Grilled [Imogen and Arroyo]

[grim.]

|Imogen Ynette|
|District Four|
|Sixteen|
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My face is fluster of a reddish pigment. I was lip locked with this boy, this boy that has made me feel a title wave of emotions. I was confused, but aware. I was afraid, but fearless, I was independent, but sheltered.

My train was swerving about my mind, no longer following its given tracks. In this singular moment, so much has changed. The world I know came crashing down in little more then a minute.

What was I doing? Kissing a boy I had only just met, I didn't know anything about him. I knew he made me feel safe, he made my chest ache. I wanted to stay, and let the palm of his hand hold me in his arms forever, but it just wasn't right.

This isn't how the world works. There was supposed to be security and order. This was the furthest thing from that, I had to end this. It was against every one of my morals, though you would think a girl like myself would have no morals.

I push my body away from his. I look into his eyes one last time, giving him a look that stood for my shame. Though I wasn't ashamed, I loved ever minute of our togetherness, but I couldn't let myself think that way.

I had to make my escape, there was no more stoking this fire. This was immature, stupid, How could I let myself get so blind sided? I feel my feet trudge through the ice cold sand. My toes sinking with each lunge. I had to get home, I wanted to get home. 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"I've cried, and you'd think I'd be better for it, but the sadness just sleeps, and it stays in my spine, reminding me of the day, that I could no longer call you mine."

[Will]

She pulls away. I look at her confoundedly. Why did she stop? The moment was so perfect. There was so much build up to the kiss. That's what everyone wants, right? The kiss that resolves all tension. But it appears that this kiss didn't resolve the tension. It appears that the kiss only built upon the existing tension. Crushing us under its weight. Her face is full of tension. Full of emotions. I can't quite tell what they are, but I know she's upset. I know she's conflicted. I want to tell her something. Something to make her stay because that's all I want right now. But I can't. I can't think of anything that could possibly make her stay with me. But before I can even give the question more thought, she's up and fleeing. She's gone. She left. So suddenly, so abruptly. Now it's just me. All alone. On the sand of the slowly darkening beach. The fire slowly dying. --one week later-- It's been a week. A whole week. I counted. You wanna know why I counted? Because I had nothing else to do. Not while I ate, not while I trained, not while I slept, not even while I was out with my friends. She was gone. She was gone and she was so perfect. And I ask myself why I think that now. Now when we were almost about to rip each other's throats out. Why would that one kiss change anything? Did tumbling down that hill flick a switch in our heads? Stir something free? Or push something down? Maybe she recovered quicker than I. After all, you can never tell who will heal faster. Usually it's surprising. Regardless, I just can't get her out of my head. She's there and she won't leave. But I have to get it into my head that she already has. She came out of nowhere, and then she went right back into it. And I don't understand how that can happen. But things happen for a reason. I just need to figure this one out. I sit down on the beach again in our spot. The spot that we kissed in. And I just stare out at the ocean. That's what I do now. I don't chase the sun. There's something else to chase now.

credit to will

[grim.]

|Imogen Ynette|
|District Four|
|Sixteen|
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It had been seven days.

Seven days since I had looked into his eyes, seven days since I felt his silky hair caught between the creases of my fingers, and seven days since I had kissed the boy I love.

Over this past week, there wasn't a moment, that he wasn't tucked away somewhere in the back of my mind. He was completely legible in ever aspect of my day. I came to terms with my feelings, I loved him, there was no doubting myself any longer.

How someone could feel that kind of vulnerability in an instant, was beyond me, but it had happened. How cliche is it to think, love at first site is real? I wanted to gag myself, I sounded like an idiot school girl. "I found a boy, he is everything to me" they would say. I was different, I didn't need a boy to make me feel security, I simply needed...him.

I rubbed my hand along the hip he had held so tenderly. I missed its present, I wanted nothing more then for it to rest there again. I envisioned the softness of his plump lips, the firmness of his back. The strength in his eyes, but at the same time, the weakness.

I wanted to be there to nurture him, I wanted to be there for as long as he would let me. I couldn't wait any longer for him to pass my way. What if  I don't ever see him again? I was too afraid to find myself back at that beach, but tonight I was going to feel the sensation of the sand beneath my feet. Inhale the salty mist of the ocean, and in luck, meet with the boy I had missed so much.

His name rattled through my head, my mind drawing the letter shaped in my mind. Roy...

The day was ending and night was falling near. I found myself sprinting to the spot were the kiss had happened. I was determined to find him, no more running away.

The peak of the hill was now in my view, when I reach the top of the hill, I feel myself afraid to look over. What if he wasn't there? What if he never wanted to see me again? I had left him alone with no explanation.

As I look over the edge my throat stiffens, my eyes falter, and my heart pounds against my rib cage. There he was, sitting in the exact spot where our lips touched for the first time. I was afraid he would turn around, but I wanted nothing more then for him to turn around.

I gently slide down the hills side, using my hands to keep me from falling. I didn't want him to hear me coming. What would I say if he saw me? Before I can reach the bottom of the hill, a large pile of sand slips from under my foot. Pushing it toward him, he was going to turn around, why wouldn't he?

My breathe sharpens, and I feel a burning sensation in my chest. "Hi" I manage to whisper. I avoided making eye contact for fear of what was next. Would he want me? I stand there breathless, my gaze meeting the sandy terrain below me. This moment was the answer I had been waiting for, the sum of my current emotions.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"I've cried, and you'd think I'd be better for it, but the sadness just sleeps, and it stays in my spine, reminding me of the day, that I could no longer call you mine."

[Will]

A scuffle in the sand. It could just be a seagull. A crab. A little mouse who accidentally found itself in the sand and not on the solid ground. It could be anything, really. It could be a murderer. Someone who's come to finish me off, for whatever reason they may have had. Why does my mind always think of that? I'm sure there will never ever be a murderer coming after me, but my subconscious insists that one will. And the pressure from the fear that begins to trickle into my bloodstream is too much to not turn. But as I do turn, I hear a voice squeak, "Hi." I finish my turn and it's the girl. Imogen. That was her name. It hit me. It hit me now, a week later. A week later of me daydreaming about her. Only now, seeing her, and hearing her voice did I remember her name. Strange how stuff like that happens. She doesn't look at me. She looks at the ground. As if she doesn't even want to see me. As if she's accidentally run into me after a breakup. Or maybe, just maybe, she came here to sit and reminisce of our kiss. One whole week before. That inexplicable, improbable kiss. I can feel so much welling up inside of me. I feel anger. Anger because how dare she have the nerve to come up and talk to me after abandoning me with not even a word as to why. Betrayal. Betrayal because I thought something was there, when now there seemingly wasn't. I felt happiness, because I see her. I see Imogen standing there in front of me. She looks so beautiful and so happy. Which brings me to gratitude. I was allowed a second chance. A second chance to talk to her, maybe win her back. See if she missed me, too. But I also feel sadness and anxiety, because what if she doesn't want me back. What if this really was just an awkward coincidence. And then too many emotions bubble to my surface to distinguish them individually. I'd need more time, which is not something you get when it comes to feelings. I stare at her, and then slowly rise. Every fiber of my entire body wants me to run to her, but my head is smart. My head is more powerful. It tells me to run away from her. But I don't do either. I compromise. I stand there, like a bafoon. But will not dignify her presence with a response. I'll wait for her to say something else. Because she owes me that. She owes me that much. And I don't know who I am deciding who owes who what, but I am. Right now in this moment. So I just stare at her eyes, which are as of this moment, averted to the pasty yellow soil, which is also grainy and sifts around your feet and body at every single movement. I let the salty, ocean air sting my nose and mouth, blast into my ears. Because the sound of wind is preferable to the sound of silence. At least on land.

credit to will

[grim.]

|Imogen Ynette|
|District Four|
|Sixteen|
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His body rises from the ground below him, and my heart sinks. He was the boy that was stuck on my mind for the past seven days, the boy who hasn't left my dreams for a single moment. I keep my gaze looking low, I couldn't tell if he was angry, if he was upset. I was to much of a coward to read his eyes.

Not a single word slips from the clutches of his lips. He just stands and stares. I deserved this, this in verbal form of abuse. I had abandon him, left his heart to bleed, and without a single explanation. I was cruel, I was unworthy.

I forced myself to wait for longer, maybe he would break, but there I go again. Forcing him to have to be the one to suffer. What is wrong with me? I have never felt so vulnerable, so unwanted. I was a thief, a thief to his right of the truth.

What was that saying? It only takes a few seconds of courage to change the future. I was going to change my future. I wanted him to be my future, I wanted him to be my forever.

I count down from five in my head. At zero I was going to change everything. There was no way to know if it would change for the better, or land my heart painted with the colors of black and blue, drowning in the sulk of my stomach.

I look into his eyes, and I almost give in, but I cant, this was my only chance. I throw my body forward, wrapping my hands around the peak of his neck. Forcing my abdomen into his, pressing my face forward, and trying to ignite the spark. Our lips touch again, for the first time in a long time.

I felt his mouth once more connected with mine, and it felt just how I had remembered it. I pull off for a slight moment, leaving my hands around his neck. "I had to try it just once more, I had to know that what I was feeling was legitimate. And I have to know if you feel the same." I whimper.

I could barely hold back the tears brimming from my lower lids. They wanted to flow, and I wanted to let them. What if he says no? what if he pushes me away? I don't know how I would react, he meant so much to me in such a short amount of time.

The predator has fallen for the prey. Only I was the predator, and he the prey. When my eyes first landed upon this boy, I wanted to feast on the enjoyment of his embarrassment. I wanted to crush him beneath my ego, but now he has me trapped. Whirling through a vortex of emotion, and he is the center.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"I've cried, and you'd think I'd be better for it, but the sadness just sleeps, and it stays in my spine, reminding me of the day, that I could no longer call you mine."

[Will]

She kisses me. I have no time to react, her hands wrapping around my neck, face fast approaching. I saw it coming, but I froze up. Exactly the opposite of what we're supposed to do. Before I know it her lips are pressed passionately against mine. There are still sparks. Hundreds of them. Thousands of them. Millions, even. Billions? All I know is I definitely am still attracted to her. And that's not helpful. Not right now. I can already tell this will be a rocky relationship if I end up not being able to control myself. We've already gotten into a fist fight and then ignored each other for a week. I don't even think we've had a real conversation with one another. No, we didn't. I only know her for her kissing ability and her flight risk. So far that's an impression that is leaving my brain in a frenzy. Should I stay, should I leave, should I just let whatever happens happens? She pulls away. I didn't kiss back. I had to force myself not to. I couldn't. If I kissed back, she'd have dominance in the relationship before it even started. If it started. And nobody in a relationship is supposed to be dominant. I'm not sure how my face looked, but I'm sure it was impossible to read because I can't even tell what I'm feeling right now. Rage or passion? Both? Then she says something, something that fuels my rage. It overpowers my passion and crushes it like a crippled fly beneath a heavy army boot. "I had to try it just once more, I had to know that what I was feeling was legitimate. And I have to know if you feel the same." Who does Imogen think she is? We barely know one another and she's already committed so many trespasses against me that if I wasn't attracted to her, I would've already pushed her out and far away from my life. I don't know why this was the tipping point. The part that filled me with a fire that had nothing to do with love. A fire fueled by the sin within. I do feel the same. Of course I feel the same. If anyone else had just kissed me after avoiding me for a week I would've knocked them out cold and tossed them into the ocean for being so wretched. I'm so attracted to her I don't even know how it's possible. But at the very same time, I don't want to be. It takes so much brain power to just keep myself from latching onto her, and I don't think there's too much left for forcing myself to stop being attracted to her. And what's this whole business with she had to try it again? Who does she think she is using my body to fulfill her needs. I don't have to let her use it if I don't want to. I just can't hold this all in. Not now, and I certainly won't be able to later because it just keeps building and building, burning and burning inside of me. It claws and vies to leave my body, rips through my organs and muscles, held back by my skin and lips. The thinnest, weakest barriers against emotion. My skin turns red trying to fight the fire back, my lips quiver as hateful words batter and hack against it with their vicious intentions. And I let some pour out. More came out than I expected, forcing its way out before I could shut my mouth again. It makes me feel better for just a second before I regret it. I can't be waspish, it's not a good thing. It couldn't have made Imogen feel very good. But it's too late, the words had already left and were vibrating through the air, "Who do you think you are? Who do you think you are using me and pulling at me like I'm some toy?!"

credit to will