Beauty is only skin deep(Semper)

[semper]

Lieutenant DiNiro Richter

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There’s been plenty of times that I just felt like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place and as if the world just had a vendetta against me. Each and every time that painful feeling ached in my chest I’d just slip away from the shop and climb the ladder, pulling it up behind me and closing off the harrowing world below. I would immerse myself in the presence of my plants, tending to each of them and making sure they had water and no weeds growing in their pot. Having lived in a world where I had no control for so many years, it’s nice to be able to come up here and know that I have full authority over each plant. They’re things I’ve cultivated, watched grow, and taken care of – and they don’t talk down to me, that’s for sure. The plants don’t make me feel like the dimwitted idiot I believe that I am when compared to other people.

I keep an eye on Annastasia’s face as she looks around, waiting for some kind of reaction; I start to stand up as she begins talking and it completely catches me off guard. For a moment I thought she was going to blow it off as something stupid for a boy to do but she doesn’t – in fact she says quite the opposite. She praises it, telling me that it’s beautiful and I can’t help but smile. I’ve put so much work into caring for each plant – and never showed anyone for fear of embarrassment – and making sure they grow to their full potential, so it really makes me feel good. Bean didn’t insult me either when I showed him and, now that I think about it, he should’ve been the one to make me feel bad about being a gardener, not Annastasia. Both of them surprised me with their reactions.

The smile falters a bit as she comes over and puts her arms around me. To be frank, I’m not used to skin-on-skin contact like a hug. I freeze up, unsure if I should hug her in return or just stand there; it doesn’t matter what decision I make anyway because after she tells me she’s here for me, she kisses my check. She kisses my cheek. My face burns in sudden embarrassment and I look away, trying to hide it from her. ”Um—“ Bitting my lower lip, I hesitantly glance back up at her to see a scowl where there used to be a smile. I quickly nod in reply to her demand about the burn. ”I won’t tell anyone, I promise.” My voice gives away that the little peck on the cheek caught me terribly off guard and I try to recover, clearing my throat. ”I told someone else that they could come up here whenever they wanted so you can, too. The front door is always unlocked so just come on in.” I feel my face cooling off, much to my relief, and so I decide to venture out on a limb to ask her a question quietly. ”Do you really mean it? You’ll be there for me no matter what?”
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[Anna Banana]

It was fairly obvious to tell that my kiss caught him off guard, his cheeks were bright red as he looked at me. I wasn't sure why, it hadn't even been that much of a kiss, more like a quick peck on the cheek. He really was not a people person was he, more like he was just kind of...there. If he couldn't even accept one kiss from me without having his face look like a baboons backside than how in the world was he going to make it in the world. He really did need me, that rock he could lean on, someone who could protect him from all the cruel people of the world. In responce to my death stare he promised never to tell about anything that was going on in the privacy of his home, and I felt as if a weight was being lifted from my shoulders. If anyone knew about what went on here today, about my burn, about everything than my whole world would fall apart. It was bad enough that he had shoved me into a fountain this morning, I didn't need him to cause me any more embarrassment.

He was such a sap though, he still hadn't recovered from that one little kiss, his voice made that much clear. Though it regained some of it's composure for his next sentence, an offer, or a gift of sorts you could call it. He was giving me permission to come up into this garden whenever I wanted to, and that it was an offer that he had given to someone else one time. I couldn't help but wonder who this other person was, it had never occurred to me that he might have someone else who could be a friend. He didn't appear to be the kind of person who made friends easily, but hey, he wasn't the type to lie so for now I accepted it. The time for questions would come later, a tell all story about Lou, and he would be the one to tell me. After all, how could I protect him and be there for him if I didn't KNOW him, eventually he would have to tell me everything, but I would let him do it in his time...for now.

Than the stupid idiot has the nerve to ask me if I meant what I said about being there for him and all that other crap. I mean I couldn't really blame him for asking the question, I wasn't exactly the kind of person you would expect to offer something like that, but please, I can be nice when I want to be. I wasn't always rotten to the core, once upon a time I liked people and they liked me, it wasn't until the accident that everything changed for me. Not I don't really like people, and they definitely don't like me. I liked it that way though, at least until today, when no one would offer a hand of help to me when I fell into the fountain, I felt alone and weak. The only person who offered me any help was the boy that stood before me...Lou...he was the one who offered to help me when no one else would. It was only fair that I offer him friendship when he offered it to me, I was wearing the boys freaking clothes right now that had to be a sign of friendship if ever there was one.

"Of course I mean it you dolt, I wouldn't make the offer if I didn't, I'm going to help you out with anything and everything. I'll be the best friend you've ever had, and a simple call will have me at your side. I just have one thing to ask...that next time you push me into a fountain you have some proper clothes ready to give me...because there is a rather uncomfortable situation that came up with these ones." A small chuckle escaped my lips as I remembered changing into the clothes he had given me. There was no way he was getting these back, not now and not ever, hope he didn't like them to much. Moving over to him I took his hand and looked him straight in the eyes. "You have my word that I will always be here for you, you're my only friend, and that makes you important to me. I'll help you through anything you need me for, and if you ever want to talk than I'll be there for you. Like I said though, don't ever tell anyone about any of this, the conversations...anything, if anyone knew it would ruin me. You're the only one that needs to know about any of this, at least until I'm ready for others to know."

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[semper]

Lieutenant DiNiro Richter

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Her words are bittersweet, really. I don’t very much appreciate being called a ‘dolt,’ whatever that is, but then she says that she means what she said earlier. She will be my friend, she will help me when I need it – basically I won’t be alone anymore.

She then takes my hand and looks me dead in the eye, making me rather uncomfortable. I’ve always hated eye contact and my dad hated it even more, screeching at me or Brig to not ever look up at his face since he perceived it as a sign of aggression and would quickly beat us down to prove his superiority. I try to look away from her but I get the feeling that it’s rude to do so, especially after she’s offered to be my only friend.

Brig is – er, was – my only friend, but aren’t brothers supposed to be more than that? Someone dependable like a best friend? I could say that about my dad, too; I always hated having to wait afterschool for him to pick us up. Every other father had on this genuine smile and was happy to get their kid back but my dad wasn’t. He was the only man in the group of parents that had a permanent scowl on his face, twisting into an even gnarlier grimace when he saw Brig and I. Sometimes he’d grab us by the collar and jerk us along behind him, sometimes he wouldn’t – it was hard to tell just how bad of a sour mood he was in at any given moment. I also learned the hard way to not take a flower home for any reason. It was just a little yellow dandelion, nothing drastic; dad didn’t even make a notion toward it until we rounded the corner and went out of view of my schoolmates and their parents. All he said was “If you scream, you’re dead,” in a low, dark tone, and then my face met the ground and the world spun.

There’s never really been a time where I felt secure at all. Even when mom sent Brig and I to live with our grandparents, out of harm’s way, I still woke up screaming in the middle of the night and often went to Brig for comfort – but even the security of his presence ran out. He went away for some reason or another – no note, no warning, nothing – and left me to fend for myself, which I can certainly do but I just thought… you know… that he’d still be there, waiting behind the counter whenever I went downstairs.

Annastasia’s words sound true but I purse my lips together, fighting back the urge to question her more. All I did was push her into a fountain, pull her back out, and offer her something dry to wear and suddenly she’s professing eternal friendship. Frankly I’m unsure about that and it sounds rather fishy to me but I guess it’s worth a shot. What have I got to lose?

I force myself to look back at her. Her bright blue eyes are still zeroed in on me and I can feel myself cracking under what little pressure she’s putting on me, but I restrain myself from jerking my hand from her grasp. She’s not hurting me, she’s not hurting me, it’s okay. Annastasia really does mean what she said, doesn’t she? If so then I should be alright – right?

”Thank you, Annastasia,” I say quietly, forcing a ghost of a smile to my face. ”I swear I won’t tell anyone anything you’ve told me – just as long as you don’t tell anyone anything about me, no matter how ‘obvious’ it may be. Not until I’m ready for them to know.” Maybe it isn’t the best idea to use her own words against her, but if it keeps her from telling my secrets then I’ll do whatever I have to.
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[Anna Banana]

[bg=A61F04][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true][atrb=style,width: 500px;] He was silent...just a little too silent for my liking, it meant he was retreating into his head. It was never good when people retreated into their heads, there were only two reasons people did that. One, if they were regretting something or two, if they were thinking of a way to stab a knife into your back. I knew that Lou didn't have it in him though to stab anyone in the back, he was just a pathetic little runt. He had to be thinking of something though, maybe how strange I was acting. He didn't even want to look me in the eyes, was I that frightening to him, or was there more to that story also? Ugh, it was so strange, he thought way to much, I was a girl of action, and I loved to act. He was a boy of thinking who thought before he acted. I would be willing to bet that he thought about taking a step out the front door when he was ready to enter the real world. He was most definitely thinking though, I could see it in the way his eyes didn't focus on anything, that glazed over look. Or was that his usual look, ugh, why did being someone's friend have to be so hard. It made you have to think about things you never thought about before, or at least I never thought of them before. Being someones friend was to hard. I felt my foot rise off the floor and slam back down in that way that most impudent bratty girls do. I felt a blush rise to my cheeks and I quickly turned away so Lou wouldn't notice. Not that he would anyways, he was to busy staring off into space as if there was something more beautiful than me to stare at. Finally he woke up from that strange daze he was in and seemed to acknowledge that I was still in the room. He was playing the same game that I played with him, he told me he wouldn't tell as long as I didn't tell. Normally I would just go all berserk on him and just tell him he shouldn't try and make deals with me like that. I hated being told something like that, made me feel like I wasn't in charge of things. I just nodded my head though, I had to give him some confidence because that's what a "good" friend would do. Lou needed all the confidence he could get, otherwise he might just crumble into a million pieces. It wasn't fair to let him crumble like that, especially since I was his friend now. Wow, I was using that word more often now than I had in my whole life. Before today I could count on one hand, nay, one finger how many times I had used that word. It was amazing the change that could come over someone when they felt indebted to them. In any event I was now at a loss for words, Lou had shown that slight side of actually having a spine. It gave me hope that I wasn't modling him into something from scratch, I at least had something to work with.

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