tattered and torn {marauders day 3}

[10th retro gm | paxton hayes]

Seeing the spear enter her chest, seeing the blood gush around the gaping hole, and then watching Dyno deliver the last blow, it's hard to focus, hard to think, hard to do anything, and now all Maverick can do is stare at the blood dripping from the tip of the spear as he runs after Rene. She was so close to dying, so close to going into another world, and it's impossible to even know if she's still standing at this point. While her death has to come, now isn't the time for it. They chose her, they decided it was best to attack her, and yet Maverick sprints uninjured through the beautiful cherry blossom forest. Leaving Dyno behind may have been a mistake, but the man has proven he's more than capable of defending himself.

Isn't Rene though?

Look at her. She's strong and still managed to stay alive despite being hit with some of the sharpest of blades.

But she's hurt, she's suffering, she's bleeding.

Everyone goes through suffering in life, and even before Mav volunteered to place himself into the line of fire, he went through suffering of his own. Jalan and Coltan, they tormented him, brought him down every single day, they made his heart bleed more times than he cared to admit. At least they never made him bleed outwardly.

Pushing those thoughts away is difficult because he came so close to taking the life of another today, and while his attack wasn't the fatal blow, it's still one that brought her close.

Mom always told him taking a life was hard, and yet he never believed her. Why would he? The training academy always made it feel like it was the easiest thing in the world. So many careers have wanted to fight for their honor and glory. All most careers care about, in Maverick's opinion, is bringing home the honor and glory and killing as many as they can.

But why?

Why do they care?

Why do they want to harm people?

What's the point?

Training shouldn't be about trying to kill others. It should be about learning self-defense. That's so much more important than knowing how to correctly hold a weapon. Jalan and Coltan couldn't wait to get into the hunger games, they want to fight for so much, and it wouldn't surprise him if they were back home betting he'd lose. They probably already thought he would die.

A heavy sigh leaves his chest as he keeps running forward listening for any sort of cannon to echo through the sky.

That's when he finds her, Rene, standing there like nothing has even happened. She lost so much blood already, and Maverick knows that taking care of her is important, making sure she's tended to, but he's afraid to approach her and ask her if she needs help. Sometimes it's taken as a sign of weakness, accepting help, and offending her isn't an option. One thing he's learned is that Rene wants to stay to herself. She's strong, and Maverick will do whatever he can to make her feel that way.

Trusting her is important, and doing anything that can make it seem as though he's untrustworthy isn't ideal because she could sentence him to death before he could do anything about it.

"Rene, I'm so glad I found you."

I was scared I lost you.

"I thought I was going to be lost in this forest forever."

Sometimes placing the attention on his negative flaws can make things seems even better, and maybe by doing this, she won't realize how worried he is about her. Instead, he wants her to think that it's his fault for just now finding her.

"With all the trees looking the same and everything."

But the truth is, he just wants to hear her speak. He wants her to acknowledge he's there. Maybe talking isn't always the greatest thing in the world, and maybe he shouldn't have said anything about it. Perhaps she would yell at him for leaving Dyno behind, and if that's the case, Mav deserves it, and he wouldn't shy away.

Without saying another word, he leans back against a tree and slides to the ground. Part of him wants to sob, to feel the grief of losing another soul, but sobbing wouldn't do anything. It's a shame people have to die in this, but it's part of it.

Ezera, I'm sorry. I'm sorry it took me so long to trust you. I'm sorry it took me so long to reach for you.

Volunteering was stupid, but watching Ezera fight through this would've been even more difficult. Finding someone he would lay his life down for became important, and now he wants to do what he can to make sure he gets the chance to see him again. Love is silly and foolish. It makes people do crazy things.

Making it home would mean more than anything because it would finally give him the chance to tell Ezera how he really feels instead of trying to keep those thoughts pushed down.

Now isn't the time though.

Now is the time to be strong.

Now is the time to be brave.

And it's time to show the world that even careers are capable of feeling emotions.

Yael didn't deserve what happened to her, but neither did Duke or the others who have died. Without death, though, Mav would've lost another friend, and that's what weighs him down although he would never admit to it.

credit to griffin <3

gathers things that'll be in maint

[Malachor Erso D2 (Cato)]

I run like I've never ran before, but it's hard. Each breath catches in the back of my throat, branches appear almost out of thin air, and they scratch across my face and body. Neither of those are what makes it hard though. So much blood is caked against my skin, and I can feel some of it still gushing from the gaping holes left by the glaive. I don't know why they chose me, but I hope they're afraid of me now. I looked death in the eye, and I didn't even scream or beg for mercy. Death was beckoning for me to follow, yet I held onto the hopes that I would somehow make it out of this mess alive. Hope is foolish, but sometimes it can help bring people through hard times, and I went through a hard time. Not once did I back down because it isn't worth it. Showing fear only means death will come to me much quicker.

My eyes dart back and forth as quickly as possible to the left and right, and I'm trying to find a place to sit and relax, a place to make sure that my needs are taken care of. I have to be careful with what I am doing because I'm so close to death. Part of me hopes the boys find me, but I don't need them. They stood around and watched as I was torn into pieces despite them doing what seemed like their best efforts to keep me alive. Mav and Dyno know how to fight, they know how to live life the way us careers are supposed to, yet I can't help but think they completely set me up. How can I forgive them? Yeah, I'm alive because of them, but at the same time I'm very much unsure of what to do with them.

But before I can move any further, my legs give out from under me, and I fall face first towards the ground barely able to catch myself before slamming into the trunk of a tree. I'm so tired, my body is begging me to take some sleep, and it's not giving me the chance to choose where I fall asleep at. It doesn't really matter, though, because anywhere is dangerous. I just hope that if anyone finds me, it's Mav and Dyno because I know they won't kill me while I'm taking a rest. Yeah, that's what I'll do. I tighten my grip on the spear, and I move towards the tree, and I curl up next to it without a care in the world, and I drift off to sleep.

I don't know how much time has passed before I hear someone stomping nearby, and then I hear Maverick's voice speaking in the distance, and I'm partially grateful he found me, but at the same time, the guy needs to learn when to be quiet. Sometimes it's too much, but I don't want to say anything because I don't want to make him upset or anything. Instead, I sit up, and I look at him wondering why he's still bothering me instead of relaxing. I need the sleep, and he didn't give it to me. Maybe he'll stay awake again tonight so I can get some sleep. What worries me now is that I don't see Dyno behind him. What if they injured him? What if he's lost? Well, it wouldn't bother me too much because that will be one less person standing in my way at the end of the day.

[Tom]

Blood drips with the petals dancing around him. Pain In The Ass still follows with the light chiming sounds behind him. A sort of normal sound ringing against his ears as he continues to swat at the creature to calm his nerves. Pleased with the day, he can let his guard down for a second. Just a single fucking second. The heavy breath in his throat feels stuck as if he's been holding in everything and let it all flow in the midst of combat. Yael Damaris is just the first of many names to add to his legend, but he can't help but feel the blood on his face drying as a reminder of the blood he's soaked into his hands. There's no difference in his form, his body still feels the same, and he still enjoyed the feeling, but deep down, he feels changed. Almost as if his flesh has become harder, sturdier, or more complex than before. An energized feeling beneath his fingertips, but he can't help the feeling of disappointment in no larger change that he always dreamed of.

In truth, he's number than he expected to be. Born to kill. The grin on his face is replaced with the calm shower washing away the last piece of Yael Damaris from his body; only leaving her pack to be the last thing he has of her memory. Soon enough she'll fade away from the world and nothing will be left behind. Only a tale of Dyno Moreno killing another career from two with the disappointing legacy of another failed chance. A district falling from grace in the eyes of Panem. Step by step, he's lost in the trees. The pink patterned petals dancing in the breeze, moving with almost a critical vantage as he lets his eyes wander from petal to petal. Peaceful in a way, but he knew better than to assume that.

Rene. Maverick.

He needed to find them. Rene was on death's door when he last saw her. Bloodied by Yael and Karl. The twist of annoyance in his head as he lets himself feel something alone. A sort of pride, but also a worry in his gut. They were careers. None of them were meant to care. Sentenced to fight for an eternity. Dyno promised himself to fight forever. Take the crown between his hands and hold it aloft for only himself. Maverick and Rene were just stepping stones in that plan. Only, he can't help but remember the way Karl and Yael's last strikes had dug in to spill more and more blood. The breaking of his mask for a moment, stuck in the grasp of a reality where he'd seen people fight more than they'd shown. Predator turned to prey. Only, she'd survived. Mav survived. He survived.

The echoing pain in his back, blood dripping between his shoulder blades, mixing with his uniform. Katana jammed in deep, but not enough to cause major harm to his body. Dyno could still feel his body weep with the soreness, burn in the feeling. A reminder of how close they all could've been to dying. Only, Dyno Moreno wasn't going to die. Not then. A grin spills on his lips as he approaches a grouping of trees, swearing he can see people in the distance. Hopeful his allies. Mav and Rene left him with the two boys alone. Understandable with the way Rene was injured, but he bites down the feeling of crashing their little home partnership.

Approaching calmly without a care in the world, he moves to the Fours taking in their state. Maverick looks fine. There's a silence in the way he resides leaned against a tree with a thoughtful look in his eyes. Rene seems to be exhausted. Blood soaked wounds that look as if they ache. Dyno takes in the two Fours, watching their movements for a moment before he gives a shrug, sliding against a tree across from the two. His words filled with a teasing amusement as he brings up a small victory.

"Looks like I won the bet."

There's no fire to his words. Not after what had happened. Watching the two guys stand like iron walls between Yael and him. Would Rene and Maverick do the same? Or would they leave him as soon as he's become useless to them? A grim feeling pulls at the edges of his stomach, but he swallows them down. Eyes looking to Rene for a second with a small frown. Something akin to actual worry on his lips before he turns away. Using Yael's bag to escape the feeling and focus on checking his haul.

He's not supposed to care.

They're a means to an end.

Only he pulls the umbrella from the pack, realizing what it's meant for. Looking to Maverick, he lets his eyes take in the blonde career who looked just as strong as before. Weapon still coated in Yael's blood. Voice a gently quiet as Dyno speaks. "Here. You'll need this for tonight." Handing over the umbrella, he can feel his hands tingle with a feeling of care behind them. After the realization, he leans back, focusing on the sky instead. Petals dancing in the wind.

He can't care.

The only victor will be him.

(Dyno gathers stuff, will be in Trib Maint)