Lawm Takaya of District 1 (revised)

[leopardheart11]

Name: Lawm Takaya
Age: 13
Gender: Female
District/Area: District 1
Appearance:

She has wild, tangled, dark red, shoulder-length hair. She has freckles over the bridge of her nose and on her arms. Her eyes are deep blue and sparkle in the light. She is pale and slightly short, and has a high metabolism which makes her permanently skinny.

When her face is neutral, it sometimes comes across as gloomy and moody. She picks the skin around her nails which makes her look like she does more work than she actually does.

She wears a diamond watch which she hides under her sleeve so it doesn't get stolen. She likes to wear trousers that are baggy with lots of pockets and doesn't like to show her legs.

Personality:

She is smart and academically talented. When she is in a happy mood, she can make funny jokes, but when she is angry or sad her tongue can be as sharp as a blade. She believes in herself to do well, but is actually a bit lazy.

She feels quite strongly about the way the Districts are treated and doesn't understand why others can stand by and watch; however, she herself is too weak and lazy to stand up for her beliefs. If there was a rebellion, maybe it would drive her on to make something of herself and help to destroy the Capitol.

Despite her rage for the Capitol, nothing has happened to her to give her reason to think they are evil. She just thinks that they are unfair. Sometimes she wonders if the only reason she hates the Capitol is because of her father raising her as a Career, and she is afraid of them.

She doesn't give a damn about what people think about her, but if people tick her or her friends off she can get pretty nasty. Sometimes she lies when she makes a mistake, because she doesn't want anyone to think that she is unskilled.

History:

Her mother, Bryn Heldalock, left when she was a toddler. Her father, Valor Takaya, who is like a male version of Lawm, raised her as a Career like he was. However, Lawm was never really good at anything except running away. She has high speed and endurance but is weak, which only makes her father train her harder.

Her father is a diamond cutter and he gives Lawm regular lessons. This has developed her aim well.

At school, she has a few friends that she can truly open up to. Her little gang of friends started with two and ended up being four or five.

Lawm is the only one in her neighbourhood to hate the Games and never watches them, locking herself in her room. She spends most time in her room so it is messy beyond repair. She also has a talent for drawing and she stays indoors whenever she doesn't have training.

Codeword: muttations
Comments/Other:

I've revised it... :3

[Prince Inigo]

Hey there. :)

Please add more paragraphs to all sections. The form requires two paragraphs (paragraph = 5 sentences, here) in Appearance and three each in Personality and History. We want to know about your character!

It would be best to write these sentences completely. Complete sentences expand the paragraphs and make the whole application neater and more professional.

This is just a minor bit, but I suggest to use a thesaurus when you get stuck on a different selection of words. I've seen the word 'good' four times in this application, with three of them in the very short Personality section. Using a thesaurus can make you a better and intellectual writer! :D

Please reply back when you have made the changes and someone will come by soon.

[leopardheart11]

Revised o3o

[Deleted]