blue blood cold \ d9 train

[calla]

N O W L E S

The first thing they do is tell me to shut up about the gun.

"But they took my baby!"

It's near tear-inducing. It's apocalyptic. It's the end of the world as we know it.

I'm never ever gonna see Snotslinger again, am I.

I'll have to hold a drive-by funeral, use some of the sponsor money for the flowers, it'll be a whole thing. That pistol had a good run and deserves to go out in style. I'm gonna miss the shit out of it.

I'm planning the eulogy (NOT snooping through the train cars, thank you very much) when the man himself shows up.

He's like, supposed to be able save our lives or something? I dunno, the kid they put beside me looks teeny tiny and I only half paid attention to that speech anyways.

But Avriel Baptiste came home instead of Fleur and I'm still trying to decide how much I actually care about that. If he's chill? Then yeah, sure, water under the bridge, he probably knew my cousin just as well as I did. But if he's a bitch? Well, then Fleur's only gonna be problem number one.

Except that plan does fall short a little. I thought the victors were supposed to be all rich and happy and living fat off their win - then it'd be easier to hate him. Dad says there's nothing a little foundation can't cover, but this guy looks like he just rolled out of bed, got ran over by a truck, and then had to run five miles to get here.

Some competition there, cuz.

"Why do you look like that?"

[doodle :)]

oz

You could have picked anyone.

It didn't have to be Snuff.

It could have been anyone.

The first thing he did when he stepped on the train was ask for a pencil and paper. His fingers itched, kept trembling, the forefinger of his right hand rubbing his fingernail into his thumb. He kept looking down at his hands, his clothes and then around himself, at the Capitolite opulence of the train, feeling more and more like an intruder. Something that wasn't supposed to be there.

So he huddled over the desk, kept his head down, and started to draw, as fast as he could, drawing nothing in particular. Focus on the line -- focus on getting his hand to stop shaking so he could actually draw a real line. Focus on the shape. What would he even draw? He stopped there. What was there even to draw. He never had to think about it before. He usually just did it. Whatever came to mind; he rarely if ever even had to think about it too hard. Now he had to think and he couldn't. All he could think about was how he could have picked anyone. How easy it would have been to not have to be here.

"You're the kind of person who gives up."

"They're gonna crush you, man!"

"Not my baby, anyone but my baby..."

His mother. His friend. His teacher. They really had to do him like that.

Fuck. He wanted to implode. Where was somewhere he could hide? They had to have bedrooms for them, right? Where the hell were they?

He shoved himself away from the table, twisting around quickly, not caring that he didn't know where they were, only knowing that he had to fin themd, the not knowing becoming more an inconvenience as he focused on the feeling of his brain shutting down and going numb. Then he stopped. His eyes landed on her, completely by accident. His district partner. What was her name again? Vaguely familiar, but he focused more on her bearing than who she was. Of whom she reminded him.

Fucking Kevina.

Suddenly, Oz's mind could hear Mya snarling like a rabid animal: "That FUCKING Kevina Martin, I'm gonna RIP OUT HER HAIR EXTENSIONS!" punctuated by the thumps of her thumping those little infantile fists as she pounded the lunch-table. Kevina had been the entire group's personal tormentor (apparently having no other hobbies), but only because Oswald and Snuff hung out with Mya. Kevina never did anything particularly trauma-inducing -- at least, not in Oswald's opinion -- other than make fun of them. The usual middle school bullshit that everyone dishes out and puts up with and then cringes at five years later. It was more Mya that Kevina would prey upon. Mya was vulnerable; she let anything get to her, cried and got violently mad about anything. How many times had he and Snuff had to try to cheer her out of a crying jag because of something FUCKING Kevina did? Infinity, at least.

But Oswald? When Kevina tried to push his buttons -- make fun of his drawings, his grades, his bearing -- he would just make fun of her back. Call her ugly, try to rile her up until she stormed off in a huff, then laugh at her. He did what he always would when he was in a tough situation: joke about it. Because life's a shitty joke anyway except when it fucking isn't, so who cares? Still. He hated the bitch for what she did to Mya.

And this chick? Sure, she was older than Kevin, and kinda hotter, but the way she held herself...the way she talked, looked around...Shit, even her attitude at the reaping screamed Kevina. Kicking at the other girl who volun-told her, the way she acted like she was literally above everything.

Maybe it was Oswald's incoming mental breakdown that drove him to make the comparison. The need for familiarity and stability, to keep him anchored. Maybe because it gave him something to laugh about -- if he couldn't make himself laugh, then get someone else to. Another one of his myriad of coping mechanisms. Just laugh off the heartbreak, until you can't.

He looked at her with wide, round eyes, soft with something almost like love, his mouth twitching into a shit-eating smirk. For the first time in the past hour, he felt almost whole.

Avriel came in -- fuck if Oz could remember which Games the guy had won -- and she laid herself open to it. The way she looked at Avriel, the way she spoke to a fucking victor of all people! (Granted, Oz never really bothered to show much respect to authority himself, it just seemed funny to him.) She practically fell into the trap Oz was waiting to set for her -- and so quickly, too. Total Kevina move.

"Why do you look like that?" Oz demanded, squinting hard and crinkling his face, as though to inspect a pussy zit. "You know, with the..." He waved his hand vaguely around his own face, then gestured at hers. To really sell the illusion, he glanced at Avriel, asking as he pointed right at her: ""Don't you see it? What do you think it is?"

[calla]

N O W L E S

"Why do you look like that?"

"Ex-cuh-use me?"

Hello? The nerve of this kid?

"Listen, twerp," I cross my arms and whirl around to look at him, who the hell does this guy think he is? "I've shot the balls off of guys bigger than you."

Not that that means much - this dude's freakin' tiny. I dunno when they started letting toddlers into the games but wow. Wild that if I wanna come back from this shit show he'll have to die, he can't be much older than Yale.

Aw shit, man, Yale. I forgot to tell them to stay the hell out of my room. If I get back and see any-thing missing from my closet, there's gonna be absolute hell to pay.

Anyways, here's the thing. When your family runs the biggest baddest gang in Nine, people don't get to walk all over you. People barely even get to look at you. Avriel's supposed to be some kinda thug right? Even he's probably worked for my family at some point - everyone has, that's just how it works. We run this place.

And - okay - normally I'd consider myself a reasonable person, right? I don't get joy from kicking babies. But this little shit opens his mouth and suddenly I'm a steamroller.

One leg up and about four inches taller, someone get the bodybag.

"At least I'm not gonna end up pissing myself in the bloodbath." Wait 'til the sponsors get a load of this guy. They're gonna be sending in diapers and bottles. "You should've just stayed home with mommy."

[✌ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ]

a v r i e l

As soon as he gets on the train, Avriel goes to his private car to get Scout comfortable for the journey. His tributes won't be boarding for awhile, they get to say their goodbyes first. Seems almost too humane for the Capitol to allow that.

Avriel moves through empty train cars, hand trailing along tables and rows of seats. There's a density to his lungs, a softness, like he's been sanded down from inside out. All that fear, cutting at him and making him so ragged all week has fallen flat, settled like the dust on the table tops he passes by.

Billie and Duke are safe and that's kind of all that matters to him.

"Here you go buddy," he says and places Scout on the bed in his cabin. The kodama likes making friends but Avriel doesn't want Nowles and Oswald too distracted for their first meeting. He hands Scout his half eaten orange from his suitcase and then sits down beside him, his back against the wall.

Half an hour later, he's waiting in the main car for his tributes to finish getting settled in. These two already feel so different from how Zane and Aneesa were, they're so much younger. Avriel has to figure out how to handle them, he can't just treat them the same. He has to get to know them and that's going to hurt.

This is how it's always going to be. Once a year he's going to have to make space in his heart for two more people, and once a year he's going to have to go through losing them.

Unless one of them wins.

Avriel cringes a little at that intrusive thought. Stupid to even think about that, to even hope. He learned his lesson with Zane, he doesn't need to be shown how much getting attached to that idea hurts.

"Why do you look like that?"

Avriel blinks.

Nowles Adroxis comes at him, all cylinders firing. Avriel can't decide if he's even offended, he knows he looks like shit, before Oswald quickly cuts in with a "Why do you look like that?" thrown right back at her. Damn. Sick burn kid. Back when he was their age the standard was to turn that around and make the diss about the other person's mom. Things have truly changed.

Oswald tries to bring Avriel in on it but Avriel just stares back at him, still trying to decide how chummy he wants to be with these guys. Can he be their friend and make the choices that he'll have to in order to bring one of them back alive? Only one of them can win but looking at District Nine's shit odds, it's more likely that neither of them will.

Nowles makes her retort lightening fast but that makes sense, the Adroxis family is enormous. There's no doubt in Avriel's mind that she has a response for everything.

"Save it for the arena you two," he says, cutting things off before they can keep going, which he's now certain they could do for the entire train ride. "You'll have plenty of time in there to insult people, unless, you know, you both die in the Bloodbath."

Avriel looks at Nowles, "And if you mouth off like that in the training centre, you probably will unless you have the skills to back it up."

He sits down in one of the seats and gestures at his tributes to sit. Up close like this, they look so damn young. A twinge of pain, Avriel reaches down and twists the friendship bracelet around his wrist. They look fresher than Ariel did but there's nothing that he can really do about that except his best to make sure they're ready.

Avriel studies the both of them for a long moment. They're on the lower end of five-foot-something and where Nowles can probably at least shoot a gun, Oswald looks like the most he's done is use a sharp knife at dinner.

Merde.

Avriel's gaze falls on Oswald again. "You ever been in a fight, kid?" he asks.

[doodle :)]

oz

The girl was quick on the draw  -- way faster than Kevina would have been. It usually took Kevina a few seconds to realize that someone was fighting back, but this girl was ready. He flinched at the sheer force with which she spoke, too shocked to process what she was saying at first, but then as the words settled in the surprise gave way to confusion: Shot? Balls? Guys? What?

Frankly, he had no idea what the fuck she was talking about, but for the time being he chose to accept it. She was already rattling off again, that mouth of hers working so fast that neither Oz nor Avriel had a chance to respond: "At least I'm not gonna end up pissing myself in the bloodbath. You should've just stayed home with mommy."

Shit. She got him there. Not the pissing part, but the mommy part.. Because for a moment, without mean to, he quietly agreed with her, and in that same moment there's the memory of his mother crying as she wrapped herself around him in the Justice Building, and when he embraced her back that first electric shock of realization shot into him and made him wonder if he had made a huge mistake--

And then Avriel spoke. Oz glanced up at him, surprised -- trying to "break them up." Great. This guy was gonna be just like Mrs. Priscilla, huh. Always trying to maintain the peace. Truth is, they were just gonna pick right back up the moment he was gone. And Avriel didn't let him get another shot at her! Now she was going to think she won! What's worse was that it sounded almost like Avriel was sticking up for Oz. No no no, the last thing Oz needed was to be seen as a teacher's pet -- teacher's pets always get the living shit kicked out of them. And Oz was going to stand up for himself, he just got a little...distracted...and now that guy took his chance from him. Shit. This was just like school. Barely anything's changed. The Kevinas, the teachers...

Practically huffing, Oz followed Avriel around to the sitting area and flopped down on the couch opposite of the victor's chair, sprawling across it like spread butter, in that loose flopping way kids his age sit. Not really noticing the way Avriel looked at them both, too busy pushing at the coffee table with his feet to see if he could get it to move.

"You ever been in a fight, kid?"

Oz's eyes flickered up. Shit. Avriel was talking to him. Suddenly, that same dread of knowing that a mistake had been made gnawed at him, crawled up and down his back. He glanced at the chick out the corner of his eye and felt a cold bead of sweat roll down his spine, making him want to shiver, but if they noticed that he was hesitating--

"They'll crush you, man!"

As though a button had been pressed, Oz perked right up, back straight, chin tilted confidently. "Oh yeah, hundreds!"

Like that one food fight in fifth grade...

Or that time Gage Rodriguez found out I stole his homework so I had to hide behind the dumpster for half a school-day because he was out to get me...

Or the day after when Gage found me so Snuff had to trip him and sit on his chest until Mrs. Priscilla showed up...

Or that time Kevina caught me by surprise and spat juice in my face so Snuff had to hold me back so I wouldn't slam her face into her locker...(Mya did it for me...)

Or that time me 'n' Snuff 'n' Mya were going to graffiti the reaping stage, but they started grappling me kind of and dragging me home...

Yeah. Plenty of fights.

Plenty plenty plenty plenty.

Funnily enough, his brain had managed to trick itself into believing his own lie. It felt clear, calm, collected -- he even smiled at the other two to show off how his confident mindset. But his heart palpitated. He didn't know why. Literally racing. So fast the smile broke a moment and he wondered if he was going to faint.

That wouldn't do. His heart slamming against his ribs so hard the others could definitely hear it. If not hear it, see the worry on his face as he tried to figure out what the hell was going on -- because the confident smile was breaking. He could feel the muscles loosen, twist, shudder, ready to grimace, but not now, not now...He had to get back his old usually Ozzy self, but how-- And then he side-eyed Nowles.

Perfect!...kind of like her hair...

"I piss on 'em!" Oz looked directly into Avriel's eyes. "It's kinda like -- like those snakes or whatever that squirt blood out their eyes. I'm like that, but with piss." Very casually, he scooted up to Nowles until their knees practically touched. "Pee, everywhere," he assured her, with a knowledgeable head bob. Then he wagged his finger up and down at Avriel, as though it were Oz's place to dispense wisdom. "Plus, we can drink our pee, so if we ever run out of water, all we gotta do is take a leak!" He tipped his head to Nowles again. "Tastes salty. Ever tried it?"

[calla]

N O W L E S

Imagine this kid thinking that Avriel's actually gonna side with him.

Please.

Trust me pal, I've got the skills. It's not cockiness if it's true!

My last name's gonna walk into that Training Centre before I do, those other tributes are gonna see Adroxis and be watching me out of the corner of their eyes all week. So obviously I gotta show off. What's the point otherwise? You don't have to worry about a target on your back if you're quick enough on the draw. 23 other bullseyes in that arena, 23 bullets in the chamber.

Since Uncle Mourn couldn't get me out of this, then I'm gonna do it damn right.

I claim a corner of the couch and kick my feet up for the ride - it's gonna be a long one if I'm stuck in a car with peewee and emo bangs over here.

Short stuff says he's been in loads of fights before, and I scoff. I can't even stop it, it's like picturing a dog on a unicycle - it just doesn't happen. This guy? Oswald? Thinking about him trying to even throw a punch makes me laugh out loud. My own brother could snap him like a twig, and Kade's probably the worst fighter ever.

"I piss on 'em!" Oz says then, like that's a fucking normal thing to say.

I listen to him keep going with the sort of dawning horror that only comes from the slow realization that your district partner's a complete moron. He gets closer and I scooch away, glance at Avriel because are you seeing this? Am I hallucinating right now? Have we all gone insane?

I can't be associated with this kid. Maybe I can bribe the stylist team to switch his 9 to a 6 and we can pretend he's not even with us. God, what if he tries to talk to me during training? The careers would eat that up, I'd never manage to snag a good ally.

Nothing's fair.

The train car goes silent after Oswald's tirade and I stare at him for a good thirty seconds.

"I'm not doing this," I say to Avriel, jabbing my finger in Oz's direction because someone screwed this kid's head on wrong, holy shit, "Not with him."

[✌ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ]

a v r i e l

Avriel's known the bitter taste of regret far too much for someone so young. There have been so many things for him to fuck up in his short life, pieces of puzzles that he shouldn't have even had the opportunity to place. Now he looks back at the picture and sees crumpled corners and a mismatched image, he did that himself, he ruined it.

He never thought that asking Oswald if he could fight would turn into one of those broken puzzle pieces but now here he is, listening to a kid talk about how much he loves to pee on people.

"Yeah that's fuckin' weird, kid" Avriel says. He's still trying to figure out whether or not he's joking, it's hard because Oswald is still to new to him to get a read on and teen boys do a lot of weird shit. "Never thought I'd have to say this but please don't drink your own piss. There'll be places to get water in there." At this point, with Nowles' back talk and Oswald's weird tendencies, District Nine's going to be lucky to make it out of the bloodbath.

Avriel shuts his eyes for a brief moment as Nowles fidgets away from Oswald and Oswald looks too damn... something. Breakable? Like that plate that used to hang in the hall at home before Avriel ran down the hall and it fell and shattered. Kid looks like he's going to fall into pieces at any moment.

He looks at them and part of him wonders why he's even trying. The longer he sits here with them, the more he's going to get to know them. It's just going to cut deeper when they fall.

And they're going to, they always do, everyone Avriel loves. He can't hope for anything else anymore.

"Listen up," he says quietly and looks away from the both of them. That lightning-quick feeling rushes through him, the fear of being seen. He can't connect, he won't. "If you don't take this seriously, you're both going to die."

Come on, Avriel.

He lifts his gaze again, tries to hold eye-contact for as long as he can. "I don't want that."

Nowles looks too much like Fleur. Avriel stands up and walks over to a table in the corner of the car that has an array of treats and beverages. It's easier to hide like this, busy and far away where their innocence can't cut him.

He dumps half a sugar into a cup and fills it three quarters full with coffee. He can hear Nowles and Oswald bickering still behind him and he doesn't know how to explain to them that this train car has seen countless kids just like them and only ever carried two of them back home again in the past fourty years.

He stands there and he looks at them from his place beside a plate of chocolate croissants.

You're both going to die anyway.

"Go watch the reaping in your cabins," he says abruptly. "We'll talk about it tomorrow."

[doodle :)]

oz

To absolutely no one's surprise but his own, Oz was fucking up already.

He'd scared off his district partner, and his first response was to cackle. Relish not only the absurdity of it, but the very fact that HE GOT HER, BOYS! The wretched Kevina-proxy was no more, vanquished, destroyed! Even thought to himself: Wait till I tell Mya about this! totally forgetting, for a moment, where he was, who he was with. For one split, he felt entirely, dangerously at home.

And then Avriel knocked him straight back down.

Mostly, the victor just seemed deeply uncomfortable. Another part reminded Oz of when Mrs. Priscilla tried to tutor him when his English grades started to slip, and she basically gave up on him. "Look, Oz," she had spat, throwing her hands down, "do you want me to help you, or not?"

And then he had blushed and apologized, but for all her efforts she still couldn't help him.

"Dude, it was a joke," he tried to recover the situation, alarmed that his mentor decided to whip out a word like "die" on him. Of course, in his panic to save face, it didn't occur to him that Av was just trying to give him some good advice. "She started it, saying I'd piss myself. I just finished it!"

Made sense to him. At the time.

Of course, it didn't really do anything to change the situation, try as he might.