beneath the surface // inside&prop&nixie

[kap]

Victorship was a strange feeling. It was a wonderful one, don't get me wrong, but a strange one all the same. After winning, I almost felt bombarded with attention. Everyone seemed to want to meet me, including other victors, and I mean, I certainly don't blame them, but it was a very different feeling. I spent so much of my life feeling overlooked that it was just a very new thing to me.

Apparently, that's what happens when people finally realize your talent. I've had the talent and ability to win the Games for a long time. The opportunity just didn't really present itself until this year. Sure, I could've volunteered, ripping my parents' hearts out in the process, but what was the good in that? I was sure they were anxious enough when I was reaped. They didn't need the anxiety of their daughter volunteering when they weren't confident that I was going to win.

It'd be a lie if I said I was confident the entire time from the day of the reaping to the day I won, but I certainly was confident most of the time. I hardly ever faltered. Faltering was what got you killed in the arena, after all. That's why I made it out alive: I kept believing I could do it.

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The victory tour had been interesting so far, but it was just getting started, honestly. I was prepared for so much more to happen while I made my way up through the Districts, Twelve to One. There were a few stops I was specifically making sure I made, though. There were some people I just had to see. Abel's family members were definitely on that list. I needed to see his siblings, as well as his cousins, if I could. It just felt important to me, and I wasn't quite sure why. I hadn't seen him die, but I still knew he'd been killed. He'd been killed by Whiskey, and I'd killed Whiskey, so maybe this could be some sort of closure for them when they saw me. I wasn't sure how important that was to them, but there was always a possibility that seeing me would mean something to them.

So, I started with the easier of the two tasks when it came to seeing the O'Malleys. I needed to see Abel's cousins before I saw his immediate family. It would be easier on me, and that's what I really needed right now. Too many emotions might surface if I were to start with seeing his siblings and parents, or whatever his home situation was.

I approached the household where I'd been told Prop O'Malley and family lived, and came up to the door. Abel had volunteered for Prop. That took some courage. The kid was brave, I'd give him that. Despite the fact that how religious he was seemed a bit nutty to me, he was also well-meaning, from what I could see. I wondered if his cousins were similar.

Knocking on the door, I awaited an answer. From what I'd heard, this side of the O'Malley family was especially large, so I really had no idea who I'd be facing when they answered the door. Wait and see was all I could do.

For some reason, I just hoped that Prop wouldn't be the first one my eyes met.

table by Rave

[Deleted]

Prop and I were home alone today.

Everyone else wanted to visit our Aunt and Uncle, but Prop didn't wanna. He said he still felt too bad, felt too guilty. Pa sorta gave him a sad look. I heard them talking one night outside on the front porch. About how it wasn't his fault. About how even if Prop wanted to he couldn't have stopped what Abel did. That this situation wasn't like Six because Six didn't choose to go in. My window was cracked open just enough to hear them outside. I don't think they know.

Prop has always seemed strong to me. But recently he's been hurting, I can tell. I just don't know what to do to fix it. So I pretend I don't see it, that it's not there. But today when he said he didn't want to go, I didn't want him to be alone. He doesn't deserve to be alone. If he's alone he might just think about how bad he feels or how sad he is. We were playing a card game he taught me called Blackjack together, but he decided to take a nap on the living room couch.

In the coffee table were the playing cards scattered about, two cups of juice, and some bread with preserves we were snacking on as we played. He had just fallen asleep and I was quietly watching TV when I heard the knock on the door. I peaked through the curtain but it was hard to tell who it was. It looked like a girl. I heard about Prop sneaking around with some girl. Was this her? His girlfriend? About time I meet her I say.

But the moment I flung open the door, I knew who it was and I froze.

Nixie Summers. Was that really her? After my initial shock I started literally jumping up and down in excitement. Nixie Summers was here! At our hours! "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! Nixie Summers! Nixie Summers! Hi! Hi hi hi! I'm Inside O'Malley and it is soooooooooo amazing to meet you! What are you doing here!? Oh my gosh that doesn't matter why! You're just here! But seriously, why are you here?"

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