radioactive hearts // Will

[kendall]

ANGEL VEGARA

Sometimes I like to think I wasn't crying when I was born. When my cousins were born they made a horrible wailing noise that was just plain annoying. I thought that since I had such a beautiful voice, or so they said, that I the first sound I made in the world was a sweet harmony. I used to tell anyone who would listen it was so until I got to about age 10 and people started calling me out. People besides my brother. 

Every baby cried.

That's how crying is viewed. Only babies cried when they were upset or wanted something. And if you weren't a baby but still cried it was some sort of demeaning thing to do. How dare you cry? Stand up and be a man. A crying is just a baby in a man's body. I used to think that. Only the weak cried. But you need to be strong enough to admit you are sad and need help.

I always cried when I was younger. I would run to mother and father but soon that stopped. I wouldn't dare let a tear run down my face.  f I was cut by a training knife, I would push back the burning tears and fight harder. But now, I was smarter then that. I cried for the first time in years when I finally admitted I was strong enough to admit I wasn't strong enough to have no emotions. And once one tear rolled down my cheek it was a waterfall. All my failure, success, memories and achievements poorer down the crane of my neck onto my shirt.

I would cry now. It was like Ip turned all my emotions and fears of never being loved on and I wanted to share everything with him. As his body was on mine I felt shielded. I felt him hot breath on me and I smiled lightly kissing him. 

"Somehow, this reminds me for such a bittersweet tragedy we read in class." 

"It's too perfect to be real." 

table by Zoe

[Will]

IAPITUS AURA

"...sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
- Marilyn Monroe

This is so wonderful, and I find that funny. How can just one person be so meaningful? How can just one person make me so happy and love life and want to never leave their side? How can one person be such a large part of who I am, but no part of me at all. I remember hearing someone ask, "Why do we fall in love so easy?" I'm pretty sure it was a song lyric, but it stuck with me. Why do we fall in love so easily? I don't know. But we don't just possess love for people, we possess it for everything. But people are our favorite things to love. They are my favorite thing to love. Angel is my favorite thing to love. I don't think I could love her any more. And that's weird. For only knowing a person for about a week, I'm already desperately in love with them. This is a sign. A sign that she is the one. People don't fall like this, not so fast, not so hard. Not unless it means something. And this does.

I know that Angel and I will have to part. Not our love, or our thoughts of one another. But our physical bodies will have to leave one another's sides. I can't bear that. I need to give her a part of me that will always stay with her. One that she and I will both cherish and never let go. One that must be done in secret. I look into her eyes, which almost ask the question for themselves. I know she knows what I mean. I do not know, if she is ready for this. Two first times, at least I assume. I am told that this is what lovers do. Told. I do not know if they must do this, or if they always do. But is told in all stories and movies and spoken of so commonly by the peers around us. I know I must do this with Angel. It's almost as if it means something much greater than what it is. And it does. It will mean something so much more.

"Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide"
- Imagine Dragons, Demons.

TEMPLATE BY ZOË

[kendall]

ANGEL VEGARA

[ ok where is this going ]
Mother always told me once you found him you wouldn't see any other man besides him. I thought she was just being sappy but now I realize its true. It's hard to accept that maybe I am wanted. Maybe someone does want to be with me. And I love proving my brother wrong on this one. I love him, but Ip is worth his anger.

Everything is happening so fast. It's been nearly weeks since we met and I am in love with the fact for being in love. Someone would warn me to not to act in haste but here I am, doing the exact opposite. The sand brushing on my leg and the water fills my ear. 

What a sweet year dangerous place we are both in. 

table by Zoe

[Will]

IAPITUS AURA

"...sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
- Marilyn Monroe

It's happening. Is the only thought that goes through my head.

~A Week or Two Later~

I wake up. Golden sunrays drift through my window as I lay in bed, the grogginess of waking up still very prominent. I lay there, stomach down, for about another five minutes before I push myself up and rub my eyes. I seem to go into a sort of autopilot, as I do every morning, and pull on my clothes, eat breakfast, and brush my teeth. I never remember what I did after I wake up. It seems as if my brain is still warming up, so that when I exit the front door it is ready for whatever it encounters. It's funny how the brain works. It's so intricate and complicated. It controls everything and perfectly. The only thing is:

It could never of prepared me for the news that awaited me once I left the house.

"Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide"
- Imagine Dragons, Demons.

TEMPLATE BY ZOË

[kendall]

ANGEL VEGARA

[ fyi it takes at least a week or two for a women to find out she is pregnant js ]

The sun wakes me up. My satin sheets cover my body and I yawn. The sun has finally returned to us and it's starting to feel like summer. Summer was my favorite time of the year. It was so warm and the frigid wind is no longer here. Exactly how I like it. I don't mind waking up early in the morning if the sun wakes me up.

I haven't been feeling well lately. Dizzy and all that. I tell my brother it's just headaches but he doesn't believe me. Why can't he just believe me? He never does and he is constantly on my back about my boyfriend. He needs to get over it. It's no secret any more considering we can't keep away from each other. 

I knew him for a month but I feel like we have met so long ago and now we are finally together. Jumping out of bed, I clean up and put on my spring sun dress and gallop past my brother who was cooking breakfast. Slamming the screen door I walk towards the beach were I meet it. I sit down on the park bench where we ran into each other and talk a book out of my bag. 

table by Zoe

[Will]

IAPITUS AURA

"...sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
- Marilyn Monroe

[OOC - Did you see I switched the timing? xD]

I walk down the streets of the district. Everything seems nicer now. Like everyone's smiling, the air's warmer and gentler, the sea is bluer and the sand is softer. I think it's because of Angel. My love for her is still as strong as ever, maybe even more so now that we finally started dating. We've barely spent a moment apart. And every moment with her has been a happy one. She makes everything better!

Speaking of Angel, I was on my way to meet her now. At the park bench where I first met her. The park bench where it all started. The spark of interest. The park bench where we came up with our first witty lines. The park bench where her book ended up in the water fountain and I ended up leading her to my secret cove. This all goes through my head as I see her sitting there. Her back is to me and she's reading a book. Her gorgeous blonde hair cascades down her back and she looks just as divine as she always does. She truly is an Angel.

She's my Angel.

"Angel!" I call out as I quicken my pace. Every inch of me wants to be with her, even more so than when we first felt the romance kindle. Magic.

"Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide"
- Imagine Dragons, Demons.

TEMPLATE BY ZOË

[kendall]

ANGEL VEGARA

Once, my mother told me that once you find the person you are meant to be with you will always feel happy inside. I kept that lie in my mind for years trying to shut out their constant fighting. It was the only thing that kept me believing love actually existed. Maybe Gabriel had given up, I knew he did. He never said it but the way he looked at the girls he used to his advantage said he couldn't be saved. His cold eyes stared right through them as though he never really cared. I started to believe that maybe he was right. Love wasn't a thing, just something weak people used as an excuse to get too close to people.

I saw Ip as he waved at me. My chest started to sting and I forced a smile I couldn't have second thoughts about this. I was in love because I know what it felt like to be carried in his arms. "How are you?" I choke out. My skin feels hot. My mind raced with all my mistakes and regrets and feelings. I couldn't love him It would go against everything I have ever believed in.

table by Zoe

{ i put a twist in it }

[Will]

IAPITUS AURA

"...sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
- Marilyn Monroe

I stand there waiting on the beach for Angel. We'd agreed to meet here earlier. As I stand alone on the beach I look out and around, just thinking. Thinking about how perfect my life is at this very moment. I have a wonderful girlfriend, a school, I was not reaped for the Hunger Games, parents, siblings, and love. My life is just so full of love, and isn't that what everyone wants? To be totally and utterly wrapped in love? Because it's the best feeling when you are loved. You feel invincible and protected, but also so vulnerable. It's really the best feeling in the world.

I turn again to search for Angel and I see her off in the distance. I don't know if she's spotted me yet, so I wave to get her attention. She comes over to me and I wrap my arms around her, and she asks, "How are you?"

I pull back enough to see her face and I break into a large smile. "Great! Yourself?"

"Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide"
- Imagine Dragons, Demons.

TEMPLATE BY ZOË

OC: OOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't have any muse, so I just took a break from the site and then that break went on WAY too long! I'm so sorry about that! I hope this is somewhat decent!

[kendall]

ANGEL VEGARA

I smile, the nervousness in my voice stops me from answering. I look at him, my eyes filling up with tears. "Ip." I say, my voice becoming serious, my eyes looking straight t his. OH how his eyes shined when i looked at im. It made me feel whole, like someone did want to see me. "I have been sick, for weeks and something has happened. I pause and grab his hand. "I think I am pregnant." My voice quakes and I smile but it breaks into sobs. Grabbing his chest I cry into his sleeve.. "My brother is going to kill us and I am so scared" I ause and loo up into his eyes. "I don't think I can be a mother."

table by Zoe

[Will]

IAPITUS AURA

"...sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
- Marilyn Monroe

"I don't think I can be a mother."
That sentence hits me harder than her thinking she's pregnant. I just freeze. She's pregnant. Maybe. Oh my God. What is going to happen to us?
Her brother is the least of my worries. First I'll have to deal with my parents, then hers, and then her brother. Am I happy? Am I scared? Am I angry? What am I? I've never felt this emotion before.
I look down at her, sobbing into my chest and suddenly I forget about my emotions and my shock and I hug her tightly, rest my head on hers and whisper,
"Everything will work out. Don't worry."
How can I say that? I don't know that? I'm not ready for a baby! I don't know the first thing about raising a baby! What if I get picked for the Hunger Games?! What if she gets picked for the Hunger Games?! This is all too much. I can't handle this.
But then something sparks inside of me, under this mountain of fear, I feel pride and happiness.
I'm gonna be a father.
Maybe.
"Are you sure?" I ask.

"Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide"
- Imagine Dragons, Demons.

TEMPLATE BY ZOË