Reaching for You. //Jack (Matthew)

[*]

Pain medicines and sleep have taken over me as of the other day. Fighting in the underground scene has not only proven to make me feel invigorating after that win, but angry that the one person that needed to see it knows the situation by a different means. I was simply attacked in the streets that resulted in me having my elbow dislocated and my arm rebroken. My father's not even came to see me, yet uses Jeran as the middleman to make decisions. Where he is, I'll never know as the doctors have not let me out of this bed yet. "Two days... come on." I state and allow myself a few moments to wiggle my fingers, which pull directly toward my messed up arm. Well, if I get anywhere from this, I will wait until I'm fully healed before I fight again. I was pretty dim to go out and think I wouldn't be hurt again. Damn it!

I close and open my eyes a few times as I try to get the medicine to wear off so I'm not wanting to doze off to sleep again. I can't wait to get out of here and I hate staying in this place. Too many times I've been in the hospital. My new goal? Stay out of this place even if I have to play it safe for a while. This will be the last time I'm hooked up to machines and crap. As if I need the interruption, a nurse comes in and addresses me by my name and starts to hook me up to the machine to monitor my blood pressure while she starts checking a few other things as well.

"Pain, Miss Ruze?" I shake my head because I don't want to sleep anymore. She seems pleased to know that and grins. "They'll be letting you outsometime tonight or tomorrow morning. So, don't you worry. You'll be out of here in no time."

"Thank you." I simply state as she moves over to my arm to check the stitches and feel of my fingers for the temperature of my skin. "It's healing good. Fingers move. I feel the pain, so the surgery did what it was suppose to."

The nurse gives off a bit of a chuckle when I make it sound like I'm the nurse informing her of what's going on within my own body and how I'm starting to heal. She nods her head, pushes a few buttons on the machine and writes down in her vitals book and exits without another word leaving me alone in my room to stare at the brace on my arm. I let out an exaggerated sigh before another knock on the door interrupts my quiet moment and the voice that comes with it instantly sends this chill down my back yet makes me smile incredibly huge.

"I won!" What a lousy way to start the conversation.

(487 - PAT)

[Jack Lexington]

"No you didn't" I enter the room with just as much of an awkward conversation starter.
I've been worried about her since yesterday when I saw what happened in the fight. I might not have been overly worried but surely concerned.
The situation between us has been strange. I long to be back with the girl, who's been able to finally open up my eyes to why other guys want girlfriends and it seems she didn't want us to split up in the first place. Yet be barely talk.
I wait for the nurse to leave and then sit down on the chair next to her bed.
"Hope you don't mind."

By now I don't need the crutch to walk anymore but still can't sit on my left side because my tight is still sore. On the contrary to Kyanite I've been playing it safe though. I stayed away from the training center, even quit the program and got away from it all by accompanying my father to the other end of the district.
The whole situation frustrates me but it's also given me a certain sense of calm. I feel no need to get into any physical alceration at the moment.

I take a moment to look her over and then sigh. "Why did you do that, Kyanite?"
I think she knows what I mean. There was no need to get back into a fight so ealry and especially not an underground fight.
"Not a very clever move."

[*]

"I won!" It sounds positive, but with my voice, it sounds more like a cop out for my actions that I took part in down in that fight. I shrug my right shoulder the best I can as Matthew comes further into the hospital room and sits down hoping that I didn't mind. I shake my head slightly and push the button on the bed that raises my head just slightly as I readjust myself in the bed, keeping my arm as still as possible and propped on on the pillow as best as I can. The silence between us is looming though.

Then his eyes wash over my body and I suddenly feel incompetent again since I'm in teh same predicament as last time when I got into a fight. The last several times actually. Just say what you want already... I throw it around in my head for him to hurry up and speak, but when he does, it isn't like what would have come out had we still been together. It's more accusing than anything.

"Why did you do that Kyanite? Not a very clever move."

AGain, I shrug my only working shoulder at the moment and let my eyes divert away from him. What am I suppose to say? That I missed him? That losing has hurt me more than ever with every single person in my life? After a moment, I let a smile come across my face as I look back at him.

"Eternal glory." I sass him with good humor, but I shake my head a moment later. "You should know why. I had to get my reputation back. I had to get something back before the pregames ruined everything."

Does he understand what all that includes? My family? Friends? Sparring partners. Him? Though now, I wonder why he's here when he's been pretty much vacant for the last two months since we broke up. Why does he even want to be here, but I won't dare ask. Instead, I stay silent and just let my eye's take in everything about him that I used to be able to touch and feel. His eyes and his lips the most. His hands, as they would caress my face and his voice that would comfort me, though I don't get any of that now. It's almost tearing me apart just to have him sitting there staring at me adn expecting me to explain every reason for doing what I did.

"Fighting is all I know, Matthew. I needed to get back to it. Why else? Everyone at the gym wouldnt' take me seriously. They let me win so easily like their afraid to really challenge me. Down there... it was real. At least, some of those people down there don't consider me a fool anymore." After all that, I really begin to look at his face but there's something that brought him here. Does he still feel something for me? At least just a little to even come here to see me even if it is just to badger me about what happened the other night.

"How you been? I havn't seen you around lately." I question him, my facial expression softening dramatically and I let my eyes linger on his eyes, watching the beauty of his eyes as they move to look at me.

(559 PAT)

[Jack Lexington]

My words instantly created tension between us. I can see her expression harden and she slightly turns away from me. Maybe she doesn't want to see me at all after such a long absence.
"Eternal glory." Sounds like sarcasm to me.
"You need to win the games for that." I reply in a serious tone. Only the victors get to bathe in the glory for good.
"You should know why. I had to get my reputation back. I had to get something back before the pregames ruined everything."
I get the reputation part but what else did she loose because of the pregames. Is she referring to me? Because the pregames messed with my head so much that I pushed her away.
I check her expression briefly with a look of guilt settling on my features.
"Fighting is all I know, Matthew. I needed to get back to it. Why else? Everyone at the gym wouldnt' take me seriously. They let me win so easily like their afraid to really challenge me. Down there... it was real. At least, some of those people down there don't consider me a fool anymore." She explains herself but I'd like to disagree on that one.
"It's not true. You know much more than fighting. Nobody considers you a fool anywhere. Which other girl came as far as you?" I question.
"But it's too early. This was a good way to ruin your rep, not build it up again. You need to be all healed, strong, invincible. Look at you. She snapped you arm like a twig."
My own words make me cringe because the ferocity and unfairness of Vy's move makes me want to beat the shit out of her. "That chick better hope she'll never cross my path again because that was absolutley unnecessary."
I study her face for a moment and then the way she gingerly rests her arm on the pillow.
Her dark hair hangs in loose unwashed strands around her face. There's no make up but instead a large fight mark on her face. Yet I find her beautiful.

"That was hard to watch. I'm sorry that happened to you." A lot of sorries are flowing from my lips lately.

Her expression becomes soft when she finally asks. "How you been? I havn't seen you around lately." i watch her soft lips form those words and wonder how they felt on mine a few months ago. It seems too long ago.
"I've been better than you I'd say. Went on a business trip to the west with my dad for a while."
Then I smirk. "Got rid of the crutch and all my baggage. I think the break did me some good." I'm not sure how much she knows.
So i try a joke first.
"Grew some hair again." I run my palm over my still very short hair.
Did she hear that I quit the program? Did she hear about my alcohol escapades with Tyren? or our newly formed friendship? Did she hear that I told Gala I couldn't train her anymore?

"Are you still friends with Gala?" I try that approach.

[*]

"But it's too early. This was a good way to ruin your rep, not buildi t up again. You need to be healed, strong, invinsible. Look at you. She snapped your arm like a twig."

What he says actually makes me wonder if that's what it looks like from the other side of the situation. What he saw versus what I felt. He had to watch it though, but I had to live it. That one guy that yelled out that what I was going to repeat what happened in the pregames was one of the reasons I took up more of a career mindset. Though, I wished I had been able to challenge the guys instead of Vy. If I won against a guy, then my rep really would have been upped, but it was a start against the girl. Though, now, just as Matthew stated, I'm going to be out for a lot longer now that Vy had actually done some permantent damage to my arm, if for a few more months then a simple break. Now, I'm looking at least six months before I'll be fully ready to fight again, but when that comes around, will I want to fight? I'll be seventeen by then. Then just one more year before I will volunteer for the chance to win the games. Will I even want to volunteer if I have a future with Matthew if anything ever works out between us?

"Yeah. Snapped. That sounds brutal the way you put it, you know Matthew?" I try to lighten the situation between us. With a small grin, I raise an eyebrow toward him. "I"m fine though. I always get back up. I'll never just back down against a challenge."

Hard headed and severely determinded that I am, but toward Matthew, I can't just seem to say what I"m really feeling. That I've missed him. Will it come out? Will I say it to him?

"That was hard to watch. I'm sorry that happened to you."

"Don't be sorry. It was my own problem. I should have been watching her more closely. I guess each experience will make one learn. At least I got her first, twice... before she got me. Still, I won that fight, despite what you say." I try to convince him and push myself up further against the bed until I'm sitting in a normal position but I hold my arm close to my body and reposition the pillow under my arm so I don't have to hold it up. I flex my fingers a little bit when he starts a little bit of small talk explaining about his hair. I smile and reach my hand over to his head, letting my fingers run across the short hair.

"You look nice. Long hair or short. You can pull off both, you know? Though, there's nothing to play with now." I pay him a compliment and that hint of a flirt because either way he keeps his hair, on him, it'll always be sexy to me. I pull my hand back to my lap and just listen to the silence that comes between us. Just as I move my arm, I grimace to a pinch of pain eliciting from my elbow and I turn my head away.

"I think I'll be right beside you if I ever find that bitch again. Taking cheap shots like that don't sit well with me. You know that. Maybe, I'll take you along with me once I get rid of this thing?" I motion to the brace that takes up my entire arm. I flash him a small grin. "So, the break was needed? Must have been nice to just go off like that." I say without expecting a answer, until he asks a question about someone we both have seemed to neglect.

"Not really been around Gala much. Been stuck at home for one reason or another or just at the gym. Have you seen her lately? How's she doing? Is she keeping up with what I started teaching her about the throwing knives and all that?" I question him. "She showed some promise to the trade just starting out, but she gets frustrated easily."

A beeping noise on the machine beside me starts and the small iv bag attached to the tubing is flat that contains some antibiotics and sure enough a moment later a nurse comes in and removes the bag but keeps the saline hooked up and leaves a few minutes later. Again, silence seems to fill the void between me and Matthew.

"You know, I've missed you, right? It just ain't the same without you around. Wished you would have told Gala to tell me you were gone." I let my voice carry down.


(794 - PAT)

[Jack Lexington]

Our initial harsh tone when we talked about the fight has been replaced by a softer, caring one and before I know it she reaches out to run her hand over my short hair complimenting me that I can wear it either way.
That little gesture holds so much power. No other girl would be allowed to do this? No other girl would I want to do this. Her comment makes me blush a little as I used to be proud of my longer hair because it was different than other guys my age and it earned me a few nice comments from girls.
Ky claims that she likes it short as well."..there's nothing to play with now." If we were on different terms I'd offer her to play with sth else. But we're not anymore.
"Good, cause it's gone now." I smirk.

"Not really been around Gala much. Been stuck at home for one reason or another or just at the gym. Have you seen her lately? How's she doing? Is she keeping up with what I started teaching her about the throwing knives and all that?" She comments on our mutual friend but I can only shrug.
"I've only seen her once or twice about three weeks ago. She was throwing knifes then...pretty badly actually."
Maybe this is a good time to tell her that I quit the program. Before I can a nurse comes in to change her IV so I shut up. Then Kyanite continues.
"You know, I've missed you, right? It just ain't the same without you around. Wished you would have told Gala to tell me you were gone."
She missed me. That makes my heart do a little jump. I missed her, too. Did she miss me as a friend or lover though? It sounds pretty casual. But then she tells me I should have let her know I'm going away. Only a very good friend or girlfriend would demand to know that , right?
"I didn't see Gala anymore." Now's the time to confess.
"because I quit the program. They wouldn't let me train her if I'm not part of the center any more. I guess I should have told you that."
I'm torn between guilt and telling her what is becoming stronger than the guilt.
"I've missed you, too." Suddenly my eyes find hers while my hand is carefully placed on her twitching fingers.
"More than you know."

[*]

I voiced my opinon on what he should have done when he left. At least to allow me to quit worrying about him when I no longer saw him at the gym or just around town. Jeran even tried to tell me that he was even possibily trying to avoiding me, which made it worse on in the long run. What it comes down to in the end was for the simple fact that he didn't see her anymore after that. Even after three weeks, he claims that he hasn't talked to her. I must look awfully confused, because I furrow my brows a bit trying to come up with a reason. Then comes the explaination why.

"because I quit the program. They wouldn't let me train her if I'm not part of the center any more. I guess I should have told you that." I nod to him slowly at first. Now, I'm worried about Gala since I've done nothing to ask her if she was doing okay. It never crossed my mind that he would do that to her after all we've been through. Life has really taken a turn for the worst for all three of us. I assumed that he was still training her but what gets me is that Gala had done nothing to tell me or inform me that Matthew dropped her like that. I suddenly feel even worse about the situation that's going on now. Some friend I am.

"Why... would you quit?" I mutter, not understanding at all. I'm truely confused about the whole reason he quit. Why he would do that to Gala? My gaze falls down to my fingers for only a moment. I let the ones on my left hand move, making my arm stretch and pull on the bone that's healing, while the ones on my right move with it in a nervous fashion. I move my gaze upward and instantly I meet with Matthew's eyes sending this shock through my body, a type of cold chill especially when he places his hand to cover my right hand and I stop moving all together. The touch jolts me.

"I've missed you, too. More than you know."

How much that makes me wonder if this breakup was really necessary. If he missed me as much as he says, then why are we really still apart? Was the break needed as well? The break from everything seems to have worked for him, but as for me? Considering my current situation, I'd say that what's happened in the last two months has only worked for one. I'm glad that it's done wonders for him because I hated to see him so upset about what happened with the pregames. Now? Can things change between us again? Is it possible to see about rekindling what we used to have or is that gone now?

"Do you still think we can't be friends? I don't want to lose you completely, Matthew. Is that even a possibilty? Friends?" I turn my hand over, and let my fingers wrap around his hand like I used to when we were together. Is that acceptable now? Probably not considering we aren't together as a couple, but if he pulls away, then I won't try to keep him close. I just want that one more touch. That one last moment to show me what I'm going to miss.


(565 - PAT)

[Jack Lexington]

it quickly becomes obvious that Kyanite had no idea of me quitting the program , which probably means she hasn't been in toch with Gala either. But why not?
She asks me why I quit. Of course she wants to know and by now I've shared it with three people: Gala, my father and Tyren so why not her?
"I couldn't do it anymore. I felt that I'm training fro something useless.'
Of course she can't understand my motives if I don't dig deeper so I so.
"Remember the fight against Tyren? At the end? We were both so determined, so fierce but when I slashed his neck and all that blood came gushing out, spraying everywhere, I thought I had just killed him."
I remember that moment like it was yesterday. How I pressed my hands on his neck to save him, how they dragged me away.
"Tyrens a good guy and I almost killed him. I got to know him at the hospital and we started talking. He told me about his intentions to quit and it just made sense."

I search her pretty face for some understanding.

"Why would we sign up for hacking into our friends like you and Gala? You never know who you get matched with. You know, the games we can't help. The Capitol makes them but I never want to be part of the pregames anymore and wound or kill somebody innocent. If I fight it has to be for the right reasons. So I quit the center!"

I take a long deep breath and rub her hand under mine.

It takes a moment but then I add what I've been thinking about for a while now because I was hoping this moment would come.
"I never wanted to be friends with you. That's why I said no to that a few weeks ago. I've always wanted more from you and if I can't have that I don't want anything."
There, now it's out. Hopefully she gets what I mean. If not I need to make myself clearer so I take her hand and lower my lips until I can kiss her soft skin just next to the scabs on her knuckles. Maybe she understands now.

[*]

"I couldn't do it anymore. I felt that I'm training for something useless."

To me, that almost don't make sense. We train to become strong. We train to gain experience and to save ourselves should the moment arise. Not only for the games, but in life, too. Just like when Mason attacked. I should have expected that. I should have been able to use what what I learned in the so many years of constant strength training and sparring to defend and protect myself but it didn't work out that way. That's constantly why we need to train. Life isn't just a bowl of cherries. One cannot simply live without a purpose and now Matthew's purpose is gone. When he almost killed Tyren, that one thing set him apart from everything else. He learned another purpose in life, yet for me, I just can't think like that. I won't ever challenge a friend again, but I won't hesitate to protect myself even if it means killing someone. I think? What he says seems to make me think. I draw my gaze past him to the wall to stare at a single nic in the wall where the pain missed. A small tiny dot.

It's unlike the rest. That one small dot stands out among the rest of the entire wall. So different. So, unusual. Just like Matt. It makes me realize that imperfection is part of life. That imperfection is perfect. Matthew, how you always seem to amaze me no matter what happens between us.

Just as I watch that small dot lay among it's perfect counterparts that were completely white and pristine, my eyes brighten up to his revelation. The only problem is, that's his way of life. I've never been to that point in my life and I'm not sure I fully understand what it feels like to kill someone, but he has.

"The games is the whole point to train though. If you get reaped, Matthew, I would expect for you to do whatever it takes to make it back, right? You would, wouldn't you?" I may be making a selfish decision, but I would want him back just for myself. Even if we never get back together, losing him in any shape or form would ruin me. "I don't see why you would quit the center though. There are other reasons to train. I still need a sparring partner. I still need to be taught more one on one. You seen what happens to me. Even Gala still needs a load of training. You have purpose, even if you don't play that pregame stuff again."

He takes a deep breath, and his fingers move across my skin. Prickles sending chills throughout my entire body to his welcomed touch. What is it that make me do that with him? Why does he always seem to make my body react to his touch? Chills, goosebumps, prickling skin? Just around him, though. Only him. I don't want to lose that.

"I never wanted to be friends with you. That's why I said no to that a few weeks ago. I've always wanted more from you and if I can't have that I don't want anything."

So, did I act to fast when he said that? Was the meaning that clear as it is now? When he pushed me away those times, it made it seem as though actions were louder than his words, yet his words is what seemed to kill me. Can I trust you won't push me away again? Can I have you back? Do you want me back?

His lips move down to my hand that he's allow me to hold, and only a moment ago he was letting his fingers graze my skin, now the skin of his perfect lips touch my hand. That sensation runs up and down my arm and lets a flood of emotions pull through my heart making it skip a beat. That burning sensation comes to my throat.

"It was all a mistake, wasn't it? Breaking up?" I question him. His lips leave my skin but I want nothing more than to have that back. I squeeze his hand gently, afraid he's going to pull away from me again. My eyes desperately searching his face to see what the next part will hold. What he'll say or do next. Can this mean getting back together? Maybe just start out slow again? I would do anything for him.

"You can still have that cause you've always had me, Matthew. I don't want nothing but you..... if that's even what you still want now?"



(768 - PAT)

[Jack Lexington]

"The games is the whole point to train though. If you get reaped, Matthew, I would expect for you to do whatever it takes to make it back, right? You would, wouldn't you?"
Kyanite has a good point. What do I do if I get reaped. I know I won't volunteer, not anymore but what if I get reaped? Will I be prepared?
"I won't stop training, Marr. Just not at the center anymore. And sure, I'd fight with everything I got."
The question remains what I'd do should I be in that arena with a friend. But I choose not to follow that thought.


"I don't see why you would quit the center though. There are other reasons to train. I still need a sparring partner. I still need to be taught more one on one. You seen what happens to me. Even Gala still needs a load of training. You have purpose, even if you don't play that pregame stuff again."

"I didn't expect you to understand." I declare even though it might sound hurtful. "My motive is very personal. I started training at the center at the age of 11 with the goal to win the pregames once I'm old enough. Not a day went by when I didn't have that goal in mind. I'd train when I was sick, I'd go there after school, work, you name it. But when that goal suddenly went out of reach the center became useless to me."
I look into her eyes hoping she'll understand what I mean but I need to let her know that this doesn't mean the end of me being around for her or Gala.
"That doesn't mean I can't give you any pointers or Gala. Heck the two of us went out in the woods on our first 'date'. What better training place?" I smirk at her hoping that my joke will lighten the mood.
I pull up my sleeve showing her the scar she left on my arm. "Still got your love nibble there."
Clearly I want more than to be friends if I talk like this and after weeks of battling with myself I finally think I'm ready.

A watch a few emotions wash over her face when I kiss her hand before she asks. "It was all a mistake, wasn't it? Breaking up?"
"I wouldn't call it a mistake." Because it wasn't. It was fullblow me at my lowest.
"I was feeling very low after that final battle and just didn't feel like I deserve you. You've been nothing but good to me. It seemed like you should be with a better guy. It wasn't like I didn't want you anymore. I was just too self absored in my fucking mystery."
I had spent a lot of time mulling over what went wrong and whether or not I wanted Kyanite back. After a while, and seeing her sick, I decided that she was the one for me, even though I might not be perfect for her.


Kyanite takes a load off my shoulder by making the first move:
"You can still have that cause you've always had me, Matthew. I don't want nothing but you..... if that's even what you still want now?"
There's a smile that coming from deep inside and I can't hold it back when I answer.

"The past weeks made me think a lot. that's why I can't call it a mistake. I've kind of come to terms with myself. That I'm just not as great as I thought. But I can handle that now. I don't know how you do it...you know, take me for who I am but if you still want me, I'd try to be a better man this time."

Hopefully these words mean as much to her as they do to me because I've never been a talker, never been great with words so this was a revelation. My eyes flicker back and forth between her eyes and mouth watching carefull for a reaction. Is there a slight smile tugging on her full lips as well?

OOC: Sorry for the OLD pic
better?

[*]

"I didn't expect you to understand." I understand more than he thinks, just not in the way he's thinking. My only objective was to show him how much he was still needed. Not to actually make him go back to the center. Though, I guess it'll just never work out that way anymore. He has his reasons and to him that makes him whole again. I can't deny him what he's feeling and it isn't my place to tell him any different. My place to him is to support his ideas and his actions. If we are almost the same age, why is it that I've never seen him there then? I started training the exact same year as him. I guess, meeting people just has to happen in the right way.

"I think I understand now." I whisper out under my breath when he finishes his story about why it just won't work for him anymore to go to the gym to train. He's moved on. Evidently, losing the pregames has really had that much of an impact on his way of thinking and the way he decided to go in life. I hope that he won't deny me of my own thoughts because I've still got that goal to meet about the games. When it comes down to it, I'm still unsure if I'll volunteer when I get eighteen if I've not been reaped. If me and Matthew get back together and stay that way, my life may end up changing as well. It's just so hard to tell that far away.

"Tat doesn't mean I can't give you any pointers or Gala. Heck the two of use went out in the woods on our first 'date'. What better training place?"

That makes me grin fully. Just thinking about what happened that day sends this feeling into the pit of my stomach for what we had to go through. The first time we made out. The first time I fully trusted him enough to tell him something that I had harbored inside for so long. He's been the one all along that I've needed and even now, I still feel that way. It's just something about him that I can't put into words. It's a feeling. It's the touch that he gives me that sends those shocks through my nervous system.

"Still got your love nibble there." I watch him show me his arm and sure enough, the mark is still there. Not too vibrant anymore, but it's still visible and with the opportunity, I reach for his arm to take and I let my fingers glide across the mark. It's so real. Just everything that has happened.

"Yeah, well, your so called 'love' nibble is still there on me as well. Guess there's always going to be a part of each other we'll never forget..." I give him a shy grin and hope that the mark isn't going to be the only memory I have of him. I want more memories. I want more moments of 'us'.

Alternatively, my suggestion that breaking up was only a mistake is taken in the opposite direction as Matthew states. It was not a mistake... so, it was meant to happen then? What, we had to break up to become closer? If that's even possible. If get back together at all? I drop my head just slightly as he tries to explain, but i'm still trying to wrap my head around the reasoning.

"I remember once, a long time ago, you said that once. That you wasn't good for me. My response was something like... I couldn't think of anyone better. That's never changed." My eyes move upward to his arm, staring at the mark still, while my fingers move gently over the area again.

Perhaps, I need to make it clear to him that It's still the same even more. If he knows it's still okay with me... With that thought, I let him know that 'us' can still happen and just a moment later, I can see the smile that appears so outwardly. To see that smile on his face lifts me up. Maybe? Can it?

Pulling my arm close to my body, I move my legs to the side of the bed and lean toward him, extending my arm to reach around his neck to pull him closer to me. I hold still a moment as I allow my own lips to get close to his. Will he allow it? I have no clue what to say to that, but with this kiss... if he accepts it, will it show what I want to say as well? Please, hear me out. I gently press my lips against his for merely a moment and pull away. Fear taking over in case it was the wrong moment for me to do that. In case he didn't want that as a sign I want him back. I look deep into his eyes, going back and forth admiring the iris's and the clear blue color.

"I'll always want you... no doubt about that." I grin.

(PAT - 850)

[Jack Lexington]

"I remember once, a long time ago, you said that once. That you wasn't good for me. My response was something like... I couldn't think of anyone better. That's never changed." She tells me exactly what I've been hoping for as a response. I know she said those words before , which I didn't understand and probably never will because there are so many nicer and better boyfriends out there.
"I know." I mumble back at her that grin never leaving my face.
"I'll never understand but that's your call."
For a moment I look down at her hand caressing my scar that she left there. It's almost as if it's something that unites us. Strange!

The moment becomes a little long and awkward but then I see her move towards me, reaching for my neck. That alone makes me wonder what's to follow and slightly nervous.
Then Kyanite looks into my eyes with her face so close that it;s not hard to guess what she's about to do. I make sure the smile never leaves my lips and don't move one bit so she can do what she's set out to do. Oh how great it feels. Her lips only brielfy brush over mine but they're soft soft and there's so much meaning behind it!
The kiss is way too short so I follow her slightly when she moves away to extend it for a second before we look into each others eyes.
"I'll always want you... no doubt about that."
My hand's on her scarred up cheek as I look deep into those dark brown eyes and then place my other hand on her face to close my eyes and make the kiss I give her now last much longer than hers. It's deeper and even gentler as I slowly place my lips on her and then take her bottom lip between mine.
I wish this very moment could last a year. But when our lips part I feel we've just declared our relationship to be what it was before.
"I missed that so much."
I move back a little to gather my thoughts before I take her hands and keep my eyes trained on it. "You won't hear that very often from me but I'm sorry... for pushing you away."

OOC Check out the top of his arm

[*]

"I'll never understand but that's your call." I nod my head and give him a knowledgeable smile to go along with it. Not all things are meant to be understood between us. Just as I don't understand the real meaning and expectations of quitting the career gym, he will not understand fully what I feel deep inside when I'm around him, even with his imperfections that's what makes me really love him. Could I have really just meant that?

As if I needed to say anything at all, I decide upon doing the one thing that my heart was pulling for me to do and that was to show him through a kiss. I wanted to show him that what we had was still there. That if he still wanted the relationship like I did, then he woudn't refuse me the kiss. I let my lips touch his softly, slowly and just like that I moved back to end it but what surprise me was that he followed me just a little to keep it there. A moment later, his hand is on my cheek, brushing up against the scar but his eyes don't meet with the scar. Instead, they look me right in the eye and I can see him fully. What is that look in his eye? Is it lust? Or love?

It has to be love.

He brings his other hand up to my face as he now lets his lips push against mine to show me exactly what I showed him a moment ago. His lips against me is so sweet. Gentle. Soft. I've missed having this part of him in the last two months that right now, it almost feels new again. Rekindling this part of my heart that wants nothing more than to just pause this moment. I want to be held in his embrace, but when he parts the meaningful kiss, I long for more. There will be more time for that later. I think it's clear that both you and him are just happy to be back together.

"I've missed that so much." He declares and takes my hand in his. His voice graces me once again, and I listen to what he has to say and I'm taken aback by it, but throughly pleased with what he says. "You won't hear that very often from me but I'm sorry... for pushing you away."

I squeeze his hand and look up at him with everything I have. "It's done and overwith. I'm sorry for what you had to go through. I should have been more understanding. I wish you would have let me stay beside you, but what happened happened. I'm just glad to have you back. I've missed you like crazy." I watch him lean back as he starts to relax in the chair, a moment later, I pat the space beside me on the bed, waiting for him to get a little closer.

[Jack Lexington]

I'm so glad Kyanite is not one who wants me to repeat the words or more of them. Instead she declares.
"It's done and overwith. I'm sorry for what you had to go through. I should have been more understanding. I wish you would have let me stay beside you, but what happened happened. I'm just glad to have you back. I've missed you like crazy."
I can only nod to that because after a while I felt the same way. Being apart from her seemed to make even less sense than the whole pregames.
"You were the only good thing that came out of that training center for me." I smile a bitter sweet smile because it's sad to think that nothing else came from it. Maybe my good shape and a near win. Maybe one day I can be happy about second place. I'm starting to feel that it's a bit of an achievement even though I eventually failed.

"Never thought I'd miss a girl but honestly I couldn't stop thinking about you. I wanted your company again, all those crazy little things we do. You seem to understand me."

She pats the spot next to her on the bed so I follow her order and sit over there.
My arm brushed up against hers when I sit down, so I let my hand rest on hers again.
It feels so strange to be able to sit so close and do this again. Relieving in a way. Maybe even healing.
"Wow." I just look at our connected hands.
"That's...a little overwhelming." I admit my feelings like I usually don't.

Since I don't want to be perceived as sentimental slob I look at her other arm and ask. "What was wrong with it? How long are they keeping you?"
I swallow hard against that sentimental lump that had been forming in my throat.

[*]

"You were the only good thing that came out of that training center for me." Wow. What a declaration. I can't help but notice already how much he's changed. He was never like this before we split up. He was never just so open with his feelings and he definately never apologized before, then again, a lot has happened between us both. Both in seperate ways, we seem to have taken different paths. Both paths of which seem to have come back together after a long and winding road.

"I would say the same, but I dont want it to sound like I'm mimicking what you just did. I will say, that you've definately made me realize that life is worth it to have someone to share it with." There goes my soft side again. It has to be the drugs that are coursing through my veins that are making me just say whatever comes to my mind or maybe it's just Matthew? His presence in front of me that is making me giddy to have had that kiss moments ago. That feeling returning just thinking about it. How new it felt again after so long.

"I wanted your company again, all those crazy little things we do. You seem to understand me." I must have a quizzical look on my face to that statement, because I'm not really sure what he's really talking about. Crazy things? Does he mean our first date? The barn? Those times we got intimate or just enjoyed each other? Along the lines of understanding him, I just grin because I dont' see how I truely understand him, but if he says it, I must.

Accepting the spot beside me on the bed, he sits and his arm brushes up against mine, and his hand touhes mine again. How much I have longed for this feeling from him again. How much I've wanted to be able to do this again - just me and him. So much time spent away from him is really making me appriciate what we had and have again.

"Wow. That's a little overwhelming." Am I moving too fast for him again? Do I need to back off? Offering the bed was too much, too soon for him just like it was when we first got together? I don't remove my hand though. I let him make that move if it's that much for him. My heart skips a beat though.

"We'll take it slow...?" I simply mutter to him.

When it comes to my hand, it's apparent that he doesn't know the extent of the injury since he wasn't here when it all came about. Instead, he came after everything was done. Better late then never... and i'm so glad you came.

"Rebroke what just healed. It's not as bad as it was, but still, needs to mend. It was the dislocation that casued me to have the surgery. Tore some ligaments or something that they needed to repair and set it back into place." I shrug my right shoulder a bit. "Guess she got me good. Next time, when we have a rematch, I won't let her get in a cheap shot again. No way, but the good news, the nurse said as early as tonight or first thing in the morning. I guess it just depends on when the doctor can come to see me and check everything. I can't wait. I want out of this place so bad. I've made a new goal."

I give him a very serious glare but it's returned a moment later with a smile and my eyes reflecting the grin as well. "Staying out of this place. New years resolution..." I give off a small sigh and intertwine my fingers within his hand. I understand what he meant by overwhelming. This feeling is so surreal, considering. "So, what are you going to do once you leave here? Been busy with your father and all? What are you going to do now?"