Developing (Life) [[Shrimp, Chase]] [Finished]

[Prince Inigo]

(To clarify, you two, Chase's advice will be on top of my RPing post, and Shrimp's will be at the bottom. This thread will be really short, as it's just going to be what's my char doing as she's pregnant... unless you two have something in mind. xD )

Lily Cochon
here she is!

Bright, early day called for prominent irritability getting out of bed, a blond girl trying to rid herself of a dull backache by stretching. No matter how many a time she attempted, the minor pain would not desist. Sunshine pouring in through blinds, light exposed the bedroom, the cream sheets, certain objects and furniture, giving life to everything, especially the young lady. She had only planted feet on the floor, sitting straight up, one hand over the mouth, yawning, and the other on the protruding stomach, stroking. Teal orbs rolled down to the hardened, rounded tummy. Her general frame seemed thin; the skinniness did not include the slightly engorged chest and bigger belly. Letting out a neutral sigh, the blond pushed herself off the mattress - with some effort - and wobbled slightly to the nearby bathroom.

During the preparation, a few warm tears would roll down the cheeks, accompanied with a pressed frown. Unbalanced hormone levels and a small drop of sadness brought the same reaction out of the girl. The moments would last no more than a few seconds; but, the higher the amount of melancholy, the more the hot liquid sadness would drip and the moment longer. Following four months of looking in the mirror the steady progress of a bulging gut, she was accustomed to seeing the stomach only grow larger, without the past bouts of surprise and shock. Other than having to slip on bigger pieces of clothing, the District 5 girl did no task out of the ordinary.

Eating, on the other hand, was one action she had to indulge on now. She had acquired both a different - strange - palette and sometimes humongous cravings for foods. Put on one plate would be avocados, clams, and steamed green beans with melted cheese. With a glass of apple juice and milk, the girl was ready to devour, with elegance. In about thirty minutes, the girl had devoured - hesitantly - on the assorted meal; and, with a gentle pat of the stomach, served herself another plateful.

She had done her daily chore of watering the flowers, now adding more backache. The blond put away her trusted watering pail and decided to take a stroll through District 5. Her eyes were focused forward, already trained to ignore others' gazes even before the abdomen growth. Some children - after she walked down a familiar street and spot before the District fence and shed tears - went up to her and asked to touch it; and, though she gave permission, she could not stop the crimson forming in the cheeks. Their mothers would call them over and express the foolishness of her kind. Her kind.

Feet continued to move alternatively until the park was ahead, the children laughing and tagging each other. The energy was the most comforting part for her, the life expressed over one's efforts were paid in nearly a year's waiting and caring without touching. They are initially purely innocent creatures, eventually ruined by life and corrupted peers; yet, their purity was what drew her in. The blond, espying a wooden bench, took a seat and surveyed the little oddballs, attempting to smile simple happiness. She relaxed her back, huffing out relief, placing both hands on the belly. Her eyes watched the bright world, and the skin sensed the wind blowing cold air on her face and through the multiple trees around the play area.

Children were also simple creatures; they could take the poor attempts of playground equipment - a rough plank of wood with two handles, the makeshift see-saw - and have a blast. The girl grinned bigger at their simplicity, which seemed to mimic her own.

(For now, do your average first posting. I want to get a general idea of how you two start off. ^^)

[shrimp]

Sundra Wie

Why is he gone? Why, out of all of the people in District 5, must the tribute be the only person I ever went out with? Why is the only person besides my family that I've ever cared about going to be maliciously murdered by a bunch of insane teenagers?

Why god, why him?

That's what rings through my brain as I drag myself out of the house today. It's been the exact same routine ever since the reaping. Get up, work, go back to my room and either cry or sulk. I haven't drawn in days. My muse is gone; I can't get it back. It just refuses to help me.

My family can tell that something's amiss. They try to coax it out of me, but I don't want to tell them anything. They didn't even know who my mystery date was, let alone that he was going to die in a week. Io's been kind enough to try and help me with my chores, but she just gets in the way. It takes twice as long to take care of the animals. Io fell in a pile of cow manure yesterday, and I had to clean her up. I know she wants to help, but she's only seven.

Besides, nothing can help me, because nothing will be able to keep Trace from dying out there. What will he face? Will the arena be bitterly cold, like two years ago? Will it be a desert? A jungle? The ruins of a city? Will he die via tributes? Muttations? Starvation?

I have to get out of here. My house is eating me alive. Every step I take reminds me that he's taking one of his last. Every morsel of food I eat is one less bite for him. Even when I breathe, I think about how his breaths are numbered.

So I left home today, hoping to get my mind off of him. I doubt I will, but it can't hurt to try, can it?

The park is near the stables. There's a garbage can on its side, a board of wood on-top, creating a see-saw of sorts. There's a bench there as well, overlooking the small hill that the park lies on. Everything is painted in an off-white color. I'd describe it to be similar to the milk that we gather from the cows.

There's already a girl sitting on the bench. But it's not a girl... Is it? No, it can't be, because she's... pregnant? But it is a girl. She looks to be one or two years older than me. Her belly is easily seen underneath the large clothes that she's wearing. Her eyes show weariness, like she's been through numerous hardships, and can't bear much more.

There's nowhere else to go. There are already a few kids on the see-saw. I'm not going to go on a tire-swing or anything; they're too fragile.

So I sit down next to the pregnant girl. For a while we don't speak, but I study her for a bit, in case my muse decides to return, along with a yearning to draw a pregnant woman.

Finally I decide to break the silence. Not because I'm a talkative person, but because it's rude to stare at someone in a curious manner without introducing yourself.

"Hi there... I'm Sundra."

[/blockquote]

[/size]

[chaseee]

We spun like birds on fire right toward the residence,
And I took all that I desired,
Even crooks have to pay the rent.
We swam like rats on fire right,
Right down the reservoir.
We took all that we could carry, but we tried to carry more.

I ran untill I felt as if I could no more. It was upsetting really, how this turned to be. I had gone looking for something exciting, and found it. I had turned my back on it, and fled for the second time just this month. I didn't think I could take it anymore.

A district gate loomed ahead, and, tired as I was, I decided it would be nice to stay a while.
I put my ear near the metal, and, surprise surprise, it wasn't currently on. I put my hands in the rungs, and climbed up, careful to leap over the barbed wire, receiving only mild cuts scratches.

With an OOMPH! I landed on the hard-packed soil. Careful to bend my knees, I fell off my feet, and performed a clumsy somersault, somehow coming to my feet yet again.
I glanced around, and noticed the sign attatched to the gate. 5, it read. So close to home, yet so far away.
I struggled to remember District 5's industry... and failed. Guess I hadn't studied so hard in school after all.

I walked through fields of grass and flowers, still a ways away from town. I liked the solitariness. It gave me room to think.
The Uprising had been a nifty little group, sure. But it had been a tad too hectic for me. People everywhere. Loud fights. Massive disagreements. So I had fled in the middle of the night, heading nowhere in particular, praying I wasn't spotted.
My prayers had been answered.

And you know you know you know it all went wrong.
And you know you know you know it all went wrong.

Finally, I reached paved ground. Tiny shops on the corners were live and well, people rushing in and out in the afternoon rush. The sweet aroma of the bakery filled my nose, making my mouth water. I listened to my stomach rumble, and hoped I would find a can of discarded food around here somewhere.

I walked aimlessly, not at all sure where I was heading, untill a small park came into veiw, crowded with trees and lacking play equipment. The kids still seemed to be having a blast.
I spotted two teenage girls at a wooden park bench, talking. As they came into veiw, I noticed the overly-round belly on the older one. Well, wasn't that just a tad bit odd?

I came up behind them, leaning over so that my lips were right next to the preggo woman's ears.

"I might know a good nanny. Aren't you going to need someone to watch your kid while your off screwing some other unlucky chap?"
I didn't bother to hide the sneer in my voice. Surely by my choice of words she would realize I was making fun of her situation. But honestly, why wouldn't I?

I walk around the back, and plop down next to her, the boards creaking with our combined weight. I turn to the other girl, assuming they're friends. "Don't you just hate it when your best friend turns out to be a slut?"

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

Deep Water, Deep Water
Senseless Denial
I went down like a rag doll as you would, child
Deep Water, Deep Water
Senseless Denial
I went down like a rag doll as you would, child.

[/justify][/size]

[Prince Inigo]

(Chase: You have a sense of description that's simple and refreshing, so that's good. We certainly don't need to be overbearing on details. xD It's good to see that we saw what Annalise was doing before coming to District 5. It's a nice-sized post and encompasses three of the things stressed by the Tutors: description, thoughts, and action. Now, then, let's see on some improvements...

I have noticed you are massive user of commas, and I am too. I love commas; however, I also noticed you use them in awkward, improper places. Commas should be remembered as a short little pause. I'll quote one that seemed awkward.

It was upsetting really, how this turned to be.

This one seems it would be better if it was: "It was upsetting, really, how this turned to be." Try imagining it without that 'really' there.

It was upsetting how this turned to be.

Other than the missing 'out' - which I assume you omitted while writing - it should flow better with commas around 'really' or no commas without 'really'.

You also have this thing of hitting 'enter' once to create something like this:

With an OOMPH! I landed on the hard-packed soil. Careful to bend my knees, I fell off my feet, and performed a clumsy somersault, somehow coming to my feet yet again. <-----
I glanced around, and noticed the sign attatched to the gate. 5, it read. So close to home, yet so far away.
I struggled to remember District 5's industry... and failed. Guess I hadn't studied so hard in school after all.

I don't know what's it's supposed to accomplish, but I think it should be a single form. Like so:

With an OOMPH! I landed on the hard-packed soil. Careful to bend my knees, I fell off my feet, and performed a clumsy somersault, somehow coming to my feet yet again. Recovering from the roll, I glanced around, and noticed the sign attached to the gate. 5, it read. So close to home, yet so far away. I struggled to remember District 5's industry... and failed. Guess I hadn't studied so hard in school after all.

"Recovering from the roll,..." is what I would do to soften the transition.

Perceived a lot of "I, me, my" starters for sentences. This is pretty minor; but, this will make your posting seem much less repetitive and professional: attempt to use different words - only one time - per paragraph. If you don't get what I mean, take a look at my first paragraph. In my first paragraph, for sentence starters, I used: 'bright', 'no', 'sunshine', 'she', 'teal', 'her', and 'letting'. You don't have to follow it this strictly (it would also include not being able to use: 'it', 'the', 'a', 'an', etc), but it will get rid of some repetition. I know I can't expect too much without "I, me, my" - since it is first-person - but I do want to see more adjectives, adverbs, verbs, and other words used first from you.

You have some common spelling errors that have repeated, like 'untill' for 'until'. If you don't get the colored squiggly lines some browsers do, it would be best to just reread or be extra cautious.

Annalise's thoughts and opinions aren't given much explanation or detail, which I think could be one way to make this post bigger. For instance, she found it odd that Lily was pregnant... but there is bound to be some teen pregnancy everywhere; so, out of all the girls she could have seen, why was Lily's odd? District 4 probably also had their share of pregnant girls, so why did a District 5 girl's seem strange?

My suggestions:
-- Removing the single enter key spaces creating those awkwardly formed paragraphs
-- Omitting awkward comma placement. Read aloud to yourself and use commas as pauses if that helps; and, don't forget that you can use long dashes, semicolons, and parenthesis (in their proper uses) instead of commas
-- Expounding/explaining notions, especially if they go against common thought
-- Make smoother transitions between actions
-- Weaning off of the "I, me, my" sentence-starters for paragraph; one do one of each per paragraph if you want, but don't do it anymore after that
-- Minor note: For first-person posts, add the character's full name in each post. It would be a convenience for others in case they forgot who you're RPing as.)

Watching the children playing, the blond girl began to reminisce about her entire life. How the loneliness ate her, the days waiting for a patriarchal figure to return, a mother that had withered too early, times gaining and losing friends - once to death, once to punishment. Called many an insult by now, she could not figure out if she was now immune to such verbal lashes. Children saying that she was a whore's daughter; but, by the context of the story repeated over and over again, her father was a wanderer, a heart that held honesty yet could not stay in a single place, she thought. Sometimes the notion questioning the reason for being tortured came up; but, all this time, she had tried her best to swallow down the sadness, and still continued to do so. Portrayal of a weakling after 17 years was not going to be tolerated.

She did not notice - during her pondering - that an unknown person had taken a seat next to her; and, upon the realization, the girl was started. Compared to herself, this girl - by the looks of it, younger - was slightly taller, which somehow struck a silent funny bone. Sticking out more the pale skin of the face were the beauty marks - the reason for their existence not figured out by the pregnant one. This girl taking a bold seat on the bench with her frazzled the mind, unable to think any words or cohesive thoughts. Feeling unusually awkward about the shock, silence befell, a period of unsettling emotion.

Another courageous action moved the air. Teal orbs took a few seconds to blink as the blond girl received a greeting beyond an insult or implications to degrading her being. Simplicity in the form of a 'hi' and introduction of name-exchange, the entire situation was rare for the girl. A fist rose to the collarbone, weak in energy, sort out of habit. Only after those few seconds of silence were up did the girl attempt to smile truthfully, putting out a toothy grin and a relaxed look. "H-Hi! Nice to meet you, Sundra. Um... I'm Lily." Nod. "Lily Cochon."

Upon spitting words, Lily slowly turned her head, blinking confusion. Eyes widened then reverted back to normalcy. This girl, the blond mentally said to herself, was recognizable; and, she told herself not to blurt anything yet. Sneering, the tone of the newcomer's was, and the pregnant girl treated it as if it was normal play. "No... Well... only a nanny when I go to school, of course. I wouldn't be 'screwing around' other... erm... 'chaps'. Why would I want to ruin their time?" Shaking her head, the blond continued, out of exclamation and surprise than shouting, "We're not friends! We only just met... um... what's your name?"

Strength... I can definitely survive!

(Shrimp: There's less repetition from you, and you have good emphasize on her thoughts and emotions. I liked you showcased her life before she came to the park, that she was slaving over work even when Trace was gone. xD She's sickly worried; it's depleting her of her joy, just like what depression does to people. She seems like a more complex person.

There is a bit of comma placement that seems awkward; but, overall, you showcase a better grasp. You both, however, seem to have forgotten to use more precious, curious semicolons! I'll talk about that in a sec; here, though, the first one here also displays a capitalization error along with a missing comma:

Why god, why him?

Here, it is like you're addressing to the being whereas something like, "Oh my god," is not as direct. Proper comma placement would give: "Why, God, why him?" Think of capitalizing 'god' like 'my father' or 'Father'.

I doubt I will, but it can't hurt to try, can it?

This here could do with a semicolon and a comma; semicolon replacing the comma between 'will' and 'but' and a comma between the 'but' and the 'it'.

I don't see much that you could do, except maybe delve more into explaining what her family is doing. She must have observed their actions and foreseen what they're implying. Sundra said that her family was trying to get in her business; how were they trying to get in her life? Some mothers would try to say things like, "You know, sweetie, you can always tell me anything," or some mothers might just leave their daughters be and wait for them to come to them. I would have liked to see more of how her family was reacting and how Sundra observed them. You did a decent job with Io, but it is unclear if she knows what Sundra is going through. (But maybe that could be because I focused on the personality aspects).

I am curious about her personality. Sundra was shy, I read. Even uncomfortable to talk about to her own family. Her talking to Lily - though they hardly knew each other - seemed a bit random. :3 Of course it could be I don't know if Sundra developed her character with someone else, but it seemed to come off as bold. She even sat next to Lily. As well as explaining about the empirical aspects of her life, if she's going to detract some from the character application, delve deeper in why she is doing something against her shyness. Sundra showed no repercussion of fighting against a personality trait; and, if you explained how she came to introducing herself to Lily, it wouldn't leave a gap to the reader and give her more life, I think.

My suggestions:
-- Work on semicolons, long dashes, the works
-- Go more in depth with what she's observing. Can she see the emotions the other family members are showing? What does she think or how does she feel about them trying to persuade information out of her? Uncomfortable? Even more stressed?
-- Show an internal fight if she's going to go against an established personality trait. It takes some courage to just sit at a bench with a stranger and then introduce yourself. How does she feel after saying what she said?
-- Though losing Trace is the focus of the Sundra, don't let her emotions encircle just around Trace's safety unless she's going to obsess and disregard everything else. Branch out her problem: could she be possibly angry at her folks because they keep wanting to know why she's distracted (due to Trace's reaping)?
-- Minor note: perhaps make her bout of depression be presented by her health habits. She's getting distracted, after all, and might lose the vigor to keep up being good in hygiene. The possibility of losing someone is a stressful thing; if Sundra really cared for Trace, let her body show that. (It is or almost is stressful as having a baby, that's for sure!) xD )

[shrimp]

As soon as I introduce myself, I turn red. Maybe the girl didn't even notice me. Maybe I'm saying hi for no reason. Perhaps the girl will find me to be strange, or she'll realize that I've been intensely staring at her for such a long time that she get unnerved and quickly tries to leave. And if she attempts to leave, what would happen if she were to slip and fall? Would she suddenly go into labor!? I shouldn't have even sat next to her, what was I thinking? Now she's going to go into labor, and it'll be all my fault.But I don't let these conflicting emotions show on my face. I'm trying to act all poised and proper. But I can't help staring at her large belly. Is there really a child in there? It's hard to believe that a kid can grow in somebody's womb. In my opinion, it just looks like the mother has eaten so much in the past few months that the stomach has increased by infinite amounts.

I sigh. I'm not built to talk to people. The only people that I'm able to talk to consist of Io and Trace. And soon, one of them will be gone forever, taken away by these twisted massacres that the Capitol calls a game.

I might as well forget about him. I mean, that's what he told me to do in his interview. But now that I'm trying to forget, the simple memories of him become a burden to bear. Every small minute with him seemed like it would last a lifetime.

Being with him made me realize that I'm a person; that I have feelings. Sometimes, I wondered if I was made on this planet just to work forever, helping the Capitol feed its residents. But after that moment, I realized that it was my life to live. I could do whatever I felt was best, not what my parents wanted me to do. He made me realize that I could make mistakes. I didn't have to be the perfect sister, or the perfect daughter. I could just be myself, because that's what he liked about me.

I realize that the girl's looking at me as well. I assume that she's going to tell me to get lost, that I'm a freak. But instead, she smiles. It's a toothy grin, one that seems like they're actually smiling at you for real - not just out of politeness.

Lily Cochon. That's a nice name. I like the ring of it. The frail flower matches her smile - frail, but beautiful.

But then a face blocks her smile. I hear harsh, condescending words, insults that should not be spoken in front of children.

"No... Well... only a nanny when I go to school, of course. I wouldn't be 'screwing around' other... erm... 'chaps'. Why would I want to ruin their time?"

She ignores Lily's comment and turns to me.

"Don't you just hate it when your best friend turns out to be a slut?" I just gape. She said what? No matter what Lily may have done, she has not acted slut-like at all in the past few minutes that I have known her. But this rude, ignorant nasty girl, one who doesn't even know what Lily has gone through has just crossed the line.

I hear Lily in the background: "We're not friends! We only just met... um... what's your name?"

But I'm not listening to her. Trace's participation in the games has made my temper become much, much shorter. Mother was right; stress really does make someone ugly. There are slight streak marks on my face from the tears that I produce late at night. My skin has broken out a tad bit. But on top of all, I am extremely irritable, more so than a typical pregnant woman.

"You....don't know a damn thing about this girl.... So why, don't you get the hell out of here, and nobody will get hurt." I growl.

[chaseee]

Annalise Chambers
Laughing at the other girl's comment, I turn back to Lily. How is she keeping her attitude in check? Here I am insulting her to her face, and she still doesn't snap back at me, or raise her fist, prepared for a fight. Maybe she's just one of those push-over types.

Turning back to the other girl (I have yet to hear her name), I plant my greatest sneer on my face, my blue eyes flashing with annoyance. "Do you know who the hell I am?" I stand from the rough bench I had been sitting on, and advance on the no-namer. "I have been through hell and back, and you think she has had it worse?" I gesture wildly at the pregnant girl, observing the scene unfolding before her. "I have been through hell and back, so don't you dare say I don't know shit!"

I unsheath the knife I always keep in my handy belt, and raise it to her face. "Do you not recognize this face? You have surely seen me on T.V. before. Isn't everyone supposed to watch the Hunger Games?" I smile, although it is really more like a grimace. This stranger has brought on my dark side. A side I have so carefully kept hidden from the public. If I were to be found by the Capitol, I would surely be turned to an Avox, and forced to work for the lazy Capitolites. Or, would they treat a past victor like that?

I put my blade back in it's holder, and turn away from the girl. "Just don't forget who you're messing with." I make my tone sound sad. Depressed. The images of the arena always come back to haunt me. Although what I have told this stranger is an empty threat, if she were to come onto me, I would surely react.

And that would surely result in her death.

[Prince Inigo]

(Chase: You forgot to code your dialogue. xD Oh, but anyways, you've improved on the sentence starter words, so there was naturally some removal of "I"s in your overall sentences; however, now I notice you don't use much passive. While I understand it's normal to say "I did this" or "he did this" in first-person, this could also remove some usage of "I".

I unsheath the knife I always keep in my handy belt, and raise it to her face.

This is active.

The knife was unsheathed - always kept in its lovely handy belt - and raised to her face.

Passive.

Try less subject focus on Annalise and more subject focus on the object. Passive does sound like a more third-person approach in my example above, but don't forget to take some references elsewhere. Perhaps look over the Hunger Games books again and spot any passive sentences for inspiration.

Now I'm noticing few adjective usage. What's wrong with them, Chase? Use them! They can bring out some flare in your posts.

Not going to go too in-depth since you said this was a crappy post, but here's what you can work on:

-- Again on smoother transitions. Annalise is jumping from one action to the next. Same with her emotions.
-- Adjectives, adjectives, adjectives!
-- Try to go for more passive sentences. Look to first-person books and spot any passive sentences for more help.
-- Don't forget to entail more of her emotional transitions for increased length. Because she got a comment from Sundra, was her heart gushing of negative emotion? You could put in more emotional expressions, like the depression of brows, narrowing of eyes, etc.
-- Minor note: I read from her personality that she's afraid of Peacekeepers. Why was this not mentioned when Annalise thought of being sent back to the Capitol? Arrest would have to do with Peacekeepers.)

Gentleness to devastation, the blond watched as two people she hardly knew had a clashing of opinions. Sundra had stood up for the pregnant one when the newcomer threw degrading words, attempts to smack Lily in the face emotionally. She had done better than herself, even when the insults did not belong to her. Lily took note in the bravery, to guard rather than sit there for someone one hardly acknowledged in the world. Teal orbs blinked rapidly; and, though she wanted to smile for Sundra's willingness to defend a stranger, the overall atmosphere dismissed the notion or energy to do such an action.

Next, the appearance of a blade manifested and was raised to Sundra's face. Lily widened the eyes, grimness smeared all over her own face. Mental shouting to express ceasing any conflict rang in her head, yet the blond did nothing. Words of the stranger kept on going, asking if either had seen her on television; and, to the statements, Lily nodded two small nods full of placidity. Her hand motioned to object, to silently express putting down the knife and threat, but the assumed outsider had already done so.

"Please don't get in trouble again for me..." Lily whispered to Sundra, almost a mutter. She redirected attention to the other girl. This one was much like an animal, in her own sense, but Lily had to reason with herself that could not be her fault. "You were a Victor of the Hunger Games, am I correct? I remember your face from television, but it took me some time to correctly remember." Smile. Following, Lily said with a tone of gentleness rather than all-knowing fact or threat: "But I don't think Victors are allowed in other Districts after the tour, Annalise. I've never heard of such a thing."

Lily continued while placing a hand on her stomach, further instilling her tone of innocence, not trying to pull something harsh: "Shouldn't you leave? It would be bad if the Peacekeepers noticed your face and arrested you. I mean, of course if someone like me recognized you, I'm sure the authorities could as well!" Before stopping for a response, she thought to address one comment that bothered her. "Not to be rude, but... some people have their own painful journeys. I don't mean me, but suffering isn't just to the Victors, you know." She now frowned. "I bet... we haven't seen the ugliest side yet."

Returning to smiling, Lily waited for anyone to reply back while she gave a shrug after.

(Shrimp: Definitely better in explaining emotions and what she's thinking. Great job. ^^ I do like you have left some stuff to the reader to be mysterious; I'm still figuring out what Sundra meant by being a slave to the Capitol instead of 'having' feelings, to live.

Accompany emotions with expressions for more dramatic effect. Furrow brows... uh...

Damn. You picked up fast. Dx (My job has been shot!)

-- Facial/body expressions accompanying emotions

'~' You killed me, Shrimp.)

[shrimp]

On a side note: color change time!:
6d3582 = living1/speaking2
7b75ac = speaking1/living2

sundra was mad and sad and cried because trace died because he kissed a girl and he liked it but she didn't like it and then she as in Ocean, the district 12 tribute killed him, and then sundra is going to take her anger out on annalise because she's going to go all clarisse-like on life and be mad and sad and want to die like Heidi but can't die because she still doesn't want to die and I'm just having her ramble in order to test out these kewl colors see?

"DAMN YOU."

Says Sundra in an extremely non-sundra like tone because she's really really depressed and upset.

----

sundra was mad and sad and cried because trace died because he kissed a girl and he liked it but she didn't like it and then she as in Ocean, the district 12 tribute killed him, and then sundra is going to take her anger out on annalise because she's going to go all clarisse-like on life and be mad and sad and want to die like Heidi but can't die because she still doesn't want to die and I'm just having her ramble in order to test out these kewl colors see?

"DAMN YOU."

Says Sundra in an extremely non-sundra like tone because she's really really depressed and upset.

---

Hmm, I remember her now. Annalise Chambers of District 4. She played the "sensitive tribute" card and got tons of sponsors, thus enabling her to win. Yes, Annalise Chambers is a victor, but then it seemed like she dropped off the face of the earth. And now here she is, ready to kill me if she gets the chance. Well go on, she might as well. Trace is as good as dead anyways. He has to face the Careers. And as strong as he is, he's not trained properly. He'll die. And I don't want to see that.

The ugliest side? Ha. Lily's right. This isn't even close to her ugly side. This is just the spiteful "I'ma go and kill you now" stage. Sooner or later, she's going to reach the epitamy of ugly, and then chop! Off with my head, just like that kid from district 6. That was just... horrifying.

Oh, I know who I'm messing with. But you see Annalise Chambers, you, like Trace Rowgan, have drawn the short stick. Now both of you will have seen the wrath of Sundra Wie. So you better run Chambers. Run far away from here, back to your cozy life in District 4, where you've got everything you'll need to live out your days in comfort and happiness.

I narrow my eyes, and glare at the victor. I'm going to make her apologize to Lily Cochon if it's the last thing I do - who knows? Maybe if I die, I'll see Trace later.

"Yeah Chambers, maybe you should just go. It'd be better for all of us if the Peackeepers didn't notice you. And you know what? You'd better apologize to Ms. Cochon here, before somebody else sees you. It's not that hard to forget a victor's face."

I'm feeling a bit rebellious right now. I think I want to see Annalise's angry phase. Who knows? It might just be cursing. Maybe she's lost her spark. It's possible that she just doesn't want to fight anymore. But this possibility is not likely. I'll probably be wounded in about 5 minutes, if not dead. The grim sneer on Chamber's face just proves my theory.

Well, if I don't get home today, I'll assume that Lily will be able to tell my parents how I died. At least, if Chambers doesn't kill her as well. Then my mother would... well actually my parents wouldn't really care. They always liked Storm more anyways, and they have Europa and Io to take care of as well. I was always the person who got more money on the table. That was it. They didn't think of me as special or anything. And that just hurts.

I'm about to speak again when I hear something. We have regular updates in the square about the games, but to be honest, nobody really watches it. We pretend to go home to see what happened, but no one wants to see death. Except for the gamblers who have their life's savings on the line. So some people watch the games and give us updates - for a fee that is. I had already paid my neighbor to tell me some news. So I see her. She's old but she's hobbling to me like her life depended on it. She knows about my date with Trace, but only because she ran into us during the event. She's very chatty.

But today she looks grim. Her eyebrows are turned upward, and her mouth is shaped into a frown. She looks weary, as if she's seen this happen a dozen times before. But I know what's going to happen before she even opens her mouth.

"Sundra, I'm so sorry."

My fears are suddenly confirmed. Trace Rowgan is dead. Already? It was only the first day. Sure, he wouldn't have won, but he was strong enough to last through day 1! It's... It's not fair. Not fair at all. And I break down. Silent tears run down my face. I try to speak, but all that comes out is one loud sob. Did I like Trace Rowgan? Of course I did. I mean, we went out on a date for crying out loud. But did I love him? I don't know. But it just seemed like we were almost meant to be. But then he got ripped away. And now he's gone.

So why are people like Trace killed while other cold-hearted victors like Annalise Chambers still kicking? Why? WHY? He didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve to be murdered.

And now I'm all alone.

[chaseee]

Annalise Chambers
Anna didn't particularly enjoy being yelled at. There was something about the non-pregnant girl that struck a nerve. How she had so readily came to the stranger's defense. How, without even knowing the girl, she had chosen to take up for her. Anna didn't want to admit it, but she respected that. And if it hadn't have been for the way she had acted before the Games upturned her lives, she might have acted the same.

A ball rolled by, stopping just short of Anna's big toe. She glanced around for the kid it had come from, but found no one really dissapointed in the cheap toy's absence. She shrugged it off, and turned back to the girls before her. The pregnant one seemed alright. Even when Anna had been hell-bent on saying something that would upturn her calm demeanor, she had remained calm and responded in a polite manner.

The way Anna had been acting had not been cool. It had not made people want to be around her. It was just plain rude. She had to wonder why the kids at school had thought her to be so popular then. Why they had flocked the hallways just to get a glimpse of her bouncy curls and flushed cheeks. It hadn't been her at all, really. But her wealth.

Another girl ran up to them. Dirt encrusted woodchips were kicked, spraying every which way across the playground. She went for the girl who had been yelling. The Defender, as Anna would come to remember her as. Just by the look on her face, Anna could tell the girl carried bad news. She said something lost on Anna's ears, and losing interest, she turned to the pregnant one.

"I'm sorry." The remark was so shocking coming from her mouth, Anna had to pinch her self to be sure this wasn't just some mixed-up dream. But, yes. The scene was as real as the other girl was thick. "For-for...everything."

[Prince Inigo]

(Planning on closing up this thread after this post, you two. You two have improved since starting, so the purpose of the thread is complete. Congrats! ^^ You guys were awesome to RP with.

Project Improvement Thread, successful?)

Lily looked back and forth at the two girls, brows knit, a prominent frown plastered on. Unsettling emotions floated in the atmosphere, and the blond lowered her head much like a shameful dog. She had shrunk, going into some little ball. Her hands scratched at each other against her belly, anxious, hesitant. Words clogged in her air pipes, unable to escape as the air seemed to grow danker in awkward quality. Teal irises also noted the background people surveying the little spat between the three females. Some women shook their heads with their children; some men went elsewhere.

Unable to speak out, the pregnant blond attempted to raise a hand in objection, yet she seemed ignored. Sundra demanded that the District 4 Victor apologize; and, while Lily appreciated the sentiment, she could not cease the blood rush traveling to her face, which made the girl try to look away, a deeper frown on. She resisted the urgency to simper or smile honestly. Instead, Lily sat on the bench as such, almost shying away from the matter at hand.

She gaped her mouth slightly as Annalise did as per Sundra's commands. Guilt rose from her heart, and she showcased the emotion by playing with her fingers a little. Along with the action corresponding with surrender, a passerby woman relayed the defending girl a message of sincere apology. Lily tilted her head a tad, yet she held a qualm that inhibited her curiosity to be displayed. This District 5 girl smothered the compulsive inquiry; the woman's tone expressed solemn concern, which Lily did not feel she should intrude upon.

Some feeling dictated that she should not stay, even when her newfound care for Sundra and, perhaps, Annalise was immense. Lily tried to figure out the origin of the internal butting of head, but she tossed attempting to pinpoint to the sound at the moment. Horribleness gushed out from her heart at the notion of leaving the two to their own devices and depressions, but she mentally shook her head. She did not know these girls well enough to suggest anything. Other than the procedure of comfort, she knew absolutely nothing on their mind processes, behavioral patterns, or the like.

After rising from the bench slowly and carefully, Lily said, "It's okay, Annalise. Really! I can't help what others think of me, but I can certainly try my best to smile. I'm really happy, though, that you said sorry." She turned to Sundra with a grin. "Thank you so much, Sundra. It was really nice of you... And if you need any help, you can always come see me. I don't think it's the right moment to ask right now." Turning away, she was ready to take off. "Um... it was nice meeting you two. I hope to see the both of you in the near future."

Though she did not exactly want to, the girl left them alone, an uneasy feeling choking her. Lily did wish they would meet again sometime; her departure was too quick and impolite, she thought.

I'll never be good...

[/size][/justify]

(The thread has ended. Not exactly happy with this because it's not really to her character yet is at the same time, but I hope it suffices. ^^ )

[chaseee]

Is there any way these three can have another non-tutorish thread? I loved RPing with you two, and I adore Lily ^^

[shrimp]

Yeah, I'd be fine with that ^^