getting away {open}

[loralaifrost]

Nomey watches him and frowns as he still seems to be suffering from this episode. She notices his hand is clenched into a fist and she cautiously reaches for it not knowing how he will react. If he will let her she will take his hand and massage the muscles of his palm and fingers with her own hands to try to relieve some of his discomfort.

"You were out there for at least an hour. It's getting pretty late. I can make you a bed by the fire if you like. You shouldn't be walking the streets at this hour. The peacekeepers will think youre up to no good if they catch you." She chances a look up into his eyes.

"I realy don't want you to leave when youre like this Hilent. My folks wont mind if you stay.. Everyone will be gone by the time we wake anyway.." She explains. "My brothers have work in the early hours and my Father will likely head to the woods as early as possible so he can salvage scraps of bark and things before the peacekeepers start to gether near the mills to watch the workers. Mom will be off to Mrs.Davenport's house to see if she can clean for some vegetables from her garden. It's Sunday so.. Usually I'm the only one here for most of the day. You could keep me company." She looked at him hopefully. She wondered if his parents would worry or if he had a job to get to. She still wasn't sure where in the district he had come from. Who he was. But she was getting the feeling that she wanted to know. That she cared to find out.

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[Kingly]

She has pleading in her voice. I know peacekeepers are suspicious of everyone, but it's their job. Some of them take it too far, others show sympathy. It depends on how lucky you get. Luck plays games with all of us.
Now she's staring into my eyes with those ambers of hers. I feel her hand take hold of my left. She massages it, which honestly helps the aftermath of my experience. The sensations don't ease the pain, but they soothe it at least. And it feels comforting.
"I will have to leave come morning, for reasons my own. But I will stay the night. I know you have questions, some I may answer. Others, not. If I disappoint you, I'm sorry, but some skeletons should stay in the closet."
I'll regret that line. Heard a peacekeeper say it back in 8, seemed to fit. But that hope she had in her eyes. I recognize it. I've seen it so many times, more than I can count.
She's just a friend now, a good friend. She's special, but not more special than the last one, or the one before that, or the hundreds before that. She's a girl. Walk when you have the chance.
I have to force these words through my head. It kills me to think them, but I repeat them over and over again no matter how painful it gets. The words take root though I fool myself into believing them, but everything in me fights against it.
My eyes are still matched with Nomey's as I soften my expression, trying to look as peaceful and innocent as possible. I'd hate to hurt her. "If I could get a bed, that would make me very thankful."

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[loralaifrost]

Nomey listens to him talk with a small smile on her face. He was opening up a little. That made her happy. "I don't have to ask questions." She said softly. "You can tell me things, if you want.." She released his hand and sat back a little in the chair. "But, it's not a requirement." When he asked for a bed she nodded. "You can sleep in my bed, of course." She pointed to a wooden door across the room. "It's just through there."

Nomey reached behind them and grabbed a blanket off of the back of the chair and draped it over herself. Inside she was shocked. Somehow her voice did not betray her wild and nervous thoughts. She used him as a focal point and it calmed her. She didn't want to think about him sleeping in her bed or wondering what it would be like to sleep in there next to him. But she couldn't really help her imagination taking off.

Her thoughts ran with the ideas and she wondered how red her face was. Don't think about it. He isn't thinking about it.. Wait.. Is he? Her eyes darted to his. No definitely not. He wouldn't be thinking of me like that. I shouldn't be thinking of it either I just met him. She bit her lip and looked to the fire trying to think of anything else but the bed situation. Nomey had never even kissed a boy before, her brothers made sure of that. Plus there was never really anyone of interest. Sure, she thought boys were cute before, but she was way to shy to approach a boy.

Nomey instinctively shied away from physical contact and affection. She wondered now why she wanted it so badly right then and with him. Maybe it was his eyes or the way he was so sure about carrying her all the way home like it was his duty to take care of her. She didn't know what it was particularly but it was there. A sort of glue that made her want to get attached to him. She did her best to ignore it and watch the fire flicker and lick at the wood in the blackened stove. He would be leaving in the morning and who knew if she would ever see him again.
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[loralaifrost]

(OOC: Kingly please check your private messages. It has to do with this scene.))

[Kingly]

She offered a listening ear, most likely because she's curious about my tale. Many people are. I try not to think about it as she offers her own bed.
Her own bed? I'm not sure I should take that offer. Last time someone did that... something happened... a long time ago.
Just before I left district eight behind, I met this girl. She was both a little bigger, and a little older than myself. She had accidentally run into me while carrying a basket of needles. One had stabbed me through the leg. She was young, beautiful, took me home to get fixed up. It was odd for her to find someone my age at the time wandering about, no parents, no home. I had slept mainly in the disposal bins from the factories, they were always full of mis-made clothing and unwanted clothing ready to be recycled. But that night, there was a spark between me and that girl. And that night... we took each other. I remember it so vividly, I wonder if she remembers me. It was so long ago.
But I remember how her father tried to kill me the next morning when he found us. He chased me out still throwing clothes on. He had brought with him a pair of scissors to strike me with. And they were big ones for cutting leather. I had barely escaped after peacekeepers had taken him down for wielding a weapon. I had to talk the peacekeeper out of a death sentence for the girl's father. Instead he got thirty lashes and me a severe beating. I had managed to get away after while he was passed out.
But now, Nomey? Could that same spark arise? No. Push that thought out. But is she thinking so about me? I don't know. I don't want anyone getting hurt. But pulls from inside me, the way Nomey acts so shyly... I don't know what to think, or say, or do even.
But I can't help but pass a look toward her. Taking in how the fire light dances on her face, a perfect reflection of lashing flames in her eyes. She glances at me, then down with a red face. In reaction, I do the same. What ever she's thinking, it has to be about me. Is that good or bad? My mind is too warped to decide now.
"I think I'll be off to sleep. Thank you Nomey, for everything."
I take her hand, I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do, but I take it and rub it softly before getting up. "where are you sleeping tonight? If you don't mind me asking."

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[loralaifrost]

Nomey does her best to keep her eyes away from him but as he speaks she finds it impossible not to look at him. When he takes her hand and rubs his thumb over her skin it feels so tender. It feels so private to her. She watches his bright blue eyes turned Gray by the orange light of the fire. He is close enough, she thinks, to just lean in and press her lips against his. She swallows the thought down with the lump in her throat.

He asks her a question. She nearly misses it entirely, enthralled by his gentile touch. "I will be here.." Her voice cracks and she swallows again. "I will sleep here by the fire." She doesn't mean for her voice to sound like such a whisper but she can't help it. Her eyes look down at her hand in his and it feels right to her.

She starts to tremble from fear and excitement and feeling so unsure. Her eyes look back up into his and she wants to know what he is thinking. If he notices her nervousness. He's not blind. She tells herself. She looks down and away from him. She's embarrassed. He's showed no interest in her. There's no reason for her to feel and act so juvenile. But he did touch her hand. Did that mean something? Was she imagining the emotion between them? Was it entirely hers? It could be.

She needed to get over it now before it swept her away. But it was too late. She couldn't look at him and not feel the pull to touch him. So she lied to herself. Just a boy. A friend. Not a boyfriend. He doesn't like you like that. Stop fooling yourself.[/i] It hurt but it made her feel better superficially. It made her want to keep her hands to herself and that was what mattered. At least in her mind at that moment that's what mattered. It only took a moment. One look. She looked into his eyes again and her resolve crumbled once more. She was loosing this battle.
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[Kingly]

I feel it in her hand, a tremble. So nervous is she, and her voice cracks when she answers me. I know what is bothering her.
It's me. Leaving.
She has feelings.
I have feelings.
I'm not sure what would hurt her more, my leaving or staying. I'm so tired that the very predicament becomes unintelligible. I can't decipher my own emotions as they unravel into a studded carpet as I trip down the halls of my own mind. Through all the confusion, I just empty it out, forget it all.
Gently, I give her the best of my smiles, still holding her hand as I sit back down beside her. "Is there something you want to say?" I use my most soothing tone possible, not even bothering to disguise myself. For inside my chest, my heart picks up pace. From either her, or the moment, I don't know, but it is a more rapid beat. Subtly, I place a hand against her cheek, brushing over her scar with my thumb. At this point, my heart is pounding. Emotions... getting the better of me. The control I had, faded with my lack of decent sleep. I'm so tired... I lean in closer to Nomey. Is there anything, anything at all you want to say?"
With the one hand still against her cheek, the other slips into her hand once more.

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[loralaifrost]

That smile. Devastating. How could anyone ever say no to him? Her heart ran a marathon in her chest. "Is there something you want to say?" He asked. There were so many things, she didn't know where to start. Kiss me you fool! Rang out pretty clear in her thoughts above all the rest. She watched his eyes feeling completely hopeless. By the time his hand caressed her face she was lost to him.

He leaned in just a little and said something. It didn't register. She was already on her way to meet him. She kissed him gently. Just a slow press of her lips against his. The kiss only lasted maybe four seconds but it felt like so long. She pulled her lips from his and kept her eyes closed for just a second before opening them and focusing on him. "Not much to say really." She whispered the words with her face lingering just a few inches from his.


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[Kingly]

There's no doubt now. She feels for me. The kiss, all too passionate. All too real.
I desire more.
In her whispers she says she has nothing to important to say, but actions speak louder than words. And her actions have spoke true. I close in slowly as she did to me. We meet again. My lips pressing with hers, locked so tightly I don't want to pull away.
And that's it for me, I've given in to emotions, or at least got away from the terrible world. At least a little while so to enjoy this one moment. I feel her squeeze my hand so tightly, almost in a way that...
I have one question. I pull away only an inch, as so are our lips still only a breath apart. Softly, in a hushed voice, I ask, "Where do we go from here?"
I don't want to frighten her, but I need to know. The world may have gone away for the moment, but this worry is for the moment. A moment not about me, or survival, or Panem. Instead, a moment for her, for her to enjoy, for us to savor.

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[loralaifrost]

He kissed her again and her stomach twisted with need. She placed her free hand at his strong jaw as they kissed. When he pulled away again to speak she whined a small groan not wanting him to ever break from her again. "Where do we go from here?" She had no idea. Her eyes flashed to the bedroom door but she couldn't say it. She didn't know if she was ready for this, but god help her, she wanted it. It made her bones ache and her stomach do flips. It made her heart pound in her chest like a drum.

Her hand dropped to his lap and gripped the loose fabric of his pants knee. Her other hand held tightly to his. "I want..." What did she want? She wanted to be with him. To sleep next to him. But it was more than that and they both knew it. She wanted his time and his touch and his company, but still, more even than that. "You." She whispered. "I want you. I want to stay with you." Both statements were true. Nomey licked her lips and could taste him. He tasted like warm rain on her tongue.

How vulnerable she felt. Powerless. Right then she knew that she more than liked him. She would suffer heartbreak when he went back up north or wherever he had come from. She couldn't think of that now though. Not with him so close. His breath mingling with hers. She took a deep breath and swallowed. Her words barely came out in a hushed breath. "I've never been with a boy before, Hilent." She shook her head and her face flushed a thousand shades of red. She was ashamed but she needed to say it to warn him. To let him know that she was suffering with her emotions. She had no experience to go on here. No idea what to say or what to do. Nomey looked at him and preyed that he would lead her to what ever came next.

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[Kingly]

After I ask, I see her eyes dart to her bedroom, if only a second, they still did. But then she tells me what she wants. Me.
I knew she would say that. She wants me to stay, I know I can't but that doesn't matter now. All that matters is her. Hell.. may as well admit it.
We're hooked on each other.
Our hearts wound so tightly, so fast. I have her with me now, embracing me as I do her in my arms. It's only now that I can fully capture her image, perfectly to lock in my mind. Her beauty in the firelight, the glow off her cheek, twinkle in her eye. Her essence so wonderful, taste so glorious. I had candy only a few times, but she is tenfold to any sweet any hand could ever craft. If only time could freeze, and we could stay her, in this moment without having to leave it. Because he we can sit. Without a care for the world. Only each other. I try for another kiss when she whispers so quietly, "I've never been with a boy before, Hilent."
At first, this takes me by shock. A girl like her, so wonderful, so.. full of life. I must admit, she seemed distant at first, and she was headstrong. But describes most hardworking people. I guess she is special. A special greater than everyone else before her.
"How?" I ask, "How could any sane person resist someone such as you?"
I admit, at this point, I'm probably going insane. My heart thunders, my stomach churns like butter. My emotions have taken over, parading me around like a puppet on a string, doing what ever they command. And their command is a demand for her. Only once had this happened to me, and I almost died the next day. But if i die tomorrow, I want her tonight.
"You have nothing to worry about, everything will be fine. I promise."
I scoop her with one arm under her legs, other under her back, carrying her like I had the first time before. But this time, I press her closer against me, taking extra caution as I take her into her room for the night.

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[loralaifrost]

What he said, and the way he said it. Like he truly couldn't believe it. Someone resist her? Most people didn't notice her. Nomey didn't think herself pretty like a lot of the other girls in school. She felt like she looked too much like her brothers. She didn't have a large chest like some of the girls that flaunted themselves around town. She felt average at best. When he said something about resisting her she smiled. It made her relax just a little. He lifted her and carried her off to bed. It was the most romantic thing she had ever experienced. One night with this stranger gave her more feelings and satisfaction than she could ever remember having.

When she woke in the morning a stream of light poured over his chest from her small window. She watched his chest rise and fall for a little while. Watched him sleep. The creases beside his eyes. He had such a serious face for someone who was sleeping. He didn't relax while he slept and she tried to understand why but couldn't. His lips made a thin angry line and she had to smile.

She laid there curled tight against him and she wasn't willing to move an inch but she was desperate for the bathroom. Slowly and as silently as she could manage she slid from the bed and tip-toed to the bathroom. Her body throbbed from the long night. He had been so gentile with her. So caring. Her heart filled to bursting when she thought about it.

After she was done in the bathroom, she washed her hands and went back to the bedroom and slid back in bed with him. He was so warm under her blanket. She laid herself across his chest and closed her eyes, so happy for this moment. She didn't have a memory that could quite match how she felt now being with him. It was peaceful and wonderful and she didn't want it to end.

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[Kingly]

The sun is warm on my face, and my chest as well. I feel something crawling on top of me.
Nomey, laying back down.
Wait, did we...? Oh no. I remember last night now. And my heart races again. Not in whatever spark that lit me last night, but in fear.
What have I done? Oh, no, no, no, no. What have I done?!. I have to leave, but... I want to to stay. I know I can't, but my... feelings... have other plans. They tell me, no, beg me to stay. But I've let them free for too long. I have to reign them in. I open one eye and glance at Nomey. Her eyes are closed, is she sleeping? I slowly move out from under her, trying not to disturb her as I lay her down on the bed. She seems happy, and she doesn't move. So she passed right out. I pick up my pants from the floor, put them on. There's some paper on a stand beside the door, and a bit of charcoal too. I take them and quickly write out a note.

Nomey, I'm sorry I'm not here. I'm sorry for leaving. I really want to stay. But there's things about me, things that could get you hurt or worse. I don't want anyone to suffer at my hand, so I must leave. Please don't hate me. That night was one of the best in my miserable life. Stay safe, keep happy. I'll have something for you waiting on the town hall steps at midnight.

I love you.
Hilent Vormund

I leave the note beside her and slip out of the room. I take my cloak and sweater off the floor by the stove. Slowly and regretfully, I put them back on. I pull up my hood and fix it over my head. I glance back to Nomey's room. It feels wrong without a proper good bye.
I go back to her room, she's still lying on the bed. I give her a kiss, on the lips, then the forehead.
"I love you." I whisper. She stirs slightly, so I take off. Out the front door, where my boots still wait. I put them on and walk off toward town.

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[loralaifrost]

Nomey rolled over and smiled. He smelled nice. She buried her face in the pillow and sniffed his scent. "I don't want to wake up yet." She told him and reached out her hand to lay across his stomach. She found the cool smooth fabric of the sheet instead. Her eyes blinked slowly open. "Hilent?" She rolled over and looked towards the door. He was nowhere in sight. "Hilent?" She called once more a little louder sitting up.

He didn't answer. The contrast of black coal on white paper caught her eye. She wrapped the blanket around her and took the piece of paper in her hand reading it out loud in a soft voice.

"Nomey, I'm sorry I'm not here. I'm sorry for leaving. I really want to stay. But there's things about me, things that could get you hurt or worse. I don't want anyone to suffer at my hand, so I must leave. Please don't hate me. That night was one of the best in my miserable life. Stay safe, keep happy. I'll have something for you waiting on the town hall steps at midnight.

I love you.
Hilent Vormund

She looked up at the door. He left. But that's not what made her heart sink into her stomach. He didn't plan on coming back. She tossed the paper down on the bed and stood leaving the blanket behind. "Hilent?" She walked quickly through the living room and right out the front door. Her eyes scanned the street as she stood once again in the mud in her bare feet. He was really gone.

Anger and emotion made her eyes go red and start to water. Nomey turned and looked back at the house. She didn't want to go back in there. He left. He left me. He left. He left. He used me. He's gone. Tears started to stream down her face and she stomped back inside slamming the door putting her back against it. What did I do wrong? I thought he liked me. How could I be so wrong?

No. He wouldn't just never come back right? He couldn't live that far away. She would see him again, wouldn't she? When she did.. She felt like smacking him. Screaming at him for letting her get so close to him. He just had to get home. He doesn't mean he'll never see me again. We live in the same district. He came to this section of the district for something. Maybe family. He will come back. He said he loved me. Was he Lying?

The door pushed open and hit her in her back. She stood up and opened it quickly "Hilent." Her heart raced and relief flushed through her until her brothers face came into view. "What's wrong?" He frowned when he saw her face. "What are you doing here?" She wiped her face and walked in to sit on the chair near the stove.

"It's noon. It's Sunday. Where else am I supposed to be?" Keighvan moved inside shutting the door and kicking his boots off. Nomey stared at the floor. "What's going on? Why are you crying?" She sighed and sniffled. "I'm not crying." She muttered and began walking back to her room to read the letter again. "Okay then." Keighvan let her go, going to the stove and setting up a fire for when his mother got home. "Don't mind me." He called out to her. "It's not like you can talk to your brother.. I'll just let Mom know you're wanting to talk to her."

Nomey grabbed the letter off of her bed and went back to stand in the doorway of her bed room. "Why can't you just leave me alone? I don't bother you when you're having a hard time." She narrowed her eyes at him. He turned to face her with a little smile. "If I didn't give you a hard time who would? Besides I'm supposed to bother you, it's my job." "Well I'm not in the mood, Keighvan. How about I tell Dad you've been sleeping with Mary Dougherty. I bet he would love that." Keighvan didn't know Nomey knew about that, but now he did. His face twisted into a scowl. Mary's Father was Brighton Dougherty. Nomey's father despised the man. Wished him ill. Would do about anything to get back at him for causing the accident at the paper plant that took her fathers arm. The man was drunk and as her father reached into the machine to unjam a massive roll of paper for cutting, Brighton released the safety causing the cutter to come down on his arm.

Keighvan stormed over to her and Nomey braced herself. If he hit her she would hit him back. Instead of swinging he reached down and snached the paper out of her hand. It shocked her and she reached out for it quickly but he raised it into the air and he was at least five inches taller than her.

"Give it back now or I'll kill you!" She screamed and punched him in the stomach but he just laughed and started reading the letter out loud.

Nomey, I'm sorry I'm not here... He drew the words out as he laughed. I'm sorry for leaving. I really want to stay. But there's things about me, things that could get you hurt or worse. His face went serious and he read the rest quickly. Nomey jumped at the paper desperate to get it away from him "Give it back, Keighvan.. Please! I don't want anyone to suffer at my hand, so I must leave. Please don't hate me. That night was one of the best in my miserable life. Stay safe, keep happy. I'll have something for you waiting on the town hall steps at midnight.

I love you.
Hilent Vormund

Keighvan looked up at her. "Nomey..." He went quiet. She stood there crying and angry. "I hate you, Keighvan." He sighed "Okay, I'm sorry all right? Did you sleep with this guy? Is he your boyfriend? He's breaking up with you or something?" She stomped away from him not willing to answer or accept his apology. "Nomey, come on. He followed her to her bed room door and as she tried to slam it in his face, he stopped it with one strong hand. "Alright. I get it. You're pissed." He held the note out to her. "I'm sorry.. Forgive me?" She snatched the paper from him and tried to close the door again but it didn't budge. He was holding it in place.

"Whatever Keighvan." She whispered. Keighvan sighed and pushed the door open and walked right in like he owned the place. It made her angrier. "You cared about this guy? Want me to go talk to him?" Nomey narrowed her eyes at him. Even if she did she had no idea where Hilent was. She shook her head.

"Want me to go with Thom and rough him up a little bit?" Keighvan smiled and she rolled her eyes. "I just want you to get out of my room so I can have some peace." She told him. he made a face and stood up and walked out of the room but stopped in the doorway. She turned to him and gave him a bored and exhausted look. "Nomey, If you.." He stopped short and just looked at her. She stared back at him wondering what he was going to say but he didn't really finish. He started again. "Just hope you didn't do anything stupid. I don't want to have to chase this kid down." Her eyes narrowed as he closed the door behind him. Her stomach turned. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Asshole. She pressed the letter against her chest and sank onto her bed feeling like she wanted to disappear.

The day dragged so slowly. She ate dinner in silence. keighvan stared at her so she kept her head down so she didn't have to look at him. As midnight approached she slid on her boots and jeans and slid out of her bedroom window. She didn't want keighvan to see her leave. She knew it was very likely he would try to follow so she avoided it by slipping quietly out.

It was cold as she walked the muddy streets to the center of town. She kept her eyes out for peacekeepers but thankfully there seemed to be none in sight tonight. There's no one out in the mud and chilly wind. She reached the circle and stopped looking at the town hall. Was he here? Was he close by and not willing to let her see him? The thought made tears well up in her eyes. It cut her deep and she wrapped her arms around her self trying to hold herself together. She sniffled and made her way to the steps of the town hall to see if he did in fact leave something for her.
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[Kingly]

Shadows surround me as i hide in an alley, waiting for Nomey. At first, I think she won't come. But then she does. It breaks my heart to be so close, but so far. If I stayed with her, and peacekeepers came, they could discover who I am. She could be killed. I can't handle another death of a loved one.
I watch her as she nears the hall steps, toward the little bag I left her. The last time I had tried to give that coin bag away, the girl didn't accept it. She left it be by the district fence. It held enough money to feed a family for a month, and she wouldn't take it. So now I leave it for Nomey. Plus a silver coloured ring that holds the bag closed. I don't think it was silver, didn't have the shine to it. It was my mothers favourite ring, made of something called platimum. If that's good, I don't know. 
As Nomey nears the bag, I can hear her crying. I did hurt her. But that pain will pass. A bullet to the brain doesn't. I didn't want to be dramatic with her, so I left a simpler note this time.

Nomey,
I love you.

I'm tempted to leave these shadows, hold her one last time. but I know better than to let emotions get the better of me this time. She takes the bag a looks around. She stared right in my direction, didn't see me. It some relief, that I can leave in peace. Heart broken, but peaceful none the less. I take steps back, still watching for what she does next.

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