Saffron. Lucy. Cerise. Iago? Where was that brushfire boy? He must have lied when he acted like he wasn't afraid, like he was ready to die and not ready at the same time. I could remember his words to me on that rooftop, the blunt phrases echoing in my head again.

"You say you would’ve given up everything just to be here? You stupid or something??" For the right person, Iago, yes, yes I would. Maybe you regret your act of selflessness but I tell you, if I was able to step into the shoes of him, to prevent losing something so eternally precious, I would have done it in a moment. I'm not stupid, not at all, Iago. You're the stupid one for regretting the sacrifice of your life to save the one who cared about. That's stupid!

I wasn't allowed to give up everything for him, they stopped me in my tracks. But you, Iago, you had the chance to save a life. You had the chance to give up everything in love, to risk your own well-being and your own future for the sake of somebody else. Me? I would never have that chance again. Cassius had to pay his own way here and so did I. So do most of us, this wasn't a choice for me.

We strike at Cerise but the fire in her spirit is the reigning power for a single moment. What was it that I said? You're going to regret ever messing with me, you little baby. You're going to pay for all of your sins... Was she? Did I really stand a chance against the heartless Cerise?

"Leave me alone. You're worthless!" I shout and grip my sword tighter, "You don't deserve this. None of us do!" Why was everyone braver than me? Why would I always be the weak one while they managed to survive? I was the worthless one. I deserved to die.

Me. Beatrice Birch, was ready to die. "We're all worthless!" All of us? Really? Or just me. I'm worthless.

Sticky with his smooth words and brave face is not worthless.

Storm with his smart reasoning and gallant heart is not worthless.

Saffron with her need to go home and precise movements is not worthless.

Lucy with her innocence and come-find-me attitude is not worthless.

Cerise with her ability to not care and her go-for-it stance is not worthless.

Jim with his wanting lips and heated declaration is. not. worthless.

I am worthless. I am the worse of us all, and it is time my identity was revealed to them. Another memory swims before me as the girl snaps threatening words. I hardly pay attention.

HELP! "Get your act together, Birch!" A trainer with thick glasses and a shiny, balding head screams as I frantically try to hit another dummy with a knife. "You can do better than this, you dithering dunce. Even your ballerina cousin Milo is better than you." I fling another blade through the air and it hits the dummy deep in the arm. Far away from the heart I was aiming for. My trainer turns red and drops his clipboard in stark despair. Foam practically forms at his mouth as he leans towards me, mercy absent from his blank, heartless eyes.

"WORTHLESS! YOU'RE WORTHLESS! YOU'LL NEVER SURIVE AT THIS RATE. YOU ARE AS GOOD AS DEAD! DO YOU HEAR ME? DEAD!" The man spits a wet-gob of saliva on the ground, his disappointment mixed with his distrust of me. I was a failure wasn't I? But it was funny, back then, I didn't care. It only added more fuel to my everlasting fire. Instances like this forced my soul to turn stone-cold as I stole valuable items and precious things alike. The more intimate an item was to a person the better. It became mine alone as I snatched it from its once rightful home.

Into the fire it would fall, again and again, until every thing that made it recognizable was gone, gone, gone. Ashes would become its new identity as I blew it into the wind. It would fly far away and fall silent as the death that now held a firm grip over it. Its owner would be left empty and worthless. Like me, like I would always be. Even as I faced what some would describe as fear.

Yet as worthless as I was then, it did not compare to how barren I was today. All that I ever knew had melted before my eyes and had grown black with soot. Soon it drifted into dewey breeze and faded along with everything else I ever cared for.

We were all meant to die here. Most of us slowly and over time. Time enough to speak our own eulogy. Time enough to declare our last rebellion.

NO! "Beatrice, you must wear a dress for the reaping. This is your first year eligible and I forbid you from making a fool of yourself. Or us, our reputation as the most honorable career family is highly essential today. Do not break the heart of your poor mother, or you will face the most severe consequences." She was at it again, her age-old lecture about how Cassius and I were supposed to be the best and acting-out on Reaping Day would not be tolerated.

"No!" I scream and slam the door on her, barely missing the pointed toes of her boots. "No, no, no! I refuse!" Timeless words in a hell of a household. I wanted to wear pants and a t-shirt, and there was no reasoning to sway me towards compliance.

Nothing at all! Except... the heavy hand that flew across my pale-white face as my father stormed into the room. Discipline, that was all this was in their eyes, but why did it feel like more? Why did it feel like each hit was an attack that broke a fragment of my regret broke with every smack? Again and again his fingers tore into my skin until I was bleeding on the ground, sobs shaking my soul with lumps of this bitter lesson. I was their good-for-nothing daughter, unable to live up to the expectation they tossed on me daily. Was I the reflecting silver platter, cracked beneath the weight of a burden too heavy for me to carry?

Flash forward only a few hours and I was standing in the district square, realizing that for one more year at least I was safe. "Cricket Antoinette!" The escort called and I watched the elastic girl bound onto the stage in a display of talent and endurance I would never possess. Perhaps my spinning cousin Milo could echo such an act, but never I. I would always be the clumsy, tiny vixen girl with scars scrawled across my skin and buried deep within my heart. Worthless.

"Cassius Birch!" What did they say? Were my ears deceiving me and spitting out lies? Cassius, no, it could never be.

Yet I could hear his chuckle as he ran towards the stage, turning only to grace the crowd with the rudest gesture he could think of. That. Was. My. Cassius. Always a jokester, even when being sentenced to death.

"NO! CASSIUS!" I screamed but they were already at my side, clutching my arms in unwavering hands as my brother was escorted into the justice building, far away from safety. "C-C-Cassius..."

Gone, he was gone, theirs forever. "No..."

Was I about to die? Was this how the world was going to end for me? Time seemed to slow as the girl from three swung her blade and I just knew it was going to hit my neck. How could it not? I had done nothing to stop the attack, only stared into her eyes, so similar to the ones of my abusive trainer.

Was I afraid of death? Was it really worth being afraid of something that was always ticking closer with each blink of an eye. I was born to die, wasn't I? Perhaps I was facing the ruthless sword sixty years earlier than expected, but it really was not a surprise given my track record of things. Life had been stolen from me as soon as they read my name aloud less than two weeks ago. Beatrice Birch. District Two Female Tribute of the Sixty-Fifth Hunger Games.

The sheep led to slaughter, the girl meant to die.

Goodbye world, I suppose. I would ask for help but it would never come. This was my world now, this was my fate, and this was my last moment. I could fill the arena with all of my regrets and a thousand pleas for help. I could scream into their ears and make them feel my pain. Or I could close my eyes and let a final memory fill my vision.

I sit in solitude, imprisoned in my own seclusion as the night grows shorter. Closer to my last march and further away from the safety of my brothers arms. Two years since I have seen him. Twenty-four months since we had laughed together. One hundred and four weeks since his familiar scent had spread into my room. Seven hundred and thirty days since I had sang him a comforting song. Seventeen thousand, five hundred and twenty hours since I had stitched him up. One million, fifty-one thousand, two hundred minutes since we had last embraced. Sixty-three million, seventy-two thousand seconds since we had said our goodbyes.

A goodbye, so brief yet so cherished. The only thing that had helped me sleep at night that last week of his life. He hadn't lasted an hour in the arena before they tore him down. He fell, a cigar in his mouth, never to rise again. Never to hear my song late at night, nor to sob into my arms when nightmares racked his body. Lost. He was forgotten by most, but not me, never would he be forgotten by me. I would always love him.

The door clicked open, but I ignored it and only wrapped my arms tighter around my knees. My head was buried into the soft pillow propped against my legs as I cried silent tears and pretended that this was not the world I belonged to. Things were going to be okay if I pretended hard enough. I would live, and so would he.

A gravelly voice interrupts my thought with a single word. "Beatrice." I knew that tone, I could recognize it from a mile away. I lift my head and open two grassy eyes at the intruder.

Cassius? My heart leaps as I take in the figure before me. He had the same stature and the same eyes. His hair was dark, and his skin was just as tan as I remembered. "Is that you?" I ask, blood rushing to the edges of my face as I scurry off of my bed and to the stranger in excitement. Is he alive? Were the games just one fake-glory hole, a scam on the unsuspecting eyes of the nation? Did they keep our brothers and sisters locked away somewhere, a display to only those who knew this deep secret?

I was about to jump into his arms, for old times sake, when the most disenchanting thought struck me cold. "Cassius had a twin. He lives in the Capitol. I just thought you should know." My mothers last words to me. The one thing I had refused to accept my entire time here. A twin, another brother, one last family member.

I drop my enthusiasm at once and trip over my own feet in an attempt to escape the presence of such a liar. "GO AWAY!" I scream, my fingers playing at my pockets as I search for a dagger I had stolen only five days previous. "I KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND I SURE AS HELL DON'T WANT YOU HERE."

"Beatrice!" The boy pleads, stepping towards me with his wooden cane. "I'm your brother. Cassius and I --- we were separated at birth. I didn't know about him until he was reaped. I'm Vinnie! Your Vinnie. Your older brother. Cassius' twin!" He seemed so eager to share these secrets with me, and I could only wail in shocked anguish as my very world shattered into a million pieces. Was this a nightmare that I was experiencing? Was the Capitol forcing me to live out my worse fears the night before my death?

"GO AWAY!" I scream again, and draw the dagger into the air. "YOU ARE NOT MY BROTHER. YOU ARE A COWARD, ONLY A COWARD. IF YOU WERE MY BROTHER YOU WOULD HAVE RESCUED ME -- AND HIM AS SOON AS YOU FOUND OUT WHO WE WERE!" My arm raises steadily and I can see the fear flash in his eyes. This was the moment my trainer was yelling at me for, I was going to live and this intruder was going to die for what he had done. He was the one who would pay for his sins, not me, not Cerise, not anyone else but him, him, him. "Why didn't you save me?" I whisper, and suddenly the dagger is soaring in an arch. He dives out of the way in a flurry of my everlasting failure.

I had a worthless aim, didn't I?

"I love you, Beatrice. I'm going to do everything I can to save you." With that subtle promise he disappeared and I was left an only child once more. Had he saved me? I suppose I had been sponsored a great deal of things in the four days I had been here, but was that enough to forgive him of all he had done wrong?

A white sheet of crumpled paper caught my eye. It lay on the floor only a breath away from where he had stood. He must have dropped it as he left. It was for me, wasn't it? I grabbed it with greedy hands and read the first line,
Sister,
I have seen you look death in the face with little more than a passing glance. You do not care for the troubles that this world so easily partakes in, for your world has passed by.

What was this? A letter for me, from my last remaining brother. I gagged and threw the paper back down. No, I could never read something that came from somebody so afraid. He did not deserve his final words, just as I did not deserve mine.

"VINNIE P-" lease forgive me.

Forgive the words I shouted at you when you were just trying to say goodbye. Nail to the cross the death I intended for you to suffer. Forget about the knife that soared through the air. Just remember me, and the love you felt for me before I tried to kill you.

I forgive you of everything, Vinnie. All that you had done wrong by letting me get sent here to die. I forgive you, Vinnie. Please forgive me.

The sword swings all the way through and I let out a final, bloodcurling scream. The kind that sends chills into your spine and wraps itself around your vocal chords (mine had been ripped away and the scream now faded into nothing, just like me). The mountains around us rang with it as the world disappeared before my very eyes. Visions of Cassius, Vinnie, Iago, Jim, Ewe Saw, Emery, Scout, Sticky, Storm, Lucy, Saffron, Cerise, Hope, Eden, Siana, Mantel, my parents, myself, and death flashed before my eyes as the blood drained from my skin. My body was lost and so was my life.

Into the void I slipped, quickly and almost painlessly. A picture of death that was never supposed to occur. A tragic ending to my tragic life.

Goodbye. My mind whispered (for I know longer had a heart), and forever I faded from view.

Into deaths Cassius arms I flew, once and again safe.

Back on Earth, in an Arena I once knew, the world was still vibrant. Men Boys were still screaming as they watched my body separate from itself. Young Jim swung his axe at a girl who had just murdered, and down too she fell. Then the girl from twelve struck Storm Jay with her own sword and he dropped down too.

Boom! Boom! Boom! Our canons cried and the last of our enemies fled the scene. Jim and Sticky remained, their faces drowned in sorrow as they took in the scene before them. Forward Jim move as he cradled my broken body in his arms, tears in his eyes as he cleaned away the blood.

Why was I here to witness this? Shouldn't I be dead?

But no, it seemed that fate was holding me to the earth, its last words needing to be said.

Jim searched my pockets for something, and for a second I thought he meant to steal from my corpse. Would he sink that low?

Instead he pulled a crumpled piece of paper that I had folded into half in my last reading. On the front was the letter to my brother, and on the back was a letter I had written for Iago, if I ever got the chance to see him again.

Was this the reason my ears were working once more?

The boy cleared his throat and fought away his sobs, his voice clear as he read the letter to the boy from Eleven one last time.

Iago --

I don't know if you'll ever see this, or if I'll ever see you again but I just wanted to tell you that you're the strongest, bravest boy I've ever met. Honestly. I know I don't seem to be sweet to most of the world... well actually I'm kind of a bitch, but there's a lot the world doesn't know about me. Or you for that matter. It's just... I spent a lot of time watching you, Iago. In the training center, at dinner, on the rooftop, hell, even in the bloodbath. You tore through people and stole their lives as easily as if they were made of paper. To the world, it seemed as if you had no regrets and no fear.

But is that really true, Iago? Do you really have no heart beneath your stone mask? Can we be truly heartless? I don't think it's possible, no matter how hard we try to be perfect, try to fit into their high-standard mold, we're always going to fail. They can't take our motives away from us. They can't steal our hearts, even if they wanted to.

I know, Iago, I know all about you. I've done my research. You are not a monster. Your life is not about killing, killing, killing, and that is not your purpose, not even here, in the arena, Iago.

No, your purpose is so much more than that. You came here to save a life, not to take one. (God, I sound like such a hypocrite. You don't want to know the things I've done.) Iago, you saved your cousins life by coming here... that makes you a hero, not a murderer.

You deserve this more than I do, more than anyone, I promise you that.

Me? I lost everything I ever had before I even set a foot in the Capitol. Before I stepped onto that stage, I was a lost cause. Do you know why?

Because my life had already been stolen from me. They stole him... my brother. They took him away to the Capitol and they returned him in a wooden box and they left me all alone, Iago. They tried to paint me into the perfect picture of a monster... but like you, I am not a monster.

I am just a girl who is fighting for her right to live.

But I don't deserve that life, Iago. You do. You deserve to live and I deserve to die. I am the monster.

You are the hero.

Iago, before I end this letter I wanted to tell you something. You are the bravest, strongest young man that I have ever met.

I regret not spending more time with you.

I regret not telling you how I feel.

You know, I've never kissed a boy just because I wanted to. Some silly part of me wanted to kiss you before I died, but I know that's never going to happen. But hey... I don't deserve to kiss somebody as fearless as you.

I want you to win this thing, for Sampson. For Cassius. For me.

I want you to go home, and I want you to kiss a girl just because you want to.

Please, Iago. In the words of my brother before he bled to death...

Go home, Iago, go home.

Love From a dear admirer,

Beatrice.

I would never go home, I had already died. Jim's words only reminded me of this, only told me of my failure. Yet Iago still had a chance, and so did Jim. Those words were meant as much for him as they were for the boy who had forgotten me. I wondered how much they destroyed him. He had kissed me, yet here he was, faithfully telling the world how I longed to feel the lips of somebody else.

Maybe Jim was the one who had deserved my love all along. Maybe I was the blind one.

He was crying steadily now as he flipped the paper over and read the words I had refused. I guess I would hear them after all.

Sister,
I have seen you look death in the face with little more than a passing glance. You do not care for the troubles that this world so easily partakes in, for your world has passed by.

I regret letting them destroy you with my passive indifference and unsubtle fear.

I am the reason for your death, Beatrice. Without my frigid actions you would not be in this standstill of time, just waiting for a sword or arrow or knife to strike you down. They have taken away your innocence. I could see that from the moment we met eyes in the victory tour.

Beatrice, I am the troublesome coward, all mixed up in my own trifle affairs, unable to pay attention to yours. I did not think through the danger you were in... it did not seem possible after the death of our your brother two years ago. Why would the Captiol punish our your family like this? They had stolen one soul, must they take another?

Yet you pressed forward without even shivering at the prospect of a bleak future. Their annihilation had no hold beneath your skin because you refused to be their pawn. Rebellion shown in your eyes that night, sister. It could be seen for miles.

Are you afraid of dying? I wish to ask you that but I know it would only be too dangerous of a question. My very presence must be overwhelming enough, surely I cannot add the burden of your certain doom to the knife wounds buried far in my heart.

Time passes quickly and even as I am writing this I know that I cannot hide from the truth any longer. Soon it will be time for me to meet you and the very thought of that scares me. You are my sister, Bea, you must be. Why else would Cassius be playing so faithfully on your lips if you were not related to him?

Even then, I desire to know you, Bea. He was your beloved hero, and I want to be there too.

I regret everything.

I knew he was mine the minute he stepped onto that stage. Who else could he be? I had always felt a little empty here, and perhaps that is why I tried to fill my life with so many unnecessary things. Women, men, money, fame, glory, power. Everything that was not you.

I pushed away from you, Bea, but I know, I just know that I could have saved you. If only I had tried...

I regret not trying to save you. I should have rescued you, snatched you from the district sometime these past two years and taken you far away to someplace safe. Somewhere that didn't have it out to kill you. Not Panem.

Yet, here we are, Beatrice. I am still safe and you are about to die and there is nothing I can do about it. You are in their custody and if I tried to escape with you then we would both lose our heads. I can only leave you with my closing words, my dearest sister.

I can only leave you with my last regrets and the things I could never say to you before. I was a coward back then , and I suppose I am now, but I must face this.

I must face you.

Beatrice Birch, I love you.

I will always love you even if you die and I will never be able to speak to you again. You have stolen my heart, sister, you are my motivation.

I was too afraid to tell you these things, even now! I am too afraid of facing you. No, please, Beatrice. You must listen to me. In this letter is the key to my heart, not my courage.

I have faith in you to live. To overcome this final barrier between ultimate happiness, between us.

Do you want to know us, Bea? Do you long for a relationship with your only remaining brother? Or am I just another destroyed soul in your quest for vengeance?

I regret it all. I am sorry, Beatrice. I am sorry we never got to properly meet, and I am sorry that tomorrow you will walk into despairing death.

Please win, sister. For my sanity. For my sake.

I know I could never give you those things, at least not while Cassius was still alive, but I hope to start anew. I'll tell you what... if you win this, we can escape together. We will run into freedom and they will not be able to stop us. Together we can have the life that you and your brother (our brother) were supposed to have.

I regret not being able to tell you these things in person. I am sorry for not rescuing you. I pray that you will forgive me for my sins.

Goodbye, Beatrice, perhaps not for long.
Or maybe for eternity.

I love you.

-- V.

Vinnie loves me, he would always love me. Just as Cassius loved me, just as Jim love me, just as I could never love myself.

I love you, Vinnie Birch. My soul whispers, but he would never hear. I love you.

Jim is standing now, his feet kicking at the ground around Storm and I as Sticky speaks his final phrases. They both were going to miss me, weren't they?

It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me in over two years.

They weren't going to abandon me without their goodbyes, without honor, without abundant love. Was I worth something to them? Did they really, truly care for me?

It was a feeling I had not felt in a long time. Love.

Jim sprinkles the last of my tar around a pit of dirt he had circled around Storm and I. He tosses dirt over our corpses and packs it firm. Then he does something with his hands and suddenly the world around our grave is lit in golden flame. A tribute to our souls.

Three fingers press against his lip and he steps back, his arm raised. A salute to our lives.

"I'm out of your site, just like you wanted." Jim McCoy whispers as the smoke cascades before our bodies. He drops the paper in the dirt, safe from the flame, and then the two are running, running, running, into the hope that their life still holds. And Storm and I are alone, our lives wiped away forever.

The world disappears for the last time, and I know deep within my heart that this was my goodbye.

And into the afterlife I am flung, forever and always.

End of Beatrice Birch.

For love may come and tap you on the shoulder some starless night
Just in case you feel you want to hold her
You'll have a pocketful of starlight
Catch a falling star and
Put it in your pocket
Never let it fade away
Catch a falling star and
Put it in your pocket
Save it for a rainy day

Acknowledgements;

Words: 5868

I have so many people to thank for making these games an absolute delight. I feel like I grew a thousand times closer to everyone on this site over the past few months, and I look forward to many more months together. Thank you to each and every one of you for making me feel welcome on HGRPG. <3 Without futher ado:

Python - Girl, I don't even know where to begin! You were the best mentor I could ever ask for, and you went above and beyond in your duty and service to Beatrice and to me. I felt so loved by you throughout these entire games. Every time I freaked out about this or that you were there, and without you I would have certainly died in the bloodbath. I am so grateful for all those texts you sent me at work, and those times where you just let me rant. Thank you for absolutely everything, hun, and I can't wait to continue our friendship in the future. <3
Kay - Even though you were not my official mentor you still did everything in your power to keep me alive. Thank you for both betting on me AND sponsoring me. I feel like I have made a really good friend in you during these games and it is clear that I can talk about anything with you. You truly are amazing and if I could exalt you everyday for the rest of my life I would. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Cato - If there is one thing certain about you, Cato, it's that you stick with people through thick and thin. You were there for me through tears, in anger, and in delight and you were always so sweet and supportive. You let me tease you about ships, and you were always willing to read my posts before anyone else. I am so grateful you asked me to be in your alliance, honestly, I could not ask for anyone better! I am so proud of you for getting to the top six tributes. Thank you for letting me use Jim in my death post, and for letting him effect Beatrice. I will never forget everything that you did for me these games, Cato. I am eternally grateful. <3
Emsrock - Rachel, you truly rock!! You were always so supportive and so honest with me and I really appreciated that. Storm was absolutely brilliant and I am so grateful you let me roleplay with him. Thank you for being an amazing member of this site and and even better friend. I can't wait to see what the future holds for you, my dear. <3
Shine - Aww, Glenn, you are so adorable. Sticky was honestly one of my favorites and you are truly a wonderful writer. I am sad that he got insta'd, I was really rooting for him to win. Thank you for letting me talk about pointless things with you, and for always being willing to thread.
Zorionak - Zori, Zori, Zori. You truly are one amazing dude. I know we didn't always get along but I am so grateful to have a friend like you in my life. You were always so true to me and it was always a relief to get a message from you. Thank you for plotting with me from the start, and I'm sorry Beatrice died before she and Iago got to kiss. I'm glad Iago found some happiness in Emery, though. <3 I can't wait to write with you in the future (can i has my Izar yet?), and I hope to see you win the games someday!
Onyx - Girl, you were always so adorable and I always adored talking to you. It was so heartbreaking when Eden died so early, but I'm glad you have a good attitude about it. <3 I really wish we could have allied! Thanks for being such an amazing writer and such a great friend.
Rook - ROOOOOOOOOOOK! <3333 I can honestly say you are one of my favorite writers on the site. I was always in awe when I read your Wednesdae posts, and I inspired to be like you. When we became friends I couldn't believe my luck because you are so incredible and wonderful all at the same time. I love joking around with you and I love writing with you even more. Thanks for being such a loyal friend, and thank you for having a wonderful tribute. I hope we can write together in the future <333
Shrimp - You better win this thing, dearie! I am so excited that you made it to the finale, Ewe really deserve it! *cough* Thanks for being willing to incorporate Beatrice into some of your posts, I am sorry we didn't get to write more. Someday, my dear, someday. Also our kingdom will rule for life, the end.
Cici - Eek, Cici! Congrats on getting so far in the games. I love your writing and I love your insane musical talent! Thanks for being willing to thread with me, and I wish you all the success in all of your future endeavors. <3
Rosetta - I just wanted to say that Scout with her teddy bear was adorable and you are just as adorable. Thanks for being so fun. <3
Semper - Sempy, ilyyyyyy so much. Thank you for letting me abuse Shadow a bit these games, and for being such a faithful friend. I can't wait to write Rintin/Bianca with you in the future. OTP FOR LIFE MKAY. <3
Mylee - You rock, girl. I will never forget our first thread together, and I am so glad we were in the games together. Congrats on getting so far. <3
Kousei - Kousei, YOU ROCKED IT for your first tribute! You were always really supportive and impeccably kind and I really appreciated everything you did these games. Thanks for hunting with me, and for letting me use your tribute. I'm sorry Bea had to kill him, I was hoping you would go further. </3
Ani Jay - Thanks for having such a good attitude about Siana's death. I'm sorry she went so soon. Thanks for being so nice to everyone. <3
Aya, Chime, Zoe, Clover - Thank you for such awesome and fun fight threads, and for letting me go into the bloodbath with you! You guys are spectacular. Good luck in the finale, Zoe!
Kittyoemily, Yoya, Cameo - Thank you for offering me an alliance spot and for writing such interesting characters. I can't wait to see you in future games. <3
Verbal - Thank you for being one of the first to ask me to ally. I am sorry that it didn't work out, but I wish you best of luck in the future. <3 Your writing was amazing and I was sad that Linus died when did. Next time, hon!
South - I will just always thank you because you have always been nothing but kind to me and I love each and every one of your characters. One day you will have a victor, I can feel it!
Kiah - Thanks for being supportive these games and for letting me thread with you when I needed a distraction! <3
Raseri - Thank you for making graphics and tables for Beatrice. I appreciate that immensely. <3
Axel - Thanks for cheering me on even when you weren't o nthe site, and thank you so much for coming back. I can't wait to thread with you! <333
Wonder - Thank you for answering my stupid questions and for being super sweet. We will have babies one day, I promise.
Dars, Josh, and everyone else from Truth or Dare, - I LOVE ALL OF YOU GUYS AND TRUTH OR DARE WAS ONE THE BEST NIGHTS I'VE EVER HAD ON THIS SITE. THANKS FOR PUTTING UP WITH MY ANTICS AND MAY WE HAVE MANY MORE SKYPE PARTIES IN THE FUTURE. <3
Tristen - Thanks for being ever-so-loyal and eternally sweet. I love you, baby doll <3 You make a beautiful Demeter.
Elegant - Thank you for always inquiring about my day and for wanting to write with me. You are one of my favorite writers on the site and it's always an honor to speak to you. ily potato, you are truly wonderful. <3
Lalia - Girl, you are brilliant and so down-to-earth. I love everything about your characters, and I especially adore Cricket who was both my district partner in the 63rd and my mentor in these games. I can't wait to thread with you in the million places we are plotted, and I am really grateful you want to write with me. I have so much to learn from you!
Tom - Thanks for being so kind and for letting me poke fun at you. I can't wait to see Elliot, and I am really grateful that you jumped on the chance to write a Birch!
Lulu - Thank you for running these games and answering all of our silly questions. You're really awesome and I have enjoyed chatting with you over the past couple months. Heres to many more successful games!

Finally I would like to thank Beatrice, for invading my mind and over-running my heart with her broken words. You were the best tribute I could ever ask for. And to Cassius and Vinnie, for being both her muse and mine. Thank you, thank you, thank you.