You Can't Tell Me What to Do Anymore (Jack Lex)

[Jack Lexington]

I'm not sure why Faiths thanks me for being open about it. I guess she's not used to men taking her serious.
I can't help but grin when I feel the insecurity she has because of simply holding a few reigns. "There's nothing else you need to know. Don't worry, you can't do anything wrong plus your horse isn't easily spooked." I laugh because we all know that's a bunch of crap.
Against my precitions her horse actually is quite calm tonight and trots across the snow covered field while small flakes are dancing around her body. It's actually quite a pretty sight.
"Gorgeous." I comment on the picture in front of us and then look at her to see if she's doing okay.
"You don't need to look so anxious." My shoulder nudges against hers to lighten the mood a bit.

Together we travel across the field until we reach the end of their land and I have to get out to open the gate.
Outside the terrain is a little more uneven but still managable.

After maybe 20 minutes we've reached the top of a hill and stop to look down at the village lights in the distance and the snowcovered fields. The moon doesn't get through the clouds any more so we can't see it or the stars unless there is a small gap in the clouds.

Pulling the blanket higher around our shoulders I slide my arm behind her back and ask. "Are you cold?" I'm not really sure whether my action is appropriate because I've never had a female friend before. "Is this okay? I guess I wouldn't put my arm around my buddies." So I pull it back and smile a little nervous.
"So what have you decided on the healer? Are you going to see her?"
last time Faith didn't seem so thrilled about the idea of moving into town.
"Who knows. I might need it when I come back." I tease her a little.

[Cameo {RIP Charlie}]

A laugh couldn't help but escape Faith's lips hearing Jack's sarcasm about her horse being easily spoked. "Let's just hope Stormy doesn't surprise us with a visit." Faith plays along and jokes back which eases her tension a bit. At least it seemed as if the few rides Jack had, calmed the horse down quite a lot. When she simply halts at the gate Faith almost can't believe she was worried to begin with, of course bringing a tad of red to Faith's constantly blushing face.

"I think just having you around for a little really helped her." Faith complimented when Jack returned from opening the gate. Off to the top of the hill, they're occupied by beautiful scenery the entire time. "Certainly." Faith agrees to Jack's comment about how gorgeous the whole thing is.

Once at the very top, a stop brings them to a final picture of the quiet town with a few lights from each household like a star that fell to the ground. With no trees blocking the wind anymore, it was almost like Jack read her mind raising the blanket a little higher. Feeling Jack's arm around her shoulder brought chills, but the good kind of feeling his warmth and protection just like any time she could feel him close. As horrible as it was Faith didn't want him to move, even if they were only friends.

"You're probably right." Faith this time isn't to strong about her agreement, but wasn't interested in making a fool of herself because she wanted to be close to Jack. It's a sigh of relief when he decides to change the conversation.

"I really want to, it's just a big decision." Faith crinkles her nose a bit as she explains her reasoning. "Who's going to cook and clean? Trish?" She asked sarcastically with a chuckle. "Plus I want to be able to help your parents with Briar and Josh." That reasoning had to be understandable for Jack.

[Jack Lexington]

"I know." I agree with her on the decision being a big one. "But big people need big chances...and you are one of those, Faith. You're too precious to just be sitting around here and do tasks that your step mother should be doing." I squeeze her upper arm to encourage her. "Live a little, Faith. You're young."
A smile follows before I let my eyes travel over the scenery that lies before us. If it wasn't so cold it would be perfect. It's quiet out here when we're not talking. Only the horse neighs every now and then to interrupt the stranger silence.
For a while we just sit and I can't help but wonder whether she will actually go into town. I also wonder what kind of guy her father will be hooking her up with while I'm gone just to get her out of my grasp.
Scooting a little deeper I even out the height difference so we can snuggle under the blanket together.
I love being so close to her but I don't want to take her hand because I really should mess with her or my own feelings.
"I'll miss you. I hope you know that. I'll miss our talks and being so close to you. It'll be hard."
Since when have I become such a softy? I wonder for a moment but decide to keep up the softness as long as we're here. I can play tough again when we're out behind the fence.

"So, what do you want me to bring you from d11?" I turn my head to look into her pale frozen face with the cute red button nose and can't help but smile.

[Cameo {RIP Charlie}]

It was really sweet hearing Jack's encouraging words for Faith to strive for what she wants, and of course being the healer of her home town was silly enough her perfect dream. Well along with finding someone, and going through the horrible decision of bearing children together. But living the same routine her entire life, change seemed scary and untouchable though that was no way to live. "I wish we would of had time to go see her together." Faith sighs still not content with Jack's departure, at least he was caring enough to spend time with her with only a few days left.

Even with only silence filling the beautiful night Faith just liked to be in Jack's presents, his energy always filling the room and bringing a smile to the red head's face even in the worst of times. Of course feeling his comforting arm around her shoulders once again was much more enjoyable with the warmth and security. Faith couldn't help but to lean her head against one of Jack's own shoulders and take in the feeling while she still had it.

"I'll miss you a lot to." Faith agrees blushing a bit at Jack's honesty, a smile spreading across her face because she was never quite certain how Jack felt. "You make me a better person." She admits her face being over-taken with pinkness, hopefully Jack's eyes were glued to the breathtaking sight laying in front of them.

What even laid within the other Districts? Faith was never quite sure because she was the type of listen and keep her head down unlike a lot of other people. It was crops, and a very large population was the only thing she was certain of. Who knows if it's even true. "They have crops like us?" Faith asked though she knew it was quite a bit difference because District Ten held farms that were usually family owned.

"They don't have portable phones do they?" Faith asked knowing that technology was a rarity as the number of the districts went up, so it was a stupid question. "That's only the capitol." She corrects herself with a sigh, unsure if she should be bringing up her worries about his trip again. "I'd be a lot happier if I could know you're safe." Faith was almost starting to sound like a girlfriend, and she had to stop herself. "Sorry, I know you'll be fine."

"What type of things do they have in District 11?" Faith asked curiously to get off the topic of how paranoid she is over the entire thing. It wasn't her place she felt, and didn't want to over-step her boundaries.

((OOC: Sorry I've been dealing with RL drama -.- But it's all dimming down plus I have my first college spring break so I have a lot more time on my hands!))

[Jack Lexington]

It's great to be so close to Faith and have nobody else nearby who can judge us but ourselves. yet I feel like her dad is watching us when she leans her head on my shoulder. "Watch it..this might get you in trouble." I joke but run my hand over her cheek to let her know I'm okay with it.

Her confessions confirm my suspicions. Faith still like me a lot, probably more than is good for her. But I don't have the heart to tell her she shouldn't.
Her statement about making her a better person surprises me. "Who? Me?"
I wrinkle my brow. "How is that?" I just can't see how I would make her, who is already so kind, better.
"That's all you, my dear."

Our conversation changes to district 11 and I nodd. "Lots of crops but much larger fields than her. All the way to the horizon." I draw a half circle in front of us.

"Portable...what?" i laugh out loud. "No. Stop phantasizing. Portable cups of water is all they have. people there are even poorer than here. You sometimes see them sleeping in the streets in the summer. The kids are skinny as hell and have big bellies. Not enough protein. Lot's of crime there because people have so little and the peace keapers don't care so much about that district, which is nice for me." I bite my lip because I'm not sure how much I've actually told Faith about my history with the pks.

For a second I avert my gaze and hope she won't dig. I already know I'd tell her everything if she did.

OOC: No problem. Life here was a little rough as well. But it's getting smoother. Enjoy your break.

[Cameo {RIP Charlie}]

"I don't care." Faith sighs at Jack's warning that she could get into trouble for simply leaning her head on his shoulder. It was stupid and true and Faith hated that, she should have the right to choose her own friends and make her own mistake of falling for one that didn't feel the same way back.

Of course Jack isn't going to see the progress from how Faith was before they met, but she knew it. How frail and timid she was before, her inability to socialize or even stand up for herself. Now, though still in need of much more work, Faith was growing a voice and a bit of confidence, well despite her constant make-up as it seemed that confidence may never go up. "It's true." Was Faith's only protest back, she wasn't going to take any chances of starting a stupid argument when Jack was so close to departure.

It was a given that the higher the district the more into poverty they clearly are in, but Faith wasn't hoping for so much. You would think a district that contributes so much food would have a little more ease in their life, but it sounds worse then what Faith predicted. The saddest part would have to be the children born into it, not taken care of while other's are spoiled brats. "That's horrible." Faith whispered too in shock to shift her feelings into anger over the situation, plus she knew that anger did no good for these situations.

"Why? That sounds more dangerous." Faith voiced her concerns over the peacekeepers not caring over the high rate of crime. It was a rarity to find a kind peacekeeper, but at least they were meant to be there for citizen's safety, though the majority walked the other way at the sight of them. With the disrespect they had towards women, Faith was one to walk the opposite way just as Jack was.

"Is it because of the wound?" Faith asked peering down, remembering the short story of of Jack's encounter with a peacekeeper and a bullet that numbed his leg. Though she was a bit worried she might of mixed the stories up. Only two came to her one involving a bullet and peacekeeper, the other violent Careers looking for fun. "You can tell me." Faith reassured without a budge of her head from the most cozy spot.

[Jack Lexington]

As to be expected Faith is asking questions about my aversion against peace keepers. Who can blame her. We've known each other for about 7 months now and she doesn't know much about the dark holes in my history.
"I know I can." I whisper a little uneasy but have already made up my mind to let her in this time and not leave her in the dark.
Softly I run my hand over her head on my shoulder and admit.
"I have a long bad history with peace keepers..the one who shot me is probably the most painful one but the reason I'm afraid of them is ...er.." I'm suddenly at a loss of words because I feel so embarassed. Here I am talking to this wonderful girl, who is as clean and innocent as a flower while I'm anything but that. Yet she wants to know the truth and she deserves it, too.
So I take a deep breath and look at her with pleading eyes to somehow make this easier on me while I continue. "It's because I've been locked up in the detention center before. They kept me down in that dark, stinking hole for ...I think a month." For a moment I have to stop to not tell her all the cruel details of the detention center and what they do to prisoners there.
"They let me go after a month...a released criminal and you know what's the worst part about it? They haven't even caught me for the worst thing I've done. I doubt they'd let me out ever again."
Now I pause and let the words sink in.
"That's why I fear the peace keepers. I never know when they will discover my secret."

[Cameo {RIP Charlie}]

A smile creeped to Faith's face hearing that Jack knew he could tell her anything. It was true that she was a very trustworthy person, but it was more then trust because her ability to be trusted was shown a while ago. Now it was more of a need or desire to share the bloody details. The idea of Jack being scared of something freaked Faith out a bit, because what was so scary that even Jack feared it? It was a worrying thought that Jack couldn't defeat anything and everything.

The idea of being stuck in a cold, pitch-black cell for any length of time could certainly bring Faith to the edge of her seat. Unable to help it Faith wrapped a comforting arm across Jack's chest, showing him the support she wished she could of given him during that horrible time. "I'm sorry." Faith said in almost a whisper. It had to of been the scene Jack started at his Wife's reaping, almost certain Faith had no intentions of asking why and bringing up more horrible details that could possibly ruin their night.

It was impossible to think that Jack was capable of something even worse, and just the word secret brought a chill down Faith's back. Did she know what it was, did he already share it with her? No of course Faith couldn't forget something so important. "Secret?" Faith asked hoping she heard wrong. "Jack what secret?" She questions with a gulp, her head and the rest of her body pealing from the warm comforting spot close to Jack. The last thing Faith wanted was more reasons to be worrying about Jack during his trip.

[Jack Lexington]

For a moment I hesitate because this information could easily cost me my head in the wrong hands or ears in this case. Faith would never abuse it, I'm sure. She's too much of a decent person.
Letting my eyes scan the area around us once more I make sure nobody is listening in.
Then I start the story that sounds so far fetched.
"I told you I crossed over into the woods and got attacked by a few careers. The girl I tried to save was from district 6. She took me back there because I was bleeding heavily. It was only a matter of time. A doctor there saw me and brought me to his friend, who treated me in exchange for a favour. I needed to take a letter back to revolutionaries in district 10. It was critical information about something against the capitol. I almost got caught in their house."
The shock in her face is evident. What I did would be enough to instantly execute me. Anybody involved in any way in some sort of uprising was doomed.
So I gasp at the fear in her eyes and studder. "I had to. I had no choice. I didn't want to loose my leg."

[Cameo {RIP Charlie}]

It was a bit difficult for Faith to wrap her brain around Jack's words. It had to be impossible because the idea of Jack getting into such a situation seemed unrealistic. Now a committed Father, and before a madly in-love husband it couldn't of been true. But it was the need for medicine for his Father as it finally hit Faith of the reason, hopefully that was it because she knew Jack had explained to her before. To add on top of that it was talk of a revolution, something forbidden and painful for Faith's ears and worried heart to hear.

For a second Faith was speechless, until hearing Jack's fear and excuse from her silence. "So nothing happened?" Faith asked in a whisper going back to leaning on Jack's arm. Before being so against such a thing in order to stay on the safe side, it was nearly absurd for Faith to disagree with anything from Jack's lips.

((OOC: Sorry it's so short, i'll make up for it in the next one))

[Jack Lexington]

I can see the look in her eye. It's different than usual, not the compassion and empathy she usually shows but a bewildered look. If I interpret it right she's taken aback by what I just told her about myself. Yet I'm glad the truth is out because Faith is my best friend right now and it was hard to keep that secret for over 6 months. She's falling for me, I can tell, and even if I can't let that happen I still need her to know the real me. As bad as I feel right now about myself. But why do I feel bad. I don't like the capitol and would love to see somebody run them down.

She gets over her first inhibition and asks whether anything happened.
"Not yet, no. But I'm always looking over my shoulder."

She leans back on me which gives me the impression she's okay with what she heard but deep down I know that I started a process in her. She'll do some thinking.
So I whisper. "Now it's out. I hope you'll still like me. I know you'll mull it over or come to some sort of conclusion. You have to know who I really am though."

With my arm around her I sit and wait for her to say something even though I know that whatever will come out will only reflect her momentary feelings, which might change drastically.
My hand gently placed on the side of her face I caress her and say. "You'll figure out whether you still want to be my friend, I'm sure, but promise me to tell nobody. My life would be on the line."

[Cameo {RIP Charlie}]

There was no one more then Faith wanting the idea of a better life outside of the Panem, well actually everyone hoped for the same thing. Possibly having children and not having to fear for their future, not being under someone's control and power. But it was ridiculous how dangerous it is for the chance of a change, everyone was always reminded of the outcome of District 13 after their rebels got out of control. So of course Faith desired a new life, but it wasn't worth risking everyone else's lives.

"Yeah me to." Faith let out a sigh, sure it was silly but it was more safe to know ahead of time and attempt to spot the fishy personalities to keep clear of. Did that make Faith weak? Having the plan to gather her family and quietly escape while chaos is erupting.That sort of thinking hadn't crossed Faith's brain for quite a few years, especially with her lack of knowledge of what lays past the fence.

"I like who you really are." Faith responded with a small smile because the cold was preventing so much with it's dryness. Certainly Faith's only conclusion was whether something was actually going to happen and what Jack's plan could possibly be.

Eyes growing big, Faith was quite shocked that such two thoughts would ever cross Jack's mind. It was the two things that were certain, and Faith wrapped it up to being a rhetorical question she was still going to answer. "Are there any other secrets that could possibly be horrible and crazy enough for me to not to want to be your friend?" Faith asked with a silly grin and truly hoped that the answer was no, though she doubted anything Jack did didn't have a perfectly reasonable explanation. "And even if there is, do you really think I would tell?" Faith reassured over extending the I.

"Make sure to make it back before anything happens." Faith gulped at the idea of something happening while Jack was away. Finding shelter in the vast woods while hiding from the capitol would nearly make it impossible for the two best friends to ever reunite. "What would you do if something like that happened?" Faith asked in a very low voice because she knew of the dangerous from this type of conversation. But if anything like that truly did happen Faith hoped to make similar plans to Jack's, possibly not lose him and help with his children. Faith didn't want to think of herself as being pushy about it, because she really didn't want to take the chance of the only one that understands her slipping away.

[Jack Lexington]

A rock drops of my heart when she admits that she likes who I am. "I guess you like imperfections." I give her a crooked smile since in my book 'imperfections' is a total understatement for a guy who's mentally and physically so desolate, has two little children to take care off, that demand every free second of his life and on top of that being on the bad side of the law.
"I'm really glad about that. Not many girls would think that way." My second arm wraps around her as well to hug her for a moment to show how much this means to me. "You're the most open, warm hearted person I know, Faith. I really like you." I wish I could tell her more though.

She asks me about other secrets and actually makes me laugh. "No, aren't the ones I have enough?"
When she asks whether I think she would tell I shake my head. "Not knowingly anyway. Just be careful not to slip with good friends or anybody who claims they are my friends. I have none. Just you. My only other close friend is the dc as well. He's an avox...I guess there's another secret. I befriended an avox and he's a great guy. I would do anything for him..."

I shake the worries and take a deep breath while I intertwine her finger with mine. "Don't worry. I think if they haven't caught up to me now they won't. That was almost two years ago. But if they do figure it out and come for me I'll try to hide beyond the fence. There are lots of caves out there where you can hide from the hovercrafts. I would not return for my family's safety sake."

Gently I brush a strand of red hair from her face. "That's not going to happen."
I cast a quick glance at the sky and then at her. "I have about 30 minutes before I need to get back. What else do you want to do?"

[Cameo {RIP Charlie}]

With a simple shrug Faith decided to make the best out of Jack's words instead of trying to convince him otherwise. "Perfect is to boring." Faith states with a small grin to show the truth behind her words. If Jack was imperfect then perfect would be someone like Thomas, at least in Faith's mind.

Though reassuring for once Faith didn't believe something that escaped Jack's lips, no other girls would think the same way. Out of all the young men in this district it didn't seem any came near to Jack with his looks and kind heart. It toke a lot but Faith some how managed to bite her tongue and not comment about how many girls were probably crushing on Jack; though a small chuckle and her facial expression didn't hide it.

"Thanks." Faith said with a tiny fake smile because now she couldn't stop thinking of the high chances of Jack finding someone else. There had to be girls out there that would have Jack's heart in a minute, beautiful and smart; and that toke over the fact that Jack gave her a compliment.

At least the air was lightened a bit with Jack's humor. "Plenty." Faith agreed to enough secrets with a laugh. It was nice to know at least Jack was in the same boat Faith was. "I don't have any good friends either, you don't have any reason to worry." She told finally growing out of her thoughts to remember that Jack really did trust her. "I think you told me about him." Faith recalled that being the very first secret shared between them. It had been quite a while and that brought a genuine smile to Faith's pale, cold face.

Distraction was key to Faith and being worried over Jack's exiting plan was perfect thing to get away from the idea of him finding someone. "Would you take Josh and Briar?" Faith curiosity toke over; how long would his parents age and be able to care the twins? Would they be willing and happy for her help? Or maybe Jack figured a plan to raise them in the woods. "Try to let me know if that ever happens?" Faith asked though she figured it wouldn't be possible or smart.

It was a sigh of relief to hear Jack's reassuring words that it wasn't going to happen and finally Faith leaned her head back to Jack's shoulder. "I like it right here." Faith answered to any last events being needed. Even if only as friends it was always comforting, warm, and protective under Jack's arm. The older concern reproached and Faith finally had to share it. "Would we still be able to be good friends if you found someone?" Faith asked almost holding her breathe as she stared out at the town because she couldn't bring herself around to looking at Jack. It was a scary question, but she had to know.


((OOC: Sorry it's been late a lot lately, but I will always eventually respond! lol))

[Jack Lexington]

"I wouldn't take the kids. I'd get as far away from them as possible to keep them safe."
My hand gently caresses her back to comfort her. "Stop worrying so much, it's no good for you."
I feel her snuggle into me which makes a warm, nice feeling was over me. Having her close gives me so much security and a sense of belonging. Yet it makes me wonder whether I'm allowed to feel this way? Or am I putting shame on my late wife? For now I brush the thought off and enjoy it while it lasts because soon enough there will be noone to cuddle. My plan is to do some thinking on my ride.

When Faith asks me about finding someone I can only shake my head and mildly scold her. "Don't you understand, Faith? I won't find anybody. I'm not allowing myself. Not with everything that happened. If I wanted to be with someone I would have already found her." My eyes are fixed on her but I'm not entirely sure that she knows who I'm referring to so I add. "You."