sunlight blooms from stone // ezra + cyro + nikolai // day 5
Jul 18, 2020 0:47:42 GMT -5
Post by goat on Jul 18, 2020 0:47:42 GMT -5
ezra valencia
You’re a killer now.
His knife had plunged into Cyro’s chest, and then the boy was falling, falling, and he didn’t get back up. Ezra stares down at the body— is it a body yet? When does a person become a body?— and feels bile rise up in his throat. He chokes it down, looking for something else to focus on instead, but all there is is blood, gore, old mementos, a sunflower with no petals, a weapon abandoned.
He did it. He killed someone. Not a mutt, a Capitol creation, no, a human being, somebody who came into this world the same way he did. Cyro had had a life. He had been a father, for fucks sake, and Ezra had killed him, because Cyro would have killed him first. That’s all it was, reactionary, an unfortunate chain of events. The ball had been set in motion the day of the reaping and it showed no signs of slowing down now.
“How'd you do that?”
Niko’s voice breaks the silence. Ezra can’t look at him. “I don't know,” he says, forcing the words out of his mouth, because he doesn’t, he doesn’t know. Cyro’s body just couldn’t take it anymore, and Ezra’s stab had been the final nail in the coffin.
“Do you feel different now?”
He appreciates how easy the words seem to flow from Niko’s mouth now. Any more silence and he thinks he would’ve lost it.
“Yeah,” he says, allowing himself to be honest with the other boy. “I feel like a monster. I can't come back from this.”
People don’t just kill once and then stop. That’s not how this works. They know that they can do it now, that they can get away with it, that anyone else in their way is fair game.
Ezra doesn’t want to be a killer, but this is the way things are now. He wouldn’t be able to take it back, even if he wanted to, and he doesn’t know if he wants to.
“My littlest sister doodles monsters in the margins of her notebooks sometimes. She swears some monsters are really nice if you just give them a chance.”
The words feel like a cold cup of tea. They’re supposed to be comforting, but instead it just sends an uncomfortable chill down your spine. “Do you wish you could take it back?” Niko continues, and Ezra turns his head to finally look at him.
“Do you think the person who killed me wishes they could take it back?” Ezra asks, knowing full well what the answer to his question is. “I don't know.”
He killed somebody, but he’s still alive. He died and he’s still alive. He’s starting to think, maybe he doesn’t have to die here, not again. Maybe he can fight like hell to make it out of here, to take this second life and make it actually mean something.
Maybe.
“Do you…” Niko shifts uncomfortably, his eyes darting from Ezra to Cyro and back again. “Do you need a hug?”
“No, but thank you.”
Niko moves closer anyway, his eyes still unsure where to look. “…can I have one?”
Well, there’s no point in being an asshole. He leans over and puts an arm around Niko’s shoulders, and all he can think is, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so goddamn sorry.
When he pulls away, Niko reaches into his pocket and returns with a folded note. He must have gotten a letter too. He holds it out, and Ezra takes it, letting his arm fall to his side.
Silence returns between them. Ezra knows what has to happen next. One of them has to die. Cyro wasn’t enough, the door hasn’t opened. He doesn’t want to do it again. Please, god, or whoever the hell is up there, please don’t make him do it again.
“Am I next?”
Ezra closes his eyes. “I think you have to be.”
[ ezra attacks niko; knife ]
qQXOnGmLFfknife
2007 -- Shallow Cut on Forehead -- 4.5 damage
His knife had plunged into Cyro’s chest, and then the boy was falling, falling, and he didn’t get back up. Ezra stares down at the body— is it a body yet? When does a person become a body?— and feels bile rise up in his throat. He chokes it down, looking for something else to focus on instead, but all there is is blood, gore, old mementos, a sunflower with no petals, a weapon abandoned.
He did it. He killed someone. Not a mutt, a Capitol creation, no, a human being, somebody who came into this world the same way he did. Cyro had had a life. He had been a father, for fucks sake, and Ezra had killed him, because Cyro would have killed him first. That’s all it was, reactionary, an unfortunate chain of events. The ball had been set in motion the day of the reaping and it showed no signs of slowing down now.
“How'd you do that?”
Niko’s voice breaks the silence. Ezra can’t look at him. “I don't know,” he says, forcing the words out of his mouth, because he doesn’t, he doesn’t know. Cyro’s body just couldn’t take it anymore, and Ezra’s stab had been the final nail in the coffin.
“Do you feel different now?”
He appreciates how easy the words seem to flow from Niko’s mouth now. Any more silence and he thinks he would’ve lost it.
“Yeah,” he says, allowing himself to be honest with the other boy. “I feel like a monster. I can't come back from this.”
People don’t just kill once and then stop. That’s not how this works. They know that they can do it now, that they can get away with it, that anyone else in their way is fair game.
Ezra doesn’t want to be a killer, but this is the way things are now. He wouldn’t be able to take it back, even if he wanted to, and he doesn’t know if he wants to.
“My littlest sister doodles monsters in the margins of her notebooks sometimes. She swears some monsters are really nice if you just give them a chance.”
The words feel like a cold cup of tea. They’re supposed to be comforting, but instead it just sends an uncomfortable chill down your spine. “Do you wish you could take it back?” Niko continues, and Ezra turns his head to finally look at him.
“Do you think the person who killed me wishes they could take it back?” Ezra asks, knowing full well what the answer to his question is. “I don't know.”
He killed somebody, but he’s still alive. He died and he’s still alive. He’s starting to think, maybe he doesn’t have to die here, not again. Maybe he can fight like hell to make it out of here, to take this second life and make it actually mean something.
Maybe.
“Do you…” Niko shifts uncomfortably, his eyes darting from Ezra to Cyro and back again. “Do you need a hug?”
“No, but thank you.”
Niko moves closer anyway, his eyes still unsure where to look. “…can I have one?”
Well, there’s no point in being an asshole. He leans over and puts an arm around Niko’s shoulders, and all he can think is, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so goddamn sorry.
When he pulls away, Niko reaches into his pocket and returns with a folded note. He must have gotten a letter too. He holds it out, and Ezra takes it, letting his arm fall to his side.
Silence returns between them. Ezra knows what has to happen next. One of them has to die. Cyro wasn’t enough, the door hasn’t opened. He doesn’t want to do it again. Please, god, or whoever the hell is up there, please don’t make him do it again.
“Am I next?”
Ezra closes his eyes. “I think you have to be.”
[ ezra attacks niko; knife ]
qQXOnGmLFfknife
2007 -- Shallow Cut on Forehead -- 4.5 damage
