Breaking in (JackLexington)

[Jack Lexington]

"If I'm going to be a father of two at 19 I might as well spoil myself rotten now." I tell her and order a real, pig piece of meat with whatever that round yellow stuff is that comes with it.
For a moment I hide my face behind my hands , then run them through my hair, which is longer than ever before because we keep talking about cutting it but then something new comes up.
"I need a haircut." I mutter a little absentmindedly.





Noreen adresses the subject of getting married again so I listen closely but only nod in reply. If I had to give her an answer now I'd say maybe when she's due but I have to digest the news first. "Alright. But Nonnie, no matter whether we're married or not I'm going to be there fro you and our kid...s. Oh my!" I look into her face, which looks exactly what mine feels like: Somewhere between laughing and crying with a big serving of scare on the side

The waitress comes and gives us a quick, strange look but then ask politely what we'd like to order. When she's gone I hear my girl talk about me seeing that ex-doctor, which is double bad. A doctor, who on top of that lost her license. Yet I might have no other choice. With two more mouths to feed I will need to work as hard as I possibly can. "I was hoping to get out of that one." I give it a try, which hopefully she won't blame me for. "Not sure if you noticed but I'm a big girl when it comes to doctors."

The arrival of two large steaming plates with incredibly delicious smelling food interrupts up. Mesmerized I stare at it. "This could feed my whole family!" I exclaim and grab my knife and fork. The full flavour assaults my sense and I chew much longer than usually to get every bit of juice out of the meat.
"I'm dying...this is the best food I've ever had! Try this!" Cutting of a piece I hold it out for her.
We eat like we haven't eaten in months and even have a small serving of fruit afterwards, which we share.

When we step back out onto the busy street, which is frequented by horses, donkey carts and people I stretch my arms out. "I'm so stuffed I need to find a tree with some shade to sleep! How are you? Keeping the food down alright?"

[laphae8ash]

The smell of his pork makes me start to gag again, especially when he moves and waves a piece in my face offering me a bite. I shake my head and look down trying to focus on something other than the bubbling about to erupt in my stomach. He's talking about going to the doctor his mom suggested but I can't stop myself I quickly excuse myself to the ladies room with a jog.

I come back and try to act like nothing happened, "Guess we'll be having to get used to that eh?" I say sipping a bit of water. He sits there shoveling in food like its going to go out of style, and I can't help but laugh and offer him a bit of mine as well. I know I need to eat but right now the joy on his face is enough to share a few bites.

After the meal I'm so exhausted I can hardly keep my eyes open, but I force myself up onto Dancer, "Come on Jack, you can't get out of this. I promise, it won't be as bad as what I just went through."

Maybe if I can let him know I'm doing stuff I don't want to he'll stop whining and suck it up. He hops on his horse and we head off to the address, "Jack, I hope you know, I love you...and even though I may not be super excited at the moment, I know we're going to be okay and we'll figure this out together. I trust you."

[Jack Lexington]

"I just wish you could say that you're happy." I remark a little sad. Then we turn a few corners and have to jump out of the way because the fire department, who owns one of the few vehicles in our districts, comes towards us with sirens and lights.
It's something you just don't get to see outside of the city and excites me somehow.
I watch it go by with the amazement of a little kid.

At almost 3 pm we reach the adress that my mother wrote down for us and step up to the older stone house. It even has a door bell, which I push with my thumb.
After a moment a woman in her mid 50ies opens the door and looks at us questioningly.
"Good afternoon, I'm here to see Mrs. Helmes."
"That would be me?"
"My mother sent me here. She said you're working with natural remedies..."
Without further questions she opens up the door further and invites us in. Her home is beautiful with high ceilings and nicely finished wooden floorboards.
From the hall we enter a room to the right, which looks just like a doctors office to me: White, clean with a desk and examination table and a single shelf but what doesn't fit the picture is the smell. Instead of desinfectant it smells like spearmint and basil.

I let my eyes wander around and try to work against my inner urge to run back out the front door.
"Take a seat. How can I help you?"
She motions for one of the chairs but then continues..."let me guess...either that limp or the pregnancy?" A wise smile plays on her lips as we stare at her in disbelief. "How did you know?"
"I have two eyes!" She laughs and manages to make me ease up a bit.

[laphae8ash]

I sit in the chair as the lady starts evaluating us. As she talks my eyes start to droop. I'm just so darn tired! "I'm fine, we're here for his leg." I know I should be saying more, but the traveling and the hormones and everything is starting to wear me down. Mrs. Helmes just smiles, "Still in your first trimester dear? Its okay if you need to take a rest while I help him out. What's your name hun?"

With a yawn, I reply "I'm Noreen, this is Jack. Its nice to meet you."

I can't help it as I relax a bit farther into the chair. I've never felt so tired in my life. Its like all the sleep in the world has escaped me for the past few months and now my body is refusing to function. Letting my eyes close, I hear her ask Jack to hop up on the table and explain what's been going on.

The words fade out as my dreams tune in.

We're in the meadow behind the paddocks at work. Jack's holding my hand and the sun is shining. The birds sing their silly songs as I push myself up to kiss him. Looking around I see two little bouncing dark curly head kids in front of us...its so perfect.


Til the crying starts, the little kids start screaming and crying and won't stop. I pick them up to comfort them, trying have Jack help, but he's gone and the sun had disappeared and there I am alone with two screaming kids in the middle of an empty black space.



"Well tell me whats wrong Jack," Mrs. Helmes asks, motioning for him to sit on the examination table. "Mostly I work with acupuncture or herbal remedies. That can help with a motley of different things. Pain, pressure, stress" she nods at my sleeping body. "I know your mind is probably racing, you look a bit young to be having a child....but just let me know what you're experiencing and we'll try to figure it out."

She leans over and lights a candle and the fragrance of chamomile and and lavender fill the room. "It'll help with her," she gestures at me noticing my scrunched brow and rapid eye movement. "Poor thing, she's probably exhausted. You better be taking good care of her....anyway, back to you."

[Jack Lexington]

Oh how would I love to trade spots with Noreen right now who is passed out in a chair leaning her head against the wall behind her. She's got quite the load to carry with two small creatures growing inside of her and draining her energy. The way she handles it is still admirable.

In my underwear I hop on the cold steel table which reminds me an aweful lot of the ones I've seen at the vets practice. It gives me goose bumps. "So how did this happen?" The grey haired lady wants to know while she takes a closer look at the scar that winds around my leg like a snake.
Why does she need to know how it happened? Fighting with weapons is strictly forbidden and in the forests beyond the fence is another crime.
"I was attacked." I simply state, which is the truth but also could have been a burglar.
She glances up at me over the rim of her glasses.
"With a sword?"
"Yes."
"Hm."
She proceeds to bend my leg and move my foot, then compares it to the other one.
I have to walk up and down the room a few times, while I explain. "I know I walk awkward. It's because I can't feel anything in my leg from the cut down."
Crossing her arms she thinks out loud. "It's a miracle they were able to piece it together this well. You were very lucky you didn't loose it. Whoever did this knew exactly what he was doing. I honestly don't know anybody around here who'd be able to."
Her hints make me uncomfortable but she tones it down by saying. "I wish I could meet that doctor but that's not going to happen, is it?"
I swallow hard against the lump in my throat and admit. "No."
The woman just nods and smiles. "That's what I figured. Don't worry, your secrets safe with me....now- you're using mostly the left side of your foot and muscles when you're walking, probably because these are the parts that weren't injured but by doing that you'll give yourself joint problems in no time. Hop on the table again for me, Jack."
I do as requested and she starts feeling for muscles, tendons and whatever else is inside my leg. I just sit and wait and watch. My gaze soon wanders away from her investigation to Noreen, who's relaxed face has become a grimace. Occasionally she's moving and I wonder whether she's having a bad dream.

[laphae8ash]

I sit up quickly to see Jack in his underwear being evaluated by the doctor and my face flushes quickly. "I'm so sorry!" I start apologizing, but the lady cuts me off. "Don't worry dear, you need your rest. There's nothing you can do here anyway."

She takes Jack to the table and has him hop back up. Turning around to a small chest of drawers she pulls out a set of what looks like sewing needles. So small and tiny I can't even imagine they would do much, her hands push Jack's hair away from his ears and runs her fingers over them.

"This isn't going to hurt a bit but should give you a bit of relief." She takes a pin out and explains "Your ears have several points that if manipulated can cause you to regain or have feeling in different parts of your body. If you want I can try a few things and see how it feels."

She looks up at me, "There are also points that can help with you too if you feel like it."

[Jack Lexington]

As long as her fingers are touching certain spots on my ears I'm relaxing but as soon as she pulls out some shiny, metal needles I'm on edge. "You want to stick those in my ears?" I've never heard of such a thing and can only imagine it to be painful-like the prick when they draw your blood for the games each years.

The woman stands back until I make my decision but explains to us. "The question is...how much feeling do you actually want back in your legs. Right now your walking in a wrong way, overusing one side of your leg. If you have feeling in that leg you'll be aware of it and change it. On the other side you must be aware that there has been so much damage done to your thigh that you'll most likely also feel a lot of pain if it works. You'll have to decide whether you want to go through that pain, which might or might not get better, or leave it the way it is but damage it more than it already is. I'll give you a minute."

Knowing that this decision won't come easy she leaves the room to cook some tea for Noreen.
Right now I'm really lost. "She can possibly fix it but at the same time make it painful..." I shake my head in dispear rubbing my scar absentmindedly. All over I curse the son of a bitch who did this to me.
"I know she's right because whenever I get these occasional feelings-they are never pleasant." I remind Noreen. "But I have to think ahead and long term, I need to be able to use my leg until I'm old and grey or who else will provide for you and the ...the ...twins." I almost bite my tongue saying that word and then give Noreen a pleading look. "Shit, Noreen..."

[laphae8ash]

I sigh and stand up and walk over and kiss Jack. "You're going to be okay. I promise. Look at me." I take his hands and hold them tight. "If it works and things get better, then great. If you choose to not have help and we have to figure things out as we go, well thats fine too. I'm not going to force you into anything."

I run my fingers along the scar, if I only knew the full story, but I don't think I ever will. "Jack," I swallow and look up, "I think you should try."

I hate the chance that he could be in pain forever, but would he rather live with the not knowing? The possibility that every day what ever he does there's a chance he could be free of the limp and soreness?

Mrs. Helmes walks back in and smiles when she sees I'm up and moving about. "Well we don't have to do anything today, we can always wait and see how you feel in a month or two. Won't you have to be back for the babies check up?" she says handing the tea to me.

Looking at the cup and then back up to her I say, "I'm having twins...so next time the midwife will come to me. I'm not supposed to be on a horse for much longer." The sadness at the last part of the sentence can't be hidden. I"m going to hate not riding. "Thank you for the tea, though." I say heading back to sit down and take a sip.

"Well Jack, what do you think?" she asks nicely.

[Jack Lexington]

The fact that I have to ask Noreen for a kick in the ass because I'm too much of a coward embarasses me, so when Mrs. Helmes asks I tell her what Noreen had told me not even a minute ago.
"I think I should do it., Who knows what fun experience I'm missing out on." I reply with a nod to the needles that still give me the creeps.

"Alright. Lay down and relax." She takes me head in her hands and turns it to feel my ears again. Then I can feel a small prick, which isn't too bad at all, then another one. The worst part about it is my fear and the fact that it will definetly show if I pee my underwear on the table. staring at the ceiling I endure the procedure and ask. "I don't understand the connection between my ears and..." A jolt of what seems to be electricity running over my knee makes me gasp and shuts me up because it was better than any answer.
Every now and then I get the oddest sensations on a toe or my skin suddenly feels cold.
I can't hide that I'm starting to get excited and wiggle my toes. Unfortunately there is no feedback.
When the next accupuncture needle enters my skin I suddenly flinch away because dull pain seems to engulf part of my thigh.

The doctor pauses for a moment and asks whether there is any difference, which should be obvious.
This time I suck it up and try to be the man I soon will have to be by telling her to go ahead.

[laphae8ash]

As Jack is laying there all I can think about is how amazing it would be if this worked. How great it would be to see Jack walking and riding without the worry and stress his leg causes him. Watching his face I see amazement and shock pass over it...is he actually feeling something? Is this working?

When the doctor asks and he tells her to keep going my heart skips a beat. Oh he IS feeling somehing. I want to jump upand hug him, but instead I bust out in a smile absorbing the moment knowing that our life can start moving forward. There is something about his courage in this moment that makes me understand I can be happy about this. That maybe its not all awful. Maybe just maybe these babies are a good thing.

After a few more minutes the doctor says "Well we are finished for today, but I will need to see you several more times. This isn't an instant fix by any means." We nod and she pulls out a calendar and starts looking at dates. "We should probably do this every other month to see some serious improvements. Plus I have some stretches and movements you should start doing daily." Looking through a stack of papers she hands on to Jack. "Here these are a start. And these," taking out a small bottle of crushed up herbs, "will help with her stomach problems."

[Jack Lexington]

Sitting up on the table I place both palms on it and start wiggling my foot and bend my knee to test what I'm suspecting. There is the odd feeling here and there from a numb sensation to heat or cold and stinging pain. I hiss when it flames up in my thigh and over my knee but a moment later I have to laugh. "It worked....somewhat."
Then I look up into Noreens face and see a genuine smile there for the first time in weeks. That alone was worth doing it. My poor girl has been through an emotional roller coaster ride and it#s heartwarming to see that smile again so i mouth. "Thank you for encouraging me."
Then I turn to the lady in front of me.
"Thanks so much. I'm not sure how often I'll be able to make it here with work and Noreen being pregnant but I'll certainly try. This is incredible."

With a thankful smile I ask how much money we owe her and even though the price is quite high for people like us I'm glad we did it. If the herbs do Noreen any good I'll surely come back for more.
"what's in it?"
Mrs. Helmes Scribbles the herbs on a piece of paper and hands it to me. The bell gives away the arrival of another patient and that our times is up.

Outside I give my girlfriend and long hug. "Thank you, that was awesome. How do you feel? Do you think you can make it home or should we stay over night and ride home in the early morning?"

[laphae8ash]

The cost of the treatment makes me jaw drop. I don't know how we'd be able to keep it up, but I bite my lip as we head out side. If I thought that it was a shock, it was nothing compared to Jack's suggestion.

"Where would we stay? I don't feel comfortable spending anymore money than we already have, we really need to watch our budget if we're going to be saving for our own place and the...twins." The word still felt odd and foreign on my tongue.

I can't believe we're having two, TWO babies. Its still a shock when I think about it and I have to pull myself back out of the swirling questions in my brain.

"How about we head back, we can talk on the way and besides, I always liked riding at night." I kiss him, "Jack I think this might actually work. I think we can do this." I smile up at him running my hand over his cheek. Its strange how different a few months can make your life. I would've never thought that I would have found someone that I wanted to be with, someone I'd trust enough to let into my world...let alone someone I'd start a family with. Right now I feel so lucky that I kiss him again.

We've got a long ride ahead of us so I'm anxious to get started. I hoist myself up on to Dancer and laugh, "I'm wanting to get in a few good rides before I'm too big for this. What do you think? Is your leg feeling up to a decent speed when we get out of the city?" It would be amazing to have a real ride with Jack, to actually let loose and let the horses go. Feel the wind on our faces and the smooth muscles working under us. Maybe today is that day.

[Jack Lexington]

"I thought you might be too tired to ride but if you're up for it, I'm game." I follow her example and mount Molly who had been munching on some grass in the front yard, which might not be much appreciated even though there seems to be no damage done.

While we make our way through the busy streets I notice her slightly changed attitude. She seems more positive now. "Of course we can do this, we're strong and even better together!" I grin. "Just imagine what 4 of us can do!"

When we reach the other streets of the city the traffic gets less and the space in between houses bigger. So when Noreen asks whether we want to do a little race out of the city I give her a bewildered look but then nod. "Sure, cowgirl. Just tell me when!"

We haven't even left the last houses behind us when Noreen gives her horse the heels and leaves me standing in a cloud of dust. She's one hell of a good rider and I probably stand no chance on catching her on Molly. I press me calves and heels to her body and can for the first time feel the connection between my right leg and her stomach. Pressing a little harder and digging my heels in I urge her to go faster. The old mare jumps forward but even her fastest gallop can't help us catch up.
I can seen Noreen thunder down the strip of grass near the road.

The faster we get the more fun the ride is but old Molly can't maintain this speed for long. Neither can old Jack because my leg is starting to cramp up fast, which hurts like some creature is digging its claws in.
Wincing I slow down and take my foot out of the stir up to relax and rub it. By now Noreen is long gone and for a second I catch myself hoping she hasn't taken a fall.

[laphae8ash]

I take off in a flash of fur and dust. The hoof beats pounding a steady rhythm on the dirt and every stress of my lif e fades away. Its just me and the horse and the feeling of freedoms I cant even put into words. I briefly hear Jack behind me and the world feels right.

This continues on for several miles before I notice that I am alone. Looking around Jack is no where to be foun. My heart starts racing and I whip Dancer around and start backtracking. I really hope he hasnt fallen or been overcome by pain! My eyes see him in the distance and I push my legs into dancers sides. "Jack! Are you okay hun?"

The closer I get he more clear the grimace on his face is. Is he really feeling something!? The thought excites me and I question "Is it your leg? Are you feeling it again?"

[Jack Lexington]

I drop my hand when I see her come back and try to wipe the frown from my face. Even though I won't admit it I'm glad she came back and I don't have to play 'catch the wild chick' anymore.
Looking up at her sweaty, happily excited expression I smile and wrinkle my nose. "Yeah, it's working."
Then I smack my tongue and give Molly a light press with my calves and again I can feel her stomach against my leg. It's wonderful even though it's still a numb sensation but it's something.

"You're having fun, aren't you?" Her horse is breathing so hard that it's obvious how much she's been pushing it but all that gives away that she's given herself a little work out are the rosy cheeks.
"Go ahead. Have some fun. I'll catch up with you at the big intersection to Mount Rosewood. Molly can't go that fast." Molly, right.
I'm humiliated enough as it is, there's no need to admit that Molly is in good company.