carmen castro, district eleven | finished

[d7f amber bosch 🌿 tris]

carmen castro
❁
sixteen



“ i do not like divided hearts;
and if i give mine, i give it whole. ”

— josemaría escrivá

[d7f amber bosch 🌿 tris]

If I try to trace it back to a particular day, I think my love of architecture began during our fourth grade field trip to the Justice Building. I had seen it before, of course, but that was the first time I was able to get a glimpse of the interior. The teacher trusted me to act as an assistant, keeping my classmates in line and focused on the tour, but even I got swept up in the awe of it all. The expansive foyer lined with fresh greenery, the arch of the hand-painted ceiling, the bay windows inviting light to fill every square inch of available space.

It fascinated me how beautiful and intentional all of it was. Every aspect of the structure played a necessary role, coming together to make something that was whole and secure and entirely unique. Geometry was not at all on the syllabus in my early years of schooling, but I wasted no time rushing to the public library and checking out as many books on the subject as I could after that fateful trip. To me, knowledge was the most precious resource in the world, and to create something tangible using that knowledge excited me to no end. I wanted to design something even more impressive than the Justice Building when I was older.

Visiting landmarks became a weekly adventure for me, absorbing all the lore and information on how and why they were created. I even got the chance to speak with a few of the architects, though the amount of them was limited in Eleven. Everything they said continued to enchant me, assuring me that I was on the right path. Bridges, walkways, shelters and housing units; all of these things were like puzzle pieces in the grand scheme of my district. And all at once, the community I had been part of all my life suddenly seemed so much more vibrant and alive. I could see all of it as it was intended to be seen.

I settled on my dreams and goals early in life, and I haven't gone back on them since. Even if graduation is still a couple years away, I know exactly what I intend to do with my higher education. At times, I'm sure my peers find me boring, but I try not to care about opinions outside of my own. At least when they're in regards to me. Of course, at times I can be a little no-nonsense in my approach, but my heart's in the right place. If you are capable of achieving great things, I believe you should always put your best foot forward. And I have faith in people and their capabilities, even if they fail to see it themselves.

Being top of my class and receiving high marks doesn't make me feel like I'm better than anyone, it simply helps me to know that I'm becoming the best version of myself that I can be. Sure, I take things seriously, but as far as I've researched all we get is this one brief life. And I never want to take mine for granted. If people forget the name Carmen Castro after I've unveiled my masterpieces, then so be it, but knowing I've contributed to my home would be the most precious gift of all. I have seen the most luxurious of buildings in Eleven, and I have also seen the most poorly crafted ones. Here, the disadvantaged are not always afforded a fighting chance.

Perhaps it's a tall order, but I aspire to even that gap. Everyone deserves a space that they can feel safe in. And if putting all my focus into my studies helps me get closer to to making this goal a reality, then so be it. The trick is having people in my life that help to ease me out of my obsessive habits when I dive too deep. Bruno, one of the boys in my class I've grown up with, has always done a great job of this, even if at times it's more incidental than anything. Things are warmer when I'm around him, and I can't lie and say his goofball antics haven't grown on me as we've aged. He looks at the world so differently than me, but still with that same sense of wonder.

Just last week, he told me about how he saved a rat of all things, and how it had not-so-accidentally been set free among the inner workings of the school. I laughed, amazed at his bleeding heart and genuine sincerity. He was no star student, but I learned pretty quick that there was no forcing Bruno to be someone he wasn't. Maybe he couldn't understand mathematics and geometric formulas as easily as I could, but that didn't lessen him. He loved in a way that was so pure, open to all, be it man or mouse.

Sometimes I think about my fifteenth birthday, when I intended to just stay home and read all day, and Bruno showed up at my front door with two skateboards tucked under either arm. He invited me to go cruising with him, to show him all the places in Eleven that I loved as he showed me how to skate properly. We spent hours together that day, going from street to street, exploring the nooks and crannies of our home and laughing all the while. We ended the journey with ice cream, sitting on the railing of a bridge and watching the sunset. He wished me happy birthday as we parted ways, and that's when I remembered it was my birthday.

He has this special way of helping me see beyond myself and my ambitions, and I'm grateful. Maybe it's not so bad to stop and look at the wildflowers every now and again, in theory we have all the time in the world to achieve our dreams. And if it counts for anything, at the very least he has given me a new, separate goal that I'm working up the courage to pursue. The spring dance is coming up next month, all the girls are gossiping in the halls and the boys are putting on their best charms. I used to just roll my eyes at their behavior, happy to go stag and enjoy the evening with my friends alone.

But now I'm thinking I might just ask Bruno de Soto to go with me.

[d7f amber bosch 🌿 tris]

dars

[dars]

daughter of athena vibes