but he was always so nice [angel/mat]

[Deleted]

( we, the jury, find the defendant... )

Mateus has learned to love his nightmares. Part of accepting yourself for who you are is accepting every piece of you- the ugliest bits, not ignoring but leaning into it. Most who know him call him gifted, a very lucky man, a well-travelled person. Oh the things he must know, the things someone in a position like him must learn as a Commander. His day life feels so collected and organized, each and every duck in a row.

And if they step out... pew! 

Pew, pew, pew, snap - wait, where am I going? He walks with his hands in his pocket, Blanche's lucky locket in the center of his sweaty hand. Mateus always hated meeting new people- ugh. Such a hassle, having to boringly nod along and pretend to understand the stupid little struggles of districters. It's like they don't get it; he's supposed to be a Capitolite. Mateus is a man who was born a victor, but that crown was taken from him.

By Perdita Leto, maybe? He doesn't know who to blame that shortcoming on; but the Leto's, they make themselves such easy people to blame. So emotional, so reactive, so miserable.

It's almost delicious. The dinner, that is. Mateus had recently been employed to take care of some business in District 6, call it a self-mission. Being a Commander, you get to declare your own path of destruction and call it a mission. That, right there, is the benefit of being a peacekeeper, sure he can never have kids, but who fucking wants those? What's a pair of brats going to add to his life besides more stress?

And a lifelong partner. To be tied down seems so cruel, like chopping a good man off at the waist. Mateus had met a cute man though, named Angel, and he did some research and he feels good. Something about this man feels different, and he had never felt so secure to have a public date with another man before. His other partners were cowards, scared for their own safety instead of just letting him have his way - so, so, so fucking stupid.

Mateus isn't like other gay men, he can't put his finger on it.

Instead, he puts his hands on the menu. "Waiter- AYE, I'm fucking talkin' to you. Do you even want my money? Fuck," he barks, on edge waiting for his date to arrive, "get me 3 Corona Lights, I have someone coming."

"3?"

"Did I fucking stutter?" He can't help but stare at some of these idiots. Just get it together man, don't make him repeat himself. "Excuse me?"

"Good lord, don't make a scene. Here," he says, placing an early tip in the waiter's hand and turning back to his menu, shaking. He can't stop his leg as he tries to distract himself with whatever food this place offers; Angel picked the place, and Mateus picked him.

And Mateus is always, always right.

where is he...

[ryan]

you havent been out too much since the election. you knew all too well that was an important time for your cousin, and that going out would have probably turned a couple heads. you cant help but stick out like a sore thumb anymore. losing dymas, and then arc on top of it? most people just felt sorry for you.

it was starting to become quite cumbersome living under the spotlight of the morrisen name. you werent even fully related to anatalia, just someone that she was very close too. maybe this would be the year you try to distance yourself just a little bit. after all, you cannot live under the roof of someone so sporadic your whole life. maybe addison was right. maybe it was time to make a name for yourself.

so after taking arc's dog for a walk along the beach, you decided to put on some nice clothes and go out around the village closest to victor village. you could not lie, you were used to just how lavish the lifestyle annie could live if she wanted too. she always told you, that you deserve whatever you wanted, and you had to indulge, because you did not know when the generosity would end.

it probably would never if you were being realistic.

bad news comes in the form of peacekeepers walking through the town, and you are not afraid of them because everyone knows who you are. annie has made it very clear, she will stick a knife in anyone that would even think to lay a hand on you. that protection could never be bought, though, it also made you a walking target for the right people. you had to traverse every situation with caution, because the last thing you wanted was for your head to end up on a pike.

so you dived into a local cafe for a moment, but this one peacekeeper decided to follow you right in. you were worried for only a moment, moving to the back and sitting at a table just far away from everyone to hopefully blend in. you looked around, trying to avoid eye contact, but they came right up to you.

a conversation later, and now you were getting ready for a date? at least, that is what he tried to call it, you on the other hand just called it dinner. there was something mysterious and intriguing about it, but you couldnt put your finger on it, because at the end of the day, you knew that you shouldnt trust him. you knew his name was mateus and that he seemed to think that you had some sort of mystical aura around you. you couldnt put your own finger on it. maybe it had been so long since you had been on a date, that you were just confused.

at the end of the day, it might have just been free food anyway. maybe an open mind would at least do some good here. you stood by the entrance of the restaurant and took a deep breath, realizing that this might just be the craziest thing you had done in a long time. you had to keep reminding yourself that dymas died almost thirteen years ago now.

this was your chance to move on.

you walked into the restaurant and could feel a tense air about the place. there hadnt been many people sitting around the area that mateus had occupied, and you had a feeling that was on purpose. you walked through and gave a light smile, listening to the waves crash onto the beach. it was a calming feeling. "mateus, good to see you again." you breath in and out like everyone else. "sorry, its been a long while since i had been out in a situation like this." you are nothing but demure and naive, but would anyone actually blame you for that?

probably.