//How Long Until I'm Free?\\ [Jen]

[Sunrise Rainier D2 // [Thundy]]

"Look, there's that Eve girl.." A girl's voice said from not far away. Eve didn't look up to see who it was, but by the sound of the girl's hushed voice and the fact that her words were followed by a small rush of girlish laughter, there was a small group of them. They didn't know that she could hear them, but she could hear them loud and clear. Just by hearing the sound of her name, Eve's cheeks reddened slightly and she didn't dare look up in fear that they would notice that she knew they were talking about her. Not that she wanted to hear their insults- every insult always stung her agonizingly- but now that she knew they were talking about her she couldn't turn her attention away.

"Do you think she's.. y'know.. sane?"

"Shh! Lower your voice, she might hear us."

"I don't think she's right in the head. She can never get through a single sentence without stuttering. Have you ever talked to her?"

"Of course not. She doesn't talk to people."

"That's why she doesn't have any friends."

Stop. Stop listening. Eve scolded herself, closing her eyes for a second and tilting her head back. It was always the same way- people talked about her when they thought she couldn't hear them, and goodness knows that they said when she wasn't even there. She was the weird girl, the girl who hardly ever spoke, and when she did speak her voice was tainted with a nervous stutter. Confidence was something that she lacked, especially when dealing with other people. She was the one girl that no one dared to befriend. What kind of friend would she be, anyways? She was awkward to talk to, she was simply plain looking, and she was the outcast. Or so she had heard people saying about her. It was people like them- mostly the whole population- that she didn't talk to. How on earth was she supposed to make friends with anyone if she knew that they had insulted her? It was an impossibility.

The group of girls were still talking about her, but Eve tuned them out as best as she could. Every thing she had heard stung as it always did, and it brought back the same thought that she had wondered almost all of her life: What is wrong with me? She never got into trouble, she was polite and helpful to her family, she wasn't rude, and she worked hard in school. What did she ever do to deserve it all?

Eve set down the book that she held in her hands. She was sitting down and leaning up against a wall of one of District Two's many shops, under the shadow of the building where she could be the most invisible. People were bustling by, most of them teenagers, but other then the giggling group of girls, none seemed to notice her. It was as if she blended right into the background, as if she wasn't even there. With a heavy sigh, Eve brought her knees up to her chest and held her face in her hands for a moment, still trying to block out the words of the oblivious group. A dark, low feeling was circulating through her mind, a feeling of sadness mixed with disappointment in herself and annoyance at the group that wouldn't leave. Any other person might have gone up to defend themselves, but not Eve Renner. Just frail and tired and scared, she would never be able to stand up for herself. Not today, at least.

It was always like that, and it might always be. She wouldn't talk much, she wouldn't have any friends, people would ignore her, they would insult her when she wasn't around or when they thought she couldn't hear, and she was always lonely.

It was like a fact of life. It would always be like that.

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[-xXInverted FlyingJennyXx-]

Jonathan

With the professor gone to the Capitol on confidential business, these past few days have been quite boring. Without his presence and permission, I have no access to the equipment I need to finish our experiment. Besides, the prof said he felt he needed to be here if I wanted to work with the more dangerous extracts and chemicals.

I shoulder my backpack after school and head for the TC. On the way, I visit my parents' friend, an old man who keeps a bookshop. He's always generous enough to lend me a few of his favorite books. I enter, immediately overwhelmed by the comforting smell of dusty old books. The bell on the door jingles, announcing my presence. Jack, the man's apprentice, who's sitting at the counter, recognizes me and calls for Mr. Fleming, who hustles in.

"Hello there, Jonathan," he greets me warmly. "What can I do for you today? Or are you just coming for the books?"

"I'm here for the books, yes, but I also have a favor to ask of you. Which is your most recent volume on medicinal herbs? Amy would like one, but she doesn't know where to look. I told her your shop has everything, but she spends all her time training and does come by."

"Ah, yes. Your sister rarely visits me. She's not the type to read, but when she wins us a victory in the Games, we shall all be very grateful, no?" As he speaks, he walks over to a shelf by the door and picks out a thick tome. Here we are." He hands it to me. I flip through the encyclopedia of herbs and pay, even though Mr. Fleming offers to give it to me for free.

"Don't forget these, child. This one's really good," he says, handing me three novels and pointing to one of them.

"I can't believe I nearly forgot what I was coming for. Thank you, sir."

He grins. "No problem. You come in anytime you feel like it or have spare time on your hands. Tell your parents I said hello, and that I should invite all of you over for dinner sometime, okay?" With a nod, I put all the books into my backpack and leave the store. The bell chimes goodbye to me.

Now for the TC. My bag is now heavier, but it's a good and comforting weight, even with the sun shining so warmly down at my black head. I glance around at the side of my backpack to see if I remembered my water bottle this morning. Nope. The side compartment is empty.

Turned like that, I see someone in the corner of my eye. The streets are rather crowded, so I'm not that surprised that no one seems to notice. There's a girl sitting on the dusty floor, leaning against a store, bunched up hugging her knees. I'm pretty sure she's not one of the few homeless people in our District. No, her clothing gives her away. What's she doing? Doesn't she have anywhere to go, anything to do?

I turn to face her. I hope she doesn't think me weird. A random guy just talking to her. Generally, I don't get to interact with many people--that's Amy's job--because I'm stuck in the labs all day. I don't know how to start, but my curiosity is greater than my awkwardness. I think, how does Amy usually start a conversation? She always says, "Everyone's a human being. I don't care if we're all 'unique and special in our own way'. It's not true. Just talk, and others will understand."

"Hey there," I say hesitantly. I raise my voice above a whisper and ask gently, "Are you alright?"

[Sunrise Rainier D2 // [Thundy]]

People were everywhere, but none other then the few girls on the street that had criticized her seemed to notice her. Eve's book sat limply next to her, the page that she had recently been reading lost when she had set it down (or, more accurately, thrown it down a little forcefully out of slight anger). Raising her head from where it was tucked close to her knees to hide her face, she looked down at it but didn't bother to pick it up again to start reading. Everything had changed from the words that the girls had said about her, and whatever good mood she had achieved at the beginning of the day was ruined.

Picking up her book, she swept the dust off of it, closed the cover neatly, and set it down in a more orderly way. She hid her face again in her knees and hoped that no one else paid any attention to her. She was a slight mess, with her face contorted into a sad expression and her hair uncombed as usual- but it never seemed to bother her until people said something about her. A few moments ago she hadn't cared what she looked like, but hearing the insults and gossip about her made her suddenly self-conscious. No one was watching her, however, so it didn't seem to matter.

Eve sat there for what seemed like hours, but what had to be only minutes. She looked up again and to her surprise (or not) she saw someone looking at her. It was a boy about her age, maybe a bit older. He was vastly taller then herself, she could tell that even when she was sitting down (then again, everyone was taller then her nowadays) and he looked leaner then most of the boys that appeared around his age. Even so, compared to him, Eve was weak and small. Hoping desperately that he wouldn't come over to her and insult her, she looked away instantly and her cheeks reddened out of embarrassment.

Her hope was false, however, when the boy turned to her and spoke. But instead of an insult, it was as if he was trying to be nice. It was new to her, hearing someone say something directly to her other then something rude. Other then her family, no one ever really did that before. Her parents were always kind, her brother was always there for her, but anyone else? It was as if she was everyone's enemy.

"Hey there,"she heard him say (her face was still turned away from him shyly). His voice sounded hesitant and unsure, but it didn't sound rude whatsoever. His voice was also quiet, just like hers usually was when she talked. Despite his calm voice, it was his question that really threw her off. "Are you alright?" His voice was louder then, but still not mean in any way.

But was she alright? Alright was a relative term. She wasn't dying and she wasn't injured. She wasn't sick. She had her family to take care of her and be there for her. She had her future ahead of her, she was going to be a doctor like everyone else in the District. She had a lot to look forward to. Despite all that, she didn't have any friends, really, and she was never in the best of moods because of it.

Forcing herself to look up at the boy, her cheeks were still a bright shade of red and her gaze was weak and embarrassed. She wasn't sure what to say, but she spoke anyways.

"Umm.. k-kind of.." Maybe it was polite to say her name, but she was too afraid to. She was too afraid to do anything but look away again, which she did.

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[-xXInverted FlyingJennyXx-]

Jonathan

She looks away at first and blushes. What now? My own cheeks are starting to get a little warm, too. All I'm wondering is if she's alright. People don't usually sit on the side of the street. People, as far as I know, train like crazy or go shopping or hang out with friends or talk about the Games or, if they're like me, stay in the labs all day with professors and work out new remedies for ancient illnesses.

Her blue eyes are glossy and so saddening in her pale, thin face. I hope I don't look startled. Do I know this girl? I might have seen her before--but I don't actually know that many people because I spend all my time in the labs or the woods, making concoctions.

"Umm... k-kind of..." She turns her gaze back to the ground. In this situation, I know exactly what Amy would do. Fine, be that way, don't talk to me, I was just trying to be nice, she'd say, and walk away. I'm not Amy. This girl isn't arrogant--she's far from it. Her eyes tell a sad story, and the fact that she chose to sit out here in the street instead of spend time with her friends says something about her.

I decide that she's just shy or wants to be alone. I don't want to leave, though, not yet. I'd have to go to the Training Center, and I really don't feel like it. I never really do. I set my bags down carefully on the sidewalk and, watching to make sure I don't startle her, settle beside her, leaving much room.

"Well, I'm glad of that, I suppose," I say, not certain how to continue. "If you don't mind, I'll just stay here for a while. Otherwise, my sister wants me to go to the Training Center with her, and that's the one place I dread going." Without waiting for her to wave me away, I stretch out my legs and say, "I'm Jonathan Meridian. Just call me Jon, I guess. It's what my sister calls me. Or if you're not as lazy as her, you could go for Jonathan. I answer to both. I also answer to the Med-Head, but that's only something silly my lab partner came up with because I spend so much time working with the profs on medical stuff all day."

I force myself to shut up. Why am I so talkative today? I need to get out more and seek more company, is what Amy says, but no, working with chemicals and plants is so much easier.

Before the silence gets too awkward, I say, "So, that's me. Jon the talkative silly lab kid. What's your name? Why are you out here alone on this wonderful day?"

It's wonderful enough, I suppose. There are a few clouds in the sky, and a few gentle breezes tease my hair this way and that until my hair gets so confused each strand decides to tangle with the others and mess everything up. The sun's not as harsh as it can be on some days. There seems to be a storm cloud coming on the horizon, though. I wonder how Prof is doing and whether the Capitol is experiencing similar weather. Even though there's only one district between us, we live so differently from those in the Capitol. When Amy came back from the Capitol Gala, she had so many stories to tell about the absurdities of the Capitol. Mayhaps she elaborated and added a little of her bias into her stories, but since I haven't been and I doubt I'll get the chance to go, I guess I'll just have to take her word for it. It's hard to imagine that Grandma lives like that. She's a really nice person, though, and not at all as extravagant as others Amy mentioned.

My thoughts wander, and I don't know if I've missed what the girl says. I hold my peace, though, and just sit back and try to enjoy the brilliant spring afternoon as best as I can, sitting on the curb next to a girl I don't know, and breathing in the perfume of street gunk.

[Sunrise Rainier D2 // [Thundy]]

Eve didn't dare look towards the boy once more, so she kept her gaze strongly averted towards the ground. What would he think of her because she spoke? Of course he heard her stutter, he would think she was some kind of freak. Maybe it was running through his mind that she was an antisocial, stuttering, weird girl, and that it was better to ignore her then to step any closer and make any attempts at conversation. It's what most people did, after all. Even if she couldn't ever truly know their thoughts, she had heard enough people talking about her behind her back. She knew what the general gossip was, what people said about her. It wasn't often that she met someone who wasn't like that.

So she was surprised, when instead of looking away from her and briskly walking away, he actually took a seat next to her. Things just never happened like that. Never before, at least. Taken by complete surprise, she took her gaze away from where it was intently directed towards the ground and stared up at him in blank shock, and beneath their plain blue depths she was unsure of what was going on. Why didn't he leave? Why was he sitting next to her? It didn't make any sense to her, the one person who was such a stranger to being around people. This was a rare occasion, and she had absolutely no clue how to handle it.

"Well, I'm glad of that, I suppose," He said to her, and she felt worse again when he paused and had to think about what to say next. Was she really that difficult to talk to? She didn't even want to answer that question- she already knew the answer. Ignoring her own thoughts, she tried to pay as much attention to this stranger boy as possible without having to look away from his face as she always did when she looked at people. It was painful to keep her gaze strong and unrelenting towards him, as it was polite to do when someone was talking (even if she was extremely nervous and dying to look away from him).

"If you don't mind, I'll just stay here for a while. Otherwise, my sister wants me to go to the Training Center with her, and that's the one place I dread going." Eve was hurt for a second, thinking that what he meant was that he had nothing better to do, so he might as well sit there and talk to her. She shut that thought out of her mind quickly, however, because it wasn't often that someone made an effort to sit down and talk with her and be nice to her.

She stopped and thought about what he actually said for a moment, realizing that he had said something about the Training Center. Did that mean that he was a Career? No, he couldn't be. He didn't seem at all like the kind of boy to be a Career. Maybe his sister was because she wanted him to go, but he could not be. It seemed impossible- he looked more like the kind of boy who was interested in medicine, not the Hunger Games. Plus he didn't appear to be very strong, and definitely not violent like some of the Careers-in-training she saw walking around.

She was about to say something to him (she was now curious, and that empowered her ever so slightly), maybe she would ask about his sister, or why he dreaded going to the Training Center, or say how she didn't mind him being there all that much. She didn't know him, no, but he seemed nice enough and he was someone to talk to. Goodness knows she rarely had anyone to talk to. Though before she could speak, he spoke again and she looked up at him once more as well as she could, trying to keep her gaze from faltering.

"I'm Jonathan Meridian. Just call me Jon, I guess. It's what my sister calls me. Or if you're not as lazy as her, you could go for Jonathan. I answer to both. I also answer to the Med-Head, but that's only something silly my lab partner came up with because I spend so much time working with the profs on medical stuff all day." So Jonathan was his name. Without actually consciously making the decision, she knew that she would call him Jonathan rather then Jon, because nicknames always seemed pointless to her. Then it occurred to her that she was correct about him being more interested in medicine then the Hunger Games, which meant that it was probably his sister who was the Career-in-training. Eve almost smiled at the thought that she was correct, but all it did was bring a small flicker of light and excitement back into her slightly lifeless blue eyes.

She didn't want him to stop talking, she wanted him to tell her more. Sure, it was true that she hardly ever got to talk to people, but actually talking scared her. What would people think of the things she said? Listening, however, was something she highly enjoyed, and listening to someone who was actually pleasant made her day quite a bit brighter. A feeling of disappointment flooded through her right after he stopped talking for some reason and turned his attention to her. She knew even before he said anything that it would soon be her time to talk, and that was what she most dreaded.

And then of course, that time did come when he spoke again, but this time he wasn't talking about himself. He was asking about her. "So, that's me. Jon the talkative silly lab kid. What's your name? Why are you out here alone on this wonderful day?" Introductions of any kind were, of course, extremely difficult for her. Meeting new people in general was a challenge. It was because of that that it took all of her strength and willpower then not to look away, because for once it was her time to speak. He was nice enough, and she couldn't ruin this just because she was afraid to say her name. 'Stop being foolish, now' she silently told herself, and it was with that tiny bit of enthusiasm that she looked at him more strongly and spoke, even without stuttering.

"I'm Eve Renner.. Her new strength did not, however, keep her from pausing, "And, well, why would I not be sitting out here alone? I'm always alone. Just the thought made her look away again, just as nervous as she was just a moment ago before she had spoken. She was an antisocial freak, and her words were not making it seem any better.

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[-xXInverted FlyingJennyXx-]

Jonathan

The girl actually keeps her glassy faded blue eyes on me as I ramble, though she looks like it's the last thing she wants to do. I understand, to some extent, but I learned a long while ago that if one doesn't talk to others, the only people to keep one who spends all day in the labs company would be the rats. Based on my evaluation of the human brain, it's unhealthy to live one's life alone. I recall that day when my professor first showed me the parts of the brain and explained that to me.

She introduces herself and pauses a slight bit before saying, "And, well, why would I not be sitting out here alone? I'm always alone."

Her tone is so sad, so despairing, a little desperate for company, but I don't know if she'd approve of my pitying her. She pretty much radiates loneliness. I start to find myself more interested in her, rather than speaking to her with the greater purpose to avoid training. Ooh, Amy might get angry. Shall I let her know now, or later? Now, I decide.

Now, what? I had let my barriers go free for a while. I'm still not very good at controlling that yet when I'm out of the labs and about.

Nothing, nothing. I probably won't be able to make training today--

What, Jon, again? What's your excuse this time?

Hey, hey. I'm just letting you know. Tell you later. I shut her out of my head consciously and think back to the kind old man who taught us that. It can get quite noisy sometimes in my head--I can feel her and hear her thoughts sometimes.

I glance at the girl sitting beside me--she doesn't look like she can be older than me, now that she's actually facing me as I speak. It may be my imagination, but I think she's trembling, just a little. Maybe I just sense her trembling.

She doesn't say anything more. She just looks away again now. It's just the tad bit awkward, but I don't show it as I say, "Eve Renner. Nice name. It's the same forward and backward. What was that called again? Same thing as the whole "Mr. Owl ate a metal worm" bit? Ah, well.

"And, you're always alone? Because you choose to be, or just because? I'm alone a lot, too--actually, no, I have lab rats and bacteria samples to keep me company--but it's my own choice. Sometimes, I get really lonely, though. That's why I just randomly talk to people like how I am to you--please don't be offended or think I'm strange or anything, I'm really not. I just get a buildup of thoughts to share and need for company after too long in the labs. I love my work, but still..." Part of the reason I like my internship so much is because of the peace and quiet it provides. I need time to think and to process everything that's going on in my life. In the labs, I shut out Amy best. In the labs, I can just enter smaller worlds or pour chemicals into little vials, creating new things and helping people.

"I think that personally, I choose to be alone much of the time because people are so complicated. A microscope is so simple in comparison; chemical equations are so routine. It's soothing. People, though--well, they're just too complicated. They say one thing and mean another, they can never decide whether they want to be your friend or your enemy, there are just too many layers." I haven't talked this much in a long time. This girl, though her sad eyes are a little unsettling, actually cares to listen to me ramble meaninglessly. She has the patience to hear me out. For that, I suppose I'm grateful.

[Sunrise Rainier D2 // [Thundy]]

There was something about people that Eve hadn't really discovered before then. It was obvious that she never took much time to look at people, but rather she spent more time completely avoiding any glances towards them. But now that she was actually taking her time and trying not to look away once again, she found that it was interesting to observe him. She wasn't used to reading the expressions on others' faces, but now that she was looking at him she found it to be a relief. Usually she could only guess what it was that people thought of her- and most often she drew the conclusion that they thought she was weird- but actually looking up at his face and paying attention was almost just as good as if she could tell what he was thinking.

Then again, what she was seeing on his face was what got to her. His gaze was fixed upon her, and he was observing her as well. He looked as if he felt bad for her, and this sparked a feeling of anger that was unfamiliar to her. Is that why he came over here? Because she looked alone and weak and sad? That fact should have been obvious to her from the beginning, but now that she saw it clearly on his face it really dawned on her. He was here because he pitied her. The anger that ran through her mind was so new to her that she wasn't sure how to handle it, though she wanted to stand up and walk away completely, despite the situation. For once, someone was being nice to her, and she wanted to leave.

Even so, she didn't move an inch from where she was sitting. Her expression probably showed that she was slightly irritated, but her anger fizzled out just as quickly as it had come upon her. Instead of leaving, she did nothing but sit there and turn her attention back to him as she had before. Now that she saw the pity on his face, it was all she really saw when she looked at him, and that almost caused her to look away for the billionth time. She forced herself to not waver her gaze as he spoke, even though she was dying to turn her eyes away and hide her face.

"Eve Renner. Nice name. It's the same forward and backward. What was that called again? Same thing as the whole 'Mr. Owl ate a metal worm' bit? Ah, well." She couldn't control the slight fact that she was flattered that her name seemed interesting to him, because no one else ever really thought it to be impressive. More often then not it was the center of her criticisms, coming from the people who were most amused by pushing her around. Her name was actually the product of her parents' odd obsession with palindromes, though she didn't mind much. A name was a silly thing to judge from a person, so she neither took pride nor shame in it. Her name was her label; just something that people could call her by if they bothered to remember it. When she was criticized, her name was the last thing she worried about. For a split second she absentmindedly shifted her gaze away from him. She realized that something he had said was incorrect, that the palindrome he had said wasn't correct. She wasn't foolish enough to point that out, so she just said nothing and moved her gaze back to his face as he spoke again.

"And, you're always alone? Because you choose to be, or just because? I'm alone a lot, too--actually, no, I have lab rats and bacteria samples to keep me company--but it's my own choice. Sometimes, I get really lonely, though. That's why I just randomly talk to people like how I am to you--please don't be offended or think I'm strange or anything, I'm really not. I just get a buildup of thoughts to share and need for company after too long in the labs. I love my work, but still..." That's why I just randomly talk to people like how I am to you--please don't be offended... Eve wasn't sure if that reassurance was supposed to make her feel better or worse, but she was slightly relieved that maybe he wasn't just talking to her because he pitied her. Then again, he wasn't talking to her because she was particularly impressive, either. She was just someone to talk to, though that was alright for her. Someone to really talk to was a rare thing for her; she decided that she couldn't be picky about it. It made her feel slightly better to hear that he most often spent his time alone as well. He needed someone to talk to, and she was that person. The idea brought a wide grin to her pale face.

"I think that personally, I choose to be alone much of the time because people are so complicated. A microscope is so simple in comparison; chemical equations are so routine. It's soothing. People, though--well, they're just too complicated. They say one thing and mean another, they can never decide whether they want to be your friend or your enemy, there are just too many layers." Eve's smile widened even more, hearing that come from him. The truth in his words was incredible to her. Not that she could entirely relate- she didn't choose to be alone, rather she was shunned by almost everyone else- but she completely agreed with what he was saying. If she had the choice, she would probably avoid a lot of the people anyways. After hearing all the obscenities and insults that people tend to throw her way, she was far from believing that people were nice. There were exceptions, er, there was one exception, which seemed to be Jon. He didn't seem to be mean as most other people were, but she didn't know him. Just as he had said, people were complicated. He might be just the same way, though Eve wasn't about to believe it.

With whatever anger she had previously felt completely faded away, Eve contemplated what she was going to say for a moment before she spoke. The unusual smile still sat cleanly on her face, and for once she felt the slightest bit strong. When she spoke, she didn't even stutter. "No, I don't choose to be alone. I guess it's pretty obvious, but I'm shy." Eve wanted to look away in humiliation for a moment, but she kept herself from doing so. "I suppose I'm the odd one out. I'm always the one that people make fun of, I'm left out of everything.. not that I really care. After I hear what people say about me, what's the point in looking for friends? I'm perfectly fine by myself." Even she knew that what she said was a joke- she was fine by no means, but she continued anyways. "I mean, I'd rather not have anyone to rely on rather then relying on people who aren't actually there for me.." Eve felt like she was rambling then, and that she was saying too much. She wanted to stop talking from embarrassment, but at the same time she had so much to say. She wasn't sure if she was making any sense, however, so she stopped and asked: "Does that make any sense?"

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[-xXInverted FlyingJennyXx-]

Jonathan

At first, I'm a little worried because her down-hearted face seems to have more passion, almost anger. Am I bothering her? I don't shrink back, though. It seems Amy's advice isn't working as well here. "Everyone's a human being. I don't care if we're all 'unique and special in our own way'. It's not true. Just talk, and others will understand," she says. This girl is obviously herself--she's more herself than we are all ourselves. She probably does mind what people say and think about her, but at least she's not wearing a mask to try and please them. If Amy were here--maybe Amy, who's queen of being herself and letting others think whatever, maybe Amy could arouse the girl in this forlorn looking figure. But Amy's not here. I decided to speak to her, and I'll just have to keep talking until she feels somewhat comfortable around me. Maybe Amy couldn't have possibly known what to do, anyway. She's used to just being herself and have others adjust abruptly.

I feel sorry for this girl--she doesn't even have a few lab rats to keep her company. Then, from the irritation clear in her expression, I realize that pity is the last thing she wants. A little taken aback, I take a deep breath.

I decide to take this time to just show compassion and take more out of our conversation for me than anything else. It seems a little selfish.

When she speaks, though, Eve smiles! I grin, almost in surprise, because the smile transforms her face. Her eyes are still sad, but not as much anymore. Her face lights up. Her smile is so pretty. Should I tell her that? I'm afraid it'll make her shrink back into her shell again. Yes, she said so herself--she's just shy.

"I suppose I'm the odd one out. I'm always the one that people make fun of; I'm left out of everything...not that I really care. After I hear what people say about me, what's the point in looking for friends? I'm perfectly fine by myself." Her tone is not convincing, but i don't say anything. I wonder why I've never noticed--surely, if there was a girl so tortured in school and around the District, I'd know, right? Perhaps Amy is right--I spend way too much time with my rats and microscopes. Simple as they are, I cannot let them ingest my life.

"I mean, I'd rather not have anyone to rely on rather than relying on people who aren't actually there for me." That would be the reason Amy relies on her training and people like Coryn and Belameane and me on my lab partners and professor instead of Mom and Dad. They're wonderful people, but most of our lives, ever since we were old enough to survive on our own, they've been at work. Sometimes, they seem more like distant aunts and uncles that are really nice and buy gifts for us on our birthdays instead of actual parents. Parents are supposed to cook and clean and ask us how our day went and tuck us in bed and embarrass us when we're with friends or that cute girl that lives down the street--I digress. I find my mental response to what Eve says slightly overwhelming. It's not like there's a void in my life because Mom and Dad aren't there most of the time or anything; I'm not lacking in anything.

Eve pauses, a little hesitant, I suppose. She probably has not spoken so much in one conversation in a long time. "Does that make any sense?"

I nod. "Yeah, it does--but you know, if you pushed yourself out of your comfort zone once in a while and forced yourself to smile and speak, maybe people would realize you're not so 'odd'. Do you ever tell anyone how you feel about society? What about parents? I think people usually have parents that are there for them, but I wouldn't know." I'm surprised at the hint of bitterness that creeps into my voice at the end.

"Hey--by the way, do you have an older brother? I thought I knew another Renner... but I don't remember." Was it something Amy said the other day about a trip with the orphans, or was it school...?

I stand and stretch. The afternoon sun is non-relenting. It's almost too bright for my eyes--eyes that are used to the constant light of the classrooms. "Let's go someplace cooler," I suggest. "How about some ice cream? I know a really good place just a block over. Come on. We'll talk there. My treat." I add, "There usually aren't many people there, so don't busy yourself with being shy."

I glance around the square. Is the stink of the alley getting into my head? The sun waves make things look like they're spinning. I really need to get out more.

[Sunrise Rainier D2 // [Thundy]]

Smiling was such an unusually rare thing to Eve Renner. It was almost as if she had never quite learned to use the muscles of her face up until that day; it felt so foreign and new. But now that she was smiling she was unable to stop. Her face which had previously been frozen into an ever-permanent frown was unfamiliar with the idea of appearing happy, though she loved every second of it. For the first time in a long time she didn't feel awkward or shy about something, and her smile was strong. It was the kind of smile that she only wore around her family, the only ones with whom she could truly feel comfortable around. She was never a chatterbox, though she enjoyed talking to this new boy and she enjoyed listening to what he had to say. What an odd day.

"Yeah, it does--but you know, if you pushed yourself out of your comfort zone once in a while and forced yourself to smile and speak, maybe people would realize you're not so 'odd'. Do you ever tell anyone how you feel about society? What about parents? I think people usually have parents that are there for them, but I wouldn't know." Just as quickly as it had come, her smile diminished into nothingness and her blue eyes became fearful again with the idea of stepping out of her comfort zone. She had attempted it before in years past, though her attempts always seemed to end up as failures. Every time she tried to smile or talk to someone, she always ended up stuttering and only looking all the more peculiar. It never ended well; most often the person whom she was speaking to laughed at her and walked away, leaving her standing with a red face and shattered hopes.

What about my parents? Eve asked herself, except it wasn't much of a question. They were her family; they had to be there for her through thick and thin- though it wasn't always enough. She probably wouldn't choose to have her life be as it was- she wanted friends and she wanted that smile of hers to remain permanently on her face- though she was used to being by herself and the quiet was soothing at times. If only there was some middle ground between the two situations; one where she not only had a few friends to talk to and be around but where she could escape and be silent when she needed to be. Her parents were there for her as much as they possibly could be, though they weren't exactly lackadaisical about their work. They were consistent hard-workers, and that didn't come without a lot of free time taken up and time away from family. Eve had her parents, but they were anything but reliable when it came to being with them.

Too distracted by her sudden rush of thought, Eve almost didn't notice the bitter tone hidden in the voice of her companion when he mentioned parents. She had her own issues when it came to family closeness, but what about him? Raising one of her eyebrows questioningly, she refrained from asking him the obvious question and instead kept listening to what he had to say politely. "Hey--by the way, do you have an older brother? I thought I knew another Renner... but I don't remember." His words brought an image of her brother to the front of her mind, one that was brighter and happier than that of which she thought of when her parents were mentioned. If there was one person on earth that was truly there for her, it had to be Raxar. He wasn't mean; he never fought with her. She could tell him everything and anything about how she was feeling or what was going on, and it was an irreplaceable brother-sister relationship. He was her rock and she would not be able to go on without him, even if she had to.

For a moment, as her companion stood up and stretched, Eve was afraid that he was going to leave her there to be by herself once again. "Hey, nice talking to you.. see you later.." It was an irrational fear, except she did not enjoy the idea of losing someone whom she enjoyed talking to. She tried her best to hide this silly feeling from her face, although she was sure a flicker of fear was obvious in her large blue eyes. Quickly, she swept the thought out of her mind, picked up her book, and stood up alongside him. It was much more obvious then how dramatically larger he was compared to herself. Not in strength (even though she was weak compared to anyone)- he didn't seem to be the athletic type- but rather in height. Eve was small enough that if she tried, she could easily squeeze herself into any enclosed space and hide. She was abnormally small, and he was the complete contrast to that trait.

Tilting her head up to look at him, she brought her right hand to her face to shield her eyes from the sun. All she could think to say was, "You're so tall.." Her voice made it clear that she meant it to be a joke, and for once she couldn't help but laugh. It was such a ridiculous difference in height; especially since she had to squint her eyes from the bright light and tilt her head to see his face clearly enough. A joke coming from her was another rarity, but she didn't spend too much time dwelling upon that fact. Today was a day full of abnormal occurrences and it was about time she accepted it.

"Let's go someplace cooler. How about some ice cream? I know a really good place just a block over. Come on. We'll talk there. My treat. There usually aren't many people there, so don't busy yourself with being shy." She was altogether thankful that he wasn't actually going to say goodbye and (as in most cases) never speak to her again, and that they could get out of the beaming sun and into a place where the temperature was a few degrees cooler. And ice cream! She hadn't had ice cream in the longest time. The thought made her peculiar smile widen ever so slightly; when she spoke, her voice was just as giddy as her thoughts.

"Really?" She paused, unsure of what to say for a moment before she mumbled a quick "Thank you." She peered down to where she was previously sitting and picked up the book that she had been reading and folded her arms around it as she began to walk. She still had to give answers to his questions, and it was to her slight delight that she realized she was none-too-hesitant to speak out about it. "Anyway.. my parents are out of the house a lot; they're always so busy with their work. I wish they would take some time off to be with my brother and me, but their work is important and I would hate to be the reason that they're away from it..." She paused, recalling the moment when she detected a hint of bitterness in what seemed to be a usually kind voice. "And yes, I do have a brother. His name's Raxar. Do you know him?" She hesitated for a moment and her curiosity got the better of her. "And what about your family? You almost sounded.. angry, when you spoke of your parents."

[[OOC: Eep! I'm sooo sorry for my horribly late replies. I've been so busy. DDDx]]

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