pity partying [lottie/ellis]

[bailee]

You'd think my cardio would be better after running from law enforcement my entire life, yet here I stood with my lungs on fire after christening the rock climbing wall with my sweat. The trainer stood next to me, eyeing me closely as I breathed heavily against the cool tile of the training center wall. She had told me that although I couldn't always guarantee there would be somewhere to climb, I could always count on there being some sort of mentally and physically tough feat like tackling a rock climbing wall.

Shit, I breathed out in through my nose, and out through my mouth, my lungs hissing with every inhale I took. Guess that's what I get for coming from the District with the worst air quality.

"Do you want to try again?" the trainer asked, gripping the belay in her hands. I held up my hand. "I'll pass, thanks," I told her as my breaths finally calmed into a nice, circadian rhythm.

The past few days have been a blur. I was underperforming at almost every single station, even the easy ones like fire making. I had yet to find friends or allies - not that I trusted anyone around me, but survival always comes in numbers. I had barely even spoken to my mentors or even my District partner - my evenings were spent curled up in my luxurious Capitol bedroom, enjoying the solitude and avoiding the anxieties of the upcoming days.

Avoiding my thoughts altogether, actually. It seemed easier to pretend they didn't exist - my life back home, what devastating acts I would be sure to commit in the future. It was better to pretend I was nothing but an entity floating through time and space - like a simulation without thoughts or feelings or emotions. It was easier than facing reality.

It was how I got through most of the hardships in my life. Turning my brain off and relishing in the numbness of unconsciousness.

But that was easier said than done in the training center - because there were eyes all around, eyes of 23 other kids who were out to kill me. It was hard to think about all the reasons they were here. It made them more human than I wanted.

Everything sucks, I thought, as I turned around to the next person in line for the rock climbing wall. It was the girl from Two. I sniggered. Figures that probably the only person who actually wanted to be here would be eyeing me up like a predator waiting to snap.

Luckily enough for me people like her didn't scare me. At least that was one thing living in the slums trained me for.

"I think Two wants to give it a shot," I told the trainer, maintaining eye contact with the girl, "Don't let the lower district scum get in your way, please," I motioned to the wall and stepped out of the way, a snarky grin appearing on my face.

[gamemaker sloane ♕ kaяi ♕]

It was hard to find freedom in District Two.

Everyone tended to be bossy, even the ones who weren't hired to boss you around. Both glares and curious glances followed her through the streets. Especially when your last name is Bellisario.

Lottie thought maybe she would be lucky here, that there would be even the tiniest ounce of freedom, but of course she was wrong. Her stylist told her how to dress, her Escort told her how to act, and her mentors told her what stations to focus on and who to befriend.

Her whole life she had been told what to do.

And she was tired of it.

The first day or two she listened. Only visiting the stations they advised, the ones of course they knew she would excel in. They wanted to keep a good image for Two. In the process, they neglected to realize that there was more than just two things she was good at.

But she was used to being overlooked.

Today she had enough. It was time to do something fun, something just for her. Most would see it as useless, and she is sure she will get an earful for it later on, but Charlotte didn't care.

She was tired of the rules.

The line for rock climbing was relatively short, probably because it wasn't the most helpful station, but she had always had some of the best times at her training center, so she decided to give it a shot. The only boy in front of her seemed, well, undertrained if she were going to put it nicely. When he finally turned she recognized his face.

Ellis.

His last name escaped her, but she knew enough to know he was from District Twelve, which would explain his lack of lung capacity.

"I think Two wants to give it a shot," his eyes bore into hers "Don't let the lower district scum get in your way, please."

Now she even had strangers assuming what she wanted to do. Every part of her wanted to turn away, but she wasn't one to back down from a challenge. With a polite smile she approached the wall and managed to scale it with ease before dropping down and breaking her fall with a tuck and roll, popping up right in front of the boy.

"Actually, I prefer the word dirt, but that's a nice guess," the sarcasm dripped off her voice as she spoke. "And maybe, you should get to know people before making any assumptions." She was tired of people telling her what to do.

She is exhausted.