Animosity (Marree)
Feb 14, 2014 16:10:49 GMT -5
Post by * on Feb 14, 2014 16:10:49 GMT -5
"I just figured winning was as important to you as it is to me." He's right. Before the pregame started, I had nothing to lose and all I wanted was to win. I had no one beside me to push me to win other than my own father and brother. They were the ones that I had fought for. Not until I had met him. Then I learned more and more about him, little by little. When I learned that I'd been matched up with Kayghna, I couldn' t have been more anxious to beat her for Matthew. When I lost, I felt nothing but shamed for it. Not only did I let MAtthew down, but in that one fight, I let down every single person I had by my side. Yet, I allowed Gala and Matthew to comfort me. Second fight, I still lost. Third strike was with Mark. I have more to prove to myself than ever and I won't let each of my losses be in vain. I still need to train harder. I'm not quitting. No. I can't. With or without Matthew by my side, I will have only myself to rely on. I just wish he felt the same. That it's okay to have someone there to talk to after something like losing a fight. It isn't easy.
"It might have been important before the fight... is it really still that important to win? Would you have rather perished at the end? It would have been nice to see him go down, but, if you had won I wouldn't have treated you any different."
"What happened in the hospital... " It seemed like I was trying to tell a story about what went on. One side of the conversation and now I'm hearing the other side of the story. The one I"m trying to understand. The one that I'm wanting to disagree with him on. Why does he feel that his fight was of any more significance than the three I went through? What I went through because each of them concerned him! I sigh.
"I don't understand... okay. None of my fights had significance? I think I understand why you think that because you don't know what was going on in my head each and every time I fought those three people. They were all about you! I've fought for you each time. Kayghna. Gala. Mark." I swallow the lump in my throat and cough, feeling the pressure in my head beat against my skull. I don't want to do this. I don't want to argue with him. If only he knew what I went through from each of my competitors internally instead of externally he would understand me better, but I won't. I'm too tired for this. Maybe it would have been better if he'd never came today. If he'd waited till I felt better to try to show him how wrong he really is with me.
Then goes the part that I was dreading. He answered what he thought when it came to Jeran's suggestion about who I need to be with. Matthew seems to confirm it. Even he thinks I deserve better than the one that I WANT. I never wanted a perfect boyfriend and I guess this is what I get to deal with even though I wouldn't change it for the world.
"I thought I had already told you what I wanted, but whatever I think, you'll never listen. Not until you're ready to really hear me." Am I closing this off? That's when I hear the sound of the engine and both of us are thinking the same thing, I can imagine because Matthew is suddenly getting up to leave cause I can imagine that he's not going to want to meet up with my dad right now. I hope he's able to evade him, but no sooner did he start walking away and wishing me well, does the key turn and the next moment, my father appears in the door.
I watch with anticipation seeing him fiddle with the key from the keyhole and once the key is in his hand, he looks immediately, his eyes fixed upon Matthew.
"What are you doing here?" He asks in a very accusing voice. The way he stares at Matthew has me wishing that I had just told him to leave and come back on a later day. "What business do you have here, boy? Havn't you caused enough trouble with Kyanite?"
"Dad, what are you doing home so early?" I ask, fearfully wondering if Jeran had called him or not, but with a simple shake of his head, he passes me off. "Dad?"
"Go to bed, Kyanite. You're sick, remember? Or are you that eager to start training back?" I get up from the couch and pull the blanket closer to my body as I take a few steps toward him. He takes his jacket off and puts it on the coat rack, and rubbing the bridge of his nose.
"I was talking to Matthew, that's all. He's leaving though." I state and pass my father up to stand beside Matthew. I nodd toward the door and stand in between him and my father and wait for him to leave.
"Wait." My father's voice booms out as he steps near to me, and as I glance up to him, I see the malice in his eyes and the thin lines of his lips.
"Dad. He's leaving. Just..."
"From what I was told, you harassed my son? Am I right?" That's when I hear his voice turn to a deeper tone and he steps closer to Matthew, his voice going to just a little louder than a whisper. "You are never to come here again, you hear me boy? You are not welcomed in his household. Now, as for my daughter, I've seen what you've done. You've hurt her. I want you out and I don't EVER want to see you around her again."
That's when he turns to me, to enfore upon me his ruling on the matter. His eyes dart right to me. My blood turns cold and I shake my head, pleading with him through my thoughts that I can't seem to make come out into a verbal defense. Please, don't do this dad. You've no clue what's going on.
"Do not let me catch you around him. Do I make myself clear?" I stand there staring at him, my mouth clinched tightly.
(1081)
"It might have been important before the fight... is it really still that important to win? Would you have rather perished at the end? It would have been nice to see him go down, but, if you had won I wouldn't have treated you any different."
"What happened in the hospital... " It seemed like I was trying to tell a story about what went on. One side of the conversation and now I'm hearing the other side of the story. The one I"m trying to understand. The one that I'm wanting to disagree with him on. Why does he feel that his fight was of any more significance than the three I went through? What I went through because each of them concerned him! I sigh.
"I don't understand... okay. None of my fights had significance? I think I understand why you think that because you don't know what was going on in my head each and every time I fought those three people. They were all about you! I've fought for you each time. Kayghna. Gala. Mark." I swallow the lump in my throat and cough, feeling the pressure in my head beat against my skull. I don't want to do this. I don't want to argue with him. If only he knew what I went through from each of my competitors internally instead of externally he would understand me better, but I won't. I'm too tired for this. Maybe it would have been better if he'd never came today. If he'd waited till I felt better to try to show him how wrong he really is with me.
Then goes the part that I was dreading. He answered what he thought when it came to Jeran's suggestion about who I need to be with. Matthew seems to confirm it. Even he thinks I deserve better than the one that I WANT. I never wanted a perfect boyfriend and I guess this is what I get to deal with even though I wouldn't change it for the world.
"I thought I had already told you what I wanted, but whatever I think, you'll never listen. Not until you're ready to really hear me." Am I closing this off? That's when I hear the sound of the engine and both of us are thinking the same thing, I can imagine because Matthew is suddenly getting up to leave cause I can imagine that he's not going to want to meet up with my dad right now. I hope he's able to evade him, but no sooner did he start walking away and wishing me well, does the key turn and the next moment, my father appears in the door.
I watch with anticipation seeing him fiddle with the key from the keyhole and once the key is in his hand, he looks immediately, his eyes fixed upon Matthew.
"What are you doing here?" He asks in a very accusing voice. The way he stares at Matthew has me wishing that I had just told him to leave and come back on a later day. "What business do you have here, boy? Havn't you caused enough trouble with Kyanite?"
"Dad, what are you doing home so early?" I ask, fearfully wondering if Jeran had called him or not, but with a simple shake of his head, he passes me off. "Dad?"
"Go to bed, Kyanite. You're sick, remember? Or are you that eager to start training back?" I get up from the couch and pull the blanket closer to my body as I take a few steps toward him. He takes his jacket off and puts it on the coat rack, and rubbing the bridge of his nose.
"I was talking to Matthew, that's all. He's leaving though." I state and pass my father up to stand beside Matthew. I nodd toward the door and stand in between him and my father and wait for him to leave.
"Wait." My father's voice booms out as he steps near to me, and as I glance up to him, I see the malice in his eyes and the thin lines of his lips.
"Dad. He's leaving. Just..."
"From what I was told, you harassed my son? Am I right?" That's when I hear his voice turn to a deeper tone and he steps closer to Matthew, his voice going to just a little louder than a whisper. "You are never to come here again, you hear me boy? You are not welcomed in his household. Now, as for my daughter, I've seen what you've done. You've hurt her. I want you out and I don't EVER want to see you around her again."
That's when he turns to me, to enfore upon me his ruling on the matter. His eyes dart right to me. My blood turns cold and I shake my head, pleading with him through my thoughts that I can't seem to make come out into a verbal defense. Please, don't do this dad. You've no clue what's going on.
"Do not let me catch you around him. Do I make myself clear?" I stand there staring at him, my mouth clinched tightly.
(1081)
