Incandescence Behind Rage (Tori)[Finished]

[Tori]

Pystan was a mess. Carter let her freak out momentarily, not wanting to interupt. What he was saying was finally sinking it. He smiled to himself, making sure it was hidden from her. Maybe one day he would become a teacher. Maybe he could change the world. Carter smiled at the tought of it. Returning to reality, Carter walked closer and finally wrapping his arms around Pystan. He had never given anyone a hug that wasn't his family, but he felt that now was the appropriate time to do so. He thought maybe Pystan might need one.

"I'm sorry I hurt you." He whispered. "I hope you forgive me. I just wanted you to see.." Carter trailed off. What had he wanted her to see? He let go of her and walked a few steps to the right, and stared up into the sky. Suddenly, Carter couldn't remember what had caused their shouting in the first place. He looked back at Pystan trying to figure out what he should do now. Should he keep telling her these things until she realised, or should he stop? He didn't want to hurt her, but was not telling her, hurting her?

He didn't know. Like she had said, everything was so confusing. He walked back over to her, and pushed a piece of her hair from her face. Maybe they would be friends. He smiled at the thought. His first real friend. Carter almost laughed at the thought of how it had started. "M-maybe we should clean you up." he said. "Any suggestions as t-to where to go?" His stumbling had come back as if nothing had happened, and he was mad at himself for it. He had been talking to her so easily before. Maybe he was still just shy because he wasn't sure how he was going to react.

[Prince Inigo]

"I'm fine..." Pystan answered. "It's okay. There's nothing to apologize or forgive." She wiped reddened eyes with the back of her hand, sniffling. The gentle stroke of Carter brushing a strand of hair from her stained face was, actually, appreciated. A weak smile was returned as thanks.

The blond batted saddened eyes at the sudden stuttering, then she laughed softly and truly. "I suppose we should. I don't know where, though. Not my house, that's for sure. Mother and Father would go hysterical."

[Tori]

"Actually, I know a place." Carter whispered when Pystan said they couldn't return to her house. Carter tried not to think of the place very much, but as they couldn't go to his house, there was no where else. "It's not far from here. But it's not my house. Follow me." The place truely wasn't far from where they were now, but Carter knew if would feel very far away as he walked there. It was the place where he had had one of his longest and worst blackouts. The place of his sister's accident.

He couldn't remember what happened, since he blacked out after all, but it was still a horrible memory. Carter's sister had been on the swing and he had wanted a turn. When she wouldn't let him, he got really upset. He blacked-out then. But Carter knew when he woke up that his sister was in serious condition. Somehow she had fallen off the ledge. That accident had cost her the use of her legs. Carter used to have nightmares that he did it. he was the one responsible. But his parents assured him he didn't. How could he know though. How could anyone but her know? Carter was gone, and his parents weren't there. He knew she knew the truth, but she always calimed not to remember it.

"This way." Carter whispered as he lead Pystan there. He walked into the area and took a deep breath. He hadn't been here in a long time. The brook was a few feet in front of him, and the waterfall was only 25 or so feet off. He remembered that the hill in front of him was only about 10 feet tall, but had still managed to end his sister's walking career due to the sharp rock that lay in the water beneath it. Carter looked up and fought tears as he saw the swing attached to the same tree as several years previous.

Biting his lip, he turned back to Pystan. "You can wash up here if you like. If you need time or space to yourself, I can find a place to wander away to. When your done, if you want, you can come to my house is you still can't go home. I'm sure your hungry. And we'll have to watch the recap of the reaping that will be on tonight." Carter stood there, holding his hands and twiddling his thumbs as he waited for her replied. he couldn't stop looking up towards the swing.

[Prince Inigo]

Like a duckling, Pystan followed Carter to the unspecified location. She had guessed water was to be involved in some way. The girl had come to thinking about the statements she spoke of prior, one in particular bothering her the most: the childhood dream.

In the dream, a dark-haired girl nearing adulthood would tease around a weird blue-headed boy, who did reach manhood. She was sometimes mean-spirited, poked fun in immeasurable accounts, and lied just to have inside fun. Yet, she was still likable, in her own outrageous way. She had considered the guy a precious person, even when he did not reciprocate the sentiment; but, even with that put aside, he had fun with her in his own way, his jokes far exceeding her own.

This girl was Amaya. Though she could be dramatic, strange and weird, she was her own person.

The crashing of a distant waterfall interrupted Pystan's pondering. Her eyes focused; she got a slap of beauty across her face. Coming from an elegant lifestyle surrounded by gentlemen and ladies in a room bursting of light and energy as crystals and gems accentuated the brightness, the blond had not experienced true natural grandeur. She was looking around like a child, turning her head left and right a numerous amount of times, feeding her eyes candy.

Everything was clean to her. No light bulbs, chandeliers, or candles to radiate the area; nothing was artificial.

Pystan turned to Carter to comment about the area but stopped herself, noting his tics. "Carter, is something wrong?" She grew concerned. "You're nervous, or anxious. I can see that with your thumbs and in your eyes."

[Tori]

OOC: In case you stat to get confused, Carter has DID. Which is a double personality disorder. Lang is his other crueler half and will be played in a different colour. Also, Lang knows everything that happens to Carter, but Carter does not even know Lang exists. (read bio for more info)

Pystan seemed slightly suprised when she saw the surroundings. Carter wandered if she had every been somewhere like this before. He supposed not many people knew about this place as it was on the very edge of the district and hardly anyone was supposed to know about it. As she turned to Carter, she seemed to sense something was wrong and asked him. Carter inhaled deeply, staring at the swing, feeling he hadn't felt in a while bubbling to the surface.

"I'm fine, Pystan." Carter tried to reassure her. Was he really that much of an open book that people he had just met that knew nothing about him could tell when something was wrong? He would have to work harder to contain his feelings. "It's just this place doesn't bring back happy memories. It's not a place I come to often, I don't like to be reminded of certain events in my life."

Carter turned around. He could feel himself beginning to hypervenilate and he didn't want Pystan to see. The thoughts were caroading his mind. It's your fault. It's your fault. You did that to her Carter. Suddenly, he could feel one of the black outs coming as he became angrier and angrier at himself. He wouldn't be able to supress this one and he knew it. Fear grasp the last few seconds of his consciousness. Fear of what he might do. Everything went black.

Lang turned back around to face Pystan. "Though it's not like you would really care. Why don't you just clean up so we can get the hell out of here." He glared at Pystan, wanting her to hurry up. Lang wanted to be home in time for dinner he was starving, and not to mention upset. All day Carter had been screaming at this girl and trying to be nice. Lang hated her already and he hadn't even spoken to her directly. "Hurry." he spit.

[Prince Inigo]

(Okay. Thanks. xD I read before. :3 lol Confusion~ )

"Carter?" A tiny surge of panic coursed through Pystan as she watched the boy hyperventilate. Her head sharply turned left and right, uncertain of an action to do, a thought to think. She could not pinpoint significant conditions Carter was under to do a thing.

She stopped looking frantically as he spoke, but differently. Harshly. The girl was caught by surprise, entrapped of coherent thinking. "Carter?" Pystan asked again. "What's the matter? Are you okay?" The blond had a negative feeling.

She felt she was facing a true Career.

[Tori]

"Carter?" Lang laughed at the thought that he could ever be poor loving Carter who let people walk all over him. "I'm Lang. Nothing else. You'll be good to stick to that." Lang once pummeled a kid who called him Carter several times in a row. th thought made him smile as he remember the kid yelling in pain. Pystan asked it he was okay. Once again, Lang laughed. "Okay? I'm better than okay. I haven't bee here in a long time. There are big memories stored in this place, you know."

And idea flashed through Lang's head. "Hurry up, princess, and wash off the blood and crap. When you're done I'll be up there by that swing." Lang pointed to the one attached to the tree on the top of the hill. The swing he had pushed Carter's sister off that day. Lang hurried away from Pystan, running rather than walking, to the swing. Once there he hopped on and pushed off with his feet, the wind blowing in the hair. When Pystan came to see him he wanted to be able to show he the view.. below.

ooc: I promised Lang won't hurt her! Plus I can't powerplay anyways. lol

[Prince Inigo]

The whites of Pystan's eyes boldly showed. No words were able to come out of her throat, or even be processed by her mind. She thought of Carter being much like a coin. What triggered the rear end?

She watched as 'Lang' sprint to the swing Carter - she assumed, judging by the angle and general direction - was staring at. Pystan walked off, shakily, to the brook, babbling her to her senses. Her hands cupped precious pure water and cleansed away dried, cracking blood streams off her arms and face. She did the process multiple times, fiercely scrubbing away evidence. After doing so, the girl applied dabs to the crimson spots on her dress, the best she could do other than dunking the entire gown into the brook.

Pystan was thinking during the entire cleaning. Her eyebrows curved upward at times, sometimes normal, and other times frantic out of confusion. The shake of her head confirmed more bewilderment.

She returned to the swing area, ready. The blond erased away fear and anxiety to come out of her mouth. "'Lang', is it?" Pystan called absent of negativity. "What do you have to show or tell me? The 'princess' expects an answer."

[Tori]

When Pystan arrived, Lang jumped off his swing smiling. She seemed to be suspious of him and Lang thought she might be toying with him. "Oh? I didn't want to show you anything, princess." Lang repied, he mind spinning at his plan. It would be just like the previous event. "I simply said to meet me up here when you were done. This swing just holds so many memories." Lang laughed as he looked longingly at it.

"But now that you've come all the way up here, why not admire the view, it's rather spectacular." Lang walked to the edge of the hill, next to the waterfall. Had he ever taken real time to sit there and see everything, he might have actually enjoyed the lovely site. Once Pystan had finally followed him over, he weighted until she was close enough to the edge to push off, like he had Carter's baby sister, many years ago.

After a moment when she did not step closer, Lang became irked. He grabbed her arm and forcibly pulle her closer to him. He dug his nails as far into her skin as he could hoping to hurt her and see the fear in her eyes. "You want to die!?" he yelled losing control. "You're ready for death!?" Lang rasied his other hand, attempting to slap her across the face. He hasn't even aware if he made contact or not. And he didn't care. "ALLOW ME TO ASIST YOU WISH YOUR WISH!"

ooc: yay! Lang's about to go bye bye. anyways, you have the option to be hit or avoid it, and idk if you want to start crying from fear, or yelling at Lang, but whatever you do, I'll have it trigger Carter's return(:

[Prince Inigo]

Pystan braced herself for the worst, not allowing any emotion but true rage manifest on her face. She was going to take any action 'Lang' would do with nothing more but anger and, possibly, surprise. The girl did not try to struggle. "You're going to assist? Do it, then! Throw me over! I'm NOT afraid of you or your attitude."

She spat, "DO IT! Get your pleasure out of it! I've been ready whenever and wherever!" Pystan slit her green eyes into a menacing shape, a daring shape. "Be ready to laugh at the best part!!"

I'll be smirking just like Amaya when I get over the edge. I'll bet you that, Lang!

[Tori]

Pystan was screaming. She was screaming at him, Lang. Lang who was about to throw if off the hill. It wasn't going to be as much fun as before if she wasn't going to struggle. The slight bruise on her face was pinkening and with every yell she made, Lang wanted to hit her again. He shook her hard, yelling back at her. "Who do you think you are!? You're going to die, princess!" Her last sentence was unsettling. Laugh? Laugh at what?

Lang realized what was happening. he was losing control something was making it to Carter. Something emotionally connected to him. "NO!" Lang was screaming. He threw Pystan to the ground away from the edge and fell to his knees. Pystan kept screaming things at him, and Carter was screaming things now too. Lang didn't know how how to regain control again, and with that, he began to be supressed once more. One day, I'll kill you, Carter.

Carter was on his side, laying on the ground. He was screaming and his hands were covering his head. He heard a girl's voice shouting something as well. It sounded familar. Carter sat up immediately and tried to figure out his located. What had happened? Where was he? He looked around, seeing that he was on the top of the hill, next to the swing.

Pystan was on the ground, not to far again from him. She was yelling at him, but he couldn't make sense of it. He was still in a daze. Reality smacked him in the face when he saw fresh blood on Pystan's arm. "Pystan!" he yelled standing up and running toward her. "Pystan, are you okay?" The blood was coming from several small wounds in her arm that resembled nail imprints. After a moment, Carter notice the slight bruise on Pystan's face. He touched it gently, and she shyed away from his touch. "What happened to you?"

A moment later, Carter found himself backing up from her. He was satring at his hands. He put them up to his face and realised he was hyperventialating again. "Pystan." he whispered, barely audible. "D-did I do this to you?" Carter felt tears stream from his eyes. How could he be this monster and not know about it. What had happened? "Pystan. I-I'm so s-sorry." Carter choked on his words, and stood and ran. He ran down the hill and kept running for a few minutes, until it was almost dark. He found comfort behind a tree, and sat and sobbed there.

How could he hurt Pystan. He had just met her and they were becoming friends. No matter how tough she seemed, she was smaller and younger than Carter, and seemed more fragile. How could he have done such a thing? Carter wanted to apologise and give his a hug and hold her. Or maybe, Carter wanted someone to hold him.

He wanted someone to explain to him what was going on and why he was such a monster. He wanted someone to tell him that everything would be okay, and that this never really happened. Carter wanted to know he wasn't a monster. But there was no denying that now. He must have been the one to hurt his sister. Carter started to cry harder at the thought that his sister never being able to walk again was his fault and only his.

Carter was once again all alone in the world. He didn't know what to do or how to do it. he was confused and lost. He needed to find help, otherwise he would only keep hurting people. What is wrong with me? the sky fell dark, but Carter didn't move. he just continued to cry.

ooc: yay! so we can choose to end the thread now, or I guess Pystan could follow him. your choice

[Prince Inigo]

The grass was soft but bit fiercely when rubbed against the fresh nail cuts. Pystan could see her blood splatter onto green as she was tossed aside. All pain gained went at Carter's screaming. Her voice automatically yelled, none fazing him, and it only ceased as he came to her.

The coin had flipped again, it seemed, yet she could not help feeling defensive, cautious. At his touch to the slap 'his' hand made, the blond flinched, a natural spasm. She regained some sense, though, while Carter, hyperventilating, stared at his hands. Any mention of reassurance, caught in her throat, watching as Carter sped off.

Moments passed before Pystan rose from the healthy turf. Her body shook and shivered, new trails of crimson creeping down her arms. She did not want to clean herself up; instead, the girl pursued sluggishly.

"Carter!" she called, one hand cupping the side of her mouth. "Carter! Come back!" There was new emotion stirring in her heart, but she could not identify which.

[Tori]

Why did she follow me? Why does she want to see me? Thoughts kept running through Carter's mind. What had he done? What had happened? He placed his hands on his knees and his head between them so that he was hunched over and able to cry quietly. How could he have done that? Carter knew it was him too, there was no hiding it. Pystan had flinched when he touched her, and it had to be her blood under his fingernails.

Why? WHY?! "WHY!?" Carter screamed, not caring if Pystan heard him or not. He would not be returning home tonight. Or ever again. Had his parents known that this is what happened during his black-out spells? Had they kept this from him? Carter thought of his sister. Did she know that he was one who had done that to her?

Carter continued crying, his face was dirty know as face from all the time he angrily hit the ground and then buried his face in his hands. "Why?" he whispered to himself. "Why am I like this?" Carter considering moving away from his current position because Pystan would surely have heard his scream, but he thought better of it. He deserved to be found. Deserved whatever was coming for him. She needed to yell at him. Pystan needed to find him. He was a monster. So, the monster waited, crying silently now.

[Prince Inigo]

Pystan pinpointed Carter's location by his shouting, but she could not increase her speed. The defense mechanism installed in every human body impeded her movement.

She got to the position eventually, her eyes looking down at Carter as she looked around the tree. The blond walked to the front of him and knelt down, her senses still high in case of unexpected encounters to come.

"I don't know why," she began, "and I'm a bit frightened, to tell the truth, but that's how it is." Pystan feebly attempted a small smile. Her muscles tensed as her hand gently tried to pry one of Carter's off his face. "Stop hiding. Let me see you. Time to stop playing peek-a-boo."

[Tori]

Pystan found him, and came near with regardless of what happened. Carter braced himself for the words coming. She admitted she was slightly scared. This might have her Carter more than yelling would have. He was a monster and even she knew it. She was scared of him. But why was she here then? Why had she ran after him if she wasn't go to yell at him or hit him? Why is she here?

She grabbed on to one of his hands and tried to pull them away from his face while she spoke. Carter gave in and let his hand hold on to hers as he removed them from his wet face. He didn't even want to imagine how bad he looked. Dirt and tears. His hair must have been a mess as well. Carter imagined his eyes puffy and red. But then he wondered if she could even see his face with the light becoming nonexistent as night took over.

"Why?" Carter whispered, as he tried to find Pystan's eyes in the dark. "Why did I do this? What happened to me? I d-don't remember anything." Carter bite his lip until it started bleeding, trying to hold back the sobs. He didn't care if she thought him weak or a baby. "I'm sorry." Carter grabbed Pystan's hands with both of his. "I didn't mean to. I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry." He squeezed her hand trying to make her understand that the Carter there now wasn't going to hurt.

For the moment, the monster was gone. But for how long? Had this always been what happened when he blacked out? I have to ask my parents. I'll make them tell me! "I'm sorry, Pystan, please forgive me." Carter was sitting closer to her now, begging for forgiveness, he didn't want her to think him a monster. She had called him sweet before. He wanted her to still think of him that way. His tears were subsiding and he started to wonder where he would go to sleep to night. Home? And face his parents?