Unwanted (open)

[phunke]

((I'm facing a moral dilemma as to whether I should start blockquoting my posts or not. I like to retain an element of personal style, but on the other hand I do enjoy giving in to peer pressure...))
((Other side note: Sorry I haven't posted in a loooong time. I started my summer job (working at two barns, incidentally) and it's extremely time and labor intensive, so when I do have free time I'm super tired. But I will try to update more often than I have been.))

breathe in, breathe out
move on and break down

The district Square was nearly empty, which was a blessing in the eyes of a fourteen-year-old standing in its center before a giant screen.
Strands of dark red hair which normally hung just below her chin flicked across Addy's face as she whipped her head back and forth, checking all around to see if any people were present. The girl even pushed up onto her toes to see over her horse's back, determined to scan every inch of the Square for potential eavesdroppers.
Her search completed, the teenager turned to the boy standing beside her, not having noticed his moment of emotion. Her fear blinded her, momentarily, to the pain he was experiencing. It was pure, unfiltered fear; it twisted her fingers into fists and her facial features into a hard, unforgiving facade. Deep down, the girl understood completely. She knew why he said these things about the Games, she agreed with his implications about the cruelty of the Capitol. In a way, somewhere inside her, she admired his bravery. But terror took over, if only for a second, and she had to react.
"Shhh. Why would-"

She cut off, shutting her eyes forcefully and allowing her panic to fade, replaced by logic and genuine concern for the boy. Her eyes reopened, wider this time, and kinder. "What if someone heard you? You have to be careful. I know where you're coming from, and I agree. Believe me. But..." Her eyebrows came together and she looked at him imploringly. "Just be careful what you say, okay? You could get hurt. Or worse." Addy's voice dropped at the last two words, nearly to a whisper. She herself had difficulty suppressing the fear which reared inside her whenever she heard anti-Games talk in a public place. She was a citizen of District 5, and she had to play by the rules. That was how life worked. For the girl had seen what ten lashes could do to a person - her brother - and it was not something she ever wished to see again. And certainly not something she would wish on Drynis.

if everyone goes away
I would stay

[Jasik]

"Sorry about that," I say, glancing down. But then my eyes meet Addy's. I have an overwhelming urge to say what's in my mind, so I speak each word sincerely. "But I don't care what they do to me now," I say. "I'm not going to drag anyone else in with me, but at this point, it doesn't matter what happens to me. And besides, no one heard, as far as we know, so there's nothing to worry about." My gaze returns to the giant screens. Light reflects off of the water flooding the square, casting dancing lights all over the place. A chilly, rainy wind blows through the square. I consider going back to the house, just to escape the cold and wet. But it wouldn't make a difference. My bed's outside on the porch, so it's probably soaked through now. I'm not welcome inside the house, either, so I can't find refuge there. Going back home would only bring pain and loneliness. It's better out here in the square.

Maybe I could go out into the mountains? Raine would enjoy the trip, and we'd both be happy once we got into the forest. All of the animals are probably holed up in their dens, though, so it'd be just as lonely as going home. It could be dangerous, too. The paths can get slick in the rain, and in the places I go, where there aren't paths, I also have to be watchful of hidden dangers in the darkness. So going into the mountains is out. All that leaves me with is staying in the square. I glance at Addy. Why is she out here, anyway? I think to myself. She has a house where she's welcome. Why would she come out here?

[phunke]

'cause there is a light
in your eyes

The rain, coming down in sopping sheets of sickly-warm liquid, paused for a moment. As though unsure. As though processing the moment, wondering if it had made its point to the two people in the Square of District Five. Apparently it had not yet, because the downpour resumed, hesitantly at first, then strongly as before. Still, Addy caught the moment; caught the momentary falter in the clouds' resolve to soak her through to the bone. It made her wonder if the storm would relent; if the Games would relent; if sadness would stop soaking through her clothing into her bloodstream. Still, it was hard to feel cheerful; as the girl looked around the square, she realized that light and activity had drained from the stores, leaving their empty fronts blank and grey. Like the rain.
Abruptly, her thoughts were interrupted as Addy's eyes met Drynis's. She was caught by surprise and found herself studying their hue. His eyes weren't glowing with color and life, yet there was something about the green which hinted at their depth. The girl found herself having to mentally shake herself in order to concentrate on what he was saying. She took a minute to organize her thoughts, allowing her eyes to glaze so that she would not be...distracted.
"I know. You're right, I overreacted. I just...get a bit paranoid sometimes." She paused to think and met Drynis's eyes again. "But I don't..." She found herself struggling to retain a train of coherent thought as she looked into the boy's eyes. In them, she saw that he was telling the truth. Not that she was expecting him to lie, but it was as if he actually cared about the things he was saying. Meant them. Yet that confused her. How could he mean that, about it not mattering what happened to him now? Addy then remembered what she had been trying to say before, and resumed speaking. "...I don't get what you mean. About it not mattering if something happens to you. I mean, you have a horse." She gestured at Raine. "Doesn't that make a difference? Knowing that there is a being in this world who depends on you for health and happiness? I mean, sometimes stuff sucks-" She cut off and glanced down, not wanting to reveal just how unhappy she often was at home. How awful she felt when she saw wrapped-up chunks of equine flesh sitting on the counter for sale to the butcher. The way she wanted to vomit - and sometimes did - when she heard her father talk about the 'family business'. "-I mean, sometimes things don't always go well. And it'd be nice to just not care. But..." She looked up, meeting his eyes again, her own widening as she finally realized what she herself had been getting at. "With the horses, there's a point. It's something to actually care about.
Something to live for."

in your eyes

[Jasik]

((Sorry about not posting for so long, I just got back from vacation today))

She has a point. " Yeah," I say, absentmindedly stroking Raine's neck. He whinnies softly and nuzzles my hand. "But there are always people who'd be willing to take care of him if I... left." Even I don't fully understand what I mean by that. Die in the Hunger Games, get executed for any of the crimes I've committed from treason to sneaking out of the district, or even just run away. I'd take Raine with me if I ran away from here, I think to myself. He loves the mountains around here just as much as I do, if not more so. He'd be happy leaving with me if it came to that.

I look back at Addy and notice that she has an odd expression on her face, as if she's thinking of something unpleasant. I resist the urge to ask her what's wrong. It's probably the same thing that made her come out here in the pouring rain. But it must be pretty horrible if she'd come out here because of it.

[phunke]

[[No worries. How was el vacation-o?
ps. Your mutt banner-signature-thing scares me. o.o]]

hold on and hold tight
from out of your sight
and everything keeps movin on,

Left? Hmm. What an interesting concept.
He certainly seems ready to leave, Addy thought. Like a caged bird. No, not a bird. More like...a caged tiger, roaring and throwing itself against the rigid metal confines of its entrapment. She'd never seen a tiger before, only read about them in school, but something brought the image to mind. Perhaps the eyes. Did tigers have green eyes? The girl had no idea.
"Yeah, I suppose you're right. I guess I could take care of him if you left. Though I would guess that if you did leave, you'd take him with you, right? I mean, you two are obviously so close."
She paused and studied his facial expression. It looked...curious. Or worried. Or perhaps frustrated.
Adelaide had never been much good at reading people's faces. It was all in the eyes, and his were hardly visible in the thickening darkness.
"Well, it's getting late...Watching the Games isn't mandatory after ten o'clock, right? It must be at least that." She glanced up at the sky, where the moon was only detectable by a faint whitish glow emanating from a spot somewhere to the girl's left, partially obscured by clouds and rain.
"I guess I should probably go sometime soon then..." Another pause.
She bit her lip.
"My brother will worry if I'm out too long."

movin on

[[Ok, two more things to add to my ever-growing list of ooc comments:
First, should we plot anything out or just roll with this?
Second, does Drynis have a faceclaim yet? I feel like Logan Lerman could work, but that's just my mental image. Plus he might be reserved already, I dunno. Just a thought.

OMG! I just realized that Lerman would also be a great Finnick! o.o 'Specially if they dyed his hair a bit more reddish. He definitely has the eyes though.]]

[Jasik]

((We should definitely expand on this in other threads. And Drynis doesn't have a FC yet, but I'll check if he's available.))

I look up at the sky. Through the rain and the clouds, I can catch a glimpse of the moon. By it's position, I'd guess it to be nearly ten o'clock now. I think of what's waiting for me at home. My father will certainly still be angry. I'll probably just take to the mountains tonight, despite the miserable weather. Seeing as I sleep on a cot on the back porch, it won't be much different. Or at least, wait until midnight or so, when my family will be asleep. "I'll probably just hang around here for a while longer," I say.

[phunke]

[[Pooskittles, Logan Lerman is taken. Ah well.

Sorry it took me a couple days to get this post up. Procrastination isn't my middle name, but for the sake of exaggerating this trait in myself, I will say the following:
Procrastination is my middle name.]]

With a reluctant smile on her face, Addy turned and began to walk away, loosely grasping her gelding's reins in one hand. Her body was stiff and slightly slouched with fatigue and cold as she began to walk away. She flicked her eyes up to the sky; the rain had abated, and the clouds, though still dark, had become inconsistent. Squinting, she could just make out patches of night sky speckled with stars.
The girl whirled around to Drynis, her smile widening. "Look! You can actually see the stars." She flicked her head idly toward the sky to demonstrate her meaning. Seeing stars could be rather rare in the summer in District Five; the night-rain was fairly common.
Addy walked deliberately to a small patch of grass beside the Square and lowered herself until she was laying down, staring straight up at the ever-growing open space between the retreating storm clouds. Comet leaned down nonchalantly and began to graze, his reins still held casually in the right hand of his girl.
Normally, laying down on a wet surface would have made Addy feel uncomfortable, but as she was already soaked to the bone with warm water, the damp grass hardly bothered her. Rather, it felt comforting, tickling her bare shoulders and forearms as she relaxed into the cool ground.

[Jasik]

At Addy's words, I look up at the sky and take in the view of the tiny, twinkling lights. A rare smile creeps onto my lips. I've heard that in some districts, they never see the stars. Like in District Three, where the fumes of the factories block out the sky, or in District One, where the lights drown out the dim shining of the stars. It makes me feel sad for the people there, who never get to witness this kind of beauty. Here, in nature-centric District Five, we get to see the stars almost every night, except for when the clouds block out their light. I look back towards Addy but she's gone, moved to a patch of grass, the rain making it glisten like the stars. Raine whinnies and trots over to the grass, bending his head down to graze. I go and stand near them, returning my attention to the sky. The full moon shines brightly among the stars. A wolf howls off in the distance, and I can hear soft voices drifting through an open window. Other than the lights from the screens dancing among the buildings and the sounds of children fighting for their lives, all is peaceful in District Five.

[/color][/blockquote]

[phunke]

with your child's eyes
you are more than you seem
you see into space
I see in your face
the places you've been
the things you have learned
they sit with you so beautifully

Emitting a soft, pervasive glow, the moon looked to Addy like it was growing. After all, hadn't it just been a shadow behind a cloud not so long ago? The girl's sense of time had blurred with the falling rain. All she knew, and needed to know, was that it had once been day and was now dark. Those facts had little impact so far as her opinion went, but they were facts all the same. She still couldn't bring herself to care too much as she laid there in the thick grass.
Addy's thoughts wandered, drifted to the rather interesting acquaintance she'd met today. She lacked the true perception of character to find him fascinating - after all, her interpretation of people was often just a skim of the surface - yet there was certainly something about him that captivated her. His appearance, at first, bespoke regularity; yet the hurt in his eyes said more about who he actually was. A boy around Addy's age, yet he made her feel young and insignificant. Not in an uncomfortable way; it was just that her own experiences surely paled in comparison to his. The girl couldn't say that for sure, of course. But he had a bubbling frustration under the surface, maybe a tired feeling with life in general. It disturbed her - the idea that someone would feel apathetic toward the path their life was on. Rooted somewhere within the teenager was a distrust for Drynis, an inability to feel at ease around him just yet. After all, she hardly could claim to know him well enough to ever be able to predict the things he would do or say. Yet that was a deep emotion, much deeper than the things Addy could ever realize she felt...

you know there's no need to hide away
you know I tell the truth
we are just the same

It was truly wonderful to live in the moment, she thought. Something in the girl came alive at this staying-out-at-night, this defiance of her parents' wishes and the wishes of the Capitol because she'd distanced herself from the nightmare-screens. It was good to be alive, she decided, good to just lay on the grass and simply be. To give yourself time to think, time to swirl thoughts around in your head until some of them clumped together and formed logic, that elusive tool of the mind. Logic had never exactly been Addy's specialty. She much preferred the vague reasoning of the emotions. Yet this made logical sense, didn't it? That she and Drynis would be friends? They sort of clicked, after all, and from what she had guessed of him, both had troubled pasts. (Did hers count as troubled? The girl liked to think so, yet one could never be sure. It was all a matter of perspective.) So Addy decided that there was a connection there. One worth exploring, building on. Goodness knows the girl could use someone to rant about the woes of the world to. And goodness knows, she thought, he could probably use somebody too. Wasn't that what friends were for?

and just like stars burning bright
making holes in the night
we are building bridges

Still entirely in the moment, the girl pulled herself up into a crouch, then pushed into a full standing-position, straightening her knees which had become slightly stiff. She stood still for a moment, breathing in the night air and absorbing the sounds, watching the stars. Watching Drynis. Eyes wide as usual, her head tilted ever-so-slightly to the side as she regarded the boy. He'd moved a bit closer than his initial position when she'd gone to lay on the grass. Addy smiled softly, instincts she didn't know she had telling her she was safe. Only for a little while, perhaps - that was the disadvantage of being in the moment. Yet it pleased her, the impulsive, eccentric girl who was thoughtful without really knowing her thoughts. Without meaning to, but also without attempting to prevent herself from doing so, she sidestepped closer to Drynis. The girl smiled again and returned her gaze to the moon and stars. Her eyes and cheekbones were visible in the white glow from overhead, and her outline could just be made out by the light from the stars. She felt, rather than saw, the two horses near her; their presence alone comforted her, a warm blanket of familiarity. The girl was so impossibly safe, and it wasn't for another few moments until she realized the true reason: Never again would she face the miniature terrors of everyday life alone but for a horse. Naturally, Addy had had friends, but none were of consequence; all were superficial ornaments with little effect on her life. But here was something she could feel, and what she could feel, she could trust. Perhaps she would come to deeply trust the boy someday; perhaps not. Did it really matter? The future was no longer a threat, not really. She wasn't even a threat to herself at this point.
Consciously this time, albeit without much forethought, she made the necessary steps to bridge the gap between herself and Drynis. The urge took her to reach her left hand out until it touched skin, to find his right hand and hold it for security, but she did not do that. After all, this fleeting safe-feeling was enough, and it was not meant to be pushed or strained. So she merely stood, relaxed in the comfort of protection. Sure, the boy beside her had no idea the protection he provided, yet it was there and she was willing to take it, so why not? She merely stood, watching the moments pass. We'll get through this, she thought as her eyes found Drynis' face. I don't know what it is we'll get through, but it's not longer a threat to us. Not anymore.
Don't worry.

when you're on your own
i'll send you a sign
just so you know
that I am me, the universe, and you

This thread has reached its
END.