Wilder Reads || CALL NOW! [open for 1 person]

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"Here yee, here yee! Do you feel misunderstood? Do you just want to feel seen? Well, spirit-search no further, your astral guide has arrived!" Wilder stares in to the camera, 1-800-FOR-WILD flickering center bottom of the screen. "Hello there," they say, a dramatic glove snapping up to their face before folding delicately, "I'm Wilder Zane, and my third eye sees all, bitch."

Not for free though, "for $1 per minute, I will personally walk you through your Natal Chart and see what lines in your fate. For the price of a falsie eyelash you - yes, you! - can know what awaits past... the VIEL!" The commercial zooms into their eyes before continuing on. 

"The secret arts of Panem will come to light internationally right on this very set. Enlightenment has never come so cheap, so all you have to do is: give a call! Go to your closest telephone booth and dial 1-800-FOR-WILD now! That's 1 - 800 - FOR - WILD!" Their gloves' nails patter on the table in suspense as Wilder's commercial comes to a fade-to-black close. "I'll be waiting~" chimes out over the foggy final screen.