Well Hello Again (d10 train)

[Jorg]

J E R I C H O

The door hisses behind me and Sage, and the following silence is deafening. The silence lingers partly because I’m unsure how I should approach everyone on the train and partially because I’m sure Sage is high, which might not be the worst idea in the world. Wait, no scratch that it probably is. Trying to process the emotions of being reaped while under the influence probably isn’t the healthiest way to handle it. Though some grass might make dealing with the sidelong glances from the Lowes and Emberstatts more bearable. I’m already starting to miss the animals on the ranch; they were always direct and easy to talk with.

“Do you have any more weed to share?” I whisper to Sage as we go to the lounge, grateful to see food already laid out for us. It will give me something to focus on other than the withering side eyes I’m getting from the families. My dad sat me down before I left, telling me to pick and choose when I let my emotions out. I needed to come to terms with the fact that killing another human is different than killing a cow or a pig and that while I may become close with my allies, in the end, it wouldn’t even matter. I would have to kill them to come back home. He also told me I needed to overcome my shame about my relationship with Mason and listen to Mace and Paige. If Andal wasn’t available, I needed to be able to look Mace and Paige in the eye and listen to what they had to say.

Yet I now sit next to Sage, wishing that I could just get high and run away from my feelings. I take a bite out of what apparently is called an amuse-bouche, which I admit is a caliber of food I’m not used to. Mason and I usually cooked home-cooked meals or went to steakhouses. The silence continued to grow, so I decided to bite the bullet, figuring that the best move was to get the awkwardness out of the way.

“So,” I start after gulping down another bite of the food. “I’m not sure saying ’it’s nice to see everyone again’ under these circumstances is appropriate, but it is still lovely to see everyone again.” My voice gave away my trepidation. Why did it have to be like this?

ELEGANT

[ᴥ]

So, I learned I'm terrible at goodbyes.

There's too much of it, you know? (denial&anger&bargaining&sorrow). My siblings all looked like they had lost someone while I was trying to figure out just who that was supposed to be.

I'm not a dead girl but someone who never should have existed to begin with. And they expect me to fight for this fucking life anyway? I couldn't muster up a promise, I only told them that I would miss them.

Because I will. I already do.

That's a feeling I can't quite numb. Especially now that my feet are touching solid ground.

They did manage to smuggle Avi into the justice building and we said our goodbyes. I don't think the keepers caught on until he started screaming. Which is just something he does, it wasn't a targeted attack or anything. Keepers still took it personally. Anyway, I'm on thin ice with those assholes.

Which is why I wince when Jericho asks me - “Do you have any more weed to share?”

My gaze darts toward our guard, and then back to Jericho. "Sorry, man. I'm not sure what you're talking about." I press my finger to my lips, half a smile on them. "Maybe you'll find what you're looking for when we reach the Capitol?" Considering he'll probably try to kill me later, I won't call him a friend.

A buddy, maybe. I could use a buddy.

We sit together on the train. He's eating, I'm still thinking about the fact that I skipped the last breakfast Coin would ever cook for me.

None of this fancy shit looks appetizing.

"I mean I'm pretty bummed about this whole thing."