The Bloodbath
Sept 19, 2010 20:19:50 GMT -5
Post by [Ree]craft on Sept 19, 2010 20:19:50 GMT -5
Ember Milan
Lemon tree very pretty
And the lemon flower is sweet
But the fruit of the poor melon
Is impossible to eat.
Dreams. Non reality. Horrors… Nightmares. I am in the games. I am starving. Dying actually. Thirst closes my throat. I hold a lemon, neatly cut in half. I want to eat it. I want to sink my teeth into it’s bitter flesh, but I can’t. It’s impossible for me to get my teeth into. I lose strength and fall to the leafy ground. As my stomach seems to light on fire, and darkness begins to fade I awake with a start.
Above me is the neatly tiled ceiling of my capitol residence at the training center. My forehead is damp with sweat. My sheets lie tangled down the lower half of my body. I have been tossing, I have been twitching, and somehow I know, I have also been singing.
I sit up in bed and push my blond hair out of my face. It’s still dark outside but I get up anyway. I know I won’t be able to sleep again so what’s the point of trying? I dress in black. A black long sleeved shirt, long black pants, a black vest. No not a vest, more of a bodice. You can lace it up. And I do. I lace it up even tighter than my corset was laced for the interview. I don’t know why, but I want rigidity.
I sit at my desk and pull myself a piece of paper. I pick up a pen and let my hand wander on the smooth white sheet. Good quality paper. Smooth, thick, unblemished. After an hour of random lines my hand makes on it’s own, I look down. I’ve drawn a lemon, cut neatly in half. I’ve drawn a lemon flower surrounded by sugar. I’ve drawn a seagull, taking flight from a dock. That remind me… of a song. My father used to sing it. Something like: Beyond the sea… I’ll see you there… It had a catchy tune: Jazzy, rhythmic, but it was actually about death. I smile. Very fitting. I start to whistle the tune. I get up and exit my room. I think it’s nearly time to leave for the arena. I go into the hallway and scream:
“GET UP EVERYONE. IT’S A BRAND NEW DAY. EVERYONE UP, UP, UP!”
After a moment, people stumble into the hall wearing robes and rubbing their eyes blearily. I laugh. I sing. I skip. Some part of my mind says that this is wrong, but I ignore it. People grumble at me, and some people glance at me with a strange expression in their eyes. It take me a few moments to figure it out: Pity. Why do they pity me? I thought capitol people were incapable of it. My cheeks burn. I don’t like to be pitied.
I’m walking out to the hovercraft as cheerfully as I entered the hall. But as soon as I see the hovercraft. I stop dead. It’s like a cold electric current has run through my body. I saw the great silver shiny thing and it triggered some reaction in my mind: I’m going to the hunger games.
“I don’t want to go,” I say suddenly.
“You have to,” someone replies roughly. They steer me forward a few steps.
“No…” I complain. I’m nearly at the ladder. “I DON’T WANT TO GET ON THE HOVERCRAFT!”
I thrash, I fight, I scream. But they pick me up and stick me to the ladder. The ladder freezes me and brings me up into the hovercraft. I want to cry, but I'm frozen. I don’t even feel them stick the tracker in me. When the ladder finally releases me, the people on the hovercraft seem to think that I should be restrained. They bound my hands behind my back, but I feel like that’s pointless. All I do is collapse onto the floor of the hovercraft and sob.
“Lemon tree very pretty…” I hiccup and three tears stream down my face. “And the lemon flower is sweet.”
Another voice reaches me from somewhere. A light musical beautiful sing song voice. “But the fruit of the poor melon is impossible to eat.” The voice is perfectly on key, singing each note to perfection.
I look up in amazement for the speaker. I smile. Someone looks around and seems to be relieved I’ve calmed down. I sit up straight and don’t move. They unbind my hands, and it leaves red marks where the bristly-ness of it stuck into my skin. I feel slightly nervous and find myself twisting my hands behind my back. I don’t attempt to stop myself. If I manage to stop, I’ll find myself chewing my nails.
I am not crazy, I tell myself. I still have control over my mind. I am not crazy.
But the lemon tree song keeps playing in my head. Evidence towards the contrary.
Beneath the arena I am calm. I drink a glass of water, even eat a little. I sit and stair at the ceiling. I don’t pray for luck. I don’t even hope for anything. I don’t review my plan. I just sit and count the tiles on the ceiling. I am numb, unfeeling. I feel as if no one can touch me right now. I am under water. At the bottom of a deep deep pool, surrounded by beautiful blueness. I’m drowning, but I can’t get myself to be bothered about it. It’s like I’ve turned the switch for sound and feeling, off, but I don’t mind. I turned that switch willingly.
Somehow, I find myself on my metal plate. It lifts me up and I am blinking into the arena. I cannot hear anything except the thumping of my heart. I am still underwater. I look around and take in everything, but see nothing at the same time. I feel the cool wind on my face, but don’t feel it at the same time. I see the trees, I don’t see the trees. I see the great cornucopia, but don’t see the great golden horn. Some part of my mind tells me to focus on my plan remember what I need to do, but I ignore that small voice. I am content for now to stay underwater… alone.
But then a small voice out of no where starts to sing. A child’s voice.
Lemon tree very pretty
And the lemon flower is sweet
But the fruit of the poor melon
Is impossible to eat.
Like shattering glass, like emerging from freezing water, all the senses come back as the gong rings and I sprint for my life.