Haunting [Cass]

[cass]

Nom smiles at her encouragingly, he hoped she would take the money, she really needed it more ten he did. To be honest he had more money then he needed he probably had more money then every single Seam Resident in District Eight. Even though being a Peacekeeper didn’t have the best pay it had better pay then any person in the district maybe even better then the mayor of the district. His eyes briefly meet hers which were red rimmed and puffy from crying. He hated seeing her so broken and helpless. When after hearing what had happened to her, when after hearing just how strong she was. Nom Nom in comparison felt weak he had broken down after a week, she had broken down after years of holding it in for so long.

Nom actually felt happy as her hand slides over his taking the coins, he was once more reminded of how hard her life was just by the simple touch of her tough hands, which were just so cold over his. He could feel the roughness in the skin of her hands, it showed just how much she had to work, just how much she had to do to survive. When he on comparison was so self-fish and arrogant. He bit his lower lip, at the way he saw himself, he saw someone who cared for no one, but himself, and he felt as if he was staring into one of the toughest people in Panem, he wasn’t that kind of person at all. He admired Bird and the strength she had. He could still remember her face that day, the way her eyes shone with fear and tears, and how her hair lay tattered around her face giving her a haunting look. Nom would never forget her face. It to be honest haunted him.

He felt as if he was to be blamed for what happened to her. His home the place where he lived did this all to them, it has killed so many of them and he doesn’t know when it will stop. He looks into her eyes, and sees exactly what he sees in the rest of them hope. The strongest emotion in the world, as long as there is hope there is a chance for change. He sighs, he felt stuck, he wanted to blame it all on the Capitol, he want to blame the whole concept of Panem and The Hunger Games on President Snow, but the thing was he couldn’t, he himself a few years ago had cheered on he tributes, he had betted that Topaz Ross would win. He had put money on her. He had also put money on the young Sapphire Ross to lose, he hadn’t expected her to lose so quickly, but he had still laughed all the same.

Nom placed a hand on his stomach as he his stomach rolled, it was all true all of it he was a monster, he could just imagine Topaz’s face, her eyes and the way she would have reacted to seeing her sister die, her sister mentored by her killed. Killed by her own district partner, he had laughed; he had snorted and snickered at the whole thing. What if that had of been Bird, dead lying on the ground, killed by her own brother or district partner. He couldn’t imagine it. He blinks slowly lowering himself down into the chair. He wanted it to all end, he wanted it to be over, he wanted Bird to be able to have the life she deserved, a chance at being her and not having to have her life threatened every year, every day.

“Bird, I just wish it could all change, that maybe one day you could wake up and not think about your family starving. Or wake up on the reaping day and know that you won’t have to see if you are being sentenced to death.” He doesn’t look at her, he couldn’t he didn’t want to see her face and know that he could do nothing to help her. “I’m such a horrible person, I watched year after year as people that are friends, family or foe fighting to the death. I found it entertaining!” He places his head in his hands resting there for a moment. He felt sick, he felt horrible. He stood up letting his hands fall to his sides. “I should walk you home, and don’t say no, because I am not letting anything happen to you, I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again. You deserve to have something good in your life. I want to look after you and I will try to. I want to protect you and make sure you are always safe. I let you down when I left, and I am really sorry.” He didn’t know if anything he ever did would make it all better, but as long as he knew he had helped Bird, it would help him.

[Steffenee]

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“Bird, I just wish it could all change, that maybe one day you could wake up and not think about your family starving. Or wake up on the reaping day and know that you won’t have to see if you are being sentenced to death.”

She watched him as he sank into his chair a look of almost horror on his face. She wondered what he was thinking about; she wondered how something could make him look like that? What was he thinking of. She wanted to ask, but she hesitated it wasn't fair to him to question what he was thinking about or what he was doing. She nodded some at his first comment. She wanted to tell him that one day they might, even though she knew it wasn't true. They would always wake up and have to deal with the ever gnawing hunger in their stomachs. She wished one day that it would be true and she wished she could tell him that her family would be okay. Even though it wouldn't. Skid would leave, then Hornet, then Wheels, Kit, Skid and soon it would be only her, she wasn't sure how much longer Batty would be around either. She didn't want to think about being alone. She didn't want to think about knowing there was no way she would be able to take care of herself once they were all gone. She didn't want Nom to worry about her though so she started and tried to say that everything would end up okay for her, but the words got stuck in her throat and she couldn't make a noise...

“I’m such a horrible person, I watched year after year as people that are friends, family or foe fighting to the death. I found it entertaining!”

She watched him place his head in his hands. Why was he beating himself up so much? Everyone had looked at it that way. Every single one of the capitolites and the peacekeepers at least. The people looked and watched in horror as their friends or distictmates died at the hands of other children who were forced to fight in them. It was hard on her to watch and know that next year her name could be drawn, next year it could be any of them. She didn't want to be in it, but she knew that she had to be. She knew that she would be in it and there was no way out of it. She finally found her words. "Nom, every one in the capitol and all of the peacekeepers looked at the games the same way, they still do."

She said quietly reaching over and laying a small hand on his arm. She didn't think he would do something like that. She had thought about mentioning that this would be the first year she was in the drawing at all, but figured that it would only upset him more. She saw he was in pain and didn't want to see him in any more. He was like her brother that was away from everything. Her brother she didn't have to worry about seeing in the morning and knowing he was hungry just like everyone else. He was her escape from her life and he was there to protect her and she knew it.

“I should walk you home, and don’t say no, because I am not letting anything happen to you, I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again. You deserve to have something good in your life."

She saw him stand up his hands falling to his sides. She slowly stood as well. She didn't know what else she could do when he said that he was going to walk her home because he wasn't going to let anything bad happen to her. He was there for her and she knew it. She nodded some as they stepped out of the shop and on to the street. The sky was still threatening rain but she knew that it wouldn't rain, it would just threaten it. She knew that she would make it home before the rain, or she hoped, because there wasn't any heat in her house. It would be just as cold in there as outside. It would be just as cold as always and it would be hard for her to get warm, unless someone gave her their blanket, which would end up wet and would mean one less blanket for someone that night. She didn't want to do that to her family. She sighed some running her fingers through her hair trying to pull out the tangles as she pulled out her braid.

"I want to look after you and I will try to. I want to protect you and make sure you are always safe. I let you down when I left, and I am really sorry.”

She nodded some as he finished his statement. She knew that he didn't mean to leave her and she didn't blame him for leaving. She hugged him some as they walked before letting him go. "I'm not mad at you Nom. I'm just glad you are back"[/b] She said quietly. She sighed some rubbing her eyes. She missed Nom. She missed him alot while he was away. She had stayed in the house most of the time because she didn't see him on the streets very much and it scared her. She started to braid her hair again.
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[cass]

-- Nom Nom --

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Nom turns away from her, he wasn’t sure how he felt, he wasn’t sure of anything really anymore. Had he just said he was going to stay here? In this district? He bit his lip knowing that everything he had just said was not true. He didn’t get a say in any of it, he never would. He was a ragdoll, that was moved, poked and prodded at the Capitol’s dispense. Nom got no word in the next place he would end. It was always like that. People like him got no say in anything, they didn’t get to ask questions, or talk about ideas or notations that they thought where wrong. Peacekeeper’s were peacekeepers because they listened and did.They followed orders blindly They weren’t meant to think. They just did.

As his eyes flickered to the mirror that sat on the wall he wanted to turn away. He didn’t want to look at the boy sitting, staring at him. His eyes were hollow, and only pain was in there, there was no happiness in eyes that were once so full of life. Eyes that would normally sparkle with cheekiness or blaze with the emotions that held this boy together. A long time ago Nom use to be a joker, a fun, stuck up guy that loved nothing more to sit back and relax and laugh, just chill and have fun, pull the odd prank and enjoy the place he lived in. But that wasn’t the boy that stared at him. Nom willed himself to see someone else, he wanted to see the person that he had once been, but he couldn’t.

That boy had died, and Nom so desperately wanted him back. He wanted that boy back in his laugh, and right now he wanted to laugh. He wanted so much. Nom would have loved Dom’s haunting eyes to leave him, he would love it if the girl in front of him was suddenly happy, smiling and giggling like any child her age should be doing. But he knew none of that would happen, so he just stared numbly at the fragile boy. His hand ran gently through his hair, hair that he always took care of, hair that he would spend at least an hour on every morning. Had he even brushed it this morning? He sighs letting the air slowly leave him, and watching a white cloud float into the air, filled with what he hoped was all his pain and misery. Because Nom wanted change. He had let himself sink into a depression, and he was tired of it, he was sick of what he had become.

It wasn’t him.

Yes he was going to stay here, he was going to try and get a permanent spot her, because he knew that if he made Bird happy it would slowly, but surely begin to make him smile. Nom knew that he finely understood the world he was in and the price at which the district people paid. He was upset with himself for not seeing this early. He should have known that these people suffered so much, but the boy wasn’t smart. Nom takes another look in the mirror; his eyes could see something that he hadn’t seen before in there. Was it the wrinkles that were slowly starting to appear around his eye? needed more Botox or was it the way his eyes seemed to take on an older look then they once had? He couldn’t tell, because Nom wasn’t that smart.

He wiped his hand in the air dismissing the thoughts. He was getting old, he had to face that. He turns his eyes away from the glass and looks back at Bird, a small smile plays at the corners of his lips, and he lets it spread carefully across his face. Nom was happy, he could feel the long forgotten feeling, a feeling that he missed so much. He watches for a moment as she untangles her long brown strands, he was thinking of something to say, a nice sentence that would make her life, but everything was slipping his mind. He hadn’t joked or mucked around for so long,it was as if he had forgotten how to talk.

He bits his lip frustrated at his lack of words. But he also looked at her wondering what she was going to say about everything he had just said, even though he wanted to change so much he had to know if Bird wanted him to, because even though he desperately wanted to start helping her he couldn’t unless she said so. He was curious, he wanted to know if she was mad, if she had hidden all her feelings deep down about him. Did she hate him for leaving her? Did she despise what he had? He doubted it, but he wanted to know. "I'm not mad at you Nom. I'm just glad you are back." He stares at her, but she says no mare. Nom felt actually pleasure well up in his chest. Bird wasn’t made, she wasn’t upset with his running away. She was glad he was back. “I’m glad I’m back too! And I’m happy to see you again” he says with a grin, eyes sparkling like a naughty child.

As Bird starts braiding her hair, Nom jumps forward and starts tickling her.

((OOC: Is that alright? the tickling thing xD? I thought it might be a bit odd, also I’m really sorry about such the long wait <3))

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[Steffenee]

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She wasn't exactly sure what he was doing while he looked at himself in the mirror, he didn't seem happy, that much she could tell. She wished that he would be happy. It was hard on her to see him like that all the time, and it killed her to know it was because of something that had hurt him. She had been hurt, but why would someone as good as him be hurt. She didn't know what she should think about him getting hurt as it was not something she would normally think about- a peacekeeper getting hurt. It made her wonder if all of them had gone through pain or just a very few of them, maybe she would ask him one day. But right then she needed to get home before it started to rain. She didn't ever like the idea of rain because it gave the possibility of their roof leaking and she and her sisters getting wet. She didn't like that idea.

She looked over at him as he said that he was glad to be back in district eight as well. She wasn't happy he was here, but she was happy that he was here so that she could see him. Without him there had been a hole in her chest that she wasn't sure why it was there. She looked over at him and smiled a little bit at him as he grinned at her. She was happy that he was happy, even if it was in such a horrible place as district eight. She continued to braid her hair as so the rain wouldn't make it frizz. She was just about finished when Nom jumped at her and started to tickle her. She started to laugh and smile like she use to when she was young and didn't know the pain that her family was going though. She giggled and laughed a bit and finally got away from him so she could catch her breath from laughing so much.

They continued to walk, and as they walked the houses started to get more run down, the people became skinnier and sickly looking and the children were dirtier, hungry, more haunted then those on the better side of the district. She did her best not to look at any of it because it just reminded her where she was and what her family did to survive. She wondered how many of the other families here had to do what they did to survive, prostitution, hustling, stealing. She didn't like it one bit, but it was the only think allowing her to stand there that day and look at Nom and to smile and feel even the slightest bit normal when it came to anything. She finished braiding her hair and tied it off with a piece of cloth that she always tied it off with, or Kit tied it off with when she had the chance to do her hair in the morning. Finally they reached her street and she turned down it, she lived in one of the poorest neighborhoods in all of the districts and it embarrassed her to be bringing her friend to a place such as this.

They reached her building and she looked up at the top floor where her apartment was before back of at Nom. "Thank you for walking me home" She said with a small smile. It made her feel safer knowing that he was there and that he swore he wouldn't let anything happen to her again. She started to the door of the rundown, cracked paint building. "Thank you for the money as well..." She added. She was never really sure how to say goodbye to people outside of her family considering she had never really had to deal with anyone outside of it. She ran over and wrapped her arms around him in a hug though. She wasn't sure what else she could do to thank him. She knew that he didn't get a lot of money either, and giving it to her meant that he cared what happened to her, she had never had someone outside her small family that cared about her at all.

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