the madness of the daring // zane v. nixie

[lance]

[presto][/presto]

z a n e .

"you are weak
but not foolish
you have learned
how to die."

It's hard to describe the feelings that overwhelm me when Cedric's face flashes across the sky that night.

Relief, for sure, that there will never be a chance for our two visions of the future to collide in an epic battle, that I'll never have to choose between my own newfound selfishness and that of the one boy in this entire arena who helped me forget about the pain, if only for a moment. Grief, for in losing that boy, I feel like a part of my soul has gone quiet as well, the same way that pain ached inside of me when I lost Cara as well, the pain of losing someone who, despite their own flaws, changed me for the better. And hollow emptiness, for setting out on a campaign, vowing to kill his district partner and remove his Achilles' heel for him so that if it came down to it, he would have one less obstacle that might slow him up in his path, all of that effort amounted for naught other than another notch on my shoulder, another murder to stain my soul.

It's probably a good thing I found my own reason to live, to push on, to excuse the very acts I'd vowed never to do back home, to accept it as the cost of salvation, when I did. Otherwise, I'd be a very broken man indeed.

Well, moreso than I already am. You get my drift.

Cedric's isn't the only face that shines that night, as is custom for the top eight moving into the top four - there's the kid from Eleven, Arthur's partner, finally named as Abel, and the kid from Ten who'd stabbed his brains out - Maddox. And of course, Cedric's partner. In retrospect, I really wish I'd asked her name and heard the pronunciation from her own mouth, because juggling whether to refer to her as sin-ee-add or sigh-need is going to torment me for the rest of my life, I can tell.

Funny how on the first day it was my impromptu teamup with the Sixes that resulted in their dying before me in a fateful suicide charge that really kickstarted my journey through this arena, and it was yesterday that the two Twelves marked the end of two of the first kids to make their mark on me within the arena. And me, the Nine, caught in the middle, surviving and thriving nonetheless.

The anthem fades. Twenty kids, familiar and unfamiliar, from Bastian Fray to Cedric Hardin, lay dead. Three remain, and I honestly hadn't bothered to keep track or keep count, so their identities remain a mystery.

But one thing's for sure. My last chain to the arena, my last reason to search for death instead of cling to life, my last inhibition in the face of anything my bleeding heart could not overcome, have all been overcome.

Nothing within me can stop me now. Not even the throb of pain in my bandaged arm, courtesy of Sinead's last gift, can slow me down.

To the rest of the world, I remain as I appear, a skinny kid from Nine who came from nothing and has survived this far through sheer luck. But I know better. Every trial that's threatened to drag me down, every intrusive thought that drove me to end my life on someone else's blade, all have failed to bring me down. Cause why?

Cause in the face of my own adversity, I'm fucking invincible.

---

When I leave the crater basin in the morning, I find myself astounded by the appearance of yet another unique landscape set out in front of me. I've found myself in a forest and a swampland and a set of plains with a single rusting building breaking the monotony of the horizon, but never have I found myself upon an expanse of sand. And never before have I seen sand painted so bloody in the rising sun, stretching out for miles on end with only the odd break in the landscape.

It's a fitting place to make my penultimate stand, I decide.

The rain has ebbed by the time I make my trek, and the heat has returned in all of its sweltering, choking force. My shirt is stripped within minutes, wrapped around my head to keep the sweat out of my eyes like some sort of ragged bandana, and I almost regret setting out in the heat of the day, knowing full well that come sundown I'll have sweat my bodyweight in water out.

But I don't regret it in the end. Because, as per the Gamemaker's plans, my solitary trek finds itself interrupted in the most welcome of ways.

It's not a surprise to see the figure approach, knowing that killing Sinead yesterday marked only the first trial out of three I'd need to overcome in order to get the crown and secure my newfound opportunity in life. What is a surprise is who it turns out to be - for once the girl from Four makes the transition from vaguely humanoid blob on the horizon to an actual living, breathing person, I can't help but laugh.

Trial one involved me overcoming my heart by killing the district partner of the only person in this hellscape I cared for. And now, trial two appears to be giving me the chance to do what few people in Games history, victors or otherwise, have ever accomplished - complete the Career set and live to tell the tale.

"I was hoping it'd be you!" I laugh into the heat once she's close enough to become threatening. This Career, this girl from Four, is a wholly different ballgame from Sinead Williams, who was a soft girl from a soft life before all of this shit went down, and so she requires a wholly different approach.

One where words and actions must go hand in hand, forcing me to awaken every ounce of latent skill within my tired body and every possible advantage I can use, dirty or otherwise, must be exploited to even give me a chance at escaping this victorious.

"You know, back home, I bet they're callin' me Careersbane, cause none of ya can figure out how to escape me with your lives," I quip, bandana-shirt fluttering in the wind. Even the environment is different - I can't count upon howling winds to send the crossbow bolts fired my way off course. "Every time one of y'all has come for me, it doesn't end well for you."

I smirk my megawatt smile, only half-pretending this time due to the sheer anticipation of the fight to come. The calm before the storm, one might call it. "Let's see. Iden Averill killed one of my allies in the bloodbath, so I took his life in return. Anarchy Mer - your district partner, right? - and Nylon Gingham came after us after that. I took her arm and his head, just like-" I swing exaggeratedly at thin air "-that. And at the end of it all, when Bastian Fray and Elizabeth Manford tried to come for me, they couldn't so much as touch me." And oh, I'm definitely playing with fire here, but since when have I ever avoided the chance to go after a little risk? "The girls died before they could try and avenge their so-called Career honor, and you saw what happened when Bastian tried to do the same."

Playing the game, doing the taunting before she can get into range, all of it is a delicate balancing act. And if I time it just right-

"So really, I don't see what hope you think you have." Eyes dilated, chest heaving, careful, Zane. "But I thank you for giving me the chance to complete the set. Things were a little lonely after I offed Twelve's girl yesterday."

-the tension will snap, and I'll charge before she's ready.

Cause in a fight like this, I need every advantage I can get. And like yesterday, that starts with being the first to draw blood.

elegant

zane attacks nixie; machete

ENSlGblU9wsword

1015 -- Deep Gash on Right Bicep -- 8.0 damage

sword

[kap]

The rain finally died down as the faces were shown in the sky that night. Maddox, Sinead, Abel and Cedric. That left me, Whiskey, the girl from Five I'd never met and the kid from Nine whose name I still didn't know.

While I laid there, watching the anthem, Emmy, my little dinosaur friend, crawled her way out of my raincoat pocket. She climbed up me and found herself nestled on my shoulder. She was quite cute, if I'm being totally honest. It was nice to have something of a pet in this arena. If anything, she sort of reminded me of my dog Pixie back home.

I slept that night with my machete in my hand and a miniature dinosaur on my shoulder. I actually didn't even try to fall asleep. I was thinking that I'd end up staying awake all night to be on guard, but sleep took over eventually. Maybe it was the muggy, humid air that was now taking hold of the arena getting to me.

-----

Waking up in the morning, I still had my machete tight in my grasp. I put Emmy back in my pocket when I stood up and started walking. I couldn't stay at the cornucopia all day, just expecting my next target to come to me. I had to start moving and looking for someone to strike down.

I ended up back in the dunes. I'd come back here on purpose. It was where Tsara had died. It reminded me of her, but more so in her good times than her dying moments, which was a good thing. I didn't want to think about her dying all over again. I just wanted to remember her alive.

Wandering about in the dunes, the red glow the sand gave off reminded me of blood.

As a figure started to appear over the horizon, I wondered if their blood would be the next to spill. I could certainly do my best to make it that way of course.

When they got closer, I could tell it wasn't Whiskey, or the girl from Five, which left the boy from Nine. As he got into speaking range, he started talking about how he'd been the bane of existence for careers. He rambled on it quite a bit, and I stood there waiting for him to just shut up and fight me.

"You done with your monologue yet?" I laughed when he finally finished speaking. He'd killed Sinead, apparently. That was part of his whole speech. I mean, I knew someone had to have done it. I wasn't happy with that fact, but at least it wasn't my doing.

I'd killed three people in this arena already. One, Luya. Two, Laurence. Three, Cedric. The boy from Nine definitely wouldn't be too thrilled when he found out I'd killed Cedric. I suppose that was all the more reason to tell him. I'd be able to make this fight more enjoyable before I added him to my list of victims.

"Did Sinead mention anything worth noting yesterday?" I asked. "Because all your buddy Cedric and I did before I killed him was a bit of bantering."

His blade sliced my arm deeper than any attack Cedric had made yesterday, but I wouldn't let that intimidate me. I slashed right back at him.

table by Griffin

[Nixie attacks Zane, machete]
xojzMyAAq4sword
[1175 -- Severed Left Ear -- 8.0 damage + 1.0 blades]

sword

[lance]

This is different from the girl from Twelve right from the getgo. For one, my blade cuts deep without me even having to try seven times first - not a killing blow, but a good one on her arm. And at this point, I'll take what I can get.

But she shrugs it off like it's nothing, and not for the first time I wonder if I've perhaps bitten off more than I can chew. Not that it matters at this point, because running isn't an option. Either I persevere, I find the skill within me to outmaneuver this girl who's been indoctrinated into this and had the privilege to think of murder as an art form or a game instead of the serious real-world consequence it is, or I die, barely twenty four hours after I'd found my reason to live.

She quips on my speech, and my megawatt smile doesn't even dim. "Yeah, I'm done with the monologues, don't you worry. I got what I wanted out of it anyway."

She mentions Sinead - and turns out that both of my pronunciations were wrong, what the hell Twelves - and before I can even dignify that with an answer Cedric's name is dropped in the same breath.

I wondered who had gotten to him, who had had the courage and the strength to do what I could not. Maybe there was more than one reason I'm facing off against Four today.

"Not much, honestly," I retort back, smirk fading, eyes never leaving the girl's form. "An attempt to guilt me into letting her win. A defiant streak not matched by her skills. Didn't get much past that." The corner of my mouth twitches, a lackluster attempt to recreate my shit-eating grin. "I'm glad you told me about Cedric, though. He was the one person in this hellhole I wasn't sure I had it in me to kill."

I tense, readying for the strike.

"Plus, now I can add avenging him to the list of reasons why I should kill you."

I move to lunge, but Four is faster. And as she brings the sword down it's only a matter of reflexes that stops me from achieving the death I'd sought after for days on end. Instead of the switch of a light, there's a burn erupting out of the side of my head. I don't quite scream, not this time, but it's a close thing.

How people can get stabbed and slashed like this and maintain their composure is beyond me, cause fuck if this doesn't hurt.

But like the bullets, like the arrow, the pain ebbs, and my focus remains strong. Career or not, I've apparently moved into the point of the Games where no one can kill me in a single strike.

If only I'd exploited that back when it actually mattered.

"Nice try," I manage to gasp as the pain recedes from oh god oh fuck to ow ow ow, and shit does my voice sound weird now. "But my brain isn't that big."

Clearly not, because instead of turning tail and running and taking my chances with whatever the Gamemakers have in store for me, I use the opportunity to rush forward and strike again.

zane attacks nixie; machete

egPoYFkvfDsword

1073 -- Miss -- 0.0 damage

accuracy, day eight

sword

1002 -- Miss -- 0.0 damage

sword·sword

[kap]

I didn't pay much mind to what he told me Sinead had said. I suppose that was because, despite my curiosity, it didn't actually matter now. I did listen to him say that he was glad I told him about Cedric, because it gave him another reason to try to kill me. I suppose he needed more reasons than I did. My sole reason for wanting to kill this guy was because I wanted to win. I was determined to win. I wasn't going to back down for some guy I really didn't know.

The guy tells me "nice try" for my swing, saying that his brain isn't that big.

"I can see that," I tell him with a smirk.

I'm beaming with confidence right then, ready to kill this guy, taking him out of the world like I did to his friend. I'd cut off both of Cedric's ears. I wonder if I could do it to Nine as well.

"Maybe I should get a bit closer to your brain when I hit you next time, then, huh?" I said to him.

It sounded dumb, honestly, but it was the best thing I could think of to say. I wasn't known for wisecracks. I was known for my strength and manipulation when it really came down to it. Unfortunately, I'd shown that to my family a little bit over the years. I'll admit, I wasn't always the best person to them. Sure, Marina and I usually got along, but there were definitely times where I'd try to take advantage of a situation to get my way, or that I'd argue with her with seemingly no end in sight other than me winning the argument.

Personally, I also think I was better than her at career training. Sure, it started out with her training me, but by the end of it, I was training myself. She'd taught me everything that she knew how to teach me, so I had to move on to doing things on my own. She still thought she would have outperformed me in the Games, but I doubted that. With how far I've gotten? She wouldn't have gotten past day three, in my opinion.

I love her, but she's not as good as she thinks she is.

I wondered if this guy I was fighting was as good as he thought he was. I supposed only time would tell. He wanted to fight, it seemed, but it was a matter of if he had enough skill to win or not.

I stepped out of the way of Nine's next swing. His attack didn't meet its target like he'd planned. I wondered if that would just make him more frustrated, but I decided to hit him before giving him the chance to show me.

table by Griffin

[Nixie attacks Zane, machete]
baiYckFm4Osword
[1123 -- Deep Gash on Right Thigh -- 8.0 damage + 1.0 blades]

sword

[lance]

Things go from poor to worse to shit in the span of about ten seconds. For starters, my old habits from fighting with Twelve - Sinead - seem to be resurfacing. Or maybe striking while my head's on fire against a target who can actually fight before I can properly aim wasn't my best idea. Whatever the case, my flailing fails to reach a purchase, and I'm rewarded for my efforts with another searing pain, this time in my leg.

And I wonder if I'd let my overconfidence get to me, if I'd used the fact that every other Career I'd gone up against had ended up the worse for wear. Two dead and one crippled before the bloodbath was even over, the fourth dead while I was still fighting off mutts, and the fifth practically did the job for me in offing himself instead of giving me the fight I truly wanted.

If Bastian Fray had truky wanted to live, I realize, I wouldn't have stood a single chance.

Yet as I shakily get to my feet, wetness on my head and pain searing my leg, I realize something. I'm fucking invincible. The Zane of a few days ago would have seen this as his sign, that this girl was to be his end, and would have meekly submitted, put his neck on the chopping block with the plea to just get it over with quickly.

The Zane of today? Yeah, he's every bit the Zane that made life difficult for everyone around him back in Nine.

"Yeah, kinda aiming for the wrong head there if you want to take out my brain, darling." I quip, with the best smirk my pained form can manage.

Look at me. Stabbed, slashed, facing almost certain death, and still wise-cracking to the end. The old me would be proud.

But the old me had his chance to accept death, and the new me isn't going to accept that fate until the bitter end. If Four wants my life, she's going to have to take it from me kicking and screaming.

And kicking and screaming is exactly what I do.

zane attacks nixie; machete

_dzNrjDJ_bsword

1099 -- Severed Left Ear -- 8.0 damage

sword

[kap]

I laughed at his comment about aiming for the wrong head. I suppose he wasn't wrong about that. My aim seemed to be a little off right about now, but my strikes were still strong.

When he strikes me back, however, for a moment, I hear a high pitched ringing. I feel a shockingly terrible pain in the side of my head, too. I reach up to my ear— it's gone.

"Fuck! I shout.

I couldn't believe that this guy cut off my ear! I mean, I had done it to him first, but still. No one said we were supposed to hit each other in the same way. I mean, I'd cut off both of Cedric's ears and the best he'd done was give me a few shallow cuts.

Nine definitely seemed to hit harder than Twelve.

"Alright, whatever your name is, I see you can bite back," I admitted.

I wasn't sure that I really cared what his name was, but if he wanted to share, that was at his own discretion. I'd find it out in the anthem tonight after I killed him, anyway. I was pretty confident in my ability to kill him, even if he was hitting harder than his old pal. I still felt like I had the upper hand. It couldn't be that hard, right?

Surely.

"Let's see if I can do even better."

Obviously I was confident. That was always a good thing. I didn't really believe in being over confident. It was just people getting to the point where they were starting to doubt their own confidence. I don't typically get like that. I wasn't usually one to doubt myself, so why start now?

table by Griffin

[Nixie attacks Zane, machete]
aSZ|QZx3D5sword
[1158 -- Stabbed in Eye -- 40 damage]

sword