New Hobby (Stallion and Beck )

[Knuckles]

It's strange standing here offering a decent board to a guy I just met. It's the best possibility of the day knowing he seems interested. I shrug my shoulders slightly. Tomorrow is a busy surf day, so maybe the shops aren't busy- maybe he'd be willing to go into the square and look. "We can go into the shops if you'd like. Maybe you can find a nice board there." I've never been one to really teach people about surfing because I learned from a young age, but it doesn't hurt to try. I take a deep breath before looking around the room again. I look at my board sitting on the table as a huge grin grows wider and wider. Smiling is easy when my mind wonders free, but my mind can suddenly change taking me towards the death of my parents. I was so young, so innocent, I didn't know what death really was. "It might not be that busy today, but we can always go take a look."

Why would anyone want me to teach them to surf? I'm just a peasant in the world. Normally the house is booming right now, but knowing that everyone is off doing their down thing makes my life easier. I could use this time to prepare a meal for them all, but someone wants me to be a teacher. It's hard knowing that I have so much to do before the big surf day tomorrow- I've been waiting since the last day passed. I run my hand along my chin before moving my hand towards my hair. I'm dying for the water to pour upon it. I'm dying for everything to happen because it's the way of life. It's all I know- and it's the best thing in the world.

My eyes flash around the room today looking at my board and looking at the board he's holding. Nothing isn't easy around here, and I'm glad for the chance to talk to someone, but I don't want to push him away. It's an amazing feeling knowing that someone wants to be interested in what I know. I take a small step backwards before looking at him again. He seems like one that would be good at surfing, but I can never really tell until we are riding the waves. I'm always looking for large waves, but it's best to start small. "What do you say about going to look for a board?" It doesn't have to be the best board, but any board will work as long as it's one that he likes because he's the one that will be riding it.

[ghostsprincess]

---

  I pause a moment as I consider the fact that might have to take time to go get supplies as well as surfing time, something I hadnt actually took into account before when I had thought about taking up this hobby. I had always put work first, as it was what originally got me out of my house; something I had been trying to do for years and years before. As long as I remembered I always hated it there, and Im sure even before I was conscious of my hatred for living there; I was hated for simply being there. My mind has quickly slipped off into the past, lately I had been getting better, but before I would do this a few times a week or even a day when I first left.Now I was standing in his kitchen, but my mind wasnt there. I had wondered off to another deep, scary placed locked deep in my mind; one that had been deep seated there by my father ever since I was born.
    I knew I had been a mistake, believe me, he had told me more than once before and then I had committed his ultimate sin; I had killed the woman he loved. In being born, I was already earmarked for all his hatred and stress to be let out on. I tried my best to always be the best I could be, but it never stopped the harsh blows seeming to rain upon me daily. This is how I was standing now, unaware that I was simply staring off into space; my eyes almost glazed over as my body tenses. Flashes of screams and the blows that followed had me stock froze still in mid conversation. Normally it took a little shaking or a yell of my name to snap me back out of it. I had tried my best to hide it all from my friends and still yet, it slipped in sometimes when I least expected it.So now this froze me in his sight, I couldnt think of how I looked and therefore was completely oblivious to Stallion. 

---

[Knuckles]

Sometimes life just feels like the weight of the world comes crumbling down upon my tiny shoulders snapping the thread of reality holding me the sanity, but today it's different. A strange calm sweeps over my shoulders bringing a smile to my face because today is like a day I can make a friend for the first time ever in my entire life. He seems interested in something I enjoy, and that makes all the difference. It helps my life to move smoothly as it's been so long since a true friend has stepped before my eyes. Here, standing in the kitchen with a couple surfboards hanging around one being my own that I just completely waxed in preparation for the season, and the other for this guy, Beck, for him to borrow until he can get his own.

It's been a while since anyone other than my family has entered the house. It's impossible to know what's going on in the outside world. Perhaps if I spent my time fishing instead of surfing, my life would be extremely easy, yet it seems like that is just impossible. My eyes gaze back towards Beck wondering why he'd want to hang out with someone like me. It's been so long since life has been worth living, I may drag him down with me, yet here he is. Something seems off though because he's not responding to anything I just said. Instead, he's staring straight off into space. He's looking past the walls towards something invisible towards my own eye. My weight shifts uneasily as my eyes glance around the room trying to figure out what he could possibly be looking at. I don't see anything at all. I inhale slowly holding my breath as long as I possibly can before walking closer to him.

"Hey." My voice is quiet not really wanting to disturb him because he seems deep in thought, like something is wrong. "Are you alright?" I walk around him waving my hand in front of his face- usually that works for others. My weight continues to shift uneasy wondering what's going on. Maybe I offended him somehow. My mind races thinking of everything I had said hasn't said anything wrong except offering him the board to keep. I take a deep breath before walking over towards the sink. My eyes glare out the window then down to the sink, and a large grin plasters against my face.

[ghostsprincess]

---

    As soon as his hand was waved, I jump as I snap back into reality again. Although I shiver when I come out of my trance like state, I felt a sudden rush of heat to my cheeks as I realize what I have done in front of him. I had just blanked out like nothing and fallen slightly , not to mention I was now blushing like a girl.I was embarrassed that I had lost it so quickly and easily, I had relaxed  little to much now. So now, I rub the back of my neck and fidget as I try to stutter over my words and  explain " I-I-I'm sorry Stallion... I do that sometimes." Now I look back at my feet, shuffling the board in my arms slightly.
   Then I try and play it off, saying as I dare to make eye contact with him again, as my eyes had dropped to the floor in shame before " Yeah,er, we can go whenever you want to go board shopping?"I was now afraid Id messed all this up again and would now lose my soon to be mentor in the world of surfing. 

---

[Knuckles]

At first, I didn't think he was going to move. He stood there staring into nothingness. I have no idea what he's looking at, or what he's even thinking of- it's none of my business anyway, but I can't help but worry. Many times people stare off when something is going wrong, yet nothing was said to send the guy into this state. It's like he's gone, trapped, from reality when that's what I need. Sometimes, I tend to run people away, and that's not what I want. It's against my wildest dreams to press someone away from my life, especially one that I may eventually consider a friend.

Watching as he returns to reality, it's hard not to chuckle silently to myself. If I had a fish for every time I've seen that happen, I would have more fish than I would know what to do with. Sometimes, staring off into space beyond the depths of reality is an escape blocking the view of a painful moment trapped behind the eyes lurking in the shadows of every corner. My hands drop to my side as I look back at him. I try to place a smile on my face, yet today is hard to smile. My board isn't ready for the season, but helping him get ready for the season would be amazing because maybe I'd find a surf buddy. I can only hope that it's worth it. My weight shifts awkwardly as I stare from place to place wondering what could possibly go on.

"We can head out now if you'd like. Just, uh, leave that board here and if you don't find anything, we can come back here and you can borrow this one until you find one." Anything involving the waves is amazing. I can spend hours upon hours just watching the waves crash upon the beach as I travel ankle deep begging for the perfect wave to find. It's hard knowing that some people have no idea what it's like riding the waves with a huge grin as the wind blows through the hair. I can hear people chanting the name of their favorites as the waves come to an end. "I know the perfect shop where we can begin."

[ghostsprincess]

When I finally got my bearings again and locked my eyes back on Stallion; my head stopped swimming and my eyes had come back into focus.Now I was finally able to get back into the right frame of mind and understand what his looks were meaning. I felt sorry for him, being that he had to sit through what I had just done, I decided to apologize in saying " Erm, sorry about that Stallion...It happens sometimes." My hand then went back to toying with the edge of my shirt as my fingers finally broke through the thin patch of cloth on the hem; I mentally curse myself, trying to cover it up now as I shift and feel my cheeks beginning to flame red in embarrassment.This was usually the point that I would scurry away with a group of some of my gentler friends to calm down and know that they wouldnt make fun of me for this. However, now that I was with Stallion I felt ready to hide under a rock for the rest fo the day.
   However, now that he mentioned we could leave, I take the opportunity and carefully place the board on the edge of the table before leaving. it tried to hurry, but be careful and not hit the other board, or knock anything off the table. Soon my tall thin frame was out the door again, grabbing the handle of my cooler to roll along with us. I hadnt particularly wanted to bring it, but didnt see much more option as I didnt want to leave a smelly cooler at a house that wasnt mine to begin with.As I glance at Stallion, my eyes fall to my feet again, waiting on him to cross the thresh-hold so that we could leave with minimal embarrassment on my part.

[Knuckles]

It wasn't my intentions for this boy to become embarrassed. Things like that happen all the time, and there's nothing to worry about, yet watching him move around the way he does kind of makes me feel uncomfortable. I continue shifting my weight around on my feet watching him unsure of what his next move will be. It's interesting watching how fast he moves when the he hears the words we can leave and go shopping. Usually, shopping isn't on the top of my list, but this is board shopping, something I'm actually good at. He places the board on the table before he practically runs out the door. He must be really excited about shopping. He grabs his cooler and takes off before stopping on the other side waiting.

I move the boards on the table leaving them there not caring if any of the others come home. There's fresh fish for them in the refrigerator, so they have plenty to eat, but maybe they'll eat whatever they want. I grab a raggedy piece of paper from the counter and the pen that's always laying beside it.

Gone out. Fresh fish in the refrigerator if you want to eat it. Will be back later. I will put the boards up when I get home.
Stallion.

The letter falls out of my hand and lands on top the surf boards. I don't think anyone would look there, but it's worth a shot because maybe someone will know something is up. I take a deep breath before heading over to the door. I turn the lights off before turning the lock on the door. The door slams shut behind me as I walk towards Beck. I smile slightly before pointing the way towards the shops. I continue walking hoping that he's following me.

[ghostsprincess]

---

    I finally started calming down as we walked toward the board shop. I hadnt really thought about where he was leading me, but didnt much care as long as it gave me a little time outside. The outdoors usually made me relax and take it easier than my normally tight wound state; I always thought this was due to the fact it got me away from my father when I had been with him. Now I think it's just become a habit and part of my job as well, just making me all the more easy going outside. So as we walk along beside the water, I calm and just listen to the crunching of our footsteps on the gravel path towards town, and the gentle bumping of my coolers wheels.
    After a few more moments I finally ask " Where are we going ? I might need to wash up a bit."    
I knew that I was dirty, and probably smelled a bit like the marshes I was working in; earlier in the day of course.Most places I delivered to had a spigot out back, and I would wash there; but obliviously I hadnt had the chance to yet, and I was a slightly worried the owners of the shop wouldnt want me inside.

[Knuckles]

It's quite nice walking down the road listening to the waves crash upon the beach. I can't wait until the sun peaks into the horizon tomorrow so I can run away from the house and jump onto my board so I can enjoy riding the waves. It's the day my parents waited for, and growing up, I learned why they enjoyed waiting for it so much. Sometimes the biggest waves of the season can be seen on this day; I love the big waves because it's much more of a challenge. My eyes glare at the waves watching the over and over as I wish with everything inside me that I was in the water sitting on top of my board waiting for the perfect wave. I know tomorrow I'll be out in the beach prepared for the surf, but tomorrow seems so far away because it'll never come at all.

It's not until he speaks that I remember someone is with me. I never really had any plans on where to go because there's a couple of surf shops in the town. Usually, I don't worry about cleaning up. I just make sure I don't stink when I walk inside because some people might get offended. It's hard being nice to someone when they ask questions like that, but it'll be okay to be nice to him. He doesn't know anything about surfing, and I've agreed to help him. I agreed I would take him to the shops so he can find the board that he would use. Every surfer needs their own board no matter what. "Well, there's like three shops next to each other. All of them owned by the same guy. He's usually pretty nice. I just don't remember his name. He was good friends with my dad."

When I was younger, my dad would take me to the shops every day as we looked for the perfect starter board for me. He always welcomes me when I come into the store, but it's been so long since I've been there because it was something me and my father used to do all the time. He does have a water hose out back because a lot of people come in directly from the beach after a day of surfing. He won't mind if you use it." It's strange going there with someone because the last few times I came, I was alone because I swore to my father that I would return there if I had any problems. I look back at Beck wondering what made him want to surf, but I'm too afraid to ask.

[ghostsprincess]

---

     I watch and listen to him intently, now relaxed and talking to him again, as I had been before." Oh,well I that's good....Maybe he could give you a better price,huh?" referring back to what he had said about his Father knowing the man that owned the shop. I wasnt quite sure how that would work out, but I was willing to ask to save a little money. I had my eye on a house just down from Stallion's and it was on the beach , but also closer to the marshes; a little stretch from town, but the little house was cheap and better than my apartment.
    Then as he mentions I could wash up , I nod and smile slightly, knowing I wouldnt have to worry about dirtying someone else's shop up. Although, as he mentions the shop again, I couldnt help but think as to why a guy that knew his father would be running that. It seemed to me the surfers were usually younger, and no doubt that the shopkeeper would be a surfer himself. Surfing usually ends when they get a little older, or a few to many crashes under their belt. I figured this might be one of those old washed up surfers that ended up like this.
    As I think about this, I manage to keep my mind bakc to normal and listen to Stallion as he speaks; a sign I take as my little episode coming to a real end. Before, they seemed to have lingering effects, but maybe theyre starting to clear up for real. 

---

[Knuckles]

A day doesn't go by without thinking of my parents and wanting to make them proud. It seems it's impossible, but I know they wouldn't want me to stay inside all the time moping around because they are gone. They would want me to get out and surf, or just hang out in the sun for a bit. Today is one of those days. The sun is shining high in the sky reflecting off the crystal clear water in the beach. Every now and then a cloud will hide the sun casting a dark shadow upon the earth making a cool breeze fill the air. Sweat pours from my brow as step by step my feet drag against the sand. I love when the sand gets in between my toes. I run a hand through my hair before looking around wishing today was the season to surf.

"Yeah cheaper is always better." It doesn't mean much, but sometimes it's best telling people what they want to hear. My father's surf board isn't cheap, and it'll never be cheap. Nothing in the world will buy this board from me. "I like to save a bit of money when I can." My voice quiet as my head drops towards the ground. I never thought about saving money, and it's hard making money here in the district. Yeah, I survive, but it's not easy.

I lean forward grabbing a sea shell from the sand. It's white with a little bit of blue in it. I run my hand along the top of it nicking my finger in the process. A large smile grows on my face spreading from ear to ear. "Oh, how much do I owe you for the fish?" I ask suddenly. It's not like me to forget to pay for something, but we moved quickly. I toss the shell into the air laughing slightly. Mother always gathered sea shells, and this must be a sign from her that I am doing something right.

[ghostsprincess]

---

   I bite my lip as he mentions the fish and seafood, it was expensive, as fresh seafood always was. I hadnt thought to bring it up earlier and now it seemed a bit untimely to ask; so instead I propose a trade." How about we trade whatever I'll need for getting started on surfing for the fish and oysters?....And the lessons on a regular dinner every time I come ?"
    I knew this might help win him over, and save me a little more money for the house I was wanting. However, to this point I hadnt thought about how much easier it would be to surf once I was in the new house. I couldnt help but smile a bit to myself then, watching the sea shell he had tossed hit into the sand yet again. However, once I had looked at him again, I couldnt help but notice he was beginning to sweat after our easy walk up the beach.
    I knew I wasnt exactly the most muscular guy ever, but I was in better shape than him as I hadnt broken a sweat since earlier in the day when I was dragging in nets. I was somehow proud of this, even if it was just a small victory in my head, I couldnt help but think I could run a little farther, or pull a little more than he could. True, I was skinny and lanky, but I couldnt help but think that this muscular guy might not be as strong as he seems; now waiting on his reply as I watch his stride, my cooler still bouncin along behind us.
  

[Knuckles]

It's hot, very hot as the sun shines down upon my body scorching my skin to the bone. These are the types of days I would rather be swimming in the beach, and right now the water looks tempting. "Come to us Stallion. Come to us." The sound of my mother's voice rings through my head as my eyes fix upon the wave that's about to come crashing down. I want to go to them, to go home to them, but it's not my time. Deep in my mind I know I have a purpose of being alive, but it doesn't stop them from calling me. "We're waiting for you Stallion. We're waiting for you. Come and join us. We can all be together at last." As much as I miss my parents, dying without a cause would destroy me.

I love my parents, and being with them sounds perfect, yet going away isn't what my family, the Costello's, would want. It would be selfish to leave them behind after everything they've done to me. I take a slow deep breath trying to shift my eyes away from the wave. It's just like the wave that brought me back when I tried running away the first time. I want to come to you. I want to go home with you all, but I'm not ready. I can't leave yet. I just can't. "...And the lessons on a regular dinner every time I come ?"

My eyes turn towards him firmly as everything he said didn't register, and the last thing I want is for him to think I'm ignoring him. My heart jumps under my chest making it hard to breath, but I fight against it standing as normal as I would. I run my hand along my hair before looking the other direction. I quickly shake my head trying to think about what he just said, but it's no use. "I'm sorry. I didn't catch it all."


"Come to us Stallion. Ride the wave and you'll see us. Ride it home. We're waiting."

[ghostsprincess]

---

   I saw the glossy look in his eyes for a moment, my eyebrows furrowing as I ask " Are you okay?".I thought that possibly he was just a bit to hot, or feeling a little ill as to why he didnt understand me. So, I slow my strides a bit before repeating " I thought we could make a trade on the seafood instead?" pausing just a moment to see his reaction before adding " I would trade the seafood today for everything I needed to get started surfing, and then bring you dinner everyday that you gave me a lesson?"
      Now I was waiting on a response as we start to get into town. There were a few food places next to the beach now, and a small number of people still laying out on towels closer to the water than we happened to be walking. It would get a little more town like the farther we went down the beach, but our little town wasnt very large; rather it being a small fishing town like so many others dotting the coast. I was almost glad to go into town tonight, because we would see the large shrimping boats heading out for the night now; along with all the days catch being iced down at the docks.
      Before , I never really thought about getting a boat like this. Mine was a much small er, hand rowed john boat I used on the rivers. I suppose I could one day own one of the larger vessels, but that would be after I got my house and other affairs settled. So for now, I turn my attention back to Stallion, waiting on a response from my question.

---

[Knuckles]

Part of me wonders what life would be like if they were still here. Would they be out watching me surf the waves? Would they be cheering me on in life? Would they meet my friends with respect? Would they ride the waves with me? Honestly, I wouldn't know what to do if they were still here because they've been gone for so long. It's never smart thinking about the what if's though because they won't change anything, and truth be told; they could drive a person mad.

"Yeah, I'm alright." My eyes turn back to the wave as it crashes down upon the shore. It's not my time to go home to them yet, and hopefully my time won't be coming for a while. I have a life that's worth living, and I wouldn't lose anything for it. My family is amazing, and I love them, respect them, trust them with my entire life, but they aren't my real family. I kick a rock down the sandy road before turning away from the beach. His proposal is interesting, and it's an amazing one at that. In fact, I think it could work out. "Yeah, that's a great idea."

Finally, the shops are coming into sight. It's not much, but it allows the chance to go shopping. The walls of the shops are ragged like too many waves have crashed down upon it. I feel like if I touched the boards they would fall apart. It's beyond my wildest imagination of how it's even standing. I was here one day when a wave crashed upon it. For a brief moment, the thought of living fled my mind because I thought I was going to die. "There's the shops. Just out back over there." I point my finger in the direction behind the shops. "There's a place you can wash up. I'll be waiting up front here."

I move over in front of the shops leaning against the wall raising one foot into the air against the wall careful not to press too hard. I take a deep breath. Last time I was here I was getting my father's board fixed, and this guy did a good job. He's my dad's friend, and he's always waiting for me to return. Today I will see what he's up to and if he has any good deals for Beck.