Wishing waiting (Marree)

[*]

The most common of phrases for someone to say when something they do hurts or injures another is 'I'm sorry'. It's so very easy how those two words slip from my mouth that simply can't say everything I've feeling guilty for. No. There are so many things over the last six months that I regret. Each one has taken me to where I am now and as I feel the strong arms around me keeping me from sinking to the ground, he continues to coddle me like a father would a child and his mouth expells the 'shh'ing noise in order to calm someone as well. I am a complete wreck though. Tears collect but do not fall, but my gasping breath says other wise.

I am completely out of it.

Thoughts, imagines, words and looks invade my mind of what could be happening to Matthew and each one of them seems to end in death. Somehow, I keep seeing his lifeless face in my eyes and I'm barely even registering how Jeran is trying to get me to sit down in one of the chairs. I won't move no matter how much he wants me too. Even when another set of hands comes over to address my emotional self, I bury my head into Jeran's chest. Above me, I hear him telling them that I'll be alright. That he'll take care of me, but can he? Will he be able to fix whatever it is that I've done to my boyfriend? My only rock that has done everything possible to protect me?

Will I lose him right now and I didn't fight against leaving to stay with him?

"Kya... please. Come sit with me." I shake my head slowly into his shirt and he lets his chin rest against my head. One of his hands moves to my head and he begins straightening my hair downward. He keeps me in his warm embrace as if to protect me from the entire world that wants nothing more than to have my defeat and tear me down until I crack under the pressure.

"Lets get him to xray and run a full scan just to be safe." I hear somewhere behind me. For no reason at all, I make myself look up and away from Jeran's comforting grip. He can no longer hide my view from what I see when I feel him trying to make me look away. There on the stretcher, going down the hallway to pass by the hallway near us is Matthew. The strained look on his face has my entire body running cold and darkening around my vision.

"Matt...hew...." I whisper out and that's when I feel my knees weaken and Jeran's stong arms keep me up. With a hand to my head, I vaguely remember being sat in the chair only to have a moment later a nurse in white staring me in the face. With a worried glance, she places a hand to my cheek and then to my forehead and says something to Jeran.

"Has she done this before?" Her questions come out. I listen for Jeran's responce but in all honesty, their voices feel far away yet my eyes stay peeled to the doors that I remember seeing them take Matthew into.

"Kya? Kya!" Jeran's voice draws me out of my stupor long enough for him to get a good look at me. He shakes his head. "The nurse wants to look you over, okay?"

I shake my head. I don't want to be looked over. Yes, I'm distraught, but what can I do? My boyfriend was almost killed by my childhood bully turned psychopath and just now, I tried to kill him as well by getting him so upset to the point that the nurse had to shoo me away. "No." I clearly say and let my hand go to my head. "Just tell me he's going to be okay. Please, nurse. Just find out if he's going to be okay?"

The nurse must have said something to Jeran because I hear him tell her the name of my boyfriend and she hands him something, I see in the corner of my eye, and she walks away. Jeran sits beside me and pulls me over to him, motioning for me to lay my head on his knee. When I do, I feel the cold temperature of a cloth being placed on my neck and from one second to the next, my mind drifts off into a wide open space of nothing. My mind is blank.

[Jack Lexington]

The white lights above me become one big blurr as my eyes are loosing their focus while my mind is loosing it's ability to feel the majority of the pain I'm in. Almost comfortably numb I lay on the bed that's being pushed down the hallway with heart rate wires attached to my chest and that darn tube under my right arm. I'm oblivious to these things though.

For the briefest of moments I think I've seen Kyanite. Dark hair, lean figure. She's with somebody. Why isn't she with me?
I try to call her but my lips don't cooperate. Whatever they've given me would calm down an elephant I guess.
I'm still there though, aware how dangerous my condition could be for my life.

The next moment a wall and doors block the view of Ky's slender form, which is soon replaced by the beeping of machines, sterile smell and endless medical equipment.

The doctor explains what he's doing. Something about x ray and blood test...whatever ....just don't let me drown in my own blood.
I try to wipe it from my lip but my hand is way to uncoordinated and the short, strained breaths have left me with no energy whatsoever.

I'm close to blacking out so I close my eyes.

The waiting and hoping for the best becomes endless and truth be told I can only think that Jins will win. Over me, over her. He'll be sitting in his cell laughing because he killed me. What will Ky do? What is she doing now? Is she breaking down, crying, trying to protect herself, does she care enough to stay close?

The endless wait ends when the results of the x-rays come back and a hand gently shakes my shoulder.
I open my eyes and find an oxygen mask over my nose. When did that happen?

I see their mouths move but can barely hear what they're saying, nor focus my eyes properly.
All I make out is. "Pulmonary laceration." Whatever that means.
I nod as if I know what they're talking about.
"Do you understand?" One asks me but all I can groan is. "No."

One of the nurses pulls the mask of her face and throws her gloves into a garbage can before she pushes a strand of hair behind her ear and approaches the small group taking care of Kyanite.

For a moment she carefully watches what's going on. Then she sits down next to the two dark haired siblings.
"Are you okay?"
She lets her gaze wander from sister to brother and back. The woman isn't concerned with what sort of relationships her patients and visitors have but she's seen the young woman in her patients room and now she's laying here in complete distress and on the verge of breaking down. So it's in her nature to give her some form of reassurance.
"I just wanted to let you know about your friend. I can't tell you the details because it's confidential but I can tell you it's serious. Mr. Dunham's stable but we're watching him closely in case he needs surgery. We'll know more in the morning. You might want to go home, get some rest and come back tomorrow."
She offers both Ruzes a smile and gets up looking pretty tired herself.

[*]

The coldness that penetrates the back of my neck is calming. The hand on my back, running up and down along the spine is also something that seems to calm the heavy breaths that were beginning to make me light headed. The knee in which my head lays upon, is my rock. Jeran is the stability that I need right now. Even the nurse that had given him the cloth stays near me for a few minutes when my eyes see the last remaining peice of metal that belonged to Matthew's bed before it was shut off behind the door. My eyes never look away from the door because I feel myself become as stiff as a bone. Nothing can coax me to me and Jeran doesn't try. The nurses' voice seems so far away when she talks to Jeran and I hear him say something about what had happened for me to be in the hospital as well, but my release was only a day later. Maybe, they should have kept me longer. Perhaps given me something to knock me unconscious so that I wouldn't have to endure all this. That didn't happen though. "Well, let me know if you need anything, alright?" I hear the nurse say and her form disappears from sight. Jeran's soft breaths seems to lull me into a light daze as my eyes fall to a close. Time inches by with the speed of a snail. Even though sleep doesn't invade me, I can't seem to resist the nightmares I've seen in my dreams last night and that forces my eyes open. I had to have been pulled into a light slumber because a nurse approaches me and Jeran, sitting beside of me when she asks if I'm okay. I don't give her any sign at all, but my eyes seem to convey what I want to know. Then my voice. "Matthew?" I ask her. She replies with a long statement. Some of which doesn't make sense to me. One or two of the words get stuck in my head. 'Serious'. 'Surgery'. Tears begin to fall slowly and Jeran's hand goes instantly to pulling my hair back, smoothing it away with comforting words to go along with it. "Kya. He'll be fine. Don't worry, alright, sis? Matthew's stubborn. He will pull out of this. Trust me. He's hard headed." Jeran's words seem honest and truthful. Even though I know how much he dislikes my boyfriend, saying those things makes me think that Jeran is being truthful and full of hope. Something that I lack at the moment. "Please, don't make me go home. I won't leave. I can't... what if he gets worse. What if he..." I sit up slowly, pulling myself together cause I don't want to say the word. They probably won't let me stay if they see me in this state, so I try to hide the emotions that are flooding me. "See if they'll let me sit by his bedside? Please? I can't go home. I just can't." "Okay, Kya." I watch him go in search of the nurse.

[Jack Lexington]

I've declared that I have no idea what they're trying to tell me but I get the sense of urgency in their voices. There's no need to tell me not to sit up because every little movement is agonizing so I lay as still as I can on my bad side because that's the only way to breath somewhat normal. While the tube in my side causes discomfort my arm is supporting my head but my eyes keep closing on me while I try to comprehend just how bad I really am.
There's one thought in my head that keeps me from actually thinking straight. I could die.
Never before have I've gone down that road with my thoughts. Never have I been this afraid. Never did I become so consumed by anxiety.
"We need you to lay still, don't move, don't talk, don't cough." I hear most of the instructions given by the doctor who's moved around the bed so I can see him.
"Did you hear me, Mr. Dunham?" His voice is slow and loud as if he was talking to a drunk.
I only nod my head and try to focus on his old, wrinkly face framed by some white hair.
If he's this old he hopefully will have enough experience to know what he's doing.

My thoughts drift away to Kyanite. I wish she was here right now. Close enough to hold my hand because I feel so incredibly lonely. For all these people I'm just another patient. one that might live or not. They've seen many come and go. They're indifferent about it because they have to be. Otherwise their job would be impossible for them. Just like Max, who distances himself.
But Ky cares. I know that. To her I am not just another person. She needs me to be okay, I know for sure. Just like my father....has anybody told him what's going on? What if I don't see tomorrow? Will he know? Is there a chance that this might happen? Should I ask?
"Am I going to live?" My voice is breaking up laced with thick emotions while I feel my throat tighten considerably.
If it gets any tighter or I feel any lonelier I'll start sobbing. It's hard to keep it together right now. But somehow I do.

The old man wrinkles his brow and nods. "Most likely. If the cut in your lung doesn't close itself up, we'll close it. You'll be fine, boy." A reassuring nod is all I get. What else can I expect. At least he's somewhat sure that I'll be okay.

"Just stay still. Don't aggrovate it. Sleep. That's best."

If only I could.

The night becomes longer than any night before because every time I fall into a light sleep I get woken by terrifying thoughts: Images of drowning, images of Kyanite all alone, images of fighting an unknown monster and finally simply the beeping of the heart rate monitor.

Sweat soaked I lay in a dark room left by everybody. Friends, family, staff. Do I even have friends? I only know of one and he isn't around either. It's just me and the machines and a shit load of pain that seems to be tearing up my chest and suffocating me at the same time.
Staring at the opposite wall I remain calm though. I feel a cold shiver running over my bare back but don't dare to tug on the bed cover.

I try to return to the sleep filled with night mares but until the early hours of the morning I'm too full of fear to find any more sleep.
Desperately I focus on the only good thing I know, who makes it all worth it. Kyanite. I picture her with every detail I remember: Every freckle, scare, the way her hair falls over her shoulders, her smile, how her voice sounds when she chats or wants to be seductive. Her life for mine...would it be worth it?

That's when I'm so exhausted that nothing would keep me awake any longer. So when the first rays of sun crawl up on the horizon I fall into a dreamless sleep.

--

After leaving Kyanite and her brother the nurse, who had talked to them, returns to the station. She keeps a close eye on her monitors and alarms while filling in a sheet but she also has a brief talk with her colleague about Kyanite to get her story. Learning that the young lady has just been released gives her a little more understanding, so she lets her sleep in the hallway, even comes back to provide her with a blanket.
"There's really nothing you can do here."

When the dark haired guy approaches her and asks about his sister seeing the patient she has to deny.
"I'm sorry. She can't. He's needs rest. That's very important." That's all the explanation Jeran gets before she returns to filling in her form.

--
That same night another visitor gets shoed away. The young woman has long red hair, plae skin and blue eyes. Not knowing what to do she paces the floor for a while but eventually sits down in the chairs near the sibling drawing her jeans jacket closer around her shoulders.
A look to the side confirms that these two are waiting for someone, maybe even Matthew because there are only two rooms opposite of the chairs.

She gives the young woman a weak smile and clears her throat.
"I was wondering. Do you know anything about Matthew Dunham?"

[*]

The moment that Jeran walked away from me to go speak with the nurse, my eyes stay on his form. I'm almost like a mother watching her child to make sure every movement is noted; afraid to miss a single thing. The only thing going through my head is that she might allow me the special privaledge to just sit by his bedside. Just to let my eyes watch his chest rise and fall. I want nothing more than to be there when he wakes up for some reason. I've grown so close to him in so many ways, and especially now when he did everything possible to protect me. When he did the unthinkable to try to rid me of the one person that has made life nothing but to dread. He nods his head once and his mouth moves again, but the nurse simply shakes her head.

My heart drops. I almost feel ready to panic when Jeran starts walking back. His lips pursed together and he stuffs his hands in his pockets on the way over. I already start shaking my head and pulling the blanket down that the nurse had given me. I dip my head down and place my hands over my face as my body becomes racked with silent sobs. An arm drapes over top of my shoulders and Jeran pulls me into his embrace. I don't understand when he became so loving like this; it's been quite some time. Not to mention, the last time we had words, he declared that he would never be there for me again as long as it involved Matthew. Yet, here he is.

"The nurse said he needs his sleep. They aren't letting anyone in right now. Not even family. I guess it's that crucial that Matthew gets uninterrupted rest. You know their right, Kya. Listen. I'll stay here with you okay? I'll call dad. Let him know what's going on." I can't smile right now, not with Matthew in such a terrible position, but I do feel something along the lines of joy to know that in the worst of times, Jeran still has my back. He pats my back and then leans me up as he releases himself of my comfort. He stands and walks down the hallway to talk to the nurses and he disappears.

I sit there in the chairs. My brown eyes stay locked on the closed door to Matthew's room as I draw my legs up to my chest and rest my cheek on my knees. A few sobs still erupt from my uneasy nerves, but for the most part, I try to keep calm. As the nurse had said, there's nothing that I can do. She's wrong though. Just being here, whether Matthew knows or not, is enough. I'm glad that Jeran appeared when he did or I might not know about how dire the situation is right now.

I count the times the nurse walks by me and I think I stop somewhere about fifty-seven before a voice pulls me out of my trance. Beside me, Jeran seems to have dozed off, his head leaned back against the wall and his eyes closed. His breathing has evened out enough that it's similiar to a sleep patterned slumber. I look at the girl though but I don't say anything to her. Mainly because she's asking about Matthew. I've never seen this girl in my life and why would she be asking for Matthew?

"I wish I knew myself. Since I'm not family, they won't tell me anything. I'm so worried about him." I start. My eyes are getting heavy as I sit here, partly due to lack of sleep in the last fourty-eight hours. I'm exhausted and running on nothing but oxygen. I wouldn't even take anything to drink or eat because I can't seem to make myself consume something so trivial at a time like this. My stomach is in knots. Though the woman in front of me looks worried, too. Who is she?

"How did you know Matthew was here?" I question becasue I'm trying to find out why another girl is here asking about Matthew when I know he don't have many female friends.

[Jack Lexington]

For a moment the young strawberry blonde woman has to wait until she recieves and answer from the girl in the plastic chairs nearby.
"I wish I knew myself. Since I'm not family, they won't tell me anything. I'm so worried about him."
So they don't know anything either. Biting her bottom lip she pushes a strand of hair behind her ear wondering who these two are. It's not like Matthew has female friends. Let alone people who care about him enough to look this worried. The raven haired girl looks like she's been crying and up for days.

"How did you know Matthew was here?" The girl asks so the new comer musters up a weak smile and answers.
"I got a call from the hospital because they couldn't reach our father."
She seems to be struggling a little as well. Maybe for whole different reasons but she does. It's been years since she's last seen her brother and she didn't come here entirely on her own free will. It needed a push from her husband to actually make the trip into town even though the girl knew that it had to be serious if she got a call.
"I'll check again. Maybe I should mention that I'm family. I'm his Trinity, his sister."

Then she walks away to the station, this time talking to a different male nurse and after a few minutes comes back to the seats.
Her already pale color of skin has almost turned to white as she slowly sits to digest what she heard.
Her head turns to see the other girl but there aren't any tears.
"Do you want to know what's going on?"

Before she can say a word the same guy, who has just started his shift is approaching my room with fast steps because one of the monitors had alarmed him, so she freezes only to ease up a little when he returns not long after in a more relaxed way.
"He said that Matthew's right lung has been punctured by a dagger..." Her face becomes weary because she has no idea what happened.
"It's still bleeding and unless it closes up by itself they'll have to operate him...." Her eyes become fixed on the girl and her sleeping brother.
"What on earth happened, do you know?"
She can only assume that her brothers explosive personality finally came and bit him in the ass. "Did he provoke a fight?"

--


Sometime in the early hours of the morning I get woken up by a hefty coughin fit while all through the night I was okay because of the meds they had put into my system.
Unfortunately it stopped right here, together with my much needed sleep as it violently shakes me and tears up my chest. I need to lay still. Instead I find myself curling up in pain on my side, pulling my knees up and trying my very best to suppress any more coughing. Screwing up my face I try to taste the same coppery taste in my mouth although I'm only half conscious. With everything I have I hope it's not coming to my lips anymore.
I keep my eyes closed because I'm too torn up but the taste doesn't come. Thank goodness.

With somewhat even breaths I lay there, still and more alone than ever, on the side of the bed with my right arm dangling over the edge and numb. I want to go back to sleep but the coughing chased it away.
All I can think about is her. That must mean something. I want HER to be here with me, during what could be my last day or the first of a new chapter.

If it really is I know that I never want Kyanite to be seperated from me again. I long for her to be near me so much. Never before have I felt the need to share everything with somebody more than her. Never before have I put myself in harms way for a girl. This must mean something.

--
After some tests in the morning and another x-ray the male nurse who is just finishing his shift approaches the group of three who spent the whole night in the hallway and offers them a smile.
"There's a coffee machine down the hall."
He stops in front of them and adds.
"We just ran some tests. For now things are looking better. You can have a few minutes each but try to keep it short."

[*]

Something strange about this girl showing up has me very curious. Almost to the point, that I almost consider just flat out asking who she is and how she even knows Matthew. I wouldn't call it a jealousy thing, but its more of a concern because I don't recall him ever saying anything about any other girls at the training center or the academy. Unless, she is from the academy? Perhaps, someone new that caught wind of the whole situation and is here to report to the facility how one of their cadets are doing after what went down at the gym. When the information is given that I don't know what's going on with him because of a blood related issue, that's when she tells me who she really is.

Her name is Trinity. His sister?

My mouth drops a little as I think I may have heard wrong. She's only here because his father couldn't be reached. That would explain why me and Jeran are the only ones out here waiting on him to pull through the night. All of this is because of me. Why he's in the hospital and why the person that shunned him from childhood is standing right here. Is it that bad that she had to be called? He is dying, isn't he? My fears are highened now. My chest pulls tightly and I choke back a sob that's threatening to tear loose. She claims that she's going to go and find out some information on her brother as I'm left dumbstruck to the situation. The moment she walks away, my breath leaves me. I can't seem to concentrate at all. My eyes glaze over as I stare at the ground in disbelief. He's dying. Matthew is dying...

The essence of guilt rides up in me so much, I feel like I'm drowing in sorrow. The emotion is pulling me under so much that I wish at this moment I could just belt out the highest pitch scream I can muster until I lose my voice and consciouness. I don't want this to happen. Of all people, I can't lose him.

I turn to Jeran and instantly just let my head lean into his sleeping form. I feel completely lost right now. Lost and confused and utterly terrified since they called someone in his family that has had no use for him since they were young. She's the one who walked out on him as a kid; her and her mother. It's their fault that his father is so against me and Matthew being together. That's why his upbringing has had him turned against girls in general and how hard I had fought to have Matthew in my life and now that he's finally allowing me the pleasure of having him as a boyfriend to more than a hidden relationship, I'm afraid I'm going to lose him to who just showed up.

She returns a few minutes later, and I can see how distraught she looks now. Not like she's going to cry, but just from the bad news in itself. I shake my head in responce to her look. "is he?" I begin to ask but she starts talking and my ears prickle to her every word. I give her a subtle nod when she asks if I want to know.

Everything halts for a moment when someone rushes into Matthew's room and I move to get up from the chair. My head swims but I only get a step away from the chairs as I become glued to where I stand. My legs feel absolutely heavy until the man walks out of his room and walks calmly away. Everything must be fine now cause the girl in front of me starts to tell me what's wrong with Matthew. I only nod at some parts and just let it sink in.

"What on earth happened, do you know?" Where do I begin? Where would I start in order to make myself not seem like the one that practically stabbed him myself? If he had never gotten to know me, all of this could have been avoided.

"Matthew was protecting me. Called in from the peacekeeper academy when I needed help. Saved my life. Him and the lot that came." Instantly my hand goes up to my throat just to lay my palm on the naked skin that my shirt doesn't cover. I breath lightly, my flittering heart starting to calm from seeing that nurse walk into his room.

"Why did you come for him, after all this time? You wouldn't be here unless he was worse off then what you're telling me." My accusations feels nothing like hatred. Just curiosity striking true because I just can't beleive she would show up for him when she has shunned him.

(Tis all I got time for. You can respond to this part if you wish and I'll catch up the rest when I get home! Eggh. Work!)

[Jack Lexington]

OOC: I can give you a brief response from Trin to work with but Matthew is practically half a day ahead of your already.

Once again pulling her jeans jacket closer around her slender form Trinity watches the nurse rush back and forth but then pays attention to the girl, who looks so broken up about her brothers fate.
She explains something about him saving her and the peace keeper academy. All this is news to her. Trinity had no idea that her brother of all people was trying to become a law enforcer.
“Matt’s becoming a peace keeper? Seriously? My brother has been in trouble from day one because of his shitty attitude and now he wants to be the guy who does it all right?” A snarl is leaving her mouth but then she quickly reminds herself where she is and that it might be a good place to keep down the attitude.
To think that Matthew actually helped a girl is as incredible as Santa coming down in person.
It had to have been because it was a call of duty. No questions asked.
Despite her obvious dislike for the younger sibling she can sense that the girl with the green and blue streaks on her neck is in true uproar. Maybe due to what happened, maybe due to feelings for him, who knows.
"Why did you come for him, after all this time? You wouldn't be here unless he was worse off then what you're telling me."
Her words show that she knows more about Trinity than any stranger would.
“That’s all they’re telling me. If you ask me bleeding into your chest sounds pretty serious to me.” For a moment she contemplates whether her brother might actually deserve this fate. Quickly she comes to the conclusion that nobody does. Not even him.
“Why do you care so much?” Assuming that the girl has just recently grown affection for her savior she adds. “Don’t worry too much about him. My brother doesn’t treat girls right. He’s not what you want, darling.” In this case Trinity actually cares about the other one. From her own experience Matt has been nothing but hurtful and respectless to her. No girl should have to go through that.
“I might sound harsh but I have my reasons. Seriously. He might have saved you but he doesn’t care about others. It was probably just a call of duty. “
Yet there’s an odd feeling in the pit of her stomach that makes her worry as well. What if he doesn’t pull through.

[*]

Sheer curiosity drives my need to know why his sister is here at the hospital. If he's really that bad off, then I really need to start falling to my knees and praying for healing cause if he were to die, everything he did to protect me will make for a horrible ending. I shake my head as she starts to tell me why she's here. Apparently, she had no use to lie to me as she tells me once again that the information is all she was given. My heart drops because they aren't even telling his own family what's going on fully.

"...If you ask me bleeding into your chest sounds pretty serious to me."[/b] She tells me. I wasn't there when it happened, but just thinking of the blade being pushed into his body, causing him this much suffering isn't going to go over well with his sister. I still dread her finding out it was because of the guy that had tortured me from childhood. I just can't bring myself to say it, but she's really got a grudge against Matthew for some reason. Her advice to me is that he disrespects people and girls. Your wrong. He's everything to me. Attitude and all. If you can't love someone for their faults, then you really shouldn't love them for their good alone. If only you knew how he is now. You'd see, he's changed.

"Why do you care so much?" Her question lingers in my head. I couldn't answer it a moment ago because she immediately went into this whole explaination about him not being good for me. So many times he's said that as well. Simple things like that he would never be the boyfriend that I would be proud of or that he wouldn't be the idea person to get to know. In all honestly, I've grown so fond of him. Everything about him, especially his faults. He has a lot of hidden emotions that I've found out. He is like wine. He matures and ages well over time.

"It wasn't just a call of duty. I'm his girlfriend." I state and turn away from her.

That was the last thing I can even say to her. Even through the night, Jeran's light snores lull me into a calmer state. I'm not sure why and any other time I would try to get him to stop with the noises, but just to hear him breathing is giving me hope that the next time I see Matthew, he'll be doing the same. Throughout the night, the halls become quiet. I watch his sister very faintly out of the corner of my eye but I don't look well enough to see if she's sleeping or not. I can't though. As heavy as my eyes are, I train them on the door.

Wishing.

Waiting.


As the morning draws near, I actually find myself drifting off into a very light slumber. My head swimming with images of Matthew. Some of those memories of the times we've been together. Especially last week, sleeping with him in his bed; curled up so close to him with his arms around me as we doze off into dreamland. Not a care in the world except being near each other. I even feel his breath on my neck as he sleeps. Little things like that have never seemed so massive before now. Never in a million years would I have expected this to have happened.

A gentle hand stirs me when a nurse comes walking to us, and Jeran coaxs me out of this good dream to meet eye to eye with the male nurse. I yawn, putting a hand over my mouth as he tells us three that there is coffee down the hall, but it don't interest me at all. What he says next is better than a present.

"Thank you." I immediately stand up and look to the door without even thinking that his sister might want to go inside first, but why would I give her that special priveledge when she probably don't even want to be here. Instead of waiting on her to flip a coin, I look to Jeran.

"Go get me a cup of coffee, please? You get one too." I offer it to him. My hand touches the door and slowly, I open it without knocking because I"m not sure if he's already drifted off into a sleep again. The darkness of the room makes it hard to see at first, but after taking two steps in, I hear the medical equipment beeping and see his form laying on the bed. I walk further in and stop by his bed. I can't help but just to look at him, so thankful that he's still alive. Please, heal, Matthew. Don't scare me like that again... I beg you.

I lightly touch his shoulder and when I do, I feel like breaking down to see him in this health. My head drops and I close my eyes and just let the warmth of his skin tell me that he's going to be okay.

[Jack Lexington]

After learning that things seem to be shaping up I instantly relaxed enough to catch up on all the sleep I've been missing.
That nourishing state doesn't last long because a gentle hand touches my shoulder waking me up. Instantly I think it's one of the staff here who's going to prod me more so I don't hold back the groan that easily flows from my lips when he or she makes me come to this unwanted aweful state again.

As my senses sharpen the stinging in my chest that gets provoked with every deeper breath I take becomes more prominent but as I open my eyes just a bit I also learn that I was wrong. It's not the staff but HER.

Instantly I reach out my right arm, that I've been laying on, to touch her arm. I want to feel her close and makes sure she stays now that she's here.
Her hand feels warm against the cool exposed skin of my shoulder. I concentrate on it for a moment until I open my eyes fully and look in her pale face with a small smile.
"Hey."
Kyanite looks aweful. Like she hasn't slept at all, which probably isn't advisable in her state. The fact that she cares so much about me is heart warming though. I'm pretty sure she stuck around the whole night.
"Still here?" I whisper but my voice cracks reminding me not to use it or I'll provoke more coughing so I close my eyes for a brief moment, then open them again to shift a little.
My right side is starting to hurt from laying on it.

Since there isn't much I can say I just let my eyes rest on her remembering all the things I was thinking the previous night. How she has become so important to me that she is the only one I really want with me at this crucial moment. That I've fought a maniac for a girl, which would have been unthinkable a year ago. That this must mean something.
My fingers weakly curl around her hair and carress it a little before I mouth. "I love you."

[*]

The moment my hand touches his skin, I can't help but try to compose myself. I stiffen up when I hear him groan, but I don't remove my hand. I can't because I feel like if I do, then this is only a dream and I'll wake up to bad news. Only then, does he slightly open his eyes as if the room is as bright as the sun. Only a tiny slit that I can see and he stirs just enough for me to feel nothing but absolute joy to see him awake. I wouldn't have guessed that he'd be ready for visitors, but as long as I can, I don't want to leave him.

He reaches out for me. His hand touches my arm and I choke back a sob. I don't want him to see me cry again, but I'm afraid I've lost all production to tears anyways. I'm more numb inside than to be able to release the physical appearance of sadness. Instead, a small smile appears to his acknowledgment that I'm here with him. Even his voice is music to my ears.

"Hi." I state back to him. That smile on his face is lifting though. Almost enough that I just want to express every emotion of joy I can, but I don't. He's weak. I scan him over. I look to every part of his face and then a little lower over his chest.

"Still here?"

I give him a subtle nod. "Never left. Even Jeran is here, but I think he's only here for the coffee." I try to give a small joke but my voice doesn't represent the joke well. It's only a mere statement as my hand travels from his shoulder up to his cheek where I let my thumb stroke his skin. My head shakes slowly as my eyes drop from him.

"You scared me." My voice is low for him, almost a whisper. I'm not sure if I'm scared that my voice might crack if I try to speak louder or if I'm going to rile him up if I speak louder. Any way I look at it, I'm just glad he isn't shoo'ing me out like that one time. This is the second time I've stayed up through the night for him in the hospital. Am I obsessed with making sure that he's okay? Why do I care this much about him to put myself through sleepless nights and shaking limbs?

I'm so thankful for him.

I open my eyes just in time to see him wrap his fingers around the strands of my own hair and I give off a sigh-like laugh. His mouth plays words on them and I catch them in time to see what he wants to say but can't.

"I love you, too, Matthew. Please, heal quickly." I make a small request of him and lean over to him. I let my forehead rest against his. My lips touch his cheek before I move up. I smile at him, truthfully for him to see. I smooth his hair down until my hand rests at his cheek once again. Gently, I sit on the very edge of the bed, careful not to jar him at all. "I'm so glad your okay. Just rest, alright? I'll be here whenever you need me."

[Jack Lexington]

My eyes are almost closing on me again because I'm so exhausted, emotionally mostly but also physically. The past 24 hours must have been the toughest of my life and even though I'm not in a world of pain thanks to the drugs the constant labored half breaths are so strenuous that I barely have the energy to lift my arm and caress Kyanites hair.

Yet the connection gives me what I need to get back a certain good perspective in this mess.

The look on her face gives away just how much she's struggling yet she manages to keep her tears and words under wraps. Instead there's an encouraging smile forming on her lips. This whole thing might have been as hard on her as it was on me because she's more emotional and compassionate than I am.
I can see her eyes scan my face, which makes me wonder just how bad I look. I guess the oxygen mask hides most of it.
But when her eyes fall on my chest I know she doesn't like what she sees because sheäs blaming everything on herself.

I lift my head off the pilow to see her a little better, then follow her gaze to the small white bandage that's been taped just under my last ribs a little off to the right. It doesn't look bad at all. The small red sprinkles that are still on the bed sheet give away just how close of a call it was though.

It still scares me to no end. One wrong move and I'll be back to coughing up blood. So I let my head sink back against the pillow and listen to her.
"Never left. Even Jeran is here, but I think he's only here for the coffee."
That's a surprise. Who would have thought that her brother cared enough to support her...that's what I'm guessing he's doing cause he clearly wouldn't come for me.
A small smile hints that I appreciate the joke that's supposed to lighten the mood.
Come to think of it. I haven't drunk or eaten anything for a whole day. I'm really hungry but in no mood to ask for food.

I search her face with now fully opened eyes because I don't want to miss the brief time she'll be here. "You scared me." Kyanite looks brutally honest and I understand where she's coming from.
I scared myself...more than ever before.
"Me, too." There's no need to hide the fact that I got scared shitless as well.

Her eyes are closed when she speaks, which makes me wonder why she's letting all of this affect her so much. After all I'm alive, so is she and Gala and Jins resides in prison.
"It's all good." My voice is barely audible behind the plastic, which fogs up when I speak.

"I love you, too, Matthew. Please, heal quickly." Her forehead gently leans on mine. I feel her warm, soft skin. A few strands of her dark hair dangle onto my face. We're so close now that I can feel the warmth radiate of her skin. I want to embrace her. What can it hurt? So I lift my left arm and place my hand on her back. There's such a sincere deep connection I feel now. I hope she can feel it, too.
Unlike the first time when I fought and lost I need her to stay with me. I'm not ashamed anymore, nor am I afraid to show her my true face. Somehow I'm ready to really let her in now.

Her hand tries to put some order in my hair but all I feel is that gentle touch. It's soothing.
"I'm so glad your okay. Just rest, alright? I'll be here whenever you need me."
I close my eyes to take in the feeling more and nod. It's like I can reply on her to watch my back.
Then I pull the mask from my face to briefly share a kiss with her. I hope it's not the last one but I feel like I need it right now.
My lips feel so rough against hers but I'm pretty sure Kyanite doesn't mind.
Once more I open my eyes to look into hers that are now right above my face. I can see every darker speck of brown in them but mostly I can see the love in them.

[*]

Leaning my forehead against his, is the main component in our relationship. It's that simple touch. The simple breaths from each other that kisses our skin. The unspoken words. Just having these few moments with him has given me so much think about and feel. More and more, my heart is pulling for me to never leave his side while he's here. The first night, when I was admitted overnight, nightmares wanted to consume any amount of sleep I tried to get, so my eyes hardly closed. Last night, I couldn't sleep due to the fact that I didn't know if he would pull out of this dire situation. Tonight scares me to no end to try to sleep. What will I be given? Nightmares or dreams? Matthew's death or Jins' face? I'm scared to go to sleep now.

Something interrupts my thoughts as I feel his hand touch my back gently, and so slowly as well. Weakness has overtaken him. Two days he's been in here and he's weakened so much by that wound. Yet, his hand reaches my back, and his fingers curve slightly onto my back. A weak laugh comes out as I give him a smile. It's taking him so much strength do just this one simple task. I nod to him. I can't help but to have this overwhelming sensation to just curl up next to him and to pull him into my arms and let his head rest in my arms. I would like for that to happen, but I simply can't find the means to. To move or jar him from where he lays would only cause him pain. He looks uncomfortable but with the tubing and wires that come from his body is still daunting to myself.

As if I try to give him just the littlest amount of tender care, I smooth out his hair, just trying to comfort him the best I can. He closes his eyes, taking in this feeling that I'm giving him. Showing him that I don't just want to check on his well being and then leave. I'm here for the long haul.

As the seconds on the clock tick by, he suddenly removes the mask that covers his nose and mouth. At first, I feel scared but when I see why he has removed his oxygen mask, I take the kiss with gentleness. His lips feel so rough against my own, but it's probably from the lack of water. Even as the kiss breaks, I don't dare move, but stare into his eyes as much as he's looking into my own.

"You are going to be fine, Matthew." I state. Nothing but confidence and a 'I know it' attitude comes out in such a soft and gentle whisper for him to hear. As I lean up from that much needed kiss, I take the notion to put the oxygen mask back over his nose, but I don't dare move from his side. Instead, I want nothing more than to just get lost in time with him. I reach out for his hand, and pulling it up to my embrace to keep him close. Kissing the back of his hand, I hold it nearer to my heart a moment later.

[Jack Lexington]

For a brief but valuable moment our lips lock. It's like an infusion of hope coming from that connection. I really need it...her right now.
Her words add to that feeling. "You are going to be fine, Matthew."
I'm not sure how she would know but I want to believe her. It sounds much better than the doctors telling me. 'Don't move or we'll have to cut you open to stop the bleeding.'
"Yes." I whisper and accept the mask she's putting back on.
Her hand pulls mine close before she kisses my skin.

My breaths still feel labored while a constant wheezing is accompanying them. I know I should lay on my side but it already hurts and my arm is numb. Plus the tube is very uncomfortable so I slowly roll onto my back. It's even a little harder to breath now but at least my side relaxes.

I truly hates this. I don't want to lay still or be afraid anymore but I have no choice so her presence is the only positive thing to focus on but before we both know it one of the nurses comes in and gives her a nod.
"Time to go. Come back later this afternoon."

I hate to see her leave but I the nurse is adament about shoeing her out. Maybe it's better because I'm incredibly exhausted and just want to sleep through the worst if I can.
"It's okay." A weak smile let's her know I'm good but at the same moment my roughed up lung contracts and I cough again. Never before has coughing been as feared as it is now. So I choke down most of it and hope they'll bring me some water before my girlfriend (and me) can freak out.

Outside Trinity is already pacing the floor. She's undecided whether she even wants to see her brother or whether it's a good idea at all. After making a call home to her father she sits down next to the dark haired man who had been waiting with the girl all night.
"What a mess. I'm Trinity, hi!" She offers her hand to the young man and a smile on top of that.
"Are you one of Matt's friends?"

[*]

Sitting with Matthew has to be the hardest thing I've had to do in a while. Watching him be in so much pain, even if he doesn't say it. I just know that the pain has to be there especially when it comes from Jins. That in itself, is the major thing. When I was younger, it was traumatic to be targeted, but eventually, I grew used to it. Almost to the point of not caring anymore and I learned that the wounds would always heal, but this isn't like those wounds. This time, it's cut me somewhere that I can't recover from. My heart. My boyfriend who has taken so much heat for me just because he's with me. Then there was Gala. I keep his hand closer to my body, kissing his hand. There's nothing more that I want but his life and healing.

He accepts the mask so willingly as I place it back over his nose. As the oxygen begins its treatment again, I watch as his breath fogs up the mask and a moment later, is clear. He adjusts himself to be more comfortable. As if this moment couldn't get worse, a nurse walks in only moments after our brief kiss. I don't understand why they want to torture me by interrupting us, but she does and not only that, she declares for me to come back later.

"Can I just stay out in the hallway?" I ask her, but turn my attention back ot Matthew who says that it's okay. At least if I have to leave, it's better to have those words from Matthew to tell me to go rather than a nurse who has no feelings whatsoever for what's going on between us and the situation that put us in this place. His last request to me has him choking up.

"Calm down, Matthew... please? Shh." I try to coax him into relaxing but in the hospital of all places, whose to say anyone can really relax? Not in his condition, but as the nurse begins assesments on Matthew, I know my time is limited for real. It's not like they will just let me sit in her by his bedside. He needs his rest. Uninterrupted rest is what his prescription will be. It also slips my mind who else is waiting outside to see him and the words never cross my mouth. I know what his views are on his sister and I don't plan on getting him all riled up for something like that. No. I keep my mouth shut on that. I stand up, keeping my fingers wrapped around his.

The last moments for a few hours at least.

"I'll be here, okay? You sleep. I'll try to do the same, okay?" I lean over, letting my lips touch his forehead and stay there for a few moments, but this departure has my emotions breaking a dam. Without wanting him to see, I wipe vigorously at my eyes before he can see me. "Love you! I'll be back."

With that, I glance at him once more as I exit the room, shutting the door behind me. The girl has taken my seat beside Jeran and I stare at him then her. "He's going to sleep. The nurse said to come back this afternoon to see him again. He's wore out." Again, my fingers find the falling tears as I walk back over to Jeran. I'm not sure what their conversation was about, but I have no intentions of letting her warp his mind with stories or idle thoughts of concern. "Can we go home for a few minutes Jeran? I would like to get a change of clothes, please?" I ask and he looks to Trinity.

"It was nice talking to you. I hope your brother gets better soon." He tells her and stands up and walks over to me. His eyes flash over her once more before he puts his hand on the small of my back in order to tell me that we're going. I follow his lead and we leave the girl sitting there in front of Matthew's room. I dont' plan on being gone for long, but just enough time to refresh myself and get back.