zuri okello, capitol. fin

[🌱 kaitlin.]

zuri okello.
born late summer, year of the 83rd
capitol • daughter of nico thorne • leo

[She] was a fanciful but sensible thing, like a platypus, or one of those sandwiches that had been cut into circles for a fancy tea party. — Maggie Stiefvater

[🌱 kaitlin.]

The thing is, my Mom's a con artist. I don't think that she realizes that, and if I ever said it to her she'd absolutely lose her marbles, but that's life at 7 Lionheart Drive. Yeah, Lionheart Drive. It feels a little cliché every time that I say it, but I'm pretty sure they picked it on purpose. Having house calls to Lionheart Drive, out on the edges on the residential area, with our broken little sign that's been knocked down a few more times than I can remember, well there's something unspeakably charming about it that they're all willing to indulge in. It's got a sentimentality to it that makes her wholesome, cheesy, what anyone would want to hear tarot readings that much better. Mom's even conning herself these days, but she loves me more than anyone else in the world, and that's what really matters. Well, more than anyone, except herself, I think. It's just a constant state of delusional indulgence in her belief that she's parenting me, rather than being my best friend. I don't mind. There's plenty of adults in my life that make up for the things Afiye Okello lacks as a mother. Lacks as a mother. God, it feels like something I should say with air quotes around it, but that would make me feel like a brat, and I'm not willing to behave like that. The women in my life raised me better than that! Calliope, Aunt Florence, even Loretta and her phone sex service line. I'm way to young to know in such intimate detail about how babies are made; none of the other kids my age have the same information I do. My teacher at school made that clear to my mom when I started talking about vaginas in Ms. Owens class, first grade. Human anatomy is important. Mom told them I'm allowed to know what a vagina is; I have one. They told her be that the case, I shouldn't talk about it with my classmates. Mom continued to be upset about it, but I remember putting my hand on her forearm and rolling my eyes. Not worth it. Me, parenting her, reminding her that not every battle is worth her time. That's life. It's just the truth. I don't mind admitting it. Like I said, I love her. She loves me. I'm glad that Loretta was there when I got my first period a few months ago and I wanted to just buy some pads and Mom wanted me to try these reusable ones. They felt like wearing diapers. No, thanks! Retsy understood and went to the shop and bought me the nice thin ones, which is all I need because it has never been anything other than light as hell. Aunt Flo was there to comb out my hair when it got unruly and Mom didn't have the patience to figure out how to do it gently. That one was kind of a hard pill for her to swallow I think, but Mom keeps her hair as short as she can, which is dependent on how often she's willing to beg Flo to cut it for her. Then she ties a knot around her head and that's what makes every outfit. The final touch. I get it. But like I said, I was glad I had Flo. You guys should've seen the look on Mom's face the first time I told her I wanted to try twisting my hair. She balked, and immediately panic looked for Flo. Family hairstylist. Calliope is the one who told me that Nico Thorne is my dad. She's also the woman my mom has known the longest, besides Aunt Flo, who I'm not actually sure is my actual aunt because Mom told me that she was raised in the system. Ego, I'm not sure if that mean she was raised with Aunt Flo, and they see each other as sisters, or if they were sisters who were estranged for years and found each other later, or what, really. Now that I'm thinking about it I want the answer. But anyway, Calliope and Mom met during her waitressing days, before she started working as a maid, which is where she met Loretta. Mom was a shot girl, mostly, and sometimes she worked the door, collecting coats. Calliope always worked the door. I think she liked doing the sex thing in the back room, but I'm not supposed to know that. I just overheard her and Mom talking about it together in the bath one day. Mom pretends she doesn't remember who my dad is, romanticizes him to me and tells me tall tales, as if I'm not going to see through her cons. She knows I do though; that's why she makes them so fantastical. My dad was a musician only famous for a few weeks. A mason who got a job working in the Capitol on a special job, then had to go home to Two. A man who went to join the Peacekeepers, and was quelling violence in Nine. Anything but the truth. I think maybe she doesn't like the truth. But, it is what it is. Calliope told me a few days after I got my first period. I was sitting on the couch with a pint of mint chocolate chip, an empty bowl of popcorn in front of me. The news anchor on TV was making moony eyes at Nico Thorne on the television, and I was grumbling about his stupid shiny face. "What a stupid, fake smile," I bitched. Calliope had burst out laughing. "If only Afiye heard you say that." She raised her eyes at the furrow to in my brows, took measure of the reality TV and the junk food. Decided I needed a dose of reality. "He's your dad." And that was that. I didn't have it in me to ask any follow up questions at the time, and I haven't really since. It's been enough that I have the information, concretely. I'll ask Mom about it again one day, but it's enough just to know for now.

[🌱 kaitlin.]

ripred_bot

[gamemaker 💀 hades lochlan]

the way i could hear her voice so clearly in my head... yeah