Guessing Games {Lyss}[FIN]

[lyss]

.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.
Cause I
I finally realized
That I can't get you off my mind
.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.

“You said ‘love’. You said you’ve told girls that you love them before, but not meant it. Is that what you’re telling me, but for real? Do you love me?”

Love. A word Rowan rarely used. A word he rarely recieved. He had no idea what it felt like to love somebody. Of course, he loved his parents and brother and sister, but he had never really loved a girl. Like he had just said, he'd told girls he loved them, but he didn't mean it. He had no idea if he loved Nee. He wanted to say yes, but he didn't want it to be a lie. He needed to think, hard.

Rowan has a small supply of love, and what's left of it is locked up in a safe. Only people with the right combination get their share of it.

Now that Rowan thought about it, he had loved a girl before. Three years ago, he went out with a girl named Ivy. They had gone out for about a year and a half. He had loved her, I mean, why wouldn't he? She was pretty, smart, funny, and everything else he liked in girls. When Ivy turned fourteen, she turned into a major slut. She cheated on Rowan with tons of other guys, but he never seemed to care. He pushed through it until his fifteenth birthday. That day, that had been officially going out for a year and five months. At the small birthday party his parents could afford, Ivy frenched with his best friend right in front of him. Rowan was unsure what to do and say. He had cried for the rest of that night. For a whole month, they ignored each other until her best friend told him one day it was over.

Rowan had turned a little bit hard, his heart freezing over. He remembered being crude to Nee that year. Lashing out all his pain on her.

He tried to remember the feeling he had for Ivy, and he was sure he felt that way about Nee. He wasn't sure if it had been real love with Ivy, though. He felt what he felt with Ivy, but times ten. Was that love? It had to be, right? If it was, he wasn't going to tell Nee without being sure he'd be loved back. Maybe not today, maybe not this month, but at some point.

Would Nee be worth it?

Without a doubt.

Rowan shifted uncomfortably. He wasn't sure how to word it right. He wanted to say something better than just I love you. He suddenly remembered something his father had said to his mother.

"A hundred hearts would be too few to carry all my love for you," he paused, trying to think of what else he could say. "I'd love you if you were a silly Capitol girl. I'd go into the games if it meant saving you. There are too many cheesy things myparents have said that I want to say, but sometimes, actions speak louder than words."

It had taken a little long for Nee to catch the hints he had dropped earlier, but he was hoping that it wouldn't take Nee that long to realize what was going on now.

"So, yes, I love you," he whispered, leaning towards Nee.

Rowan tilted his head as he had so many times before. He leaned towards Nee, hoping not to take her by surprise. He softly pressed his lips against Nee's, kissing her more sweetly than he had with other girls. He close his eyes, and could almost feel his lips turn up in a smile. This is what it felt like to love somebody.

[gemmawolf]

He shifted about, looking uncomfortable. And Nee could hardly blame him, seeing as she had just asked him a question with so much riding on the answer. I’ll know if he means what he says, she thought, waiting for what he had to say. He finally opened his mouth and said, "A hundred hearts would be too few to carry all my love for you... I'd love you if you were a silly Capitol girl. I'd go into the games if it meant saving you. There are too many cheesy things my parents have said that I want to say, but sometimes, actions speak louder than words."

It took a second for the last part to sink in, but she understood it. And when he told her that he loved her, she knew that it was true. Her heart pounded as he leant towards her, but she let him come as close as he wanted to. She was scared – no, scared wasn’t the right word for how she felt. There was nothing bad about what was happening. But nervous didn’t quite sum it up. But that was just a tiny, tiny fraction of the emotions swirling inside her heart, and when their eyes closed and lips touched, the fear, the anxiety; it melted away to leave nothing but purely requited love.

She felt him smile. Weird I thought you could only see smiles. She joined in, careful not to show her teeth so that they could stay together for longer. Without knowing, her arms had linked around the back of his neck and lay resting on his shoulders. This is crazy, she decided, we’re crazy, but it’s wonderful. She had never been kissed by a boy before, and she never thought in a million years that it would be Rowan Springer that would take her first kiss. But now she couldn’t see how it could have been anyone else.

Footsteps. Multiple pairs. She didn’t care. There was nothing more important than this. But the voice made her jump out of her skin. “Rowan?!” She broke away, lost her balance and fell backwards onto the hard packed earth, staring in horror at the group of boys that they had broken away from earlier. “We’ve been looking for you.” The first one glared at her. She looked from face to face; she couldn’t place any names, but she knew them as the bunch that usually tormented her with Rowan.

She switched her look back to Rowan, not bothered that her expression shone with worry. What will he do? Will he abandon me? It was different when they were alone; no one was there to sway the decisions, they could both open up. But now what? She honestly believed that he wouldn’t turn on her now, but deep down there was still that nagging voice that she had begun to name her instinct. Don’t trust him, Nee, the voice whispered. She had never relied on the voice before, and she wouldn’t now; rational decisions were key, not a hunch. But it was still there. The fear. The hurt. The loneliness.

The two at the back of the group sniggered while another asked, “So what’s all this about, Rowan? A new way to wind her up? Or something else?” There was malice in his tone, daring him to object. “Aren’t you one of us?”

She looked back to Rowan, straight into his eyes, and whispered, hoping that only he would catch her words. “Give me the chance to love you.”

[lyss]

.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.
Give me the chance to love you
I'll tell you the only reason why
Cause youuu are on my mind.
.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.

Rowan felt Nee wrap her arms around his neck, and his heart beat so fast he was sure it would explode. He wanted to hold Nee forever, but he knew that it would last long as he heard a footstep. He heard many footsteps, and soon enough, he found himself face to face with his friends.

“Rowan?! We’ve been looking for you.”

Nee was the one to break the kiss, falling backwards, smacking her head on the ground. Her eyes widened in horror, and all Rowan could do was just nod. He couldn't believe they actually looked for him. What had they thought? That Nee had beat him up and he was laying on the ground, withering in pain?

Something snapped in Rowan. Anger flashed through his eyes. What had Nee done to him? Like he had said earlier, he had told many girls he loved them, which meant he could get any girl he wanted without losing his friends. Not only were his friends on the line, but so was his reputation. Reputation was practically everything to Rowan. He cared too much what other people thought of him; he practically lived off his peer's approval.

He could almost hear the words in his head. Player. Hot head. Arrogant. Bipolar. Jackass.

Bipolar. Rowan's eyes turned into the eyes of a puppy. What was he thinking? Had he never learned? All those names could be gone if he admitted what he felt for Nee. All it took was a few words.

The two at the back of the group sniggered while another asked, “So what’s all this about, Rowan? A new way to wind her up? Or something else?” There was malice in his tone, daring him to object. “Aren’t you one of us?”

"Of course I am. You guys are my best friends. But this... this was just..." Rowan struggled on what to say.

He barely caught Nee whisper, “Give me the chance to love you.”

"But this... it's real. I'm tired of us making our priority torturing Nee. What did she ever do to us? Just because she's a girl, working in the lumberyard, that means we should make fun of her? Imagine being her, being teased everyday by a group of popular jerks like us. If you think that me liking Nee makes me some foreign person to you, then go ahead and leave. I don't care. My reals friend won't care."

Rowan watched as their "ringleader" quickly left the room and his protege hesitantly followed.

Good, he thought. Nobody liked them anyways.

Rowan walked over to Nee and helped her up. He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close to him. Today had been such a long day, and he was ready to go home and sleep. He was almost ready to leave, when an idea popped in his head. He leaned over and whispered in Nee's ear,"You know how people always say how romantic it is to dance in the rain? I've always wanted to test that theory.."

Without even bothering to wait for an answer, he lightly grabbed one of Nee's wrists and pulled her out into the misting rain with him.

ooc: Weird pictures, I know. But it's kinda describing how those two guys now see Rowan as, a monster.

[gemmawolf]

"But this... it's real. I'm tired of us making our priority torturing Nee. What did she ever do to us? Just because she's a girl, working in the lumberyard, that means we should make fun of her? Imagine being her, being teased everyday by a group of popular jerks like us. If you think that me liking Nee makes me some foreign person to you, then go ahead and leave. I don't care. My reals friend won't care.”

Nee let out a ragged breath as the group left them alone. She’s had little doubt of Rowan’s decision, but still there had been that nagging voice. But that voice was silenced now; what did it know about love? What do I know about it? she asked herself. Not much, but I can learn. He helped her to her feet and pulled her close and whispered, "You know how people always say how romantic it is to dance in the rain? I've always wanted to test that theory..."

She blushed and smiled uncontrollably until he pulled her out into the rain. It had eased off into an easier, gentle fall, settling as a fine mist and light droplets rather than the full-blown storm that it had been earlier. Nee had danced before, but never with someone else. It was always her standing on her bed with her sister, singing terribly at the top of their voices and messing around with the moves that were taking the teenage girls by storm; but this was so much different.

Her hair was already getting heavy from the moisture by the time he put his hand on her waist, and her’s on his shoulder, while they held hands with the others. They began to circle slowly, but she didn’t take her eyes off his. She stepped in puddles, got her feet wet, but she didn’t care. This mattered more than anything else. She rested her head on his shoulder, her mind tumbling through the events that had led them to this point; the misunderstanding early on in their careers, their battles of words and wit, the shock of being forced together that day, the talk, the kiss. His choice.

What if it doesn’t work out? She ignored her own question. If it didn’t, that was life, but who said what was going to happen in the future? Now she had the chance to share love with someone else, a feeling that she never expected to find in the lumberyard of all places. The rain was cool; she pulled herself closer to his body, for heat and sanctuary. Her free hand found its way into his hair, running her fingers through the smooth texture. For the first time in a while, her heart slowed, calm and contented. There was only her, him, and the rain. Not a thing in the world could match that. Because I can’t get you off my mind.