Like the ocean that's ::running:: dry {Axel}

[mcmarti99]

Renn Perrysworth

[/size][/font][/i]

Can you feel me when I think about you?
With every breath I take
Every minute, no matter what I do
The world is an empty place[/i][/center][/size]

Xander's honesty, though sometimes almost brutal, was what Renn had always loved about him. Even when it forced a room to go from loud with laughter to silent and hostile. Renn's mother's reaction didn't change much. Sure, she was disappointed at the fact that District 1 was counting on a winner this year, but she was tickled that Xander was willing to give up so much for her daughter. Her father's reaction however was little different. He froze mid-sentence, already trying to interrupt Xander before he finished. Now though, he was frozen, a statue in time. His actions and thoughts were muffled. If he yelled, screamed at Xander that he was making a mistake, Renn might be offended. There was nothing more valuable to him than Renn's safety. So he decided to ask a simple, generic, question, but dribbled with strain in his voice.

"And your parents agreed to this?" Xander started to speak, his words about to become attemptingly calming. But Renn gave his hand a warning squeeze, her eyebrows furrowing together when he looked to her. He sighed, obviously wanting to explain the situation himself. But Renn knew more about her parents reactions than Xander did.

"Yeah, Dad. I've met them and everything. Xander's met Maria and Jameson and Rahm and everyone else too. They were all okay with it."[/b] Renn's throat went suddenly dry as she remembered the coldness in Xander's father's voice as he sent equally destroying comments spinning towards Renn. The cool touch of his hand as it struck her face, and how he hugged her a little too tight when Xander convinced him to give up on his training. The icy, awkward, awful, and guilty feelings that tormented Renn as Xander's family beat upon his back, kicked him out, and rejected Renn entirely, must have been tormenting Xander now. Surely he wanted to tell the whole story. Renn wasn't keen on piling much more onto her fragile mother's back, or unstable father's knees. It was a lot to take in. Renn pulling Xander Thrash, best tribute in all of District 1 away from the Districts pride for her own personal gain, with, as her father would put it, pure selfishness, that pure teenage desire for lust.

Renn knew he would be wrong in his accusations. Xander wanted to drop out of training. Renn in no way forced him to, in fact she'd tried to persuade him to continue with what his parents started, in many different forms. Sure, she didn't mind sharing a bed with Xander, or running her hands over the bare skin across his chest, but it was not the driving force in their relationship. They both knew that with such a confidence, even if Renn's father had tried to accuse them, both would simultaneously prove them wrong.

Returning from her thoughts, Renn started to feel the awkward in the room. She wanted to stand up and rush it away, return to the mild conversations that went on earlier. It was a touchy subject for everyone at the table. Renn's mother broke the silence, her voice curious instead of accusing. "And how long has this been going on?" Renn looked at Xander, chuckling a bit under her breath. She really had lost track of time ever since that first night she'd let herself go. That night that Xander took on a new belonging to her, and she to him too. "Not long, really."[/b] Renn smiled as she looked outside. Late summer was in full swing. The trees were turning their late green shades, some petals from the cherry tree covering the grass in white and pink blankets. It was beautiful, but it was too short. Renn was torn. Telling her parents they've been together for longer than they have would probably upset her dad, but thrill her mom. But telling them they'd been together for only a few months might infuriate them further, especially when Renn asked her mother if she was pregnant later.

So instead of continuing with her simple answer, she stared at her parents, waiting for them to ask something else. Xander squeezed her hand questioningly. Renn smiled and squeezed it back, sure to let love fill her eyes to their brim. Though kissing Xander right now wasn't a good idea, the separation between them burnt into Renn, and she needed to let him know she hadn't forgotten about him. "Mom, Dad. It's been so long since I've been here, do you mind if I show Xander around a little?"[/b] Renn's father took on a more impatient expression, but he nodded, waving them out as Renn's mother touched his hand tenderly.

Renn dragged Xander out, trying to get him out before he said something else. She was also extermely desperate to get him alone, to run her hands through his hair as much as she wanted, to press her lips into his and let their bodies filled every space between them. The minute they got outside, Renn ran to the backyard, pausing to close the gate quietly. She pulled Xander into the garden shed, out of sight and hearing from the house. Renn closed the doors tightly behind them, launching into Xander's arm and laughing excitedly into his neck. He looked at her confusingly, and setting her down on the ground again demanded an explanation. "Xander, I know you think that went absolutely wrong in every way but it really didn't. My parents are like me, they like to think through everything before they entirely jump to conclusions. They're weird, they just can't handle a lot at one time. I didn't mean to keep you from talking... I just really don't want to overload them. But you're doing fine! I promise."[/b] Renn moved into Xander, her hands creeping from the front of his hips to his back, pulling herself into him.

Her hands didn't get past his shoulders on their way to his hair when he started to speak.

{Sorry this sucks to much and it's not very long and it took a long time xD I tried but I didn't really know where to go with it. When it down, flee out.}[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

The stars are burning I hear your voice in my mind
Can't you hear me calling
My heart is yearning
Like the ocean that's running dry
Catch me I'm falling

[/size][/center][/i]

[Anna Banana]

I thought that when her parents heard the news that they might explode or something, but the responce was rather tame, at least compared to what I was expecting. Renn's mother sat silent in her chair, her thoughts impossible to read, however, her father's thoughts were easy to read. He looked almost ready to shake with barely controlled anger, in an attempt to be civil, but I could tell he was mad. When he spoke it felt like a knife was being plunged into my back, and I knew that he was angry that I had given up my training. It was like I was at my parents all over again, I felt like his eyes would bore a hole straight through me when he looked at me and asked if my parents approved. I almost laughed when he said that, if only he knew what my parents really thought about all of this.

Each bruise that still felt so fresh from the other day seemed to stand out on my back, and the pain once more felt so real. It was like each word that he said represented another blow to me, and finally when it was all over I felt tired and defeated. I gathered my thoughts and prepared to respond to him, but I felt a gentle pressure on my hand from Renn. I glanced at her questioningly and her eyebrows knit together in a small frown, and I knew that she wanted to be the one to try and explain it. I was a bit disappointed by that, why wouldn't she let me be the one to explain my own position on things? Was she afraid that I would mess things up, maybe cause her parents to fly into some rage? She knew me better than that, I would never try and upset her parents. Anyone else, yes, I would love to get a rise out of them, but her parents, after the time she spent away from them...never. None the less I silenced myself at her request...but only because SHE was the one that wanted me to shut up. Her explanation was a little less than...descriptive, she brushed aside my parents with a few simple words and than said that I had met her foster family on the other side of the district. I had to admit she had alot of nerve to be skipping around her father's words like that, and I was grateful to her. She must have sensed the pain that had gone through me at the mention of my family.

There was no responce though, it was absolute silence, not one of those tolerable silences either, one of those extremely awkward ones. I looked from her mother to her father and squeezed Renn's hand trying to find comfort in at least one thing here. I could only imagine the thoughts that were going through their heads though, regret, loathing, and a feeling that I was making a mistake. Everyone seemed to see it that way, they just didn't understand the relationship that Renn and I had. Whether it was ignorance or they just didn't want to understand I didn't know, but it bothered me that they didn't make any effort to understand. Her parent's didn't even know all that much, they only knew just enough to "accept" Renn and I. Maybe that's why Renn didn't want me saying anything to them, she didn't want them to know that much so as not to burden them. Normally I would say what they don't know won't hurt them, but I knew that they needed to know at least part of the truth, more than they knew at least.

When voice finally broke that uncomfortable silence that had settled over the room I think I probably heaved a sigh of relief. Though it was a problem that it was Renn's parents and not Renn who broke it. I would have preferred that it had been Renn, but who was I to complain, the awkward moment was over for now. Though the question was sure to cause a much more awkward situation, just hearing it made me feel awkward. How could we possibly explain how we had met in battle, I had followed her, and than slept with her near the lake. Just listing it off in my head sounded strange, if it were my daughter I probably would have grounded her or something and told her that she was never to see another boy again. Completely illogical train of thought considering all things, and I had no idea why that occured to me.

I was happy though when Renn took hold of the situation once more because I had no idea what to say to them. Three words, that's all it took "not long really", if only I had thought of that. Instead I was sitting here like a dumb ox letting her do all the talking for us. Those three words though, it was a lie and yet...it wasn't a lie, in all honesty I had lost track of the time that had passed since we had been together. Almost like I had been reborn when I had met her, and the amount of time that passed no longer mattered to me. It triggered another silence though, Renn staring at her parents and them staring back almost as if they were having a silent debate with eachother. I could do nothing but sit idly by wondering when this next silence would be broken.

Luckily it happened sooner than I thought it would, Renn asked if she could show me around the house. Her father responded with a stiff nod, and together we rose from the table and walked out the door into the fresh outdoor air. She pulled me along behind her, through the backyard, the garden, and straight into...a shed. Not the most romantic place in the world, but at least we were alone. Though it kind of shocked me when Renn jumped into my arms and started laughing. I couldn't understand why she was laughing, it had gone terrible in there, they probably thought I was just a dumb ox that only knew how to fight. Even I was beginning to think that, I certainly felt that way after sitting in that house with them. She seemed to think it had gone well though, so if she thought so than it must have, after all I didn't know her parents all that well. Her hands slid lazily over my body creeping up my shoulders and I began to speak as they did.

"Renn...I don't think your father approves, despite your assurances I still can't help but feel as if the mood turned hostile after you told them what little you did. I don't know maybe I'm just being a little paranoid or something, but I just feel as if he doesn't want to understand. Maybe you could talk to the two of them alone, explain the situation more? I mean they might be more receptive of things if you're the one that is telling them...alone. I could just sit in the kitchen and you could just talk to them a little bit. We can't tell them half truths and expect them to understand or accept us, we just need to tell them the truth...all of it."

Leaning down into you I kissed her on the lips and pulled her into me. I needed to be with her, even this alone time with her was enough to revitalize my spirit. There was no one that I loved more than her, and no matter what they said it could never separate us.

[/justify]

[mcmarti99]

Renn Perrysworth

[/size][/font][/i]

Can you feel me when I think about you?
With every breath I take
Every minute, no matter what I do
The world is an empty place[/i][/center][/size]

"Renn...I don't think your father approves, despite your assurances I still can't help but feel as if the mood turned hostile after you told them what little you did. I don't know maybe I'm just being a little paranoid or something, but I just feel as if he doesn't want to understand. Maybe you could talk to the two of them alone, explain the situation more? I mean they might be more receptive of things if you're the one that is telling them...alone. I could just sit in the kitchen and you could just talk to them a little bit. We can't tell them half truths and expect them to understand or accept us, we just need to tell them the truth...all of it."

Xander leaned down, pressing his lips into Renn's and sending that steady vibration of warmth across her body as it fitted into his. A thought tugged at Renn's mind, distracting her from Xander's kiss. She impatiently tried to shove it away, longing for the full warmth of Xander's kiss to embrace her, but it kept nagging at the back of her mind. The truth, Xander'd said. All of it. Renn knew telling them the truth was a bad idea. The truth about her and Xander being future parents. Parents in the near future.

Not even Xander knew about the baby yet, and neither did Renn entirely. But it was one of those times when you just know. It was unfair that she was keeping the one thing that would change his mind about everything from him. She wanted to be sure. All the signs were there, staring her in the face, constantly demanding her attention. Each kiss, each hug, each handhold, they were all like little sparks jumping into a flame. Burning Renn from the inside out with the guilt of lying to him. Keeping the truth from him, when his own child was slowly developing, causing changes in Renn she'd only notice, was constantly painful. Each time his hands ran over her body she cringed as they reached her stomach, afraid that somehow, he'd feel something there. Once, his hands had lingered at her stomach, and she was sure it was over. But they'd moved on, and he'd never mentioned it. Surely, he knew something was different. He knew her better than anyone. Her every weakness and strength, when she was lying. He'd known something had been up, but he'd been polite enough to only mention it once.

Renn pulled away from him, the closeness making the burning in her chest becoming too fierce to handle. She pressed a hand against his chest, feeling the unsteady thump of his heart, identical to the rhythm of her own. Her eyes traveled hesitantly to his, lingering on his every feature before climbing up the stair steps of his jaw to his eyes. Her hand moved to his cheek, running along the length of his jaw as her lips spread into a smile. Concern dampened his features, but his eyes sparkled in the light that crept through the holes in the wood of the rotten shed. "Xander, you have to understand. There's reasons people keep things from people they love."[/b] Renn kept the statement general, and Xander noticed, since his plea was directed towards her parents. "There's something I... haven't told you. Something that's constantly burning in me each time you... each time your hands are on my stomach. Xander... I'm... I think I'm... pregnant."[/b] Renn pressed a hand over Xander's mouth, speaking her last three words in a whisper. His pupils tripled in size, the blackness in them covering some of the auburn in Xander's eyes. He froze completely, his lips turning to stone under Renn's hand. Three words, with the power to completely change everything. Renn hoped he'd see why they couldn't tell her parents just yet. But even more than that, Renn hoped his reaction would stir something in her, as her feelings about being pregnant were overly dull. A mixture of fear and the burning of lying were all the feelings that Renn had associated with this news. These three little words she just knew were true.[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

The stars are burning I hear your voice in my mind
Can't you hear me calling
My heart is yearning
Like the ocean that's running dry
Catch me I'm falling

[/size][/center][/i]

[Anna Banana]

I didn't get much of a reaction from her, almost like her heart wasn't in this kiss. None of that usual enthusiasm was behind it, just like it had been in the park the other day. She was thinking about something again, that secret that I was so sure that was being kept from me. I spoke of telling her parents the whole truth, and yet something didn't seem right between the two of us. How could I expect for us to tell them the whole truth when I felt like even I didn't know the whole truth. For some reason she was keeping a secret from me, and the weight must be heavy on her shoulders otherwise she wouldn't go into these lapses of silence. Whatever it was though it couldn't be enough to cause a rift between us, I would understand whatever it was.

Only once had I asked about it refusing to upset her by inquiring further. I had "let the sleeping dog lay" as the saying went, in other words I wasn't going to upset her by badgering her with questions about it. Pulling away from me she looked up into my face and pressed her hand against my chest, right over my heart. Her eyes moved along the features of my face as her hand moved up to my cheek. A smile played along her lips and I looked at her questioningly, even more so when she told me that sometimes secrets were kept for a reason between loved ones. Suddenly I had some doubts about what the secret was, maybe it was better that I didn't know, so many different scenarios ran through my head, none of them good. But the look in her eyes showed that it wasn't anything serious, there was no fear or regret in her body language or eyes, it was a broad way of explaining that her parents didn't need to know everything. I couldn't help but still feel as if somehow it should mean something to me...about us.

Her next words were quiet, and there was alot of hesitancy in it as she stumbled along. It started as a secret that she had been keeping from me, and how it seemed to weigh heavily on her every time my hand moved along her stomach. My heart lept up at those words, but I didn't dare to imagine what would come next. It wasn't until she said those words that I had been waiting to hear for so long that I seemed temporarily leave this world "I think I'm pregnant". I fell backwards away from her in shock and absolute happiness, I felt my body crash into a rack of tools behind me, and when I moved to the side I only succeeded in breaking a row of pots that sat on a bench. Trying to regain some composure over myself I moved infront of her and looked into her eyes looking for sincerity and truth in her words. All I saw was complete happiness and love in her eyes and I knew that it was the honest truth. I reached for her and placed my hand over her stomach, and I felt something stirring in my heart as it lay there. The feeling that our child was right there, so close and yet so far. I understood what she meant now by secrets being kept from the ones you love. If her parents were to learn of this than they would be totally agianst us being together. I couldn't think of that though, right now it was just me and Renn....Renn was pregnant...with...our child.

I swept her up in my arms and spun her around me laughing as I did. No words could explain how I felt right now, such a swarm of emotions that I couldn't possibly explain. I wanted to ask her so many questions and just sit here with her for hours, but I knew that I couldn't do that. Her parents would begin to wonder where we were, and than they would ask so many questions. "Renn, I told you before that I was the happiest person in all of District 1 because you were mine, and I loved you so much. This news, that changes everything though, you're pregnant Renn...with our child. Oh my gosh, I can't believe this, I don't believe it, it's just...I don't know, what to say. What will you tell your parents, we won't be able to keep this a secret for very long Renn. We need to say something, to them, at least tell your mother something." My mouth continued to move but the shock was setting in again and no words were coming out. I finally closed my mouth and just wrapped my arms around her, rocking back and forth in a state of complete bliss and happiness.

[/justify]

[mcmarti99]

Renn Perrysworth

[/size][/font][/i]

Can you feel me when I think about you?
With every breath I take
Every minute, no matter what I do
The world is an empty place[/i][/center][/size]

The cold that settled in on Renn as Xander moved away from her was colder than any ice age. Cooler than any winter rain. It Renn in pieces, like shards of glass or hail being thrown at her from the sky, landing right above her ribs and sending a painful jolt all the way up her spine. The pain that nestled in right in the lower pit of her stomach, right where the baby would be was cutting Renn open, almost like she'd gone into labor early. Xander didn't want the baby. It was just like her nightmare so many moons ago. When she'd woken up, the absence of Xander's body as chilling as it was now, she'd screamed at him, a stream of curse words tumbling out of her mouth, muffled by the tears lodged in her throat. It was the same as her dream, and she'd have to raise the baby alone. It's what had been keeping Renn from telling Xander all along.

All this time, and that dream never left her, reoccurring in one of the few nights when Xander would rock her back to sleep. In those days, she'd been able to convince herself it was a dream. Time and time again Xander had tried to talk to her about children. He loved Maria, and he loved Renn. He loved kids and he wanted a piece of Renn walking around and tumbling over the edge of the carpet. He'd said he wanted a little girl to hold when she was scared, a boy to teach all his training to. Now though, as he fumbled in the mess he'd made falling backwards, he'd shied away from it.

And it shook through Renn like a catastrophic earthquake. A single tear dripped down her face, her body too emotionally drained to handle more than that. Then Xander moved in front of her. She hid her face, finally starting to face the fact that this, them, Xander and Renn Thrash, could never work. Not if he didn't want the baby.

One of his hands lifted her shirt, the other slipping under and glazing the skin across her tummy. Renn jumped against the coolness of his palm against her skin. She felt her stomach do back flips, almost as if the baby was certain Xander was it's father. Renn moved her hand under Xander's, taking it's place as it moved away. Renn kept her head down, and slowly leaned into Xander's chest, her forehead hitting right at his collarbone. That was why she didn't see the love in his eyes as he beamed at her. She didn't hear his heart over the pounding of her own. Renn was completely oblivious to the fact that Xander was happy.

And as his arms slipped around her back, pulling her tight against his front, and starting swinging her legs out as he spun them in circles, Renn realized. He was happy, he was laughing. He wanted the baby, and he wanted Renn. Xander stammered on, talking of how he was the happiest man in District 1, how shocked he was, and how he felt like they needed to tell her parents.

He went on and on, his mouth moving before words could escape it. A smile slowly crept onto Renn's face, her heart steadily accelerating, a from a muffled boom to a loud thud. It was insane, the emotions that fluttered through Renn one at a time. Her eyes drifted to Xander's, the auburn in them enough to reassure her, he would never leave her, ever.

His arms laced around her again, and Renn moved into him, burying her face in his chest, taking in that morning smell of Xander. She moved her lips up to his, pressing them together so lightly, but to where there was no space separating the pairs of lips. Letting it linger for a minute, Renn pulled back, telling Xander in the least shaky voice she could find in herself.

"I love you."[/b]


They talked and talked, of things they would do with a baby. The things they would make for it and all the time they'd spend with it. They talked for a long time, the curious eyes of Renn's parents either staying inside or at least well hidden. At last, after almost an hour, the sun was starting to set, darkness about to settle in over the district. Renn lead Xander out of the shed and back to her window. He let her stand on the palms of his hands to boost herself up into the two story window, and he followed after. The sweet scent of Cherry blossoms filled the air, their petals still scattered across the light carpet. The room was totally bare, the walls a sky blue and the carpet an off-white. Just as Renn was about to settle onto the bed, her hand at Xander's arm to pull him on top of her, her mother's voice cut in. "The tree almost died this summer. It was early summer, the day you left a few years ago when it began to wither. No, at your arrival, Renn, it's in full bloom, the best I've seen it in a decade." Renn laughed at her mother, Xander slowly backing away from Renn.

Renn pulled his hand back, crossing his arms in front of her stomach as her mother motioned for them to follow her downstairs for dinner. [/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

The stars are burning I hear your voice in my mind
Can't you hear me calling
My heart is yearning
Like the ocean that's running dry
Catch me I'm falling

[/size][/center][/i]

[Anna Banana]

The look of pure happiness and joy on Renn's face was enough to make me feel as if the world around me ceased to exist. There were no words to describe how I felt right now, to know that Renn and I would be parents, that our child was in her stomach, so close and yet so far. Her arms wrapped around me and I held her close, held both of them so close, Renn and our child. The thought was still foreign to me, knowing that we were both parents, it scared me, and yet I was excited by the prospect of being a parent. It still brought to mind the horrible visions of losing our child to the Games, but for now I couldn't think of that. I had to let the happiness of this moment overtake me, not let thoughts of a far off future cloud this moment. She whispered to me with as much control as she could muster that she loved me, and I knew it now more than ever. Our love for eachother had never been secret, but now...this child was the true sign of that love.

For what seemed like hours we talked to eachother in that little shed, about the baby, what we would do upon it's arrival, how we would take care of it. Not once were we interrupted by her parents, either they weren't worried about the two of us together or they possibly knew that we were and what we were talking about. That was a silly notion though, they couldn't possibly know about this conversation, they couldn't know about it ever. Or at least until Renn was ready to tell them or they found out on there own, they would only be able to keep it a secret for a small time. The signs would become clearly obvious to the people around them within a month or two, than the whole story surrounding the two of them would have to be told. Unless...the plan to run away came to fruition...the plan to live in the woods would come to pass. Once more I couldn't think about that, I had to live in the moment, enjoy what would come to pass. Our conversation came to a close and we slipped out of the shed, a darkened District 1 welcomed us as the sun slipped behind the wall of houses that surrounded us.

We crept over to her bedroom window and I lifted her up so she could climb in, and I jumped in after her. The room was mostly bare, the years of being empty had made it lose some of the life that a bedroom normally had, but it was home to Renn. Walking over to the bed Renn made as if to fall ontop of it and pull me down with her, but before the motion could be carried through her mother's voice startled the two of us. She spoke of how the tree had appeared to die while Renn was gone, but on her return it came back, it's beautiful blossoms once more in full bloom. Renn laughed and I started to back away only to be pulled back into Renn and have her cross my arms over her stomach. Her mother motioned for us to follow her downstaires for dinner, we followed her downstairs and sat at the table that we had spoken to eachother at earlier in the day. The atmosphere at the table was one of stiff silence, I was afraid to open my mouth for fear that I might say something that would give away the biggest secret in the world...the secret of our child.

[/justify]

[mcmarti99]

Renn Perrysworth

[/size][/font][/i]

Can you feel me when I think about you?
With every breath I take
Every minute, no matter what I do
The world is an empty place[/i][/center][/size]

Renn skipped down the stairs, dragging Xander behind her. It felt like her entire body was electrified, her every sense sharper. But the secret that made Renn skip made Xander's feet drag. He slipped into a silence where Renn strained to reach him. He was unresponsive to her touch, and not as perky as he usually was. Renn didn't let it bother her though. He loved the baby, whether it made him silent or not.

Renn followed her mother into the kitchen, Xander still at her side. She filled up his plate just like she had at her other home. With way too much food. But he'd hardly eaten today, surely he could finish that. She smiled and winked and giggled as her parents watched. Her mother watched with curiosity. She'd seen Renn in love before with Wade. But that was a more cold and quiet relationship that had some sort of manipulative depth, at least that's how Renn used to think. They never held hands, never hugged, never laughed around her parents. Wade and Renn snuck off a lot, and that was when they'd save those little things for. Renn was happy it wasn't like that with Xander. Wade had always been possesive, a bit to the extreme, but Xander was just possesive enough to make Renn feel safe, but free. Renn's father, on the other hand, his eyes never left Xander. It was like he was trying to figure out why on earth Xander had ever thought about quitting training. He was well equipped for more than just protecting Renn. And despite her father's beliefs, Renn knew that too.

After filling their plates with mashed potatoes, beans, and steak Renn moved to that table. Xander pulled her chair out for her like always, then took his place next to her. A chilly silence settled over the table. Under the table, Renn fumbled around for Xander's hand. Their hands bumped, awkwardly encased each other, then became tangled. Renn let out a barely audible chuckle as she used both her hands to position Xander's hand for him. She knew he was nervous about this, but they both needed a little bit of comfort from each other to make it through dinner.

Renn's mother ate like usual, like she couldn't feel the tension that loomed over the table, but Renn knew she knew it was there. She just refused to add to it by speaking. Renn's father's expression softened over the course of the meal. Xander was on his last heaping pile of food when Renn's father spoke.

[/size]"So Renn, just how much of your clothes did you have to take off to get Xander to agree to stop training?" Renn dropped her fork, then drew her hand from Xander's as she clutched her stomach and exploded with laughter. She knew from the tone in his voice that he was joking, but his question froze Xander, right in the middle of a bite of potatoes. Her mother laughed too. Two sets of twinkling bells rang in the dining room, accompanied by the low harmonious noise of her father's laugh. He clapped Xander on the back. "I'm just kidding there bub."

Xander still seemed to be recovering from that one. The thing was, he'd never had to get Renn out of her clothes, though sometimes he did, just because she wanted him to. It was a harmless question really. Renn wiggled her fingers back into Xander's trying to restore some of the life in his eyes. He looked at her, worry plastered on his face. Renn caressed his face with her free hand, telling him with her eyes it's okay. "It depends. Mom, how much of your clothes did you-"[/b] "How are Maria and the others?" Renn's father interrupted. Renn laughed. "Good. Rahm grew about four feet and Jameson is still Jameson. Maria's in school, curious as ever." [/b]The rest of dinner resumed in conversation like this, the subject never wavering to Xander and Renn's relationship. It'd been years. Renn and her parents had quite enough to talk about. [/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

The stars are burning I hear your voice in my mind
Can't you hear me calling
My heart is yearning
Like the ocean that's running dry
Catch me I'm falling

[/size][/center][/i]

[Anna Banana]

[bg=404A53][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true][atrb=style,width: 500px;] Renn skipped happily down the stairs, close on the heals of her mother, and pulled me behind her excitedly. I couldn't understand her apparent excitement or even her willingness to hurry down the stairs to a family that she was keeping such a huge secret from. It made me feel uncomfortable to be keeping something like that from them and I wasn't even their child. I knew why it had to be kept a secret and everything, I mean learning that you're pregnant at such a young age is not generally something one wants to tell their parents. But they would end up learning eventually, wouldn't keeping it a secret just make it worse than it had to be. I couldn't help but imagine Renn walking into the house one day with her baby bump and the shocked looks on her parents faces. I couldn't think about that now though, I knew Renn had no intention of mentioning it at all this evening, or at any time for that matter, and I had to respect that. So when we got downstairs I put on the best fake smile I could and stuck by Renn's side. Once more it was Renn that started to fix the plates, filling mine up with more food than even I could hope to eat. She knew I would eat it though simply because I didn't want to insult her family by NOT eating it. So even if by the end of the meal I exploded I was going to make sure that I ate everything on that plate. The whole time she did so she was giggling, laughing, and smiling at her parents. I probably would have been laughing myself if I didn't have so much on my mind right now. Once the plate had been filled we made our way to the table, her parents taking their seats and Renn and I sitting opposite them. I was probably as stiff as a statue as I sat there, unmoving and unwilling to say anything lest I make a bad impression. The alternative was complete silence for me so that's exactly what I was going to do. In the mean time I felt Renn's hand fumbling underneath the table in an attempt to to get a hold of mine. To make that situation worse I tried to enclose her hand in mine which only served to make us bump our hands several times. When we finally were able to get a hold of eachothers hands another uncomfortable silence settled over the room. That was until the least likely person in the room to speak did infact...speak. Renn's father of all people was the one to break the silence, though I wished he hadn't. A question that made me practically melt into the floor with embarrasment. Of all things for him to mention or ask he wanted to know how much of her clothing Renn had taken off to get me to stop my training. Several images came to my mind of when Renn HAD taken her clothes off, but that wasn't the reason I had quit the training. I needed to be there for Renn and now our baby, I couldn't do both it just wasn't possible for me to be a good husband...and father if I was still caught up in training. How Renn and her parents could laugh about it I wasn't sure, especially Renn who knew of some of our...exploits together. In any event I felt like finding a nice rock to hide under. Than on top of that Renn was about to ask how much her mother had taken off to get her father. Lucky for me the conversation was dropped before anyone else could answer. It took a better turn when questions were asked about how her foster family was on the other side of the district, and I silently breathed a sigh of relief. The rest of dinner carried on normally and without any more incidents, but her father's question still stung the back of my mind and made me feel a little guilty. There was more to that question than just a simple laugh, there was a question in that question. I didn't have much time to think about it though, once I had finished my dinner and the plates had been cleared from the table Renn's parents made their way into the livingroom. Taking me by the hand Renn followed behind them and waited for her parents to take their seats in their chairs before leading me over to the fireplace. She sat down, her back against a sofa, and pulled me down next to her. For a few minutes we all sat in silence, Renn beside me so as not to upset her parents, and her mother and father sitting silently in their chairs. Perhaps in a moment of no thought or just plain stupidity I took Renn by the waist and lifted her onto my lap. I needed to have her close by me, an anchor of sorts to make sure that I didn't go completely crazy with secrets that were becoming so prevelant in our relationship.

[/color]
[/td][/tr][/table][/center]

[mcmarti99]

Renn Perrysworth

[/size][/font][/i]

Can you feel me when I think about you?
With every breath I take
Every minute, no matter what I do
The world is an empty place[/i][/center][/size]

Xander had left the rest of his food untouched. Renn didn't mention it, and neither did her parents. Xander again slumped into his realm of silence where no matter what Renn did, she couldn't get him to respond. His eyes stayed fixed ahead, not even considering drifting upwards for the fear that they would meet Renn's father's. She stood, grabbing his plate for him as he sat statue still at the table. She slipped them under her mother's elbow and into the sink. On any other night, Renn would help with the dishes. She enjoyed using her hands for productivity, especially when she could gaze out the window. Before Renn left, Wade would watch her do the dishes, never once offering to help. Eying Xander's blank expression reminded Renn of that possessive glance she'd receive from Wade every night as she soaked her hands in the warmth of dirty dish water.

Renn's mother sensed it. That look Renn got on her face when Wade crossed her mind and silently dismissed Renn. She took Xander's hand gently, his warm grip on her hand quieting her invalid comparisons. They followed her parents into the living room. Renn shivered. She walked Xander over to the sofa by the fireplace and sat down, pulling him down with her. She ran her hands over, out, and through Xander's, the warmth of his palm calming her shivers. Renn's eyes started to drift close, the proximity of Xander's warming presence calming her thoughts. She leaned her head against his shoulder. Right before she began to lay her head down in his lap, he took her by the waist and balanced her on his lap.

Temporarily forgetting her parents were even there, she snuggled her face into Xander's neck. Her lips moved up his neck to his ear. Xander's jaw blocked most of what Renn was doing. He slowly moved his hand up to her head, pressing gently on it to press her lips into his neck. His hands pet her hair, combing out some of the tangles in it. Renn pressed her forehead into Xander's neck, the curve of his jaw positioned perfectly over her head. She put her hand on his opposite shoulder and hugged herself to him. Her eyes drifted close.

They sat there, no one breaking the silence that hung in the air. The familiar scent of burning wood reached Renn's nose. They didn't have a fireplace at their apartment. Then she remembered they were at her house. Her eyes shot open, but she didn't break away from Xander. Her mother was watching them, surprise covering her features. She'd never seen Renn like this before. So consumed in her love for a boy, that she forget her location and ignore the stares of those around her. Renn laughed, sitting up and stretching out. She yawned loudly, being the first noise besides the crackling of the fire in the room.

[/size]"Xander? I'll show you to the guest room. You must be tired,"[/size] Renn's mother spoke. Xander stood, scooping Renn up in the process. Xander was resistant to let Renn go, and she was reluctant to be set down. They stood for another moment, just staring into each other's eyes. It's okay, Xander. She doesn't bite. Renn told him with her eyes. He set her down, holding her waist to check her balance for a minute. Not because he needed to, because he didn't want to sleep without her. Renn knew that. She didn't want to either. But there was a way around that.

Xander's hands left Renn's waist, but she grabbed his arms and pulled him back into her, forgetting once again that her parents were in the room. Her hands went to his neck, and her lips floated up to his. For single second, the whole world stopped spinning. They were back in Renn's room at her other house. They were in the window seat, speaking of children. They were chasing each other around the room and stealing kisses between the tickles and the laughter. They were laughing and loving and everything was perfect. For a minute, Renn lived in the past, in those few second of a stolen, fleeting kiss. Right in front of her parents. Then Xander was pulling away, whispering goodnight, and following her mother down the hall.

Renn stood, her arms empty of the one thing she needed to breathe. Her father wrapped an arm around her shoulder and led her to her room. He gave her a quick kiss on the forehead and walked out. Then he popped back in. "He's not like Wade." Her father said, then smiled, and shut the door behind him.

Renn crawled into her bed, brushing the cherry tree petals into the floor. She could have smiled at the news of a baby in her stomach. She could have giggled about the way Xander tried so hard to impress her parents. She could have been thankful for the perfect man and the perfect life and the perfectness of almost everything. But all Renn could feel as she traced patterns on her ceiling out of habit, was the absence of that perfect man. That perfect man that had made the rest of her life fall gently into place, like a petal from a cherry tree. All she could feel was the cold on her legs, and all she could think about was how she'd never get rid of the feeling unless Xander's legs brushed against them.

Then she was out of bed, quietly shuffling down the hall. She was desperately searching for Xander. Her hands felt along the walls in the darkness. Then she was feeling something else. The presence of another person. The familiar warmth that filled her when Xander and her touched. Then their fingers were intertwined. He'd come out of the bathroom, and her searching hands had found his chest, the hardness of it too much like the wall for her to notice. He'd caught her hands as they glode across his body. He'd pulled her into him. And all the happiness she couldn't feel when she was alone, flood into Renn, filling her to brim with giddy happiness.

Renn's eyes focused on Xander's in the darkness. They were glowing, the bronze shining in the dim moonlight coming through the hall window. She threw her arms around his waist, hugging him as tight as she could. His hand traced her jaw as she looked up at him. "I love you."[/b] Renn whispered. She stepped back, pulling Xander with her. They stumbled through the doorway, both their knees growing increasingly weak. Renn moved back until the back of her knees hit the bed. She pulled Xander on top of her as she fell back onto the bed. His lips fell into hers, and his legs brushed against her, and that fuzzy little warmth moved up Renn's body as they kissed more passionately then they ever had. The hurt of being away from one another melting between their bodies.[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

The stars are burning I hear your voice in my mind
Can't you hear me calling
My heart is yearning
Like the ocean that's running dry
Catch me I'm falling

[/size][/center][/i]

[Anna Banana]

[bg=6C7070][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true][atrb=style,width: 500px;] Sitting in the livingroom with Renn so close to me made me almost feel at home. By home I didn't mean this place, or home with my parents, home to me was that old apartment that I lived in with Renn. If I was truly going to give a definition to home...home was anywhere that Renn and I were together. As long as she was with me I was happy, which is exactly why I having her nestled into my body, her shape conforming perfectly with mine. Her face rested gently against my neck, her light breathing causing goosebumps to form along my neck. I think both of us forgot where we were though, the way that Renn was curling into me with out a care in the world. She couldn't see the looks on her parents faces as the space between the two of us went from casual and comfortable to intimate and very close. Finally Renn seemed to remember where it was we were and she quickly moved a little bit away from my frame. She took in the looks of her mother and father opposite the two of us, and with a laugh sat up in my lap. She stretched out her slender frame and as she did her mother got up from her chair and offered to bring me to a room. Lazily I stood up taking Renn with me, but I found that my arms didn't want to relinquish their grip on her. I needed her, the warmth that flooded through my body when she was with me. I stared at her and a silent conversation passed between us as she let me know it would all be okay. It didn't feel like it would be okay though, already without her being so close I felt cold and empty. I could only imagine what it would be like for me when I climbed into bed...alone for the first time in some many months. Finally I relinquished my grip on her waist only to have her pull me back into her for a quick kiss. Was it a goodbye kiss or just a goodnight kiss, why did it feel like I would be losing her if I let her go. Once her lips separated from mine my heart seemed to drop out of my chest and die. A whispered goodnight passed between the two of us, and I was led down the hall to my room. Her mother opened the door to the room, a sparcely decorated area that told me it was just a spare room. I didn't mind that much though it was a place to sleep, with a comfortable bed and the proper accomodations. When the door close behind me I walked to the center of the room and began to pace back and forth wondering why I couldn't sleep with Renn. Finally I crawled into bed and tried to fall asleep, but I felt so cold and alone. I didn't have the familiar warmth of Renn at my side, the feeling of her skin against my arm as I held her close to me. I would open my eyes expecting to see the top of her head, those wild curls from turning in her sleep, clearly visible to my eyes. She wasn't there though, and the coldness that I felt penetrated into my heart and soul. Once more I rose up from the bed and paced about the room debating what to do. Stepping out of the room and slipping silently down the hallway I went into the bathroom, turned on the light and stared at the reflection of a young man who was longing for the love of his life. Turning on the faucet I splashed water into my face to see if I could get a better grip on my thoughts, but it only served to remind me of the day I cleaned the cuts on Renn's hand. With a huff of exasperation I turned off the water, dried my hands, and turning off the lights opened the door to the bathroom. As soon as I did I felt the soft, familiar touch of the person I loved against the bare skin of my chest. Reaching down I took hold of her hand and pulled it up to my cheek. It was as if fate wanted us to be together, nothing would separate us. Together we walked back to my room, or rather Renn pulled me down the hallway to my room. Pushing the door closed behind us I allowed myself to be led to the edge of the bed and as Renn fell backwards taking me with her I wrapped my arms around her. As soon as we hit the bed together I felt like I was in familiar territory. I had my arms around her once more, and her familiar shape was pressed up against mine. This time when I closed my eyes I would be able to fall asleep, and when I inevitably woke up I would be able to look upon the top of her head and gently kiss her forehead. There were people that said that they needed to be with the person they loved, but what Renn and I had put them to shame. Renn and I had one existence, and that was the two of us together...forever...we needed eachother to survive.

[/color][/td][/tr][/table][/center]

[mcmarti99]

Renn Perrysworth

[/size][/font][/i]

Can you feel me when I think about you?
With every breath I take
Every minute, no matter what I do
The world is an empty place[/i][/center][/size]

The sun shone through the blinds, the dust from the barely touched shade drifting in the afternoon light. Renn woke up colder than she ever had. As she scrambled for the covers, her hand ran across something else. Human skin. Bare, exposed skin. But she didn't feel her hand on her body. Then she realized, it wasn't her skin she was feeling. It was Xander's. They were laying back to back, his hands limply placed on his pillow. They were in the center of the huge bed. Even though they had all the space to spread out, they preferred to be snuggled into each other, Renn's hands curled against Xander's chest, her face snuggled into his neck. He turned over in his sleep, enclosing Renn in that comfortable cocoon that his body made for her. She turned too, so that they were face to face. Her hand was moving up to his mouth, about to tug on his lower lip like she always did when a hard hand gripped her wrist. The hand dragged her out the bed, throwing her against the closet door. Wood splintered her hand, and she held it against her chest.

The screams came next. Not really screams, but heavy bellows passing between two males. Xander... and Wade. Blows descended upon them both like heavy sheets of rain. Renn's vision blurred, and she blacked out. The last thing she heard was, "You can beat me to shreds but she will never love you. She's my wife, and the mother of my child."

Renn sat up abruptly, her eyes scanning the room. They weren't in their apartment. There wasn't even a their. It was just her. Xander was gone. Xander was gone. Those three words that tore Renn from the inside out. She felt her heart exploding, bursting from her chest, taking it's place in another room, in another place. A place where Xander was. Her feet were moving before she fully was. She tripped, sliding against the wall for balance. Dim light filled the hallway, birds chirped their mid-morning songs. But nothing was right. Renn felt dizzy. Her world was spinning, and she was running down an endless hallway. Xander. Xander. Xander. Xander was gone. She had to get to him. Wade had him. Wade was killing him. Xander would do anything for her.

Renn collapsed. Sprawled out on her stomach in the middle of the hallway, she pressed the heel of her hands into her temples. What if Xander wasn't beaten? Wasn't taken? What if he'd left... because he was scared. What if he left? Renn broke into uncontrollable screams and cries. She sobbed until the carpet under her was drenched. The world was turning in unstoppable circles. The world was tilting off it's axis, tumbling through the galaxy. Lost, confused, and falling, falling until ground hit it hard.

Shuffled footsteps aroused Renn. She had to make it him. She had to find him. Xander. She heard his voice. He was being held back.

"Xander stop. Don't touch her." Renn lurched to her feet. It wasn't Wade. It was her father. He was keeping him away from her. Renn ran down the hallway, tears soaking her face. Xander! She screamed his name, over and over. Until they were in the same room. Renn's father stood between them. She shoved passed him with hardly any effort. Then she was in his arms. He was stroking her hair. She was crying into his shirt. Curling it up in her fists. Not really speaking, but mumbling his name over and over again.

The relief in her chest was almost as overwhelming at the pain that smothered it just a second ago. He was stroking her hair. He wasn't letting her go for a moment. Hugging her to him as tight as he could. Her father's hand landed on her shoulder. Soft but firm, just like she'd remembered it. She wanted to turn and hug him too. She wanted to hug everyone in the entire district. But then he said those God-awful words, that she might not ever forgive him for saying. "Xander. Go."

Renn whipped around on her father. "You! Y-you, you! No! Xander's not leaving! D-do you not understand?! Do you not see?! I-I love him. I need him!"[/b] Renn gripped Xander's hand. Not the gentle, normal way. she squeezed it so that his knuckles turned white. She had to get her anger out, and now was probably not the time to hit her father.

"Renn-" He tried to approach her carefully. Renn knocked his hand away as he reached to caress her face. No. She practically spat at him. She scrambled to Xander, her hands and body clinging to him anyway they could. He bent down and kissed her. His lips removing themselves from her too soon. They moved to her ear instead. He said to meet her outside. He said everything would be fine. And he would never leave her. He'd be waiting. He loved her.

Then he took her wrists in his hands. He moved her arms to her sides, and slowly stepped around her. Tears struck Renn again. The kind that no matter how reassured she was that Xander would be there the second she launched herself from her window (which she was already planning to do), they streaked her cheeks anyway. Renn's father put a hand on Xander's shoulder as he showed him out.

Renn could have left it at that. They could have run away together the minute her feet hit the ground. They'd find each other again and it would all be fine. She could forget about her dream and her parents and his parents and her adopted brothers and Maria and her adopted parents. She could forget everyone and have everything she ever wanted all wrapped up in Xander's arms. And all it would take was one jump out the window. Just to fall right into his arms and live there forever. But Renn had to go and screw it up.

[/color]"Dad. No! You can't take him away from me! Dad! He's my baby's father! Dad! I'm pregnant with his child! And if he's leaving then I am too."

Jaws dropped. Thunder boomed. And all hell was about to break loose. But Renn took that one second of pure distraction to bolt into Xander's arms, and feel her whole life beyond him collapse as she cried into his chest. [/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

The stars are burning I hear your voice in my mind
Can't you hear me calling
My heart is yearning
Like the ocean that's running dry
Catch me I'm falling

[/size][/center][/i]

[Anna Banana]

[bg=6C7070][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true][atrb=style,width: 500px;] My sleep was undisturbed and perfect just as I had believed it would be as soon as she was with me. I only woke up at the usual times to insure myself that Renn was still with me and sleeping soundly. Leaning over I would look into her face, so peaceful as the beams of moonlight from the window made her face appear to glow. I would gently brush aside a curl that fell across her forehead, and lean down to kiss her forehead. As long as I knew she was with me I felt connected to this world, without her an empty void sat where my heart usually was. So I would fall asleep, into a peaceful sleep that was undisturbed, my arm wrapped tenderly around her. This sleep would come to an end soon though, I should have known as I had before that nothing good lasts forever. I woke with a start, the sound of the bedroom door opening made my muscles grow ridged and tense. Carefully I moved my arm off of Renn and propped myself up to survey the room. What I saw made the color drain from my face, Renn's father stood in the doorway, a mixture of rage and disappointment clearly visible on his face. I felt as if my body had turned to stone, I couldn't move anywhere, all I could do was look upon her father's face. Slowly he stepped into the room and came to a stop at the edge of the bed looking down at his daughter nestled into my side. His hand brushed lightly against her cheek and as if by instinct I swatted his hand away from her. Quickly he looked up from her face and his eyes seemed to pierce my very soul. Barely controlling the anger in his voice he leaned into over Renn and whispered to me in a voice that made my blood freeze. "Xander, you will get our of this bed, away from my daughter, you will pack your things, and you will leave my house this instant. I will not have you in my house any longer, and you are never to see Renn again. If you ever, EVER, come back here I cannot guarantee your safety, now get up and get our." I couldn't move though, I felt frozen in the same position, and his words made my heart feel as if it dropped out of my chest. The pain and grief I felt at hearing his words tore me apart, and for the first time in I couldn't even remember when I felt a tear slip slowly down my cheek. Looking down at Renn's still peaceful face I wondered...would this be the last time I ever saw her, the mother of our child, I was going to lose her...forever. Slowly I rose from the bed as her father had commanded, and like a guard he stood in the corner of the room he watched my every movemen until I had collected my shirt and other belonging. Once I was finished I looked up at her father who gave me a stiff nod, and he took my arm leading me out of the room. Renn's mother stood in the hallway a look of sadness and guilt written across her features. So it had been her that had told her father, she had been the one to turn us in. Silently we walked down the hall and into the livingroom, and as soon as we were a safe distance from my room all hell broke lose. Renn's father barraged me with questions and spat out words that burned into me like venom. "Xander, I allowed you to stay at this house because I saw how much Renn admired and loved you, I put up with hearing that you had quit the Games at the request of my wife. I cannot tolerate this though, you come and you take Renn away from her room and sleep with her in yours, we gave you two separate rooms for a reason. You are a disgrace boy, a disgrace to everything, and you have shamed my family." What could I do but accept what he was saying, I would never tell him that it was Renn who came to my room, or how she was the mother of our child. So many secrets that I had believed would tear us apart, and here was the proof of it all, I would be losing Renn because of them. I would never be able to see our child grow up, our child would never know their father. All the dreams that Renn had about me leaving her were coming true, it wasn't as she had believed though, I was going to be forced out. Once more I felt a tear slide down my cheek as I pictured Renn's face. "Sir, I cannot deny your accusations, all I can ask is that you reconsider, I need Renn. She is my life, my heart, my soul, she is the only reason that I now exist in this world. If I lose her than it would be the death of me." He looked at me with those eyes of steel, but I saw a pained look flash across her mother's face when I said those words. Before she could speak though she was cut off by the angry voice of her father. "Than you had better leave and make it quick, you are never seeing Renn again, even if it is the death of you. I will not allow it." The sound of an object hitting the floor startled all three of us from the trance we had fallen into. Renn's cries and screams made what fragments of my heart that remained fall so pieces. I attempted to run down the hall towards her to hold her in my arms and let her know I was here for her. The strong amrs of her father held me back as he told me not to touch her, and stay away from her. At the sound of my name Renn rose unsteadily from the ground and ran blindly into my arms pushing past her father. Carefully I wrapped my arms around her, running my hand through her hair, as she mumbled my name over and over into my shirt. Our embrace was not to last though, the deep voice of her father, loud and authoritative ordered me to go one last time. Renn spun around and told her father everything that I had told her that I needed Renn for, but I knew that it was a lost cause. I needed to say my goodbyes to her privately, if I was to never see her again I needed her to understand how much I loved her. I whispered to her that I would meet her outside, that everything was alright, and that I would never leave her...but it was a lie. I could not stay with her, her father would come down hard on her if I saw her again. From this day forth we would split apart from eachother, we would never see eachother again...and our child would know nothing of it's father. She calmed down enough when I whispered to her so I could carefully remove her arms from around me. Her father's hand came down on my shoulder and for the last time I ran my hand over her face, caressing it. Turning slowly I allowed myself to be led to the door, this was how it all ended...accept the strain on Renn seemed to be to much pressure. With a cry she ran at me yelling that she could not lose me, she could not lose the father of her child, that she was pregnant with our baby. As soon as she reached me my arms closed around her like a cocoon, one hand around her, the other carefully placed over her stomach. Defiantly I looked around the room at the shocked face of her mother who had fallen down into a chair, and the enraged face of her father. I could never leave Renn, I had to be with her forever, our baby needed us. If I was leaving than I was taking Renn with me, the mother of our baby, the most beautiful woman in all of District 1.

[/color][/td][/tr][/table][/center]

[mcmarti99]

Renn Perrysworth

[/size][/font][/i]

Can you feel me when I think about you?
With every breath I take
Every minute, no matter what I do
The world is an empty place[/i][/center][/size]

Renn hugged Xander as tight as she could. She would never let him go. He insisted on keeping a hand on her stomach as she buried her face in her chest. But she didn't want his hand there, separating their hips, the steady beat of their bodies interrupted, so she moved it to her back and hugged him tighter. She was so stupid. This was not the way or the time for this. Could Renn have possibly picked a more terrible moment to break the news to her parents? She didn't think it could have been worse is someone planned it.

But she pushed that aside, for in that moment, she was Xander's and he was her's. They were each other's reason to live, breath, and walk the earth among those who hated upon them. Xander was Renn's gravity. As she'd proven earlier, without him, she spun out of control, and dropped through the galaxy until whatever was below that smacked her. Even a minute not spent touching him made her question why she was there. But with him, she had purpose, to be his rock, to be his gravity.

Renn's arms reluctantly loosened around Xander. Her whole body was shaking with fear. The fear of loosing him, the fear of upsetting her parents, the fear of rejection, the fear for her baby, all of it tormented Renn until she had no choice but to fall back into Xander again. She pulled him tight again, and he looked worriedly at her, noticing her involuntary shaking as she rattled his bones.

This wouldn't work, her father would never understand. He'd want Xander gone even more. He would never get it. Renn realized this all too late. All after she'd let it slip out. That secret that had been eating Xander alive, the one they talked about for hours in a shed. The secret of Renn's pregnancy, the existence of a little piece of Renn and a little piece of Xander that swarmed in Renn's stomach. She took Xander's face in her hands, his hand wiping tears from her face. Renn moved her lips to his ear.

"Xander, Run. Go. Get out of here, go back to the apartment, go back to the other side of the district. You need to leave. I'll take care of them, I'll runaway. I'll find you. Go."[/b] But Xander didn't move. He looked into her tear stained face, deep into her endless, watery pools of blue. He saw past her walls. Just like he always did. He looked straight into her heart, and he knew the minute he did that she didn't want him to go. And she didn't.

But she certainly didn't want him to stay. It was that moment that it finally sunk in on her father. "Renn. What in the hell were you thinking? Did you really think it was a good idea to get pregnant with District 1's best male trainee?! Did you ever stop to consider the fact that you're a teenage mother? Did all those endless talks about this, were they never enough to convince you?! Renn, why were you so stupid?" Renn jumped, clinging to Xander so that her knees wouldn't buckle. Her father had never called her stupid. She hadn't thought about being a teenage mother, or being viewed responsible for taking the best male tribute out of the games. Because none of it mattered. The rest of the world could go to hell. Renn and Xander were happy, and that was all that Renn even cared about.

Her eyes hardened, and she turned to her father. Xander wiped her tears once more before she turned around, his strong arms at Renn's hips, holding her up, keeping her from tumbling away. "I was thinking for myself. Just like you always told me to. I was thinking about what I wanted. Not what other people would think or what anyone else would say. And Xander was thinking exactly the same thing. We both knew what would happen, we both planned for it. We both wanted it."[/b] Renn's father let out one his strained laughs. An angry laugh. He brushed his hair from his face with his fingers, pulling the skin on his forehead tight. "Oh did you? You both wanted a baby. A little puking, peeing machine. You both thought you were ready for something like that? Is that what you're saying? You think you have it all figured out. Shit, Renn. Life doesn't work that way."

Renn's face changed. Now she was angry. She was about to throw something else at her father, spit words at him he'd never heard her say. Things he'd taught her to never say, things only grown ups could say, when her mom cut in. Renn? Your father's right. You don't know how to take care of a baby. You two aren't ready for something like this-" "Well it's too late Mom. The baby's here, and there's nothing I can take back."[/b] Renn interrupted. She turned to Xander, not facing her parents when she spoke again. Her voice softened. It was almost a whisper. But both her parents heard. "Nothing I ever want to take back."[/b] Renn's father bounded at them, ripping Xander's arms from Renn. He gripped his shirt in his fist as he slammed Xander into a nearby wall. Renn screamed, cumbling as she fell against the floor. She squeezed her hands into tight fists, blood puddling in her palms. "Who do you think you are? Coming in here and making yourself right at home when you knew Renn was pregnant! When you knew how infuriating this would be for us. Get out. Get out now." Renn's father screamed. He looked at Renn and released his grip on Xander's shirt. "And take them with you." He was referring to Renn and the baby.

Renn couldn't look her father in the eye. So this is what it felt like to be kicked out of the family. Xander'd faced it once, and so would Renn.[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

The stars are burning I hear your voice in my mind
Can't you hear me calling
My heart is yearning
Like the ocean that's running dry
Catch me I'm falling

[/size][/center][/i]

[Anna Banana]

[bg=6C7070][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true][atrb=style,width: 500px;] Shock had settled over the room, the very secret that Renn had insisted on keeping a secret had now been revealed. To make it worse she had revealed it a moment of panic and hysteria, this couldn't have been how she wanted to tell her parents that she was pregnant. She was supposed to tell them when they had smiles on their faces, it was supposed to be a time of celebration when the news was revealed. Instead a darkness seemed to settle over the room as both of her parents looked at us with disgust, disgust and anger. This was not what either of them had been expecting, this hadn't been what I was expecting either. There was no turning back now, I clung to Renn to protect her from the rage of her father who looked ready to attack her should the opportunity arise. She was so close to me, almost no space seperated the two of us as we stood there as the silence and dark atmosphere seemed to close in around us. If anything this had proven to me that neither of us could live without the other, and now more than ever we needed to be there for eachother. I needed to find out how to deal with this situation that we now found ourselves in, explain EVERYTHING to her parents. Renn had opened the door to this by accident, but I would be the one to close it by being as gentle as possible with her parents. I noticed Renn loosening her grip on me and trying to take a stand on her own, but her body began to shake and to me she seemed to crumble away. Falling back into me I held her even closer feeling shivers course through her whole body, fear, sadness, and not completely understanding what had happened. She was as fragile as a china doll right now, and I knew it would only be a matter of minutes before the bull, or her father, came charging through. Rubbing the tears away from her face with my thumbs I leaned into her trying to make sure that she was okay. I was startled when I heard her voice, quiet but calm telling me to run, that she would be fine and she would come and find me. She still didn't get it though, that I would never leave her here to take full responsibility for the baby, for everything. I had told her that I would never leave her for anything, if I ran away now I would be no better than Wade. This baby was OUR responsibility, and I would be here with her every step of the way with her. Her words were hollow anyways, she needed me with her right now, someone she knew she could lean on and trust when she needed it. She needed me now more than ever...in a time when her parents were about to turn on her...just as mine did. It was her father that broke the silence, his voice shaking with poorly concealed anger. He even went so far as to call her stupid, treat her like it had all been her choice, that we hadn't talked about it. I felt my fist clench and unclench as I resisted the urge to grab the collar of her father's shirt and lift him up and yell at him. For Renn though, only for Renn, I kept my anger in check and let her respond to his accusations. When I looked down at her face I saw that there was a false mask of calm she had put on, but underneath it, in her eyes I could see that her father's words had hit home. They had their desired affect, to tear her heart to pieces, but I would be here to pick them up and put them back together. I would not let her fall this day or any other day. Swiping once more at her tears I let her turn around and face her father, and her voice took on a defiant and angry tone as she addressed him. Just as I had to face my parents it was time for her to face hers. For better or worse we would become cut off from our families as a result of our love, of our baby. Her words sounded like a little child arguing with her father though. I could picture a younger Renn standing here in this room trying to argue a point with her father. Only at that time she would have shrunk away from him or hidden her face, at that time she didn't have me either. Her father let out a short laugh, an angry laugh, as he began his counter arguements to everything that she had told him. He told us that we didn't know what we were getting into, that we infact hadn't put much thought into having a child, that life wasn't the fantasy that we were living in. I watched as Renn's face twisted in anger and her mouth seemed to move to unspoken words, her body shook once more but this time I realized it was anger that was coursing through her body. Just when she was about to voice all of her hurt feelings and anger her mother cut into the conversation and sided with her father. She tried to tell us that we weren't ready for a baby, that we didn't know how to take care of a baby. Renn cut her off though, practically spitting our her words at them telling them that there was nothing she wanted to take back, that it was to late because she was already pregnant with our child. I think that was what really made her father break. To late I saw him charge at the two of us, and I felt my arms being ripped off of Renn and my back crashed into a wall. A stinging sensation ran up my back and my injured shoulder throbbed in pain as her father spoke in a quiet and level tone to me. It was this voice that made me feel so weak, and I was glad that it rose in pitch as he spoke till he was almost yelling at me. He told me to leave the house, that we were no longer welcome here, and his eyes looked over at Renn and I knew he meant her and the baby. I felt a pang of guilt and sorrow as I looked at her, the tone in her father's voice made it very clear that she was as good as dead to him. She would no longer be welcome in her home, no, this was no longer her home, she would no longer be welcome in HIS home. Angrily I slapped aside her father's hand just as she rose up from the floor a look of sadness and anger written plainly across her face. Quickly I walk over to her and help her steady herself on the floor, and than I wrap my arm around her waist before she does something she'll regret. Leaning down to her face I whisper in her ear the best advice I can give at the moment. "Renn, I'm going to take you outside, and I'll deal with this on my own. The baby, it can feel what you're feeling, and getting upset will just make them upset." Lifting her up and carried her, kicking and yelling to the door, and I placed her on the porch. She took an angry step forward but I closed the door before she could step in, and locked it behind me. I walked calmly into the livingroom infront of both her parents, and I look at both of them in turn. "You may feel that we didn't plan this through, or that with us still being teenagers that we aren't capable of raising a child. We put a lot of thought into this, into having a family, and it may interest you to know that Renn did have reservations about being the mother of our child. Eventually we both came to realize that a baby would be the one thing that would symbolize our love for eachother. It may interest you to know but even I didn't know about the baby until just last night. At Renn's request I kept it a secret from you because she was afraid this very thing would happen, that you would scorn her and ridicule her. I know now she had good reason to believe that, you're so caught up in your own stubborn ways you refuse to look at the happiness of your daughter. No, instead this is about you, the shame you think this will bring on your family, the scandal of your century right, Renn impregnated by Xander Thrash. District 1's top male toppled by a simple girl, oh how the proud fall. Well this isn't about you SIR, this is about us, and this is about our baby. Remember this though...our child will be your grandchild whether you like it or not." Turning around I walk back to the door, throw it open and walk back out into the open air of District 1. For better or worse Renn and I were alone now, it was up to us to raise the baby on our own. We couldn't rely on my family or hers to assist us in any way, we were...from this day forth...alone.

[/color][/td][/tr][/table][/center]

[mcmarti99]

Renn Perrysworth

[/size][/font][/i]

Can you feel me when I think about you?
With every breath I take
Every minute, no matter what I do
The world is an empty place[/i][/center][/size]

In another life, Renn was a warrior who always took things into her own hands. She never confided in girlfriends or her family. She just trained. She was just independent. Then, she'd met Xander, who was exactly the same as her. And she'd become dependent. Because she liked it that way. It was easier to sit back and let everything happen to someone else. She'd tended to his battle scars, and thanked him in countless ways for his gentlemanly service. She loved him, and now she held his baby. So standing outside her front porch, while Xander was inside taking care of things, she should have been relieved. Renn didn't think she could last in there much longer. But that warrior, that Career that still took Renn's form, made her feel more helpless than she ever had.

Renn pounded on the door, her fists seemingly silent, as she could still hear Xander's voice through the wood. He was yelling at her parents, with that accusatory tone in his voice. She couldn't let him fight all her battles for her anymore. It wasn't just a gentlemanly service, it was dangerous, and if he was so worried about the baby "feeling what she felt", then why didn't he finish up already and drag his sorry butt out here. Without Xander, Renn felt completely exposed, like walking into a full building with no clothes on. Tears slipped into her mouth as she yelled his name, the taste of salt lingering on her taste buds.

Renn heard the hard beat of Xander's footsteps, and jumped back from the door just in time to not be hit by it as he charged out. He started pacing, running his hands through his hair and pulling on his hairline until his forehead was stretched. He turned to Renn, approaching her with more anger than he'd probably intended. He asked in an almost demanding voice if she was okay.

"No I'm not okay! You just shoved me out of my own house, Xander! The baby can feel what I feel? Could you have not come up with a better excuse than that?! You know I hate it when you do that. You can't just cut me off from my problems! You can't fight them away, Xander. They're not yours to fight okay!"[/b]

Renn closed the distance between them, bringing a hand across Xander's face. "If you really care what the baby feels, then don't drag me out here against my will."[/b] She whispered in an angry whisper. There was so much blind rage and anger at every damned thing in the world coursing through Renn right now that she didn't have space for sympathy or thanks. Xander had fought another battle for her, and she hated it this time. Because in the process, he made her feel helpless. I'm a Career, too. She thought.

Being with Xander had totally ruined her physically. He still held his strong frame and broad shoulders, but Renn had slipped from her perfectly toned stomach and arms. Her legs remained strong, but only because she felt like she had to carry the weight of two people's consciences. It made Renn more mad. She'd always said that she wouldn't let her spirit leave her. She would never settle down and end up like her parents. With a little house and kids and neighborhood friends. Not following all the latest training news because she wanted to relive the glory days. Not because she had nothing to do. It was wrong to blame Xander for it, but Renn couldn't help it. It started with him.

Seeing the fury in Xander's eyes, Renn took a step back, her fists clenching. She couldn't fight him. She couldn't beat him like she used to. And it killed her.[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

The stars are burning I hear your voice in my mind
Can't you hear me calling
My heart is yearning
Like the ocean that's running dry
Catch me I'm falling

[/size][/center][/i]