blueberry regrets.— [shy/freya]
Mar 19, 2022 18:36:37 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2022 18:36:37 GMT -5
I had been avoiding Victor ever since we hooked up. He was a snake, a damn prideful one at that. Even after I broke his ribs he refused to admit defeat until he was unconscious. And the fact I actually slept with him would only give him all the more reason to gloat. Just the thought of that made my throat feel extra dry and the flask in my back pocket was calling my name, singing a siren song.
But the blueberry vodka in that flask wasn't to wash away my own regrets, it was to wash away his.
Even when his name meant nothing, I never really knew Shy Aubergine. I was a year older than him and didn't bother with the younger kids much. And then he got reaped for the first time and I had a whole new reason not to talk to him. He was the kid who was brought back from the dead. And he hasn't been right since. Winning obviously didn't fix that. I wondered if anything would.
I wondered if Victor was right.
Being brought back from the dead fucks you up. And I wonder if me being too nice to my students is hurting them. They still learn the technicalities, but do they learn the brutality you seem to need to win? Would Shy have never died if his trainers were harder on him? Would he never have volunteered in the first place if they were easier?
These were questions only one person in the world could answer, and he was on the other side of that grand door. Maybe. After all, no one had really seen or heard from Shy since he won. Rumours had it he had been trying to die of alcohol poisoning alone in there. Maybe I could help him out a bit.
And so I knocked.
But the blueberry vodka in that flask wasn't to wash away my own regrets, it was to wash away his.
Even when his name meant nothing, I never really knew Shy Aubergine. I was a year older than him and didn't bother with the younger kids much. And then he got reaped for the first time and I had a whole new reason not to talk to him. He was the kid who was brought back from the dead. And he hasn't been right since. Winning obviously didn't fix that. I wondered if anything would.
I wondered if Victor was right.
Being brought back from the dead fucks you up. And I wonder if me being too nice to my students is hurting them. They still learn the technicalities, but do they learn the brutality you seem to need to win? Would Shy have never died if his trainers were harder on him? Would he never have volunteered in the first place if they were easier?
These were questions only one person in the world could answer, and he was on the other side of that grand door. Maybe. After all, no one had really seen or heard from Shy since he won. Rumours had it he had been trying to die of alcohol poisoning alone in there. Maybe I could help him out a bit.
And so I knocked.
[ table by celestials ]
[ 303 words ]
[ 303 words ]
