counting curses / jf leisure, day 5

[Python]

Death didn't taste the same when she was halfway there herself. When Johnny collapsed, she felt like she could breathe again. Sweat was mingling with blood on her skin, and she could've conjured a potion of exhaustion out of it. She waited for his cannon as the true signal of his demise, and didn't bother chasing Karl as he scrambled away. Abandoning all of Johnny's supplies was exactly what she needed.

She could've spit on his corpse as she walked by. People cared about disrespecting the dead, as if disrespecting the living was somehow less impactful. He had spit in her face like she was nothing, and she used it as a catalyst to end his life instead. She hadn't made it some dramatic revenge story because he dared to deface her. Death tended to be as undramatic as making an egg for breakfast. It just happened. As much as making a spectacle would impress her viewers, she had all of the supplies she needed from sponsors and corpses. There was no need for shows anymore. Shows were distracting, and she couldn't afford distractions.

"Well, that was fun," she said, walking to the demolished tent. Raiding supplies and moving on was in their best interest. She wanted to climb a little further up the mountain before resting again. There was plenty of food and beverage to keep them alive - she just had a bit of a wound problem. By now, she was starting to feel like she was more blood than flesh on the outside.

If Itzal noticed, she pretended not to care. Let him believe she is unbreakable and unbothered. Strength is what one presents. On the inside, she craved a hot dinner, a soft bed, and a hospital. In time, it will come. She sighed through her nose. This was such a long ordeal of suffering, but the end outcome was worth it. She had to remind herself of that.

[marguerite harvard d2a (zori)]

I t z a l

These things that lonely ones do
Baby that's what I'm here for
I'll take care and make all your
Wishes come true
If you want to
Do you want to?

Death sounded smaller than I had imagined.

When Eleven dragged Six out from between us I watched the trail of blood in the grass. You could hear the ragged wheeze gurgle from between the space I’d created under his ribs.

I couldn’t say I’d have done the same for Mirage, even after imagining a thousand other universes, all of them without her having a single thought about dragging my dying body with her.

I put a hand down against the hole in my shirt and pressed my fingers to my flesh. I took a breath then, and felt the sinew and bone expand and contract. I traced a hand up to my heart and felt the steady drumbeat.

When I’d seen the tent along the outcropping of rocks and weeds, I did what needed to be done. Two boys had left themselves open to attack. They’d forgotten this was the hunger games, where whatever we had could be ripped from us at a moment’s notice. And even all that friendship, whatever love or desire – what may have made us feel safe – didn’t mean shit when someone else could rip it from you in a second.

That was the life I’d grown accustomed to, had kept me safe.

Mirage knew it well.

You could try to forget that there were twelve other people already dead. Or maybe try to find another way out of this. Beg for it to stop.

What good had that ever done us?

When you were tired or hungry? When they took from you even when you hadn’t done anything wrong? At least when you chose to do wrong, to hurt someone to save your own skin, you couldn’t feel powerless.

It was the same here.

You could try to hold onto that humanity and stay fragile. That’s when you lost, and hard, like trying to grasp at the wind.

Friends? Or Lovers?

You might as well have signed your death warrant now.

“More fun than I’ve had in days.” I finally spoke. We had been headed up the mountain. A little tap, tap, tap of blood had been easy to follow with Mirage at the front.

She couldn’t have been well enough for another heavy slog up through these rocks.

If I’d been like Karl or Niko, maybe I’d have tried again to stitch her up or wrap her in bandages.

“Except next time maybe I’ll be the one to finish things.” I tugged at the strap at my shoulder. “Anyone you’re looking forward to running into?”

ELEGANT

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