boot camp | johnny & flynn

[gamemaker ☢️ ivan korsch]

Exhaling, I throw myself back into the couch, allowing the faded brown leather to swallow me up after an exhausting morning. I have pissed off a few trainers this morning, especially the ones at the first aid station that were demonstrating the perfect ways on how NOT to keep a traumatic injury clean in an arena. I mean I am definitely the most qualified out them all, even without the formal medical training. Somehow, I kept the wound from my missing ear tidy until I left the arena.

There is no time to rest for the wicked though, especially Johnny. I let him join me on the couch after his first morning spent in the training centre. ”You really need to listen more. Not just for me but all the trainers that are actually trying to teach you something.” Yeah I am going to give him a hard time, the fucker deserves it. This is the only way that I can confirm that I have tried my hardest for him, done all I can. Even if it does piss him off.

”Can you remember what you even learnt today? Go on, try and tell me.” I rest my head at the back of the cushioned couch, turning my face towards Johnny’s and we just inches away from each other. I can feel his breaths on my cheeks. ”I bet you can’t describe one edible and one toxic plant.”

Rave

[lionel estrada d5 ᥫ᭡ kiah]

J O H N N Y

The tension between Flynn and I had somewhat eased. I think I owed the trainers in the training center thanks for that. Flynn had let out all his frustration on the first aid station in particular. Watching over the shoulders of the instructors and nitpicking at every little error they made. You could see the instructor's frustrations growing, especially when Flynn grabbed the needle and thread right from their hands to show them the correct way. The instructor looked like he wanted to knock the Victor out, at the very least tell him to fuck off.

I had found it cute.

The key word being had cause now we sit on the couch in our apartment and Flynn was determined to quiz me on the details of the edible plant station.

”You really need to listen more," he adds noting how my gaze had traveled over to the window as he spoke, I was exhausted! I hadn't slept properly in two weeks. My brain was lagging, lagging from my incarceration, from my fight with Flynn, and from the copious amount of information that had been thrown at me from each station I had been dragged to. "Not just for me but all the trainers that are actually trying to teach you something.”

I sigh, pushing myself deeper into the cousins of the couch. It was one of the comfiest couches I had ever sat on, and with each moment I felt myself relax, until my eyelids slid shut, Flynn's voice fading into the background sound.

I could feel Flynn's gaze on my face, and I roll over on my spot on the couch, turning so that my body face his. He said something else, but I wasn't really listening to what he said, my eyes focused on his lips. He sat so close to me. My leg was pressed against his leg, my arm grazing his. We sat so close I could feel his body heat radiating off him in waves.

I grin at him, reaching out I take his hand in mine, playing with fingers that are covered in fine white scars. "Your kinda a dork, huh?"

”I bet you can’t describe one edible and one toxic plant.”

"Flynn Garner, are you flirting with me?" I tease, shuffling a little closer. I play along my voice low, my best attempt at sounding seductive, "hemlock: fern-shaped leaves and white flowers. Cherry's: red, shiny, balls."

Crushed it.

[gamemaker ☢️ ivan korsch]

It is all precious time that I spend with Johnny now, I relish in every second as the clock may well get crushed in a few days. The thought is buried deep, amongst anxieties and an unwanted plan that I have devised pilled up as a distraction. None of this is just for Johnny’s good, the constant nagging and observing is the only way I can cope. It is all distraction.

It has barely been a day but there is already talk. All of it on how I look obsessive and how I am intruding on the training centre. There is another tribute that I am supposedly neglecting but they forget that Teddy is right there. Even some murmurs of concern on how I am for some reason are losing it. The Capitol just does not understand. They are the authors of these crimes but never the victims. They will never understand, Johnny is just a name on their betting slip. Time moves fast in the Capitol; they will lose one year but win the next. While the victims have lost for an eternity.

Again, Johnny seems to be not taking any of this seriously, a reaction to his snarky comments is lost as our fingers connect. I rest my head on his shoulder, sinking further into the comfort created by just being next to him. I could easily remain here forever in this position. Not even a numb butt or aching back will shift me.

Why does happiness always get snatched so prematurely from me?

Everything is moving so fast, everyone growing around me like Dale and my sisters. I do not fit into this place of time. I just want to settle.

”Okay, okay well done. Class is over for today, I am exhausted...” I can already sense what he is going to say next. You are exhausted? The weight of my head feels light on Johnny’s boney shoulder, I shuffle even closer. Now our ankles are kissing each other. ”I am sorry for being so relentless all day, I just trying my hardest for you.”

If I give my all, then I have given everything. But there will always be the tiniest thing I did wrong. To blame on myself if everything does not go the right way. ”Just promise me that you will try your hardest. You are an asshole honestly, but I can’t lose you.” Despite everything. I can’t lose him. Or I’ll lose myself.

Rave

[lionel estrada d5 ᥫ᭡ kiah]

J O H N N Y

I don't need to see his face to know that his eyes had rolled into the back of his head at my joke. They had, evident by the exhausted breath that left his lips as his head falls onto my shoulder. As a child I hated it when my sister used to sleep on my shoulder. It drove me insane, the feeling of being trapped under her. However, as Flynns head grows heavier, the smaller boy sinking deeper into the couch, my body, I feel as though I cant move, scared that the movement might spook him and cause him to pull away.

I liked it and my head tilts back into the cushion of the sofa, Flynn holding my hand tighter. ”Okay, okay well done. Class is over for today, I am exhausted...”

and instantly the words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. "You're exhausted? You?" I asked with raised brows, the corners of my lips hooking up slightly. "I mean, I guess one would be exhausted after the day you had... Bossing, not only me around, but the trainers as well!" My grin grows as I recall the memory of him lingering around the trapping trainer so long that I swear the man was going to call the peacekeepers to drag the Victor out by the ear. To be honest I wouldn't have blamed him if her did. "I was exhausted just watching you!"

”I am sorry for being so relentless all day, I just trying my hardest for you.” He shuffles closer and I wrap an arm around his shoulders, pulling him onto my chest. ”Just promise me that you will try your hardest. You are an asshole honestly, but I can’t lose you.”

The vibe in the room changes. Any humour that had lingered evaporating as the weight of Flynn's words land heavily on my shoulders. For a moment I am silent, holding Flynn against me. I wondered if he would hear my heart beat. Hear how it increased with his words, with anxiety and fear about the uncertainty of the future that awaited me.

Carefully I pull myself from underneath him, shifting our positions so that I could look him in the eyes. My hands cup his neck, one thumb brushing against his cheekbone. "I promise you that this ass hole has no intentions of giving up. I'm not that easy to get rid of, you know," I say through a grin, pressing my forehead against his. "You still have to introduce me to your family first."

[gamemaker ☢️ ivan korsch]

The inevitable exhausted comment slips from Johnny’s lips, I just close my eyes and half zone out of Johnny noting my run-ins with the trainers. Damn it is literally the first day, this is going to get more than just exhausting.

If only I can just capture this moment with us together, freeze us together on this couch. Not one thing can peel me from his comfort right now, not even the motion of needing a pee. Fuck I cannot let go. Never. Time just needs to slow down. My life just needs to catch up. I have known Johnny maybe a year now but now everything seems real between us. Official is what they call it and my stupid ass has waited until he has been reaped to reveal him. To reveal us. Not that I had the choice.

I never want to hide Johnny. Even after what has happened with grandpa.

When Johnny moves, a part of me pleas for him to stay put, worried that he is about flee after my soppy comments. Instead, his hand cups my neck, a thumb caressing my cheek. I bet he can feel the usual burning of my skin as his thumb brushes against it. "You still have to introduce me to your family first."

I do not adjust myself, rather sinking into Johnny’s hold of my face. My lips mirrors his grin but face does drop into a sympathetic look as my secrecy of the two of us is exposed into the air. ”I think the Capitol has revealed everything, nothing can be kept a secret from them.” Yeah it is something I know all too well. ”I am sorry I did not want to ever hide us. It is just I have never done this before. You are my first...you are my first boyfriend. If that is what we call each other?”

Rave

[lionel estrada d5 ᥫ᭡ kiah]

J O H N N Y

I can feel Flynns breath against my face, against my lips, and I close my eyes, breathing him in. For so long I had wanted to be able to hold him like this, to be able to hold him in my arms without fearing that he would bolt. In the back of my mind I still remember the fearful looks he had thrown over his shoulder whenever we were in public, or even near his families home. I remembered how it hurt, and it scared me that at any moment he would remember who it was that I am. The povo with shady dealings with a grandfather that threatened to harm him.

We hadn't spoken about it since the train.

It was just lingering between us, a shadow that was growing like an angry storm cloud threatening to drown us.

The connection between us was too fragile to handle the heaviness of what lurked within that storm. But I think we both knew that at some point we would have to talk about it. Maybe after the games. If I lived. A possibility that was so fucking slim.

”I think the Capitol has revealed everything, nothing can be kept a secret from them.” But is that what he wanted? Was he okay with that? ”I am sorry I did not want to ever hide us. It is just I have never done this before." His words cause a wave of reassurance to rush through me and I a breathy sigh escapes my lips. I think I needed to hear that more than I realised, and I feel some of the tension in my body release. "You are my first...you are my first boyfriend. If that is what we call each other?”

Boyfriend.

I liked the sound of that.

"Are you asking or telling me?" I ask, smiling from ear to ear as I pull back enough to be able to look him in the eyes. Then at his mouth. I wanted to kiss him. Biting my lower lip slightly my eyes dart from his to his mouth once more before I close the distance, pressing my lips to his. My hands move to run through his hair, that messy mop of hair that I loved so much, as I pull him closer. He tasted like the strawberry cheesecake we had had for dessert. And I fucking loved strawberries. .

[gamemaker ☢️ ivan korsch]

The whole encounter on the train seems like it has been left on the tracks, torn apart and run over but has left behind a debris that cannot be ignored. My only knowledge of what Johnny exactly did for my grandpa is just rumors and pieces of intelligence that my family brought together after each of them was questioned. Something about a person to recruit the test subjects that my grandpa used and then someone to dispose of them after the tests. Which one did Johnny do? I have no idea. He is definitely not one of the laboratory assistants, I don’t think he has the brains for that…

All the questions have been pushed to the back of my mind, my focus should be on getting Johnny out of the arena right now. Then I can question him afterwards.

But if I lose him. I will lose all the answers too.

Johnny is good at distracting me.

He shifts back slightly, and I can see all his face in its perfect shape. Taking in the view is cut short as he moves closer to me, those perfect familiar soft lips connect with my own. His hands navigate through my air and mine find their way to his shoulders. In this moment, a lifetime slows down and my heartbeat captures every second that I spend with him. But a question burns through me, forcing me to pull away.

It is the wrong moment, but time is sparce with Johnny. There will never be a perfect moment. I just need to know. I don’t pull back far from him, not wanting to him think that I don’t want to be with him and kiss him. Every part of me wants to continue but the question carries a heavier weight. ”Just tell me what you did for my grandpa, I just need to know. You don’t have to tell me every detail and whatever you did won’t make me think less of you.” Honesty is all I want right now and I just hope my timing will not take us on a wrong turn. ”I just need to know and I want to find it out from you. Not a media piece. But from your lips.” The same lips that I want to close back onto right now but my questioning has probably left behind a sour taste…

Rave

[lionel estrada d5 ᥫ᭡ kiah]

J O H N N Y

His body reacts to me instantly, and I move deeper into the kiss, enjoying the way that the stray curls tickled my fore head. He moves in my arms, his hand clutching at my shoulders and for the first time all day he is quiet, fully focused on the feeling of our bodies pressed together.


Well, I thought he had been.

Flynn pulls away just enough for me to get my breath back, my hands moving to cup his face. to pull him back in for more. But the grin that I wore on my face falters, the excitement of feeling him against me fading as he speaks. He couldn't just let it go. Even now, when my mouth was all over him, my hands eager to explore more.

”Just tell me what you did for my grandpa," it was like a bucket of cold water had been tipped over my head, and I fight the urge to shirt my weight on the couch. An exasperated sigh escapes my lips, he should have been thinking of me, not his grandfather. "I just need to know," he pushes, and I give him a hard look, I didn't want to fight with him. All we had done since I had meet him was fight and make up. Fight and make up. Why could he just let it go? Get caught up in what was Johnny Scaletta and Flynn Garner? We were messy, and it was scary, but it felt so fucking good.

And he liked me. So why was he so eager to sabotage us? Wherever this relationship would lead us. "You don’t have to tell me every detail and whatever you did won’t make me think less of you.”

I run a hand through my hair, folding my arms across my chest, pulling back from him. It was the first time in our whole relationship that I had put space between us. But I was tired- exhausted- and all I had wanted was so spend the evening making out hot and heavy with my boyfriend.

”I just need to know and I want to find it out from you. Not a media piece. But from your lips.”

He's looking at my lips again with that hungry look that was so close to drawing me back in. But I resist, this time pulling myself out from underneath him. "You're not going to let it go, are you?" I say finally, pulling myself up from the couch. "You were kissing me and thinking of your grandfather. My god, Flynn, do you know how that makes me feel?" This time it's me standing over him, hands on my hips, anger simmering in my veins. "You should have been thinking of me! I was sure as hell thinking of you- and all the things I wanted-" I stop myself, sighing heavily.

Flynn had never seen this side of me. I had always been so careful, always the charming, flirtatious, mystery.

"You are relentless."

Moving away I throw myself onto he end of the couch, crossing my legs and staring at him as I tried to decide what to do. How much to tell him.

"The bodies. My job was to make them disappear." Not for one moment does my eyes drop from his face.

[gamemaker ☢️ ivan korsch]

I have ignited a match at the god damn wrong time. Stupid brain that will not just focus on one thing or just shut down for a moment. Stupid, stupid Flynn! Johnny looks pissed as hell, hands on his hips as he towers over me. I do not move, still secured to the couch with just my eyes following Johnny and his new demeanor that I have never seen from him before.

”…my god, Flynn, do you know how that makes me feel?” That is the one line from his lips that stings me the most. So damn stupid I am. Always the wrong time. Always the wrong thing to say but I am scrambling to piece everything together about the boy that I yearn to be with every second of the day. The boy that the Capitol is taking away from me. The boy that lo-.

"The bodies. My job was to make them disappear."

That is, it. That is all I must know. No more questions from me, I can let the new information fester in my mind for later. But now I must patch what I can between us.

”I am sorry. I will stop.” Johnny is sitting on the edge of the couch, the furthest away point from me. I lean across, slipping a little as I tug at his loose shirt. ”Come back here. I am sorry.” Maybe it is pathetic that I am so desperate to resume what was happening moments ago when I hit us with the most awkward intermission. I will not be surprised if Johnny just gets up now and leaves me here flailing as a punishment.

But fuck him, I will show him relentless!

Both hands now grab at Johnny’s shoulders, and I pull. For once my measly strength does not disappoint me, I manage to pull him on top of my chest nearly winding myself in the process. His face is now centimeters from my own. ”You are all I think about everyday Johnny Scaletta. I am all yours now.”

Rave