anger and booze. — adrian and zedekiah

[kap]

zedekiah luna

---

---

what part

of living

Adrian mentioned to you that hand-to-hand combat wasn't his best, but that his worst was swimming, which surprised you a little bit. The guy was from District Four, and most people from Four were pretty strong swimmers. Although, you supposed there was always an exception to anything that you may have assumed to be 'typical' or even a 'rule'.

You nodded in response to what he was saying, and listened as he continued. He mentioned that speed and agility were more his thing, but offered to do hand-to-hand combat if that's what you wanted to do, given the fact that the two of you were just talking about some heavier stuff. You appreciated the offer of doing something he wasn't good at, but thought that perhaps you should learn something new for once.

"Maybe we can do an obstacle course or something, actually," you suggested. "I'd love to learn from you. Getting some new skills is always a good thing, if you ask me."

You gave him a smile. You didn't usually do things to challenge yourself, but it seemed like a good option today. For some reason, after talking to this guy and showing your emotionally vulnerable side, you were prepared to show a physically vulnerable aspect of yourself, too- agility. For some reason, agility was never really your thing.

Luckily, you do have quite a good amount of endurance, so if you had to keep trying over and over again at something to learn it, you could do it as much as you need to without tiring out too easily.

"We can head back into the training center and I'm sure that there's a way we can set something up for some sort of obstacle course or whatever." You mention. You hope he's on board, as it sounds like a good time to you.

says you

gotta die

---

---

table by arx
lyrics: "Adrenaline" by Shinedown

[Deleted]

YOU HAVE ALWAYS WORN YOUR
FLAWS UPON YOUR SLEEVE ―

Adrian was grateful. Far more grateful than Zed knew when he didn't say anything about Adrian being a shit swimmer. Yeah he knew the basics and even if waters got rough he could keep his head above water. But, that wasn't much compared to a lot of people in district four, especially careers. Though, he knew it was enough. After all, most districts were landlocked and a lot of people probably had no clue how to swim or even tread water. He knew exactly what he felt he needed to know.

He was overall glad he decided to take a chance on approaching Zed. Zedekiah was so different from his other friends, from Killua. They didn't often care about what Adrian wanted to do because he was just happy going along with what their plans were. They never thought to learn from Adrian. It made him feel valued. It was a really nice feeling. Right now? Right now he felt happier than he had in a while. It felt so nice to be treated as an equal. He loved hanging out with his friends and Killua especially, but sometimes he felt pushed to the side or ignored. He just never said anything about it.

Then he noticed something. Zed was smiling too. He wasn't sure if he'd ever seen Zedekiah smile unless he just won a fight. He almost said something about it. He wanted to say something about how he has a nice smile or he should smile more. But then he felt as though that wasn't his place. They were having a nice time and he didn't want to ruin it. Saying something would make him feel like one of the creepy guys who tell girls how they should smile. Zed had boundaries and he didn't want to cross those boundaries.

He nodded in response to the training center comment but then he smirked. He decided to tease him a little, nothing bad just a little friendly trash talk to get a little competition between the two of them for when they decided to do the obstacle course.

"Before we do this you should get a really good look at my face, take it all in. Because once we start all you're going to be seeing is my ass... unless you like seeing that of course."

He was joking, though he was still pretty sure that he was going to win. Zedekiah didn't seem particularly graceful and that was one of the things this type of training required. Speed and agility were important, but so were skills like being able to jump and land on your feet from a distance. Though, he wasn't going to count him out just yet. Hell, maybe he'd even go easy on him and let him get close to winning. He's such a nice guy.

ADRIAN NAVARRE

by sixsmith.

[kap]

zedekiah luna

---

---

what part

of living

You told yourself that there was no way in hell that Adrian was flirting with you, but it was hard to believe with what he said to you.

"Before we do this you should get a really good look at my face, take it all in. Because once we start all you're going to be seeing is my ass... unless you like seeing that of course." His words sounded like flirting, right? You certainly thought so. No, though, you had to be wrong. This guy liked someone else, not you. He'd told you himself. You pushed the thought out of your mind. You had to focus if you wanted to win at this obstacle course.

Although, it wasn't likely that you'd win anyway, as you weren't very agile, and your newfound friend Adrian seemed to have a lot of experience with these things. Nevertheless, even if a loss was inevitable, you'd try your best. You laughed a bit at what he said, but it was a nervous laugh. You hoped he couldn't tell that you felt a little awkward as you blushed at his comment. How noticeable was it? You hoped it wasn't too bad.

"Maybe you'll get the opportunity to see my ass instead. From what I've heard, that's a privilege." You let out a bit of a laugh when you say this. You were trying to be funny, but also subtly flirting as well. Was it wrong of you to try to flirt when you knew he wasn't interested in you? Probably, you figured. You should probably shut up and keep the talk focused on training.

"So, uh, are you ready? I'll count down for us and we'll go on 'one', alright?" you suggest to him.

"Three," you start, counting down somewhat slowly. "Two," you ready yourself. "One!" and you're off like a shot, or at least, as fast as you can go. You start trying to weave through the cones that are set up in front of you, but you're slower than you expected to be. Of course something as simple as this would hold you up. You were pathetic as usual.

No. You needed to stop thinking of yourself as pathetic and incapable. That's just what your father wanted. That's why he treated you the way he did. He wanted you to feel worthless.

You weren't worthless. You were priceless.

-----
387 words

says you

gotta die

---

---

table by arx
lyrics: "Adrenaline" by Shinedown

[Deleted]

YOU HAVE ALWAYS WORN YOUR
FLAWS UPON YOUR SLEEVE ―

Wait- was Zedekiah flirting with Adrian? That's when he realised it. The only reason Zed had flirted with him was because Adrian's previous teasing was very flirty first. He never intended to flirt with him and didn't even realise he had done it until after the fact. But boy did his face start to heat up when he knew what was happening. He felt conflicted about the whole thing.

On one hand, Zed wasn't his usual type, but he'd be willing to explore. Adrian had only recently began to come to terms with his sexuality so no one else knew. Maybe he thought his type was guys like Killua because he had never explored other options. He couldn't deny the fact that he was attractive. And, they had a connection. They told each other parts of themselves they had never told anyone else despite them just meeting. Maybe there was some cosmic reason for that. Or maybe it was just a big coincidence.

On the other hand, there was Killua Kravitz. Adrian's best friend and the guy who made him feel the way that he did. He hadn't told Killua about his feelings yet so it's not like he would hurt him. Plus, Killua had dated girls in the past. But, Adrian knew that didn't mean shit. He dated girls too, tons of girls. He was a serial dater at one point, leaving them broken hearted whenever the feeling of validation he got from them faded. It was shitty, but that was an overall shitty part of his life.

He decided to just sort of test the waters, that was probably what Zedekiah was doing too, after all. Just testing the waters. But for now, he couldn't focus on that. He had a race to win. He was behind Zed for a second, it took his brain a moment to register that the race had begun. Adrian was too caught up in his own thoughts. But then he went forward, determined to win - especially since he had bragged that this is what he was good at.

He had a different strategy to going about this than Zed did. Zed had tried going at his fastest speed first, when it comes to endurance training you didn't want to do that. By going full speed at the beginning you end up exhausting yourself so you have trouble going much faster than a walk in the later areas. So Adrian went a quick, but steady pace through the first part of the obstacle course. Part of him wanted to let Zedekiah get an even bigger lead, but that would be too suspicious. He wanted Zedekiah to feel good about himself like he deserved too.

Adrian knew how it felt to feel worthless. His own father had made him feel that way a countless amount of times. Of course, Zed had been enduring that torment for longer. After he weaved through the cones the next obstacle was a rock-climbing wall. It wasn't too high and you could technically go around it, but that defeated the purpose of this being training. They were going to train right. As he began to climb the wall he called back to Zed, "How's my ass looking from down there, Zeddy?"

ADRIAN NAVARRE

by sixsmith.
538 words
lyrics by bastille

[kap]

zedekiah luna

---

---

what part

of living

As you went, you continued to remind yourself that it didn't matter what your father thought of you. It really didn't matter what or who your father wanted you to end up becoming in the end of it all. You didn't care about him, and clearly, he didn't actually care about you either. He was trash. He was a terrible human being, and you wished you could just have nothing to do with him.

You pushed the thoughts of your father out of your head, and refocused on the race, at least for a moment or so. Then, it was back to the flirting again. Now, you were starting to think that what Adrian was saying and doing was intentional, but you weren't quite sure if it was meant to be genuine because he liked you or malicious because you liked him and he liked someone else instead.

If he was being malicious, or at the very least was just joking around with you and wasn't actually intending on flirting with you, you supposed you could rather easily find someone else to help you with the fact that you'd need to just get over it. You'd slept with a lot of guys over the last year or so, and most of them didn't stick around long enough to even wake up to you the next morning, but maybe you could get one to stay, just once. Hell, you didn't even need to sleep with them. You just wanted someone to show at least a little bit of continued interest in you beyond their desire to get in your pants.

Although, did you really need a love interest if you had good friends? You had never been as concerned about it before. Before, all you cared about was yourself and having a few good friends. Now, you had another great friend by the name of Adrian Navarre, and even if it didn't go anywhere romantically, you could make yourself okay with that, right? You had to. He was a good guy, and you didn't want to lose him as a friend just because he might not have a romantic interest.

Then again, it was still possible that he did have an interest and didn't mention it earlier. There was a chance, you supposed. That's why, when he said something else that sounded like flirting as he scaled the rock wall while you finished with the cones, you responded. He'd asked how his ass looked from down there. Down there being where you were, at the very bottom of the rock wall.

That, and he called you Zeddy. That was certainly a new one, but you though it was kind of a fun nickname. You didn't mind it.

"Phenomenal," you replied with a laugh, although it wasn't a joke. It looked pretty good from where you were standing.

Then, you started to scale the rock wall, too.

"You know, maybe I shouldn't have tried to go so fast," you admitted as you started to climb. You weren't sure if he'd hear you, as he was most likely going to be moving ahead of you already, but that didn't matter.

You slipped on the footholds a few times when you were climbing the wall, but never quite fell. As you got to the top, you stood there for only a second before heading down the other side of the wall, which was more of a guided fall or jump than a climb down. Hopefully Adrian wouldn't think of that as cheating. You just needed to get a little more caught up to him.

The next part of the obstacle course included a rope ladder that was laid out flat on the ground. You were meant to step between each of the rungs of the ladder without tripping or kicking the rungs. You started, and this time, you took it slowly.

-----
637 words

says you

gotta die

---

---

table by arx
lyrics: "Adrenaline" by Shinedown

[Deleted]

YOU HAVE ALWAYS WORN YOUR
FLAWS UPON YOUR SLEEVE ―

Adrian realised something. He liked flirting, he liked it a lot. He's sort of flirted with girls before but it was never anything fun. Whenever he had flirted with girls before he felt so much pressure on him, it made his anxiety peak. Maybe it was because there was pressure - the societal pressure of compulsory heterosexuality. But here, that pressure was gone? He didn't really have to think about it. Something that was one stressful was coming so easily to him. In the back of his mind he knew the truth, he was definitely gay. But, that didn't mean he was ready to admit it to himself. He still had mental barriers to get around before he could truly accept himself despite the ease he could accept people like Zed.

Part of the reason he had such a hard time accepting himself was his internalised homophobia caused by his fear of being a disappointment. His whole life he had been surrounded by heteronormativity. As a kid he wanted a happy relationship just like his parents and they always told him he'll meet a nice girl when he was a little bit older. When his mother passed away his grandparents and father had decided they wanted to give him her engagement ring once he was either 21 or in a serious long-term relationship with a girl - whatever happened first. Then there was his dad.

Adrian didn't think his dad was homophobic, he really didn't. He did think, however, his dad was too invested in a culture of toxic masculinity. His dad was a man's man and he wanted Adrian to be like that too. Adrian knew his dad wanted Adrian to be everything he wasn't, Adrian just feared that he would never be able to live up to those expectations. He wasn't near as buff and strong as his dad. He was too cowardly to volunteer despite being a career. He wasn't even straight. Adrian knew his dad wasn't homophobic, but he was very ignorant. And he knew if he came out his dad would be disappointed. And when he disappointed his dad while drunk, his disappointment turned into anger.

Adrian didn't mind Zedekiah not climbing down the other side of the wall, he was using his strengths. That's what being a career is really about in his mind. It's finding your strengths and figuring out how to use them in scenarios you normally wouldn't, In this scenario, imagine there was no way to go around the rock wall - only over it. But, climbing down and jumping down would still have the same effect even if jumping down is a little outside the box. One of Zed's biggest skills was the fact that he was a rebel, a troublemaker. He was rebelling against the idea that he had to climb back down when jumping down was easier and faster - even if there was a greater risk of injury. Adrian really admired that rebellious side of him.

He decided to try to flirt back, but here's the thing. Adrian's agile and good at endurance, but he isn't perfect. He is far from perfect. Mistakes definitely happen, especially when your focus is obscured by cute bad boys. Because even when he wasn't flirting, his mind was still going a mile a minute. If he brought home a boy like Killua, a rich, wealthy and well-spoken guy his dad might react decently. Now if he brought home a guy like Zed? Rebellious and known for being a troublemaker, especially since as a trainer his dad knows exactly who he is? That would be a mess. As he thought about this and called back, something happened.

"Ooooh Zed- FUCK!"

When he got too distracted by flirting and turned back to look at Zed, he messed up. His foot got caught on one of the ropes and he tripped. It wasn't a big deal, tripping is one of the lightest injuries a career can get while training. However, it did give Zed a moment to caught up as Adrian had to untangle his foot from the rope before he could continue the race. Especially since the obstacle course was nearly over. He swore if he ended up losing because he wanted to flirt he was going to have to fight Zed - even if it was no one's fault except his own.

ADRIAN NAVARRE

by sixsmith.
724 words
lyrics by bastille