questionable spontaneity // skyler + avriel

[lance]

S K Y L E R .

The summer before you were set to graduate the reaping and school alike, you decided to start a project. One part practical (every good writer got their start somewhere and walking around Nine was as practical as it got for you), one part gently encouraged (Mrs. Xu had touted the idea of contacting a Capitolite publishing company who would be more than interested in publishing a book about the unique and bizarre lifestyles of the youth of Nine), and one part personal (when the number of friends that disappeared from school over the years exceeded the number of fingers you had, one couldn't help but get curious), you'd spent the last month digging up old contacts, reconnecting with old friends, getting a draft started for your book.

There'd been several you found already - Natasha, who now ran with a gang; Caleb, forced into the factories to support his ailing grandmother; Amber, who walked the thin line between charity and thievery with grace - and several who had been less than willing. Luca looked dead inside after his factory shift and hadn't graced you with a word the entire walk home. And Colin had flat out brandished a gun in your face, saying that if you didn't leave in ten seconds there'd be hell to pay. You were stubborn, yes, but not suicidal, and you knew when a lead was lost.

But nothing scared you quite like this. Compared to the familiarity of Nine's working class, the well-furnished house in the Victor's Village was something else entirely, as was its occupant. Avriel had been more than acquaintances but less than good friends when he'd disappeared two years ago, and neither of you had been known for your extroversion. Hell, half of you expected to be ignored or have the door slammed on your face for daring to show up.

But if Colin and Natasha's gang connections couldn't stop you, then neither would your own anxiety. One deep breath followed another, and before you could second-guess yourself, you'd already knocked four solid beats onto the door.

elegant

[gamemaker kelsier]

a v r i e l .

"It's so weird
That we care
so much until
we don't"

Your shoulder still burns.

A year on, and the pain is still there, the twisted hole in your skin aching from where the tip of Aspen's spear made its mark. It wakes you in the night and you sit up in bed to watch the sunrise. Or maybe that's just the summer heat, already setting in despite the early hour. Whatever it is, you're up, head resting against and legs pushed through the rungs off the juliet balcony attached to your bedroom window.

And the sun rises and the world starts again so you do as well.

But it's more difficult post 89th. The heavy feeling is back, the dark, as you've coined it. It waits in the corners, in the shadows, on your back when you're not looking, heavy. So you haven't tried swimming again, it'll just weigh you down.

Coffee's on when you get downstairs and there's Scout, sitting beside the brewing pot, kicking its little legs. The Kodama's better at your schedule than you are now. Private school has already started for the year so Billie and Duke are gone and it's just the two of you but you're bad at alone.

You rearrange the books on the shelf in the living room so that they're colour coded and then lay on the couch, watching the sun travel across the wooden flooring.

- BAM -

Knock at the door.

- BAM -

Again.

- BAM -

And again. (makes you think of Lafayette.)

- BAM -

Okay, you get up and cross over to the front door and unlock the dead bolt. Then you swing the door open and you're staring at a vaguely familiar face.

"Skyler?" You say after a moment. It's your old friend from school but you haven't seen them since your parents disappeared and you dropped out.

[lance]

S K Y L E R .

There's sweat trickling down your back and you can't determine if it's from the heat or the nerves (or a combo of both, as most things with two possible stimuli to one reaction tend to be) but you barely have time to ponder the question before the deadbolt unlocks and the door opens and well.

And it's a surprise how quickly he recognizes you because while you've seen his face almost every time you've turned on the television you genuinely would have thought that two years of Games and Capitol business and whatever goes on behind the scenes would have rusted away the ties from home. But two years, you realize, isn't really a long time in the grand scheme of things - Avriel, for his part, looks about the same as he did back at school. A little older, hair a little longer and frame a little thinner, but it's the same face, the same person.

You hadn't felt this nervous facing down Natasha in the heart of the city or chasing after Luca's cold shoulder or even when Colin pointed a gun between your eyes. (Okay, that last one was a lie, but details). And for a second you can just stand and stare, eyes wide, taking in the first in-person shot of your friend in who knows how long.

"Avriel, hi," you breathe after the silence stretches a bit too long for comfort, realizing with searing clarity that, truthfully, you hadn't expected to get this far, and since improvisation isn't among your skillset you feel like a fish out of water - flopping, gasping, wondering how and why the hell you were even in this situation. "It's, uh, it's been a while."

Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.

elegant

[gamemaker kelsier]

a v r i e l .

"It's so weird
That we care
so much until
we don't"

Sky was the kid your teachers grouped you with all through elementary school because when you refused to cooperate he'd nudge you back into shape. You remember once, maybe grade three, this kid stole Skyler's pencil case at recess and was being a fucking asshole so you loosened all the screws on his classroom chair.

When you got back from lunch he went to sit and it was fucking hilarious, everyone laughed and he cried because he was so embarrassed. You got detention for your troubles and a stern talking to later that night from your father but since then you'd eat lunch with Sky.

And when your parents died, and he put a hand on your shoulder and told you that they'd turn up, you realized you couldn't look him in the eye anymore.

Now he's on your front step, and you're in the doorway and the world is a lot different. Except he still makes that uncomfortable look he gets when he's nervous.

"Yeah," you say numbly. This should feel good right? Seeing your childhood friend again.

Just feels weird, like seeing a ghost.

"Why did you come here?" you ask. Then you realize how that sounds. It's not like you're upset about seeing him. You step aside and gesture into the hallway, "Come in."

[lance]

S K Y L E R .

Relationships had never been your strong suit - the unifying factor with the majority of your friends were that they were extroverted and had pretty much forcefully taken you under their wing once upon a time, so inept at seeking out others were you. Avriel had been something of a special exception, an acquaintance formed out of the circumstances of teacher meddling as opposed to a genuine draw at first. Simply two kids lost in their own hatches - for you, your words; for him, his tinkering - until one day one of the other kids had recognized you for the pushover you were.

Were it just you, you'd have let it slide. Avriel, on the other hand, wasn't that kind of person. And there's a camaraderie born from mutual suffering and sticking up for one another that just felt natural after that - perhaps not quite best friends, but more than acquaintances who only tolerated each other because they had to.

The tension in the air is thicker than your backpack during exam season and Avriel's question of why you were there (justified, in your opinion) fails to cut it. But you're not allowed to make an excuse, not even allowed to call off the whole operation because fuck it's awkward before suddenly you're invited inside and well, yeah, being a pushover isn't exactly something that's changed in a decade.

You step inside, remove your shoes because it seems polite, mind racing a mile a minute because you knew why you'd been there, but Avriel's a victor who probably has to deal with media attention every time he leaves his house and fucking hell how could you have been such an idiot-

And, well, you were never really good at improvising so you settle for the next best tidbit of truth.

"I missed you."

And you find it's not even a lie.

elegant

[gamemaker kelsier]

a v r i e l .

"It's so weird
That we care
so much until
we don't"

Your thoughts races, flicking through the flashcards in your head, looking for the one that says 'guests'. There's a protocol right? What are you supposed to do again? It's hard to remember. It's been a long time since you've had someone over. As a rule the three of you tend to keep to yourselves because you're happy as a small unit.

Since your Imo Theo disappeared it's truly been just you, Duke and Billie against the world and you've never needed anyone else.

"It's good to see you," you tell Skyler, always a little bit guarded. As he slips his shoes off and peaks around though, you realize that yeah, you missed him too.

Scout makes this little chirping sound from the kitchen, the Kodama's always been too comfortable with strangers, but you lead Skyler into the kitchen to meet him anyway. You both used to do your homework together at the kitchen table in your old place. Your mom would make you tea. "Coffee?" you ask.

There's leftover coffee in the pot from the morning so you cross to the sink and dump it out.

"That's Scout," you tell Skyler. The Kodama is inspecting your old friend, glowing brilliantly and making these happy little chirps. It's so rare for it to meet someone new these days. "He's friendly, don't worry."

[lance]

S K Y L E R .

Some things never change, as indicated by the overwhelming sense of deja vu as you're brought into the shiny futuristic kitchen. You'd always heard the Victor's Village was the closest one in Nine could get to living in royalty, but you'd never thought you'd see it firsthand. Avriel offers you coffee, which you accept, albeit somewhat distractedly because whoa-

"That's Scout," Avriel says, and you recognize the muttation from two years ago as they flitted all over the arena. But to see one up close and personal was an experience you'd never hoped to have, if only from the implications, but, well. "He's friendly, don't worry."

Worry was the last thing on your mind, jaw agape and eyes wide as the mutt began to glow, chirping in excitement. And despite yourself, despite the tension still laced in the air, you can't help but chuckle.

"Hey little guy," you murmur the same way you would to the stray cat that frequents your window from time to time, kneeling until you're roughly at eye level with him. "I'm Skyler. It's nice to meet you."

He chirps in what you think to be excitement, and you laugh again, louder, less reserved.

elegant

[gamemaker kelsier]

a v r i e l .

"It's so weird
That we care
so much until
we don't"

It's been a very long time since you've been around someone so well-adjusted. For a moment, you feel shaky, too different. You fill the coffee maker with water as Skyler greets Scout and you wonder when you stopped being a normal teenage boy.

Well, stupid question.

Scout obviously takes a liking to Skyler immediately and starts tugging hard on his pant leg. "It wants you to pick it up," you inform your friend, in case it wasn't obvious. "Probably so it can get on your shoulder." Scout's always liked a higher vantage point.

You set the coffee maker to make enough for the both of you and then lean against the counter, arms crossed. It still feels weird that Skyler is here. That part of your life feels like such a long time ago now. You've had to do things you weren't proud of, that you'd be too ashamed to tell Skyler just to feed your siblings.

It puts a barrier between you.

"Why'd it take you so long to come find me?" you ask him. You won a full year and some change ago. Maybe you just feel bad because it didn't occur to you to seek him out first.

[lance]

S K Y L E R .

You can see why Avriel kept this little thing after his Games concluded - it's a right ball of joy packed into a compact Capitol-designed frame, one of the few things that they'd created that hadn't ended in a slobbering murder machine. It squirms when you pick it up, as requested - not out of any desire to escape, but, from what you can tell, sheer happiness.

The feeling is well reciprocated, and it might have started on being the best day of your summer when Avriel approaches the inevitable.

"Why'd it take you so long to come find me?"

The notebook in your pocket quadruples in density, as do the corners of your mouth, the brief high you'd acquired with Scout crushed beneath the weight of reality. You could tell the truth, a project mixed with nostalgia, but really, wasn't that just an excuse? Hadn't it always been just an excuse?

Nah. Avriel's someone that could see through that in a second, and even if he couldn't, you owe it to him to be completely, unquestionably truthful.

"Wasn't sure you'd want to see me, honestly," you admit after a while, voice low and perhaps just the littlest bit shaky. "You had so much going on in your life, so much attention that I can only imagine was unwanted, that, well." When you laugh, it's an empty, hollow sound. "How would it have looked if an old acquaintance from school you haven't seen in years suddenly showed up on your doorstep weeks after you've become the most famous kid from Nine in two decades?"

Lord knows how many vultures would have tried to descend upon you had you been in his shoes.

elegant