Never Bow Down (d11 train)

[Cato]

Harbinger Rhodes

Life has been crazy the last few weeks. Vera brought home a newborn baby after her friend died, and I'm still coming to term with the fact that I am a grandfather. Not once did this ever cross my mind, but I figured it would happen eventually. It's tough, and now I have to head back to the Capitol and mentor another relative of mine, and all of this is running through my mind as I sit in the train car watching the world go by. It's the same thing every single year, and I am definitely used to it by now. This year is different though. I feel for Flynn as I've been there so many times since I won the games, and it's frustrating to think that once again my family is being targeted. It's frustrating because my family has suffered so much, and we finally had freedom, but here I am again.

I feel for Ines, and I know that I have to try to help her too. I can't focus all my attention on Marcellus, but I want to. I want him to know that I care about him, and that I want him to come. I do want him home. He's my priority, and it's not fair to Ines, and I know it's not fair to her. I know she deserves better. It's just so frustrating to think that I'm in this position. I can't find the others to help me, and I'm all alone, and maybe I can do what's best and just try to see if I'm capable of succeeding. I don't know though. I try gathering my composure before walking through the train. Maybe I will find them sitting somewhere.

I walk through the dining car first and grab me a glass of water, and then I keep walking through the train to the entrance where tributes enter in. I want to be there when they arrive, if I haven't missed it already. I want them to know that someone nice is waiting for them, and that I care for them no matter what. I have to try and remember what I've been taught. I have to try to help them find the sponsors they need. I need to help them find it all. I drink the rest of my water before setting the cup down, and then I find a seat in the car where they will enter. I know it's not much, but right now, it's the best I can do. The Capitol has it out for me, and I'll be damned if I let them destroy what I've been trying to build.

District Eleven

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[ines izar d11a 🖤 cait]

I   N   E   S

A silver plate stacked to the nines with tarts and cakes sits untouched on the table in front of me. I’ve been glaring at the pastries so aggressively that I’ll probably end up burning five new holes into the donuts by the time we arrive in the Capitol, but I can’t bring myself to stomach even a crumb of the baked arrangement. The feeling of hunger is one of the last things I have of home to hold on to. I’m not ready to let it go just yet.

Satisfied with starvation for the time being and not wanting to tempt myself any further, I move through the empty carriages of the train looking for some sign of life. I’ve been learning that the biggest spaces can feel like the loneliest of places. It’s a sad thought to swallow.

The first – and only – person I run into is a man I’ve seen on television screens my entire life. But in the light of real life, away from the lights and prestige, Harbinger Rhodes is just a guy staring glumly into the once-full, now-empty glass of water he’s nursing. He might look up at me, but seeing someone and seeing someone are two entirely different things. And I needed him to see me.

I grab a porcelain pitcher as I make my way through the cabin and pour more water into his cup before taking a seat across from him.

“Hi, Harbinger. I’m Ines.” I leave our last names out of the formalities but still extend my small hand towards him in greeting. Even though I might be terrified, I still know how to be kind. I want to believe it’s a good thing, but I know where I’m heading.

In the real world, kindness gets you one thing: killed.

I’m not below begging to be saved – in fact, I welcome it. I probably believe in more than most other people; I was the girl who wished upon shooting stars every night at the orphanage until Nekane came for me. I have to trust that that same misguided optimism will see me through this train ride, at the very least.

“I know this must be hard for you.” I want to be brave and certain speaking to Harbinger, but as my throat rasps to life, I feel like nothing more than a silly little girl. Who did I think I was to try and console a hero, when I’m merely a damsel myself? I don’t know how I manage to string two sentences together without completely falling apart in front of him, but I accept the small victory and push through the pain.

“And I know Marcellus is your family, but... you know, I have family too.” I choke on the words, the lies. I feel them sting the air, trying to travel back down my throat to sit in the pit of my stomach where delusion festers. I have a last name that isn’t my own and no way back to the one I was born with. It feels cruel to pretend we are equals.

But it might be the only thing I have to use.

A carriage door slides open – probably Marcellus, maybe Katelyn, a looming presence nonetheless – but I don’t look up to see who it is. There’s too much to say and not enough time for it.

“I just want to know that I won’t be forgotten.” For the first time in seventeen years, I’d finally gotten a taste of what being important to someone was like. To think of my new life hanging in the balance – all those newly opened doors shutting right in my face? It’s enough to fully break my slowly shattering heart.

“Tell me you’ll help me?” I swallow anxiously, scared to go on and scared of what harsh truths I’m about to hear. But I have to know that I’m not going to be abandoned again. “Tell me that I have a chance.”

table: fox

[marcellus rhodes 11b arc]

It's safe to say Marcellus didn't expect a train ride. Or steaks or endless buffets of food. He's typically the Avox of it all. Waiting to serve, tongueless, word is a service, and that's all Marcellus has been lately.

He's not mad about it, though. The service. With it, he has a purpose. And that's all he's ever wanted, despite the idiocy. In the Justice Building, only his new friend found herself inside of his waiting room. It hurt to know his parents never cared to say goodbye. Not that it was surprising - Mom and Dad weren't seeking to rekindle any lost time from his move to his tiny shoe box. It was nice to spend his time, or as much of it, with the one person who does try to care.

She just hugged him. Tight, and he held it like a boy with his blanket. Fearful of losing his protection, his safety net. Marcellus couldn't speak. He was never the talker of the two, so he sits and pours soup bowls. How else is he supposed to live? He feels he's doing good for people as long as he can service. And Marcellus wants to be good. He hasn't seen a lot of it in his life, anyway. Their interactions were short. In the air, a small, uncomfortable mist had started to prod and poke at their arms. It's like that feeling when someone's sweating; it feels all prickly. It seemed unspoken that he wouldn't be able to kill. Marcellus just isn't built like that.

After several moments, he is quick to exit the building and onboard the train. The other two, Harbinger and Ines, seem to have already made their comfortable seats. His cousin wasn't very close to him in terms of relationship. It's hard to trace it back exactly, but he's never cared. There's enough Rhodes to create a nation. But the idea of being stuck with people he's related to wasn't exciting. Mom and Dad were the only references, after all.

The door slides open, a metal gear creating a whizz that seems too mechanically impressive to Marcellus already. He didn't spend much time with technology, so it was newer than some would expect. “I just want to know that I won’t be forgotten.” Was the first words to be heard, and it was Ines, speaking. He respects that. The boy had never considered being remembered or creating a legacy worth remembering. He thinks it's silly to try and make a crown for a fool.

He peruses the cart, looking at the options of food set out, and he begins to understand the small 7-year-old who turns his nose away from broccoli in the soup. It's crafted to perfection (this food, more than his own), yet it doesn't offer the comfort that is being sought in a meal. The prickly, uncomfortable feeling that poisons his arm still lingers as he listens to the girl speak. “Tell me you’ll help me? Tell me that I have a chance.”

He listens respectfully and silently, as his mother always taught him. A child should always respect others. They know more. They're worth more. Provisions to the world are much more important for a boy that can't count to fifty. Marcus didn't feel like he ever had a chance, so it felt only right to let a girl who hoped to have a chance get the opportunity. It made sense. Marcus told his unofficial partner to adorn him in teal, his favorite color. A light blue, it's like the sky and how everything used to feel much more vibrant before his incapabilities shrowded his thoughts.

"You have a chance." He notes, trying to figure out the right words to say. "You want it, which is a good start." Which wasn't the same for him. A small pitcher filled with a sweet, herbal-like drink was on the drinks cart. He thinks it's a tea. Pouring himself a small, iced glass of the substance, he took a chair next to his cousin. He hasn't shared a table with someone of ancient genetics in months.

ELEGANT

[Cato]

Harbinger Rhodes

"Hi, Harbinger. I'm Ines." She holds out her hand, and I offer a gentle shake, and I offer a quiet space for her to speak. A place where it's just the two of us. I know Marcellus may be here soon, but I think for this moment, at least, this space is needed. "Nice to meet you, Ines. I wish it was under better circumstances though." I offer a sad smile filled with sorrow because we both know what this means. We both know that I'm going to try to keep two people alive for as long as I can, and while I want to focus my attention on family, I can't abandon her. "And I know Marcellus is your family, but... you know, I have family too." A lump forms in the back of my throat. It's rough, everything about this is, but I owe it to her. "I know you have family, and I respect you and your family."

I feel for Ines, and I want to help her succeed in the game. I want her to have a fighting chance, and it sucks because I also want Marcellus to make it back home alive. He's my family after all, but Ines deserves the attention from me. She deserves the help. She deserves everything I'm going to help Marcellus with, and I'm going to do my best to help her. I have to. I owe it to her. I owe it to everyone. "I just want to know that I won't be forgotten." Her words hit me hard, and for a moment. I'm not sure how to respond. I'm not sure what to even say to her at this moment, but I can promise her that I will give her the help and assistance she needs during the games. It's not much, but it's better than nothing, and I want her to know that I'm fighting for her too. It's just hard because I have to swallow everything away. I don't want her to feel abandoned or forgotten.

That's when I notice Marcellus has entered the room, and I feel my heart racing faster than ever before. It's hard to look at him knowing he's been sentenced to die, but I have to help him too. I run my fingers over my brow trying to formulate the words running through my head. My mind is racing, and the thoughts are hard to control. Marcellus speaks, and his words are true. Ines wants a chance. She wants to fight. So she has a chance to succeed. She has a chance to do what she has to do in order to make it out of this mess alive. I worry I'll resent her, but I can't think about that today. I can't think about that right now. I shouldn't think of it ever. I take a drink of water and look out the window for a moment, and it's hard not to feel at ease as I watch the trees fly by, and I can see the birds soaring through the sky. It all feels so wonderful, so perfect, but it also reminds me that I'm here.

"Ines, I promise you that I will provide you with the same support I provide Marcellus with." It's the least I can do. "I promise you both that I will do what I can for you." It's not going to be easy, and I've been through this for many years now. Twenty-five years ago I stood in their shoes. I was on the train. I was terrified. I didn't know what to expect especially since district eleven had won two years in a row. I've lost so many members of my family to the games since then, and I know the Izar family has suffered as well. "You both just have to be prepared, and you can't fight the process. Cooperating is important, and I know it's not going to be fun, but it's part of it." I take a look around and it's all too familiar. "Now, what do you all need from me at the moment?" I hate being a mentor and would rather run away, but I know I need to try.

District Eleven

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