sunflower laser beams {blitz}

[marcellus rhodes 11b arc]

You know, if the project was about relatives in the Games, I think we'd do great here. Sadly, it wasn't that. Science class doesn't exactly care about your relatives. They do care about the Games, though. The premise of the project was to see how various plants can be modified genetically to be placed into the Games'. Apparently, the best plant submissions would be forwarded to someone to review. They might get put into the Games. That got a few students talking as if they were about to become the Next Top Gamemaker. Please.

Our design was going to win.

I was assigned to work with Prop O'Malley, a fellow Games-Relative. His family has a bigger farm than mine, we lived in the more residential area of the district and had done most of our work in the sales. We felt that it was natural to do the project at his home because they had some leftover crops from the previous yields. I had brought some flowers that I think could act as "cute-but-deadly" situations. A pretty classic archetype for Games mutts and plants, but hey, I think it could work. We both decided to create our own ideas separately and then present them to each other.

"You're telling me that laser beam shooting sunflowers wouldn't work?" I point down at my design. I think it's a pretty killer idea in my head. A beautiful field of sunflowers, and then bam, ashes.

No?

[Deleted]

I don't know if this teacher thought they were fucking funny or what, but I wasn't impressed. They said the pairings were random, but really? Do they think I'm fucking stupid or what? Oh let's randomly assign the two kids who keep having their family members get fucking murdered! Oh including the kid who got reaped and whose cousin died volunteering for him like a fucking month ago! Wouldn't that just be so fucking funny!? Well I don't think it's fucking funny. And this kid has about two braincells total.

He thought my farm being large made it a good spot. You know how it's so large? There are fifteen of us kids here! I tried explaining that to him but he didn't seem to get it. So I brought us to my room and locked the door. If I was going to be stuck working with this guy, I was going to have a smoke while I did it. Ever since I found out about Cleome's diagnosis I had been trying to cut down on my cigarettes, but hey I've always been bad at everything. Why stop now?

When he showed me his latest idea I couldn't help but roll my eyes, "Yes because that's a stupid idea and you're stupid for thinking of it. Plants can't make lasers. Maybe we could do something along the lines of sunflowers with poison thorns on their stems, but you aren't being realistic."

[ 238 words ]

[ table by tom ]

[marcellus rhodes 11b arc]

The noise was a lot to take in at first, and I almost wished we did actually do the project at my house. But I don't want to do it there. I figured it would've been easy to do it at the farm because he had a lot more access to crops than me. Prop rolled his eyes at my suggestion. I think that laserbeams are cool. They're quick and efficient too!

"Yes because that's a stupid idea and you're stupid for thinking of it. Plants can't make lasers. Maybe we could do something along the lines of sunflowers with poison thorns on their stems, but you aren't being realistic."

Oh. I frowned upon being called stupid. Great, not only am I going to have to listen to his idea, but follow through with his too. I'm too stupid to give an opinion on it, right? I let out a sigh. "Fine, maybe poisonous thorns. What were you thinking, then?" If I was too stupid for my suggestion, he must have a better one. I bet it's lame. Like a flower that when you smell it, it locks off your ability to breathe through your nose.

[Deleted]

When he asked what my idea was, I felt my face flush. My papers were filled with half formulated-ideas I crossed out and sketches for plants that would never become a reality. I couldn't fucking think. I hated assignments like this, believe it or not. It made me need to be able to think, to function. Thinking had been so hard this last year, and with the way Abel died I had a feeling it was about to become even harder. I was working on my anger, but honestly I felt angrier now more than ever.

"I... I can't think of anything! How can you ever think? How can you think knowing that whenever people look at you they don't see you, they see your dead family? How can you think knowing what the Capitol took from you for no reason other than entertainment!? How can you think when your mind is so clouded you can hardly breathe!?"

I wasn't angry, I was scared. I had never been able to admit when I was scared. I was the third oldest and it was my job to protect my siblings. I couldn't do that if I was scared. When Six got reaped, I was too scared to volunteer. When I got reaped, I was too scared to move faster and my cousin volunteered. And now I was too scared to just live my life. And I couldn't understand how this kid managed to do it with a smile.

[ 245 words ]

[ table by tom ]

[marcellus rhodes 11b arc]

God, I knew that this project was going to suck. I'm too stupid, right? I can't come up with a good plan. I just do and just cross my fingers, hoping for the best result possible. Because that works, right? It's impossible for me to do anything remotely productive. That's why Mom suggested I start looking at jobs in the market, something along the lines of "you need to figure out what you're good at!" In the most kind, yet talk-down voice that any mother of the world has mastered. She basically called me useless.

Ouch.

Thanks, Mom. Guess that dog was for nothing!

Suddenly, a red bomb explodes to the right of me.

"I... I can't think of anything! How can you ever think?"

Uh, wow. Hurtful? Even my project partner is calling me stupid.

"How can you think knowing that whenever people look at you they don't see you, they see your dead family?"

Oh, right. He just lost a brother. That's a thing.

"How can you think knowing what the Capitol took from you for no reason other than entertainment!? How can you think when your mind is so clouded you can hardly breathe!?"

That was a tough situation for me to answer. I can't respond in sob and sorrow, because I also have a relative that won. But I can't also just point Harbinger out, because then I seem inconsiderate towards the lives that were lost. It's a really tough situation. This is one of the places my brain can work. Because I know I like making people happy.

"Well, I'll be honest, I can't fully cure your anger." I gave a sigh and turned to face him. "I've had both spectrums of the Games' experience, someone coming home alive and someone in a coffin. Neither are that great." I drum my fingers on the desk, trying to think of the best way to continue. "When Harbinger came back, I remember my family saying that he was different. When they come back alive, they're almost better off dead... killing people is weird." I say this like I've done it myself, but I haven't. Obviously. "I'm not directly related to many of the Rhodes that have competed, they're more distant cousins. So I can't help on the forefront of a brother, but for that I'm sorry." I want to reach out and hug him, give him those bear-hug-squeezes that I've been told makes everything better. But that'd be weird to give to a lab partner. So I just put on a face of sorrow and respect. I don't know Prop that well, so all I can do is support.

[Deleted]

God I really am related to that asshole, Cain, aren't I?

I just did something he would do. I let my emotions overwhelm me and I exploded. Just like I did to Vasco Izar when Six was in the bloodbath and his leg got broken early on. Except unlike then, I didn't explode in anger. Instead of just getting pissed off, I showed vulnerability. And I hated that.

I wished I had just gotten pissed off and punched the guy in the face. Would've been better for everyone. He wouldn't have had to hear my feelings and I wouldn't have to admit them. I wouldn't have been exposed. And I wouldn't have had to try to listen to him trying to make me feel better. I didn't need it. I just needed to breathe. I was fine. I'm fine.

"Stop. I'm fine, alright? I just got... I was feeling... I don't know what just happened. But I'm fine. I don't need your sympathy. I'm fine. And if you tell anyone about this, I'll kick your ass. I kicked Kassandra Nerys ass I can definitely kick yours."

I may have been stretching the truth just a bit there. I mean I did get into a fist fight with her. And I would have kicked her ass if she didn't get lucky and break my leg first. It's sort of hard to use your height advantage over someone when they snap your leg into two pieces. Doctors didn't even know how she broke it that badly.

"Let's just focus on the work."

Yes I was blatantly ignoring the fact I was the one who got off topic the first place and just had a break down. No I wasn't going to give him a say in the matter. I finally ended up with an idea of some sort though, "What about a plant with vines that go into your mouth and nose and suffocate you to death?"

[ 319 words ]

[ table by tom ]