{W E A K} ^Cadman's DP^
Jul 16, 2014 15:57:48 GMT -5
Post by Loony on Jul 16, 2014 15:57:48 GMT -5
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Brair, Sahalie, and Jess- Thank you all for being the best allies I could have asked for. I'm just upset that our characters didn't get to interact more. I know that the Roses of Cimarron will continue to bloom amidst the heat of this arena.
Kay and Charade- Thank you guys for being amazing Gamemakers. You've made this the most enjoyable first games a boy could ask for. I want to thank you for being extremely helpful and understanding of first timers like me.
Anzie and Kiah- Thank you for starting the very plot that led to Cadman's creation. Good luck with Leon and Sonja, they are both great characters. And special thanks to Anzie for this amazing table!
Everyone who supported Cadman- THANK YOU! You guys are great! Meghan, Ani, Arctic, Pogue, and the list goes on and on.
All the other trib-owners- Good luck to all of you and being great opponents. You guys made these games great.
Cadman- Sorry I made your afterlife so sucky, you were a great tribute.
words.
speech.
thoughts.
an underdog At birth I wasn't expected to live more than a few days. "Too eager to see the world," my mother would say. But I fought, I lived to see another sunrise, and then another, and another. I grew, not to the normal quota of a newborn, but to an acceptable size. I didn't give in, not accepting death, fending off its cold embrace. I choose life in my first few days, and now I question that choose, because this life seems more painful than the quiet death of the malnourished.
I can't say I wanted to win.(because there are no winners) I can't say I even wanted to survive. But what I wanted was to have a chance (an actual chance) to live, because I have never had a chance. I have been denied time after time. Denied the right to a healthy body. Denied the right to a normal childhood. Denied the right to see the sun. Denied the right to everything good. Denied the chance to fight. The arrow was just another denial, one that made its message clear when it entered my eye socket. I suppose I am grateful that my death was relatively painless, just a quick, sharp pain and then... utter and complete darkness.
(a peasant among gods) and I hated it. Weak. Weak. Weak. Why have I been damned to be this frail boy? What have I done to deserve this form of ridicule? I can see how quickly I fell, the first of 23. I can see the scorn the killer must have felt towards me, a fucking weakling who once believed he was strong. Cadman Gertz, a painful optimist just like his father.
My family is probably watching me with bitter feelings of déjà vu. I can't say I ever really thought about them during my entrapment. I was too focussed on myself, on trying to escape, on pitying myself. Selfish. I never thought about my own flesh and blood. I never thought about how my disappearance caused them hurt. Selfish. It takes being brutally murdered in order for me to care about their wellbeing. I have been nothing but a snotty little shit for 15 years of life. Selfish. With my childish desire to kill Future I have damned the others to months or even years of torture. Selfish. I believed I was superior to the other puppets, superior to the other tributes, superior to all of those around me. I thought I was strong, but I am not strong. (You are inadequate)
The other arrow (sent by one of the boys you thought you could kill) makes it perfectly clear that I have never been a threat. The world wanted to confirm that it has ridden itself of Cadman Gertz, and ensure that he would never disgrace it with his presence again. The second arrow was nothing more than a symbol of a large bundle of misfortunes that were sent my way. That damn second arrow was the icing on the shit-show called my life.(stop pitying yourself, Cadman) Why did I expect anything other than this? The world screwed me over time and time again, and now it has had it's fun and thrown me out like the trash I am. (STOP WITH THE FUCKING PITY) I know I can't change what I've done, I've left my scars on the world, and they can never be healed. I have failed everyone I've known, and I can't blame anyone but misfortune and myself, but I still deserve these last few milliseconds where I can look back at my corpse and reflect on a plethora of bad decisions leading to this moment.
(You've left behind more scars than you care to think about) I look at the ones still fighting. Marianne, the sweet girl from 10, collapses and I scream into the silence around me. (Too rash for your own good) Weak. (You could have helped her) Weak. (You were useless to them) Weak. In this hallow ball of dark pain, I observe my ally collapse. If I hadn't charged into battle, if I had stuck with her and helped her, she could be alive. We could both be alive if I hadn't given into temptation and died so quickly. Weak. I left the world at the worst possible time. (A failure on all accounts) A substandard son, an unsatisfactory toy, a inferior tribute, a sorry excuse of an ally.
The other two allies escape, nothing more than a backwards glance at our corpses. (Let them go, its time to move on) I fight to remain watching the world below me. I know I have failed to be adequate for 15 years. I have been selfish, because I chose to pity myself when dealt bad situation. I have been arrogant because I believed I was superior. I lived a life filled with misfortune, and while others may have risen above their misfortune, chosen to rise above their situations. Other would have become better people, using their misfortune as a mold to shape themselves into something beautiful. But I let myself become something ugly, a blob of anger, pity and arrogance. I let my situation shape me into something worse than my kidnappers. Fueled by revenge I charged into uncharted territory. (you are your own downfall, but this is almost always the case)
(Action, reaction. Cause and effect. These are simple ideas Cadman Gertz, but you failed to grasp them) Stop. I know what is coming, but I turn away from it, because I am still weak. Not even death could change my ways. With newly humbled eyes, I continue to watch the living world. In the scorched arena the living continue to vie, but I no longer care about them. I turn towards the puppets, the ones I've damned. They were more innocent than I ever was, and I have robbed them of freedom. I turn towards my family. I chose to seek vengeance before talking to them. I have caused them more pain than two arrows to the eyes. Once again, I look away. I begin a search for some one I have not injured, some one who I have come in contact with and not left worse off. (You will not succeed) Shut up. Searching, a tornado of memories and thoughts arise. Each supports the idea that I am nothing more than a parasite, destined to bring pain with me.
In a world not yet explored, I fall to my knees. (Isolated from the rest, to prevent you from harming others.) I search for others, an acquaintance for this harrowing journey. And I find none. Instead I stumble upon a shoddy raft, laying within a black sea. Turning back I find nothing but darkness. Whatever awaits me lays ahead. So I step onto a rickety raft, and head off into my new life. The tides guide me, something unfamiliar to a boy from metallic District 3, and lead me towards a destination not yet revealed. (You have been egotistic, arrogant and pitiful. You are a bad omen, and leave destruction in your wake. But in your heart you are no worse than others)
The winds pick up, and take me towards a place darker than the black horizon. There I find myself amongst a jungle, with dark trees and black lakes. The shore is comprised of dark sand. I am alone, left to my own thoughts, punished in the kindest yet cruelest of ways. Isolated, but not completely alone. After hours of searching I find a small mirror partly buried under the dark sand. It shows me flashes of Earth, where I can watch others, but not touch them. It is perhaps the cruelest thing I have ever touched. (You can watch the world you left behind. But only see the things you have broken) I can see my family. I can see my allies. I can see the puppets. I can not help them, instead I get to see them fall to pieces. I get to feel their pain, but I can't ease it. This is my hell. This is my eternity.
speech.
thoughts.
Hello darkness, my old friend,
I've come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
"Cadman, you are strong." You were always the optimist Dad. I have always been small. I can't say I wanted to win.
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.
Weakness is something I have always battled with. Something I have constantly brawled in order to make myself feel acceptable. I wanted to be like the other boys. (denied a chance of being like them) I wanted to be tall, strong and masculine. A lack of muscles, a small stature, and a gentle voice all prevented me from fitting in. These things made me weak My family is probably watching me with bitter feelings of déjà vu. I can't say I ever really thought about them during my entrapment. I was too focussed on myself, on trying to escape, on pitying myself. Selfish. I never thought about my own flesh and blood. I never thought about how my disappearance caused them hurt. Selfish. It takes being brutally murdered in order for me to care about their wellbeing. I have been nothing but a snotty little shit for 15 years of life. Selfish. With my childish desire to kill Future I have damned the others to months or even years of torture. Selfish. I believed I was superior to the other puppets, superior to the other tributes, superior to all of those around me. I thought I was strong, but I am not strong. (You are inadequate)
In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
'Neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
The other arrow (sent by one of the boys you thought you could kill) makes it perfectly clear that I have never been a threat. The world wanted to confirm that it has ridden itself of Cadman Gertz, and ensure that he would never disgrace it with his presence again. The second arrow was nothing more than a symbol of a large bundle of misfortunes that were sent my way. That damn second arrow was the icing on the shit-show called my life.
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.
The other two allies escape, nothing more than a backwards glance at our corpses. (Let them go, its time to move on) I fight to remain watching the world below me. I know I have failed to be adequate for 15 years. I have been selfish, because I chose to pity myself when dealt bad situation. I have been arrogant because I believed I was superior. I lived a life filled with misfortune, and while others may have risen above their misfortune, chosen to rise above their situations. Other would have become better people, using their misfortune as a mold to shape themselves into something beautiful. But I let myself become something ugly, a blob of anger, pity and arrogance. I let my situation shape me into something worse than my kidnappers. Fueled by revenge I charged into uncharted territory. (you are your own downfall, but this is almost always the case)
(Action, reaction. Cause and effect. These are simple ideas Cadman Gertz, but you failed to grasp them) Stop. I know what is coming, but I turn away from it, because I am still weak. Not even death could change my ways. With newly humbled eyes, I continue to watch the living world. In the scorched arena the living continue to vie, but I no longer care about them. I turn towards the puppets, the ones I've damned. They were more innocent than I ever was, and I have robbed them of freedom. I turn towards my family. I chose to seek vengeance before talking to them. I have caused them more pain than two arrows to the eyes. Once again, I look away. I begin a search for some one I have not injured, some one who I have come in contact with and not left worse off. (You will not succeed) Shut up. Searching, a tornado of memories and thoughts arise. Each supports the idea that I am nothing more than a parasite, destined to bring pain with me.
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence.
In a world not yet explored, I fall to my knees. (Isolated from the rest, to prevent you from harming others.) I search for others, an acquaintance for this harrowing journey. And I find none. Instead I stumble upon a shoddy raft, laying within a black sea. Turning back I find nothing but darkness. Whatever awaits me lays ahead. So I step onto a rickety raft, and head off into my new life. The tides guide me, something unfamiliar to a boy from metallic District 3, and lead me towards a destination not yet revealed. (You have been egotistic, arrogant and pitiful. You are a bad omen, and leave destruction in your wake. But in your heart you are no worse than others)
The winds pick up, and take me towards a place darker than the black horizon. There I find myself amongst a jungle, with dark trees and black lakes. The shore is comprised of dark sand. I am alone, left to my own thoughts, punished in the kindest yet cruelest of ways. Isolated, but not completely alone. After hours of searching I find a small mirror partly buried under the dark sand. It shows me flashes of Earth, where I can watch others, but not touch them. It is perhaps the cruelest thing I have ever touched. (You can watch the world you left behind. But only see the things you have broken) I can see my family. I can see my allies. I can see the puppets. I can not help them, instead I get to see them fall to pieces. I get to feel their pain, but I can't ease it. This is my hell. This is my eternity.
"Fools," said I, "You do not know –
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you.
Take my arms that I might reach you."
But my words like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence
thank you's
Brair, Sahalie, and Jess- Thank you all for being the best allies I could have asked for. I'm just upset that our characters didn't get to interact more. I know that the Roses of Cimarron will continue to bloom amidst the heat of this arena.
Kay and Charade- Thank you guys for being amazing Gamemakers. You've made this the most enjoyable first games a boy could ask for. I want to thank you for being extremely helpful and understanding of first timers like me.
Anzie and Kiah- Thank you for starting the very plot that led to Cadman's creation. Good luck with Leon and Sonja, they are both great characters. And special thanks to Anzie for this amazing table!
Everyone who supported Cadman- THANK YOU! You guys are great! Meghan, Ani, Arctic, Pogue, and the list goes on and on.
All the other trib-owners- Good luck to all of you and being great opponents. You guys made these games great.
Cadman- Sorry I made your afterlife so sucky, you were a great tribute.
I LOVE ALL OF YA!
TEMPLATE BY ANZIE
