lost and found | peter/celeste

[Cait]

celeste brere

The first place I’d visited when I’d arrived in the Capitol was the medical ward.

Perhaps the one silver lining of being in this situation was the impeccable care given to us as tributes. The irony isn’t lost on me, but I’m too grateful to give it much thought. I’d heard too many hometown horror stories of stillbirths and maternal mortality for my liking.

The nurse is gentle yet firm. She doesn’t speak, and I shudder at the thought of the mess in her mouth, the absence of a tongue. But she’s no less of a person to me. She runs tests and pokes at my stomach and takes my temperature and when all is unsaid and done, hands me a piece of paper which confirms my suspicions.

9 weeks. Healthy. A long road ahead.

I know I’m little more than a glorified prisoner whose life is nothing but fodder for entertainment, but something about her warm smile and brown eyes made me feel at ease. Like I was more than just a sacrifice.

For a moment, I almost believe it myself.

I’d ended up in the cafeteria after shredding the piece of paper into tiny, miniscule pieces and setting them on fire for good measure. As much as I wanted to keep the parchment close to my heart, I knew it was too risky. The Avox nurse was no threat to sharing the news, but the physical evidence remained. With the remnants of confirmation going up in smoke, I had promised myself to keep the pregnancy a secret – something I would take to the grave, if I had to.

But decisions you never thought you’d go back on can change like a flash in the pan, I’m learning more and more with every passing minute.

A lone scrap of paper lay abandoned on the table in front of me. I looked around, but there was nobody looking to claim it. I hadn’t meant to intrude – for all I knew, it was just a piece of rubbish someone had forgotten to throw away. But the paper was turned face down and there was no way to know without at least skimming the underside. The weight of the ink came to life in my hands as I started to read the messy handwriting. And a few words had turned into a few lines which had turned into sitting in the cafeteria alone, heart hammering away in my chest at the notion that I might not be as alone as I once thought.

I love you Luca,
Dad.

It’s not signed off with a name, but the clues littered throughout the letter help me decipher the mystery. Teddy, the District Six mentor who was rumoured to be quite close to one of the tributes, Peter. It’s not much to go on, but my gut feeling pulls me away from the cafeteria and towards the dormitories to search for the author of the letter.

Maybe I should have left it where it was to save getting involved. But there’s someone else in here with a family, a child to love and care for, and the thought of never being able to tell them how special they are almost breaks me completely.

That’s why I find myself standing outside of Peter Webster-Văduva’s door, the quiet of the empty hallway creeping up my spine in warning. The plan was to slide the letter under his door and leave before he could even notice the letter was missing – because as much as I wanted to talk to him and understand his story, I felt immensely guilty at having read something so sacred and heartfelt.

Mind made up, I crouch down and reach forward to slide the letter through the tiny gap between the door and the carpet –

– just as the door opens and I come face to face with a pair of scuffed shoes.

[Deleted]

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P E T E R    W E B S T E R - V Ă D U V A

Today was horrible. Last night I had written two letters. One for Luca and one for Sabrina. I was going to ask one of the District Four mentors if they could deliver Sabrina's hers if I died and Teddy to hold onto Luca's until his twelfth birthday. I kept them on me, I didn't trust leaving them alone. Especially Lucas. I didn't care if anyone read Sabrina's, but Lucas was different. That was my son. I loved him, and I was saying I love you and goodbye to him for the first and last time. It wasn't something I wanted anyone else to read.

I searched all over the Training Center for it but couldn't find anything. I hoped some Avox found it and just threw it out or something. Maybe I could try again, write a better version. I could write something less emotional, less messy. I was feeling a bit broken down yesterday when I was writing. Maybe it would be better if Luca didn't know how scared I was. If he didn't know how heart-broken I was at the prospect of never meeting him.

But fate had other plans.

It had to be fate, right? Why else would it have happened? I searched the cafeteria maybe ten times looking for the letter, yet Celeste would find it there? That had to be fate, something pulling the two of us together. Even if we didn't know it yet. Even if I had no idea what secret she was hiding too. Her and I had more in common that I knew, but I was about to find out. Because when I opened the door, there she was bent over with the letter.

"Is that... my letter?"

I froze for a moment, stunned. And then I opened the door wider and moved out of the way so she could come in, "Do you mind coming in so we can talk... please? I just wanna talk. I promise I'm not upset at you for finding it, we just really really need to talk."

She read the letter. She had to of to know who it belonged it. So I had to talk to her. There were things in there I never intended for anyone else to read. Suddenly I felt exposed, naked almost. And I needed to make sure she wouldn't tell anyone what was in it. Do whatever I could to make her swear to secrecy. And then if I couldn't, I'd go find Teddy. See if he had any ideas.

This wasn't about winning the Hunger Games anymore or even living. It was about protecting Luca, doing what was best for him. That letter was only for him, no one else. It was supposed to be something intimate for us, perhaps the only father/son moment he'd ever get to experience. That letter being leaked would ruin that for him. I couldn't let that happen. It's meant for him.

But her bringing the letter back was a good sign at least... right?

I was considering revealing the fact I was expecting a son regardless, but this was different. He could never really hide his relation to me. Sabrina and I agreed he'd have part of my last name and part of hers. And I'm proud of him, even if I may never meet him. I don't want to hide him like some dirty secret. But there's a difference between admitting to having a son and baring my soul to the world. I watched her, my eyes begging her to step through the door.

[ table by fox ]
[ 584 words ]