He was so young | Had such a way to go

[Prince Inigo]

Hey guys. It's going to be rather strange to say this, but I guess I need to explain myself for if I go on some temporary activity absence. I just learned this less than 20 minutes ago, and it's going to be a major impact on my life from here on out. I don't even know if I'll fully recover from it.

My brother, Ryan, passed away this morning. He was just 20 and died from an overdose - my parents say accidental. From here on out, I'm going to be the only and oldest child from this family, considering he was my only sibling. But, yeah.

I haven't cried much for someone who lost their older sibling, but I just did when I told my best online friend. Then stopped. (I feel so heartless). I just, it's shocking, you know? I'll never get to see my bro's smile ever again, and I won't have some familial blood kin until life gets me some.

Shocking. I guess that's how you put my emotion right now. Shocked and in a daze. Yet, at the same time, I know how my life will run. Just going to continue studies and all that.

So, this is just a warning to any temporary absence in me being here. Sorry for this rather sad (or happy) or morbid thing. :/

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[ᕙʕ•ᴥ•ʔᕗ]

Luna, I can truly sympathize. I lost someone really close not too long ago and...well, I'm still trying to get over it.

Not going to lie, but it's hard. Difficult. Sometimes incredibly challenging to be over it. And thinking about it...well, no one ever does get over it. I still have trouble talking to my grandmother, I keep avoiding my cousins, the first thing I did when I saw my mother was cry and avoid her for the rest of the day. I know this sounds....well, sad and hardly optimistic, but I just want to let you know that if something ever stops you, it's normal. It doesn't meant you're weak; you're just still getting over it.

As for not really crying, I always thought I was going to be crying non-stop if a family member died. I burst out for about a minute and then stopped. Not crying doesn't make you heartless; it makes you strong. It's how you are taking the information and how you can handle it. You don't need to bawl like a baby to still feel like you're truly saddened. In fact, not crying is more normal than endless crying. So you're not heartless; you're far from it.

If you need time to be with your family, take it. I didn't do it because I didn't have anyone there for me. So I stayed here as a way to take my mind off of it. But you never really seek closure until you can be with your family and talk about it. It sounds all "Yay! Let's all gather and our sorrows will be gone!" but it's not. It's about being with people who knew your brother just as you did, and who can give you the right kind of support. I'm not saying that we're bad at being supportive; I just feel like your family can do a better job. Don't make the same mistake I did and keep myself away from my mother's side of the family.

I truly am sorry for your loss, Luna dear, and I'm sure we all understand if you need to take time off. And don't worry about any staffly duties; just as you offered to help me out during my time of need, I'm just as ready to help with anything that you might need. I'm already a minion to most of the staff members anyway. xP

[semper]

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[aya]

I'm really sorry to hear that, Luna, and I can't really relate, and I'm not really good — scratch that, I'm horrible with these sorts of things, but we're here for you if you need us. And if you need time off for whatever reason, I totally get that — and know that your post will still be here for you when you want it^^

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[cinder]

Leroy, you inspire me. You're a positive influence in my life and I'm happy to say I know you and those are the words of wisdom I offer you. Apply what I said to your brother - if he's the sort of brother who was such an influence. Even if he wasn't to you, he was to somebody in some way. Value that.

[Tea]

Aw Luna, I'm so sorry. I'm not particularly fantastic at consoling and things like that, but my heart definitely goes out to you<33

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[∂αмєη]

I too fail at consoling, but I'm really sorry for your loss Luna. I couldn't even imagine it happening to me with one of my siblings. I'd break down, and you are very strong to not break down, and that doesn't make you heartless. We've had our differences but I too will be somebody you can talk to if you want me to be. Sorry :(