guided by a beating heart {Mav + Johnny}

[Knuckles]

"The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for."
- Mark Twain

Training is exhausting, but instead of honing his skills, Mav has spent vast majority of the time simply wandering around without a care in the world. Kindness can only carry him so far, but maybe others will see that he's just a bloke wearing his emotions on his sleeve. Having a heart of gold in times like these isn't any good. None of it will change though, and even in the darkest of situations, Maverick wants the light to shine through. Saving Ezera wasn't for show. No, there's so much more to it, and if anyone knew his story, maybe then they would understand why it was so important for Mav to give the kid another chance at life.

Now he finds himself moving through the dining hall looking at tall the food, and it brings tears to his eyes. He has the chance to stuff his face with as much food as possible while his family barely has enough food to have one solid meal a day. So many times, he's divided what they had into thirds so they could eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It's a shame, a disgrace because he's from such a cool district, yet his story is hard, his shoes are beaten and broken. Sometimes all he wants is a chance to explain, to share what he's been through, but what makes his story worse than someone else's?

I'm sorry. He mutters silently under his breath as he piles several helpings of food on his plate. Trying something from every district is important to him, but his mind constantly turns back to the broken dreams of a family back home barely able to fend for themselves.

How can I say I love them when I abandoned them?

Pushing those thoughts away is difficult, it's hard because it consumes his mind when he isn't doing something, and now that he wants to eat, there isn't anything to do to push them away.

What will happen to them if I die?

It's the biggest question on his mind, and even thinking of it makes his knees weak and his stomach churn. Taking care of them is all he knew, and now that he has a chance to see life outside district four, Mav regrets every decision he's made to this point. Life isn't everything he thought it would be.

After piling some sweet potato pie onto his plate, Mav makes his way to an empty table where he sits all by himself as tears threaten to fall down his face. The last thing he needs is for anyone to see him crying. Even the water doesn't taste good, it offers nothing, and it doesn't help quinch the thirst for more.

Thinking about anything else is impossible because right now all he can see is the tear-filled eyes of his siblings and mother as they took their time saying goodbye.

I'm sorry I let you down.

Life is only going to get more difficult from here, but it's up to him to decide which way his legacy goes, and maybe this is where he makes a change. His family is his world, and being seen and remembered as such is the only way to create something for his family so nobody will ever be forgotten.

537 words
table by kap

[k!ah]

J O H N N Y

The food at the Capitol was insane. After years of eating scraps and stealing Mr. Garner's yogurts from the fridge, I was ready to eat as much as physically possible. I wasn't quite sure what I had expected arriving in the Capitol, but it certainly wasn't what was presented. The food had flavours that I didn't even know were possible. The texture was grainy and tough, like the meat from a pigeon, but it was marbled and juicy and it made my mouth salivate. Flynn had neglected to mention the food, or maybe he was just so used to eating well that it was something that hadn't even crossed his mind.

After stacking my plate with an amount of food that I was sure would be physically impossible to get through I look for a place to sit. There was a strategy involved when it came to picking a seat. There was a decision to make: did I sit on my own? Did I sit with Flynn and Teddy? or maybe Ama? Or did I sit with one of the other tributes, start a conversation, and get a relationship forming? With the last option, it came with the risk that that relationship might not be wanted. And that could mean my death is locked in.

Taking a deep breath I walk down towards a table in the back where a lone tribute sits, however as I draw nearer I notice that the boy was dealing with a handful of emotions. Eyes that were bloodshot and glazed over held back tears. My shoulders were tense and instantly I begin to back track. This was a mistake. I shouldn't be talking to other tributes, not like this, not here. I should have just sat down with Flynn and Teddy, or even that weird tribute from 12 who makes my skin crawl a little. I should simply mind my own business.

But the boy looks up and I catch his eye accidentally. Instantly I force a large beaming smile to pull back the corners of my lips. "Hi... you," I start, trying to fish around in my memory for a name, but coming up blank. "Mind if I sit?"

[Knuckles]

"The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for."
- Mark Twain

All he wants is to find a way to escape, to find a reality where none of this exists, yet Maverick knows it's all impossible. Reality is thrown at his face every second of every single day, and even here, everything comes crashing down around him. He's just a person trapped in the midst of a comedy show for the Capitol as they root for their favorites and cry when they die. It's terrible and knowing that it never gets old makes it even worse. Every single year it's the same thing, and now Mav knows he's a part of it. Even winning wouldn't get him away from the spotlight because even the mentors are stuck in this show.

But now he's trying to fill himself up, and the last thing on his mind is how to make it out of this mess alive. Being part of the show isn't a bad thing since he placed himself in it without a second though.

Maybe it isn't too bad.

At least they're being fed well before they're released from their cages like wild animals until only one is alive.

It's hard to understand. Not that anyone even cares when food is placed before them.

Enjoying the food is difficult, but it all tastes so incredible. It's hard, though, to eat his way through it all because his mind turns back to his family. With him gone, though, they'll all have a bit more since his portion can easily be divided giving everyone a bit more of food, but it still will never compare to what he sees here. It's almost disgusting to see how rich these people are. All of this is just handed to them while people in the districts struggle to survive. They don't even care.

They'll never care.

And now he's forcing himself to try to gain some weight because he knows it'll assist him in the games when he's hungry. Eating is a distraction though. It takes away the constant idea of trying to become something better, of learning how to fight and kill. Even holding a weapon will never save his life unless he learns to swing it. Lying can only get him so far. He's not like the others, like Rene, Dyno, Pierce,

He sighs as he picks up another bite of food, but before he can swallow it, Maverick sees someone walking towards him, and he raises his gaze to meet the gaze of the other tribute who says hi and asks if he can sit.

Maverick shrugs his shoulders and wipes his face with his napkin.

"Yeah, you can sit here."

Taking a deep breath, he starts eating again. Sitting in silent is always awkward, but he's terrible at small talk.

I have to try.

"I'm sorry I can't remember your name." He pauses and lowers his gaze because names doesn't matter in a place like this. "But I'm Maverick. From Four. Are you enjoying the food here?"

It's better than nothing, and at least it may get a conversation flowing.

494 words
table by kap