shop at impulse till you have no pulse! {mallrats vs. wppa}

[sbeeg]

What are fights?

Do we engage in them from a since of instinct? Are they inevitable?

From birth do we hunger to taste blood and rip flesh?

Is it something that can be stopped?

Or an endless cycle over and over again.

Birth, life, death.

I wish they taught this all in a class

for i am but a humble bird with an ass


[attacks wink with flail]
r0lel||Es3flail
[Gash/Bruised Right Hand -- 3.0 damage]

flail

[lance]

BRUH

Nooooo, my chest, my chest, my glorious pecs! Sad days.

Death is on the menu, that's for sure. But it's looking more and more like my death. And that's not cool. Bruh.

:bruh: attacks nonchalant, knife

T_p8WGjr_Vknife

2103 -- Shallow Cut on Stomach -- 4.0 damage

knife

[Lyn𝛿is]

"Whistle, are you there?"

Wig's voice comes to it over the walkie talkie as they begin to sing.

"Yeah," shouts back. There's a little blood on its emoji frame, now, and it isn't quite as nonchalant anymore as it continues to appear.

"Just - a lil busy right now!" it grunts. "Taking care of a few people first "

[attacks bruh with spear]

rF_kGIHSGNspear

3003 -- Deep Gash on Right Forearm -- 8.0 damage
(Spear)spear

[alex 🐺]

“When I say whoa! … I mean whoa!” She watches the fight around her, every one her allies getting attacked. Bruh seems to be the worse off so she rushes to his side. 

”Oooooo! I’ll keelhaul you for this!”

[angryhowdy attacks nonchalant; knife]

Pmzvsnf18Rknife

[Miss - +0.0]

knife·knife

[napoleon, d2m ₊⊹ 🐁 ɢʀɪғғɪɴ.]

The shovel's iron bruises, but it does not kill. He needs the power of a snake's lilac venom, the speed of a scared raccoon, and the valor of a lion. So, he musters it all within his little amphibious body. 

“Die ! you ! little ! yellow creature !”

[ attacks surprised pika | blunt ]

|VFzr8r2v0blunt

7198 -- Bruised Right Femur -- 3.0 damage (Club or Blunt Weapon)

blunt

[d7f amber bosch 🌿 tris]

:wink:

I like to have fun. ;)

I don't like being hurt. ;(

"Take care of those pecs, bruh!"

__________

[wink attacks surprised pika; throwing knife #3]
DnoO03iDv5throwing knife
[Knife in Chest -- 7.0 damage]

throwing knife

[10th retro gm | paxton hayes]

noises. radios. other things talking.

not sure what this is.

not ready to say goodbye.

screeches.

:porg:

this weapon is heavy.

little wings flapping.

abort.

abort.

attack.


:porg: attacks {flailing} | axe
ELSHKbBJo7axe
{result: 11038 -- Miss -- 0.0 damage}

axe

[djed carnelian . d8m [kap]]

"Pika... CHU!!" I yelled. I really wanted to say "fuck you", but it seems that the language of a Pikachu censors him when he wishes to be colorful out loud. Damn it.



[:surprised_pikachu: attacks :bruh: with studded handbag (flail)]
ElpkNC0Tg8flail
[12038 -- Miss -- 0.0 damage
(Flail)]

flail

[sbeeg]

I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier
I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist
Like it doesn't exist
I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier


[attacks wink with flail]
DiTwXmac2iflail
[Bruised Right Arm -- 2.0 damage]

flail

[lance]

BRUH

Damn that's a lot of blood. And now it'll probably be sold as some unique potion somewhere because yay for capitalism amiright. Bruh.

But if I'm going down, I'm going down swingin', sugar.

But I really don't want to go down. Death is bruh. Life is not so bruh.

Maybe my luck will be better if I attack this one over here. He clearly misses me, anyway. Bruh.

:bruh: attacks pika, knife

jJu6WRkGINknife

result

knife

[Lyn𝛿is]

glares nonchalantly at the other emojis, and taunts them with the severed tongue of the dead NPC.
"Let's finish this, bruh"

[attacks bruh with spear]

sXnnYmv7y0spearspear

[alex 🐺]

“Stranger, you just yupped yourself into a hole in the head!”

Nobody hits her allies and lives to tell the tale.

[angryhowdy attacks nonchalant; knife]

XWYnnUxt4uknife

[damages]

knife

[napoleon, d2m ₊⊹ 🐁 ɢʀɪғғɪɴ.]

Chaos ensues and he catches Bruh getting hurt. Normally, it would be none of his business — but this is different.

“You are WEAK,” he says to Nonchalant.

Ironic, coming from himself. Oh, how the tables have turned. He raises the shovel to attack, but Alamo's arms are quicker than his spaghetti ones. One of them outstretches and there's a pause and then, crimson sprays out.

“UM, WERE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?”

Kerman does not wait for an answer. The world blurs as he hops away, scared. Who was the weakling now? 

[ flees ]

[d7f amber bosch 🌿 tris]

:wink:

I just realized bruh is ACTUALLY a gal pal.

Yeah, I know beggars can't be choosers, but I have an acquired taste.

"Kerman, wanna walk with me?"

Also, someone's dead.

I'm too busy being gay to care. ;)

__________

[wink flees the fight]

[10th retro gm | paxton hayes]

WHISTLE!

:porg: flails about unsure of what to do.

little tears stain the beautiful creature's eyes.

:porg: runs away without looking back.


:porg: flees