be our guest! { 89.5th finale }

[🌱 kaitlin.]

Your head spins with the force imposed on your little body after being thrust forward through a ghost portal to get here. If you had knees, they would wobble, and your stomach would churn. But alas, you right yourself, float through this strange place, glowing in ghastly green light.

As your heads clear, you see your final opponent.

D4F Da Rules Book
Self-defense
Improv Weapons

D7M Chia Pet
Self-defense
Blades

Good luck tributes! And may the odds be ever in your favor. 

[Tom]

"So it's come to this Chia Pet! You are the last one destined for my Spine HONEYYYYYYY! IT's TIME TO GET BLASTIN!"

Somewhere from deep within the book. Shouts of pain and pleasure sound from inside the book.
The curse of sins glows from the toothbrush. A shout of joy from the furby. A dialup of a phone. A stretching of rubber. This is the final moment.

Rule #000000001: The end is near. The spine will be your home!
Rule #333333333: Welcome to Da Rules, Chia.

(Da Rules D4F attack Chia Pet D7M with Balloon Blaster)
crXRkb29Qsthrowing knife
(Knife Deep in Chest 9.0)

throwing knife

[Deleted]

girl let me get in on this FINALE gig
i never thought i'd be me vs u here in this finale
bc i don't fink

[attacks da rules book]
lFMbbv2Ouwglaive
[]glaive

[Tom]

"LET'S GET THIS BREAD HONEY! ARE YOU A DINKLEBURG BECAUSE YOURE GONNA NOT HAVE A PLACE FOR YOUR TROPHY AFTER THIS BABY!"

Rule #99: I've got many problems, but a bitch ain't one!
Rule #15: You will join my spine!
Rule #94: BE MY GUEST! JOIN YOUR FRIENDS! I WILL DEVOUR EVERYTHING!

(Da Rules D4F attack Chia Pet D7M with Balloon Blaster)
lRxC|jPnB|throwing knife
(Knife in Calf 6.0)

throwing knife

[Deleted]

dear heavens, good gracious
i believe ur fuckin my shit UP!
lord have mercy

[attacks da rules book]
m2EBfV2PMOglaive
[13075 -- Deep Gash on Left Bicep -- 8.0 damage]glaive

[Tom]

"I've had an idea! You are hurting my spine! You're going to release them if you don't join them sweatie. I promise all of the comfort in the world baby! JOIN THEM!"

Rule #69: Hop on this Spine baby!

(Da Rules D4F attack Chia Pet D7M with Balloon Blaster)
11Nr2CbOt|throwing knife
(Deep Gash on Cheek 8.5)

throwing knife

[Deleted]

release them?!
what in the heavens is going on here
i VANQUISH thee

[attacks da rules book]
obxONqJ0WNglaive
[
glaive

[Tom]

"THIS IS THE END FOR YOU! MY SPINE QUIVERS FOR YOUR JUICY GRASS! ITS SO THICC AND JUICY! CMON BOTTOM JOIN THE BOTTOMS IN MY SPINE! IT'S TOASTY THERE!"

Rule #6969: I'm a bad bitch
Rule #420420: Let's get a hit of your thicc grass
Rule #666666: JOIN THE SPINE!

(Da Rules D4F attack Chia Pet D7M with Balloon Blaster)
hcH4usF6_Tthrowing knife
(Deep Gash on Back 9.0)

throwing knife

[Tom]

It's too much.

My spine.

it's consumed too much.

A burst of energy sets forth and all of the souls have been freed.

All of it is gone, but hey at least you still got a crown on your head!

Now to go finish up Da Rules!

Timmy Turner changes the channel.

-The End?-